Luke's POV
A disgusting wave of nostalgia washed over me when I walked into the hospital room. Ben was lying on the bed, hooked up to machines and wires and he looked so fragile. My legs were moving slowly as I walked closer to my injured brother. His head was in bandages and his arm was in a sling. His face was nearly unrecognizable under cuts, scrapes and bruises making me sick to my stomach. I can't lose Ben like this too.
My mother moved faster than I did and gripped onto Ben's hand, placing soft kisses to the exposed skin. Her tears have been pouring ever since she arrived into Portland and I haven't spoken a word to anyone. I'm too numb. I feel like everything in my body has shut down and might never work again especially if I lose my big brother. Jack was following behind my mom and wiped at his face as he took a seat on the chair in the corner.
I was so sick to my stomach and I couldn't make my feet move any further. I couldn't be here. I can't see my brother like this or hear the countless beeps and whooshing of the machines telling me Ben is barely hanging on to life. I won't sit here and watch him die like I did with my dad, I just can't. I started to breath heavily and back towards the door with everything distancing itself from me. My mom was too occupied with crying and looking at Ben to notice that I bolted from the room.
I started walking fast at first but when I got past the nurses station I took off in a sprint. I barely even noticed my friends sitting in the waiting area as I continued to run for the door. I heard footsteps from behind me so I pushed my legs even harder to get away from whoever was chasing after me. I needed to be alone now. The automatic doors slid open and I took off into the cold February air with whoever it was still on my tail.
"Luke where are you going?" Ashton's accent called out behind me and I kept running. "Luke!" I called again and I stopped abruptly and turned around to face him.
His face was full of worry and he walked closer to me but I took a step back. I didn't want Ashton's comfort right now I wanted the cold air to carry me away to a better place. A place where history wouldn't be repeating itself in such a vicious fashion.
"Ashton please go home." I pleaded and Ashton stopped dead in his tracks.
"W-what?" He stammered and I could see the hurt etched into his perfect features.
"Just go home, I don't need you here." I said and my voice shook involuntarily. I couldn't look at him anymore so my eyes trailed down to the concrete between us.
"Luke why are you saying this?" He asked and I scoffed. Like he'd know what any of this is felt like.
"Just leave." I said sternly and a tear rolled down my cheek. This is what happened when I was scared, I pushed people away I just never thought it'd be the person I loved most.
"No, I'm not going anywhere. I know what it's like to go through this alone." He said and took a step forward to try to close the distance between us.
"How would you know what this was like? Your dad killed himself." I spat and Ashton went stiff. I saw his breathing slow and he looked towards the ground then anywhere except to me.
The silence following was painful and I really wished I wouldn't have said that to Ashton. He looked so small and frail but I couldn't help what came over me. Fear makes people say things they regret. Tears were streaming down my face now and Ashton showed no emotion except for his fingers tugging at his hair.
"You're right. You are so fucking right Luke but you know what? I'm not going to be like my father. I'm not going to walk away from the people I care about, I refuse. So go ahead and try to push me away but I'm staying right here. I'm not going to be a fucking coward like he was Luke. I love you too damn much to walk away when you need me the most." Ashton was now shouting through sobs and his burning eyes were on me. I shook my head and ran into his arms.
"I'm so sorry." I sobbed into his shoulder and Ashton's hand ran over my hair and he held me tightly like I would disappear at any second.
"He'll be okay Luke, he will be just fine." Ashton assured me and I continued to shake in sobs.
"I didn't mean what I said Ashton." I said and I felt Ashton nod.
"I know Luke, I know. I love you okay?" He said and pulled away to look into my eyes.
"Okay, I love you too." I said and pulled his body into mine again. The air no longer seemed cold now that Ashton was out here. Suddenly a nurse was at the doorway of the hospital and she gave me a hopeful smile.
"Luke, your brother is awake and he'd like to see you." She smiled and I wiped my face of tears and followed her inside but noticed Ashton was still standing outside.
"Ashton are you coming?" I asked but he shook his head slowly at me.
"No you go ahead, I'll be there in a second." He smiled at me and I turned to head in, leaving him alone.
