this is coming to a heckn end soon. what a sad roller coaster its been. but the lots of fluff will be back when this ends!
pairing; poly! hamilsquad x poly! reader
time; modern
warnings; s a d a g a i n
type of oneshot; angst
requested?; nada
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Your POV
I woke up to no one in bed, but then I realized it was still daytime. I had taken a nap... right. I checked my phone. 6:13. Something felt ridiculously off, but I couldn't tell what. I got off the bed, straightening my clothes. I looked in the mirror and quickly fixed my hair, then stepped out into the hall. "Guys?"
John's head appeared around the corner. "(N/N)! I was just about tell you dinner was ready!"
"Glad I woke up at the right time then."
We both laughed, but John's seemed a little nervous. I brushed it off. "Yeah..!"
I walked down the hall and into the dining room, where Herc was already sitting. He smiled as John and I sat down.
Dinner was a pretty quiet affair. I collected our plates and started the dishes when Herc walked in. "I need to run a few errands. I'll be back later tonight."
I nodded. "Gotcha. I'll see you tonight!"
Herc smiled slightly and pecked my cheek before leaving the kitchen. I smiled and resumed cleaning the dishes.
~
When I finished, I headed into the living room, where John was watching (F/C) (fav cartoon. i'll admit i'm a spongebob gal XD). I giggled.
"(F/C) huh? I knew you were a kid at heart, Freckles, but wow," I said jokingly.
John turned around, flashing me a grin. "You're one to talk, chickadee."
I laughed as I plopped onto the couch next to him. John wrapped an arm around me and I snuggled into his side. It was nice just being able to do this, but something nagged at me from the back of my head. I felt a sense of loneliness. I tried to tune it out and kept watching (F/C).
~ a couple hours later ~
After what turned into a (F/C) binge session, I felt tired. I yawned and cuddled into John as best I could, after he had pulled me onto his lap. John chuckled. "Tired?"
I nodded. "Yep.."
"I guess we can call it a day. I'm kinda tired too."
John picked me, causing me to squeak as he carried me to our bedroom, closing the bedroom door behind us. He sat me down on the bed, tossing me my (F/C) (in this case it's now color) pajamas.
We both changed (looking away from each other, of course), and soon found ourselves about to lie down. Only then I remembered Laf walking in earlier, then not seeing him again. I looked at John.
"Hey Johnny... can I ask you something..?" I asked nervously.
John nodded. "Sure, chickadee. What is it?"
I looked down at my hands. "What happened while I was asleep..?"
John's hazel eyes widened slightly, then looked at me sadly. "Are you sure you want to know, chickadee?"
I nodded slowly. "Please tell me.."
John sighed. "Okay... you should know..."
With that, he began to explain, and slowly, my bad feelings started clicking into place.
~ after the explanation ~
"...so yep. That's what happened..."
It took me a few moments to process everything. "He just picked up and left in the middle of the day..?" I whispered.
John nodded, grabbing my hand. "I'm so sorry, (N/N)..."
I squeezed his hand tightly. "What was the French he said again?"
John thought back a moment. "Well first he said... 'Ç'est... la seule.. solution'" he said, trying to pronounce the French.
I thought a moment. "It's the only way..."
John only sighed. I looked at him sadly. "What was the last one?"
It took John a few longer moments to remember. "'Pardonne-moi pour... la douleur, mes amours... la tempête... s'éclaircir... un jour...'"
That one took a tad longer, but I got it. "Forgive me for the pain, my loves... the storm will clear up one day."
I felt the tears pooling in my eyes at those words, but John only got increasingly more frustrated once he knew what Laf said. He let go of my hand.
"That son of a b*itch! He has no damn idea what he's done! I swear to God if I see--" I grabbed both of John's hands, finally looking him in the eyes. "John stop!"
John calmed down at my touch and then pulled me into a hug. His arms held me tightly as I finally broke and sobbed into his chest.
"F-first A-A-Alex... and now..!" I couldn't finish.
John didn't say anything, only rubbing my back or stroking my hair every so often. He whispered reassurances to me as I cried out all my feelings.
Eventually, I somehow managed to cry out all my tears, sniffling here and there. John still hadn't let go, and honestly, I was grateful he didn't.
I felt weak. Broken, helpless, hopeless. First had been Alex, now Laf. I couldn't even begin to understand.
Little had I known someone had come home and was listening from behind the door. Little had I known... someone was starting to think of his own plan, too.
The world would only keep falling apart, but not for much longer. When things hit rock bottom, they can only go up.
Yet... we hadn't even touched rock bottom. I couldn't understand.