Now my vision is blur and I am seeing black skinny jeans and unmade beds and music notes and his face before I left. These images shouldn’t run together and I hope could wish it away. It took me seconds to recognize the person who is in front of me, those blazing green eyes and curls. Damn. How come he's here? Is he one of Liam's friends now? I should have known before coming here.
Seeing him wrapped around with someone else hurts. It hurts really bad. Maybe it's just because it’s late and i'm tipsy. Maybe I’m just overemotional right now.
"Where were you?" Says the girl. I assume his new girlfriend.
"I-I just got here." He responds.
"Wait, you know each other?" Liam interrupts. Pointing at me and Harry.
Well, of course. He's my ex! If only you were interested to listen about my love life you would've known.
"No." I immediately answered before he could say anything.
"Oh."
He shrugs. His eyes move to where I am standing. Eyes meeting mine again.
"You okay?" Zayn suddenly speak. Maybe he felt that I stiffed with the way I was still leaning on him and his arm around my waist.
"Um, yeah. Of course!" I smile.
"Come on guys! I need some dancin' now!" Niall runs down the stairs and we all followed.
--
The dance floor were filled with sweaty bodies, people grinding on each other and jumping to the beat. Zayn and Louis were already in joining the crowd. Niall is having his time chatting with some girls at the counter and Liam is pretty much occupied with Emma. Well, at least someone is having a good night.
Here I am, leaning against the cold wall with my arms crossed and a little bit tipsy. Maybe I shouldn't have came here and maybe I should've just sent Liam a congratulation card. How come people are having fun and I'm nowhere close?
Is it has something to do with what happened earlier? I couldn't deny that I was— and still, uncomfortable with it. But why is there a tiny part of me saying I am really happy to see him?
This is not what I have pictured tonight will be. Letting out a sigh, I decided to go home. I started to look for Liam and tell him but he's nowhere in sight, so is Emma.
"Great." I huff.
Maybe I should just wait for them for a minute, just in case. But where? Oh right! I make my way upstairs to where we were earlier. And good thing nobody's here, the place looks exactly the same as we left. Doesn't anybody else uses the VIP section besides us? I think this is not just a VIP room to me. I sat back to my seat and took my heels off. How long have I been walking with these? I reach down to my left foot and rubs it softly.
"I thought no one was here." Someone suddenly interrupts.
My body suddenly froze. That voice. I know that raspy voice. I look up to see who it was, and my mind didn't betray me.
"Oh I was just leaving." I said, embarrassed. Out of all my moments tonight that he would see, why now? I hoist myself off the seat and grab my heels. I am about to walk down but he grabs my arm.
"Don't be silly, Elaine." Elaine. I miss him calling me by my name.
"Sorry for interrupting you earlier." If he was talking about me rubbing my foot, I'd rather not talk about it. He walks towards a box hanging from the wall. He start to push some buttons and something beeped. I was surprised when a part of the wall started to move, revealing the beautiful city of New York— It's a glass window! I gasp at the sight.
"Wow. How did that happen?" Still amazed at what he did.
"Engineering." He sat on the one of the couches. "Sit?" He taps the space beside him.
I don't know what I should I do. Should I sit beside him? or continue to walk downstairs?
I pushed all my thoughts and ignored what my mind was saying, I walk towards the couch opposite to where he is. I sat, not looking at him.
It is this time? Would I tell him everything? Will he just laugh at me? I can start to feel my sweat falling. Could he tell that I'm nervous?
"So, how are you?" Well, he did.
What should I say? If I'm going to say "fine", that would be lying. But why would he care, right? Again, I push all my thoughts at the back of my head and start to utter my response.
"I've been wonderful." I smile to make it more believable.
"That's great then." He smiles back. But there's something in his smile and I don't want to know what it is.
An awkward silence fell in the room.
"El-"
"So you're friends with Liam huh?" I cut him off. I guess I don't want to know what he has to say too.
"Yeah, I met him around. He's cool."
"He really is. That's why he's my best man." Harry's eyes widens.
"Best man? You're already married!?" He almost shouted. There's a strange look on his face and something's telling me it's not good.
"God no!" I defend. Why does he think I'm married? I'm not even wearing any ring yet.
"Oh." He sighs in relief. "I thought you were, cause you called him that."
"No, I am not. And it's just my pet name for him." I laugh awkwardly.
"That really shocked me." He grabs a bottle from the table and drunk it all off. Does he think that I'm not capable of marrying someone else? That nobody will? Just because we we're committed before doesn't mean I will never have another one with someone else.
"Listen, El. There's something that I really want to talk about."
"I don't think that matters right now." Whatever he had planned on saying doesn't concern me anymore. He already has a girlfriend for Pete's sake! In just what? Months? I don't care if it's been quite long but he had clearly moved on. I know now that I’m the only broken hearted one.
"Why won't it matter? We can talk about i-"
"So there you are, El!" Zayn pops out, breaking the atmosphere. And for a moment, I was thankful for a Zayn Malik.
"I thought you left, I can't find you downstairs."
"I was waiting for Liam." I smile at him. He's so sweet.
"Hey man." He acknowledges Harry's presence. Harry just nodded back.
"I could help you find Liam downstairs, if you want." I nod. I just want to get away from Harry right now. "But I'm going, you stay here. You look tired."
"No, I'm fine. I can come with you." I insist.
"Stay." They both hissed.
"See? Harry can keep you company." He pats Harry's shoulder before he begins to walk downstairs.
And there's the awkward silence again.
"So, you and Zayn then?" He breaks the silence, again.
"It's not what you think. He's nice and sweet though."
He didn't say something back.
--
Minutes feels like hours and the room is cold. Harry is still with me but he's still silent, which is somehow good.
I glance at him. He's looking deep into the sight in front of us. I took this chance to examine him. He looks pretty much the same since the last time I saw him. His a lot more muscular now though and more tattoos. His hair a little bit longer. Seeing him here, right now, makes me regret what I have just let go.
He noticed me starring at him and coughed.
Shit. I immediately looked away. I can't take another minute with him here. I need to find Liam soon, I need to get out of here soon.
I got off my sit, not caring if I'm leaving Harry alone. I start to walk towards the stairs and Harry suddenly mumbles.
“I wonder what would have happened if maybe I had asked you to stay just one more time.” He says.