I could hear my phone ringing loudly by my bedside and the only thought running through my mind was, “Who hates me this much?” I couldn’t fathom who would need to wake me up on my day off at such an ungodly hour. I slowly allowed my eyes to pry themselves open and I peaked over at my screen.
Harry Calling…
I should have known. I groaned loudly and clicked my phone to answer the call.
“What do you want, Styles?” I asked in my harshest tone, which wasn’t very good considering I was fighting a yawn.
“Get up, Pond. We’re going to the radio.” He responded, sounding much too chipper for 7 AM.
“Today? Why does it have to be today?” I whined. I had been promising Nick for the past few days that I’d come by and listen to the show at Radio 1, but I wasn’t thinking my day off. I had planned on sleeping in until at least 10.
“‘Cause it’s your day off! We’re going to eat breakfast, then go to meet Nick and then go to the park after! With Puppy, Gizmo, and Ringo!” He sounded positively elated at the idea. I had to admit it did sound like a nice day.
“Well listen to you, planning my whole day aren’t you?” I didn’t mind really. If it wasn’t for Harry I’d probably spend my whole day off on the couch with Gizmo.
“Shit, I kind of am aren’t I? You don’t have to, obviously. I just thought that like-”
“Harry! Harry, I was just teasing, that sounds lovely.” I giggled while I cut him off. He had been doing that a lot lately, the rambling. It was cute to see him so flustered every now and then. But I wasn’t sure what had gotten into him.
“Oh okay, wicked.”
“Want me to meet you at yours?” I offered.
“No!” He answered quickly and with such vigor that it startled me. “I mean no, that’s okay. I’ll come to yours.”
“Okay…what do you want to do for breakfast? I could make something or we could go to a cafe or something?” I asked, purposely leaving out the option of Starbucks.
“I’m up for going out, if you are.”
“Alright, there’s a place near me we can go to if you’d like.”
“Sounds good, send me the address and I can just meet you there.”
We hung up and I texted him like he requested and I began to get ready.
I had on leggings and a plain white vest top and decided that I would just keep them on. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and threw on a baseball cap, not being bothered to do anything special to my hair at this hour. Only the bare minimum of make up was happening too, foundation and mascara, I mean it was 7 AM for Christ’s sake. I also grabbed my thin, thigh length, army green jacket since it’d no doubt be too cool for only a vest top. I pulled on my black converse and was out the door.
I figured taking Harry to Norma’s would be easiest since it was so close to my flat, that way we wouldn’t have a long way back to get Gizmo after we’d eaten. I was silently praying that Norma would be more subtle than Sylvia in her surprise of me bringing a boy around. I had never brought a boy, other than family, to Norma’s with me. It was sort of a safe haven for me, but of course Harry seemed to be an exception.
The second I was through the door I heard my name being called. I turned to the counter and saw Norma standing behind it and Harry sat on one of the stools, looking cheerful as ever. I made my way to them.
“Morning,” I grumbled, still not thrilled with being up and out so early.
“Oh now, don’t be a grump, dear.” Norma tsk-ed at me.
“‘S early,” I whined.
Harry leaned forward and placed a kiss to my cheek. “Sorry,” he offered, not looking very sorry at all. “So, apparently you’re quite the regular here.” He said just as Norma placed my usual order down in front of me.
“I suppose you could say that.” I giggled softly and thanked Norma, which she responded to with a wink.
“Alright, the plan for today is once we’re done eating here, we swing back to yours and get Giz then head to the studio and hang with Nick for a bit. He lives close by so once we finish there we’ll swing by HIS and get Puppy and Ringo and then go to the park.”
“Very impressive planning skills, Styles.”
“Why thank you, Pond.” He nodded and tipped his hat causing me to laugh loudly.
We laughed and joked all through breakfast. The place wasn’t very busy today and Norma sat with us for a bit, telling the story of when she first started to remember me as a regular. Harry was adorable to watch when people told stories. He sat so attentively and looked at them as if they were telling him the meaning of life, it was sweet and I realized I had been watching him for a good portion of the story.
