As quietly as I could, I made my way to my room, got ready for bed and took a well-deserved rest.
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Warning!
This story may trigger readers who suffer from anxiety, depression or PTSD. There are many mentions of domestic abuse, self harm, self loathing, suicidal thoughts and tendencies. If you are easily triggered or bothered by such content, proceed with caution.
~W. D. Girl
Your POV:
I woke up to yelling. My father was standing next to my bed, looking furious. I slowly tried to sit up but was forcefully pulled out of bed by my hair. His movement caused my scalp to burn, it felt like he was trying to pull all my hair out. Next thing I know, I'm laying on the carpeted floor, tears beginning to form in the corners of my eyes.
"Where were you last night, huh?! You ungrateful brat! You think you can just disappear?!"
I was shielding my head with my arms, hits and punches came flying down on me with brute force. I didn't bother fighting back, it would only hurt more.
A kick to the stomach.
A punch to the back.
Spit directly in the face.
By the time he was done with me, my whole body was sore, blood was pouring from certain wounds that were reopened, but I still didn't care.
"I'm going on a mission. I'll be gone for about a month. Don't do anything you'd regret."
He made his way out of the house, leaving me alone with my inner demons. What did I ever do to him? Why did he hate me so much? With a heavy sigh, I limped to my bedside cabinet to grab my phone and check the time. I had one of those old-timey phones, but it was perfect. Unlocking the keypad, I shuffled between different apps, such as music, messages etc. The time read 5 am, plenty of time to get ready for school. I had to hide my scars somehow.
I released a breath I was unknowingly holding and headed towards the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and locked it. Just as a percussion. Peeling off my bloodied pj's, I threw them into the laundry bin. While looking around for soap, I noticed my father's razor. I don't know what came over me, or how I knew what I could do with it but I suddenly got a strange, aching feeling I need it in my hands. I bit my lip and reached for it.
Once it was in my hands I felt in control of myself. I felt in control of my life. I wanted to forget the pain my father inflicted. With another careful examination of the razor, I realized I could take it apart and only control the blade. I tried pulling at the plastic surrounding it. No luck there. I tried pulling the blades apart. My fingers slipped off the plastic because of the force I was putting on it. A short wave of pain surged through my pointer finger's knuckle. It stung like hell, yet at the same time, it felt relieving, satisfying. I watched as a droplet of fresh blood ran down the fingertip then landed in the sink. It held me in a trance.
Snapping back into reality, I pulled the blades apart with force, even though it caused more injuries on my knuckles. Once I held the small blade between my finger I got second thoughts. 'Do I really want this? What will it feel like?' My curiosity could only be undone after I've tried it. I stared at the blade, unsure of what to do. Making a decision not to do anything, I hopped into the shower and scrubbed away the dried up blood.
After the shower, I dressed in a long-sleeved (f/c) crop top sweater and black jeans. On top of my outfit, I wore a cozy, fluffy half (f/c), half black vest. It was 6 am when I was ready to leave. If I went then, I'd wait for the bus to come for at least an hour, so I decided to do some work around the house. Doing the laundry took a while, but was done the fastest, since my father and I don't throw much dirty laundry in the bin.
Next was vacuuming the living room. It was an utter disaster. Little crumbs of everything were littered everywhere, specks of dirt and stains of miscellaneous fluids decorated the plain couch.
I'll get back to that after school. I didn't have that much time.
When the time was right, I headed towards the bus station and waited for the bus to arrive. As always, I was the first one on. I sat at the back and waited for my destination. We arrived just in time for the pre-hour lesson. Since I didn't have anything to do, I decided to visit the library and search for anything that included monster history and culture. The library was located on the third floor of this facility, so going up a flat of stairs was inevitable. Looking at it on the bright side, at least I got my daily cardio done. Almost out of breath, I made my way to the library. There were a few students here and there, studying for whatever was waiting for them in the classrooms or just trying to go ahead with their knowledge to impress the professors.
I went back and forth between the bookshelves, searching for anything that would fill my knowledge on monsters. I looked under the letter M for monster. All I found were some fairytale books for kids. Before I could find anything the bell rang, announcing a five-minute break before the start of the school day. I hurried to the classroom where I had the first lesson. I had to keep up my hood, or else they'd notice my father's doing. Tom was nowhere to be seen to my luck. I didn't want him worrying about me.