Ashton's POV
What Luke said was absolutely true. What the hell would I know about losing a family member like this? My dad wasn't in some sort of freak accident that left him dangling in front if me in question of whether he'd live or not, he fucking killed himself. I didn't have any good final memories of my dad, I had a fucking note. He didn't love me enough to even explain why he left. Ben didn't deserve to be hurt like this and Luke didn't deserve to go through this again.
When Luke said that about my dad all I could think about was that damn note he left me. Fight for what you love. The words tumbled around in my head and I decided that maybe it was a key. A key for me to use in my life to open so many doors. In that moment I realized that my dad left me with a tiny thing that would help me out even though he couldn't explain why he left. Maybe he wasn't strong enough to fight for me but I knew I had to be strong enough to fight for Luke.
I tried to wipe a stray tear as I glanced up to the dull stars in the sky. Sometimes things have to happen to realize where we are going and what we are doing. A token of wisdom was left for me to use and I decided I'm not going to be a coward and take the easy way out of this. I smiled at the sky and silently thanked my father wherever he may be for I finally understood why he left that note.
"Ashton?" A voiced called out from behind me and I spun around quickly to see Liz standing in the doorway. I wiped away another tear and tried to give her a positive smile as she approached me.
"How is he?" I asked with a sniffle and she gave me a faint smile.
"He's awake, in some pain but he's awake." She said and stood next to me to look at the stars too.
"Good I'm glad he's awake." I said with a grateful sigh.
"He wants to see you." She blurted out and I looked at her funny like maybe I had misheard her.
"W-what?" I stammered.
"He asked to speak with you." She smiled and put a hand on my shoulder to guide me inside. She led me down the hallway to the door of Ben's hospital room and urged me to go in.
My trembling hand pushed open the door and I saw Luke smiling at his injured brother. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pushed my legs forward towards the bed. Luke's blue eyes caught mine and he smiled faintly at me. Ben noticed and turned to smile at me as well. I waved at him lamely and continued to move closer to him.
"Luke could you give us a minute?" Ben's raspy voice asked and Luke nodded. He smiled at the both of is before walking out of the room.
"How are you feeling?" I asked and took the seat Luke was sat in.
"Like shit." Ben said with a chuckle that was cut short by him wincing in pain.
"I'm so sorry." I said quietly and Ben gave me a weird look.
"For what?" He asked.
"This." I said gesturing to him.
"Why the hell would you be sorry for this? Ashton it was an accident, these things happen. You can't be sorry for things you can't control." He said and stared at me until I nodded.
"Y-you wanted to see me?" I stammered and Ben's eyes darted around the room while he nodded.
"I want you to take care of Luke. I mean I know you probably do on a daily basis but after what I just went through I wanted to tell you this just in case." He said and I nodded for him to continue. "He beats himself up for stupid things and he can be so damn stubborn sometimes but you will have to love him regardless of those things. He's so annoying sometimes and talks about the most random things but none of that matters when he talks about something he has passion for." Ben said with a small chuckle. He wasn't telling me things I didn't already know.
"Don't forget his obsession with things." I said with a laugh and was a little shocked I said that aloud. Ben laughed a soft laugh and I looked back up to him.
"And there's that. But what I am trying to say is, can you please promise me that you'll take care of my baby brother whenever we can't be around? My dad made me promise the same thing before he passed and I just don't want to break that promise." He explained and I immediately understood.
"I promise." I said and Ben smiled.
"Not that I'm going anytime soon but I'm taking necessary precautions." He joked and I smiled.
"Better safe than sorry." I chuckled and Ben reached out for my hand. He squeezed it and stared at me with a smile on his face.
"You are good for him Ashton." He smiled and I felt tears welling up again.
"We are good for each other." I smiled and squeezed Ben's hand softly.
"Now could you send in a nurse? I need more drugs." He joked and I patted his hand and headed out of the room to find Ben a nurse to give him some pain meds.
I had just made the biggest promise of my life but I had no doubt that I could keep it.
>>>>
I get so emotional with chapters like this haha
I'm so sorry I left you for two days with a cliffhanger! I got busy and couldn't update right away. I will try not to do that again lol
Love you for reading
Until I update again :)