Norma was bringing the bill around, but as we waited Harry cleared his throat and said my name.
“Yeah?” I questioned.
“Could I, um, ask you something? About your...anxiety?” He looked positively frightened to ask me this. He kept flashing his eyes between me and the table, one hand was tapping on his leg while the other was pulling at his lip.
“Sure...just...how about once we’re in the car? On the way to Nick?” I didn’t mind talking to him, surprisingly. I would have thought that that question would have sparked something inside of me, but I felt okay. Ready to talk to him, really.
He nodded frantically, looking relieved, but also still worried.
“It’s okay, Harry.” I reassured him. He looked up at me with raised eyebrows. “I don’t mind.” He visibly relaxed more now, nodding to himself this time.
We paid and quickly got back to mine, putting Gizmo in the back seat of Harry’s car. I had tried to suggest taking my own, his was far too nice and I was worried about what Giz could get into back there, but he insisted. We were headed to Radio 1 now and I could tell Harry didn’t know how to bring the topic back up, so I gave him a hand.
“So, you’ve got some questions?”
“Yeah. Well, ‘s more like I just kind of want to know...if there’s anything, um, major that triggers it. Like just so I can know stuff to avoid, t-to help! O-or be prepared.” I smiled softly despite myself. “It’s just, like, I read online that most people have like specific things that cause attacks and obviously there’s like...the mo-crowd….thing, but I just-” He was starting to really ramble now and sounded a bit panicky. Probably because I hadn’t spoken yet.
“Harry!” He looked over at me and I took in a deep breath, demonstrating that I wanted him to do the same, which he did. It should have been making me a little nervous, talking about this with him, like it did with anyone else. But really, all I could focus on right now was that he researched it online. He took the time to read about all this online just so he could be more educated...for me. My stomach felt like it erupted with butterflies.
“Well, it’s really mostly just the crowd thing that ever causes an attack. I have it pretty under control with medication and all. If you want to get technical, my “triggers” are crowds, meeting lots of new people at once, and….popstars.” He whipped his head over to me to be met with my smiling face. He had looked almost morbid as he listened, so I attempted to lighten the mood. He let out a breathy laugh. “But really, other than the crowd thing, you don’t have to worry about anything. Actually, I’d rather you didn’t worry about any of it at all.”
“Well that’s not going to happen. Of course I’m going to worry.” He looked at me as if it was ridiculous to suggest anything else. “Can’t help it.”
I let out a sigh. While it was sweet, I didn’t want him worrying anytime we were together about what could happen. It’d drive him mad eventually.
“I brought it up for a reason actually. Sometimes there are some fans waiting outside the studio, not for me, but Nick. Although they usually know me too...It’s never more than like 10, especially at this time. But if you’d prefer we can go in the back way.”
“No...that’s okay. We can go in the front.” I responded confidently. As long as I could slide right past them and wait for Harry inside I’d be fine.
“Alright.” He agreed, hesitance lacing his tone.
“It’ll be fine.” I patted his arm that rest between us. He nodded.
We finally got to the studio and Harry was right, there was only about 7 girls and a clear path to the door. There was also a middle-aged man who I assumed to be the father of one of the younger girls. Harry parked in a lot that he assured me he was allowed to use and we headed down the street to the studio.
We were just approaching the building and the girls outside hadn’t noticed us yet. Suddenly I felt Harry’s hand grab mine forcefully and he yanked me up against the building we were passing as to shield us from the girls.
“What th-”
“There’s a pap.” He grumbled out.
“Alright…” I looked at him to continue.
“Is that alright? We can just go in the back, ‘s not a big deal.” He turned and started to pull me back to the car, still holding my hand.
I tugged him back and he turned around looking startled as I held my ground. “We can go in the front.”
“But-”
“I’m fine, Harry.” He looked over my shoulder to them and something clicked in my head. “Unless you don’t...you don’t want to be papped with me again. We can go in the back.” I started towards the car this time, pulling him along.
It was his turn to tug me back now. As I slowly lifted my gaze to match his he looked bewildered. “No, no, no. That’s not it. I’m just, like, trying to look out for you.”