The bell rang once again, ushering all students inside their classrooms. By school policy, I had to take off my hood, therefore, I sat at the back of the classroom to not draw any unwanted attention to myself. Other than that, the first two hours went by as usual, until the long break.
"Hey, twerp! That's MY seat you're on."
A bratty girl snapped at me. I supported my head with my right arm to hide my face, giving her an unamused glance.
"I don't see your name on it."
"Get off this instant!"
A small smirk spread across my face as I looked at her coyly.
"Too bad, if you liked it, you shoulda put a ring on it."
I finished with a shrug, looking at her with a shit-eating grin. The girl smacked me across the face with a lot of force. I was still processing what had happened, making my head stay in the position the hit put it in for a few seconds, before gathering my thoughts and facing my attacker. She looked furious. 'Dang, who stepped on her tail today?'
"No wonders you're so unlikable! You're just a spoiled bitch who thinks she can bend everyone to her will!
The girl snapped at me as she left to find another seat. It's sad that I wasn't even phased by this kind of treatment. I have grown numb to other people treating me like an object, all thanks to my father.
Because of that little 'incident', other students got the guts to approach me and make fun of me. I didn't care anymore. Those little unimportant events meant nothing to me. I go to school to learn and get my education, nothing more, nothing less.
I came home at around 4 pm, exhausted and numb. Now that I was home alone, everything seemed too quiet. To set my mind at ease, I began cleaning around the house. After that was done I did my homework and studied. Math was a bit complicated but with a bit of thinking I was able to solve it no problem. Realizing what time it was, I headed outside as fast as possible.
When I was walking down the street a stranger approached me and asked me my name. Out of fear it might be a spy, I walked away. It was fairly strange and very nerve-wracking.
Stranger's POV:
When I saw her walking down the street, she looked so fine, I just had to speak. I asked her name, but she turned away. As she walked, all that I could say was mmm mmm, yeah yeah.
Your POV:
I arrived at the clearing where the monsters had set a small camp with tents. I was hesitant at first, but seeing I had nothing to fear and lose, I made my way forward. A skeleton approached me, but not the one I was hoping to meet. I believe it was Papyrus' brother, though I never caught his name.
"What are you doing here, doll."
He asked in a threatening way, looking down on me like a predator would look down on its prey. I looked around frantically for the tall skeleton who went by the name Papyrus, only to realize he's nowhere to be found. A hitched breath escaped my lungs as I looked at the monster towering over me, his expression of irritation turning into a sickening smirk. He was about to say something, but my savior finally arrived, pulling me away from sudden death. The shorter skeleton still gave me glares as we speed walked to a remote area.
Once we were in our desired place, he was quick to apologize for his brother's behavior.
"I'm really, really sorry about him. He's... Kind of going through some things. I promise, once you get to know him better, he's actually a good guy."
Papyrus stated while rubbing his cervical vertebra.
"No worries. I hope he's better soon."
I responded and waved off the incident as sincerely as possible.
That earned me a small smile from Papyrus as he sat down, motioning for me to do the same. With a semi-silent sigh, I did what he expected of me, taking a seat next to him. A moment of silence passed between us before he looked at me, giving me another smile.
"You know astronomy is a vast subject, so you'll have to fill me in on what you already know."
He started.
"Well, I know a lot about our solar system.. I know a thing or two about stars, I can name a few constellations, I know how to use the star map."
I listed a few things. Papyrus looked at me in awe, seemingly lost for words.
"You know way more than I thought you would."
I didn't know if I should take that as a compliment or as an insult but smiled anyway. Looking up at the starry sky, I zoned out into my own world while all the knowledge I held began resurfacing in my mind.
"For thousands of years, even before we had the word 'astronomy,' us humans have been looking up at the sky. Astronomy is the study of everything that is or was in space beyond the Earth's atmosphere.
We are still looking up because the sky is such a fascinating place and because we are learning more and more about it every day."
Papyrus chuckled and leaned back, his hands supporting his weight.
"Even though the monster race has been stuck Underground, that didn't stop us from exploring our surroundings, our 'stars'. Some even studied old studies of stars on the surface. It always fascinated us how big the world above us is."
I nodded in acknowledgment and extended my dominant hand, reaching for the distant stars and hoping for a better future. I want them to take my pain away. Papyrus was quick to notice the change in mood, so he continued with his recap of all the knowledge we had.
