MAGNUS'S POV.
Again. It happened again. After I kissed Alex, everyone found out that I definitely aren't straight. And even though Valhalla is supposed to be paradise, like Sam said, theres a pecking order, and being half Vanir, almost starting ragnarök and now being outed has put me at the lowest of the low. I'm constantly attacked, bullied. On the battlefield, i'm searched for and targeted. They torture me when my friends are dead or missing. So here I lie. In my bed during the battle, crying because of the simple fact that i'm worthless. No matter what happens i'm always going to be less then the others. Why can't they leave me alone to be who I am. Such as is life, there is never going to be peace. Valhalla itself is proof of it.
After Alex left the dining hall, and disappeared, I left before T.J, Mallory and Halfborn. That was probably dumb. I didn't even have Jack, he was on a date with an axe that has "sharp edges and a thicc handle with a taste in revealing handgrips", his words. I walk down a corridor to get to the elevator to my room. And they're in the said elevator, and their sharkish grins tell me what a nice suprise it is for them to be able to hurt a little blonde boy who's einherji strength hasn't fully developed. And thats what they do. In an instant, my long hair is pulled back and my life dissolves into pain and flashing lights in my eyes. I blink in and out of consciousness, only catching some of their words. "Fag"
"Kill yourself"
"Nobody loves you"
"Go die"
"Theres no place for your kind here"
I puke, being kicked in the stomach, and I feel the shards of my smashed ribs tear through my flesh as it's displaced my beating. One twists my arm, and I hear a pop. Dislocated. A crack. Broken. I cry out in pain and despair, suddering in a foetal position, choking up blood onto the clean elevator floor. After they leave, I lie there until the next person who uses the elevator is kind enough to finish me off, and eventually someone does drop a dagger into my forehead.
I think I might do it. Go into Midgard, jump off a bridge, what could be easier? Land purposefully headfirst and I won't even feel it. My friends may miss me for a while but they will get over it. I daresay they have known people who died before. And Alex deserves better then me. Jack hums heavily on my chest, back from his date, and having to hear my depressed thoughts. "They hate you because Alex kissed you. Clearly even if that borl could do better, they don't want better. They want you" he hums slowly. I take him off and lay him on the cabinet next to my bed. "Thanks Jack, but they probably don't know anyone better yet" I whisper.
I see the shadows of feet under the door, and I slip quietly out of bed to the peephole. It's Alex. He's male now, and he raises his hand as if to knock. Then he sighs, takes his hand back and walks away. As if I needed any further confirmation that nobody wants to see me, speak to me or let alone love me and be with me. I'm going to Midgard. They won't miss me.
SORRY FOR FEELS, THIS IS MY FIRST ATTEMPT AT EVER WRITING ANGST AND IM TERRIFIED OF MYSELF BECAUSE I RELATED TO THIS AND IM HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS NOW LOL END ME ANYWAY HOPE YALL ENJOYED!