"When you look up at the night sky you are looking at the universe. Everything is inside the universe, even us, and it is impossible to imagine how big the universe is. Not to mention it's expanding every second, adding more unknown and unexplored wonders for us to discover."
"Yeah. The history of astronomy is quite interesting too."
Papyrus' expression lightened and he seemed to listen more closely to me.
"I've had trouble figuring it all out because our recorded progress was so worn out. Can you explain it to me so I can know what we got right and what wrong?"
His reaction to my statement made a small smile appear on my (s/c) face.
"Of course. Long ago people thought that the Sun, and all the other planets, revolved around Earth, which we now call the geocentric model, also known as geocentrism, or the Ptolemaic system.
A scientist named Galileo proved in the 1600's that the Earth and the other planets revolved around the Sun, nowadays referred to as heliocentric system or heliocentrism. He used a special tool called a telescope to look at the sky."
He nodded and put his hand on his chin, lost in thought, probably going through all the received information.
Our small conversation kept going for a while, making us both forget where we were and what we were doing before this. Eventually, I had to say my farewell, because school was a necessity if I didn't want my father knowing my whereabouts.
I made my way to the forested part of the park, the moon was peeking through the space between the trees' leaves. A strange feeling came across my whole being. I felt like I was being followed. The feeling didn't stop, making me paranoid and a little scared. I turned around but saw nothing. When I looked back in the direction of my travel, I was pinned to a tree with a lot of force, making a small whimper escape my lungs.
"I saw you lurking around my brother."
The person spoke. When I regained some of my thoughts back, I could see it was the other skeleton. He had anger written all over his face.
"W-what?"
Was all I could manage to get out of me. He slammed his hand beside my head, giving the tree trunk a dent. My heartbeat increased, adrenaline was pumping through my veins, yet I couldn't move nor speak.
"Listen, human. I don't want you around my brother or any other monster, get it? Or else you'll regret it."
Venom coated his every word, his eye sockets held hate in them. I quickly nodded when I noticed his expression getting angrier. With that, I was free of his grasp. When I got back a little bit of courage, I turned to face him but he was already gone.
While I was walking home, dark thoughts resurfaced my mind. It shifted back to the little event in the morning, where I held that thing in my hands. I wanted to try it. I have nothing to lose anymore. School is a drag, nobody there cares about anyone. My only friend turned against me, just so he could look 'cool'. And just when I thought I was making a friend, that monster had to ruin it for me. I just want for the pain to go away.
I entered my empty home, turned on a few lights and headed straight to the bathroom. 'Where did I put the damn thing?'
I looked around to try and find the razor, but that thing was so small it was really hard to find. In the end, I saw it laying on the cabinet beside the mirror. I didn't know how to do it or what I should do before hurting myself. I positioned my left arm above the sink, my right hand holding the small blade firmly.
I took a deep breath and presses the sharp object against my skin, too afraid to make any other motion. Thoughts came pouring in, bringing all sorts of feelings to my being.
'I'm not important. I don't matter. I mean nothing.'
First slice.
I haven't realized what I had done until I felt a stinging sensation run through my arm.
"Fucking hell!"
I whisper-yelled at the pain I was experiencing. It hurt so bad, yet it somehow gave me the relief of everything that was going through my head. I didn't hear those awful thoughts anymore. With that in mind, I made another swift motion across my left arm, leaving a bloody slice behind. Then another, and another, and another. I wasn't sure how to properly do it. I wanted to feel the stinging sensation, but I didn't want to go too deep just yet. I'd get the hang of it eventually.
I switched arms and did the same, leaving my bloody arms with 20 cuts in total. The ones made with my dominant hand looked better than the other ones. Blood was covering both of my arms, the stinging was overwhelming. I shed a few tears of pain, before pulling myself together and deciding to clean up the mess I've made. I opened the faucet and put it to cold, running the razor under the fresh stream of water.
Without thinking anything of it, I put my right arm under the stream, not expecting the stinging to become stronger. I cursed in pain and jolted back, almost losing my balance.
"Shit! Oh, fuck it hurts!"
I kept repeating, hoping my colorful vocabulary would ease the pain. When I gathered enough courage to encounter the water again, I quickly cleaned up my cuts. The blood just wouldn't stop pouring out, so it was a real pain in the ass to clean up.
After I had managed to clean up the mess, I wrapped up my arms loosely, got ready for bed and went to sleep.