We both stood on the sidewalk, staring at each other and holding hands. Both looking for signs in the other’s eyes that they were lying. I wasn’t normally one for such intense eye contact, but I wanted him to see I was telling the truth. I was also trying not to focus so much on how warm and soft his hand was and how much I enjoyed it in mine.
“Front?” He asked.
I nodded. “Front.”
Our hands stayed interlocked until we got close enough for the girls to notice who Harry was. At that time I pulled mine away from his, but he kept us close enough that as we walked they continued to bump into each other, which was confusing. We managed to go around the group without any of them noticing Harry. At the most the pap may have gotten a shot of Harry’s back.
Harry led us into the building and through the halls. I began to daydream a bit and started to wander down the wrong hall, so Harry reached for my hand yet again and yanked me in the opposite direction.
“Whoops.” I smiled sheepishly.
“Try not to get lost, hey? What would me and Giz do without you?” I blushed at that. He didn’t let go of my hand again, which I silently cheered about, thoroughly enjoying the strange comfort of it.
Nick cheered loudly as we walked through the door and we broke apart to say our hello’s. We sat down on a couch set up right next to Nick and were promptly shush-ed. The song he was playing was almost over and he wasn’t going to mention we were there on radio so that it wouldn’t draw in a larger crowd. Girls tended to flock to the studio when they found out Harry was around.
I drew my legs up and sat Indian style on the couch, one of my bent knees resting slightly on Harry’s leg since he was sat so close. He was quick to adjust his arm so that his hand rested softly on my knee. My heart began to beat harder at his touch. Yes, Harry tended to be quite cuddly and I was used to that, but today just felt different. Maybe it was because I was so much more aware of my feelings for him lately. But I wasn’t so sure.
His touches were different today. Usually he’d throw his head down into my lap or his legs or rest on my shoulder. Today though...today they were soft, gentle touches, but also hesitant, the hand holding, resting his hand on my knee, guiding me with his hand barely on my lower back. I wasn’t uncomfortable with them, quite the opposite really, but it was definitely something that was confusing me.
I saw Harry’s hand catch Nick’s eye, but he obviously couldn’t call him out on it which I was thankful for. Speaking of Nick, he was quite a sight during his show. I’d listened to the show all the time, but seeing it was such a different experience. I loved it and instantly regretted how long it took me to finally come in. There wasn’t loads of people in the studio, plus anyone who was in there was working and completely overlooked Harry and I.
Harry had started to rub slow circles on my leg and I had to admit it was incredibly distracting. In the best way possible. Nick and Tina were arguing back and forth about something while a song played and I was trying to pay attention. During their last argument (fifteen minutes ago) they turned to me for my input, but I hadn’t heard a word they said, instead I had been sitting in la-la land because of Harry’s touch.
His hand had creeped just a bit higher up my leg and I knew I wasn’t retaining anything I was hearing Nick or Tina say. Feeling a surge of bravery I reached my hand down and put it over Harry’s to halt his movement. He looked over to me suddenly, clearly worried he had done something wrong.
I shook my head and whispered shyly to him, “You’re distracting me.”
His eyes widened and I swear he began to blush right away.
“Just don’t want to get called on again and not even know what they’re on about. Felt like I was back in primary school.” I was sure I was blushing too as my eyes flickered between his and my lap.
“I’m sorry.” He told me sincerely.
“‘S alright.” I shook my head and tentatively continued, “Felt nice.” I peeked up at him from under my baseball cap to find his face lit up with a shy, but beautiful smile.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Nick yell. “Right Sav?!”
“Bollocks.” I muttered and Harry burst into laughter.
---
Puppy and Ringo were thrilled to meet Gizmo. I almost felt bad for Nick being stuck in the backseat of Harry’s car with the three dogs, but he seemed to be loving it. Taking picture after picture of all of them together.
We got the park and sorted the dogs all out with their leashes and started to walk. We decided we’d do a lap or two around the park before getting out a blanket and toys and just chilling out. Numerous times leashes were tangled and we were all bumping into each other because the dogs just wanted to play at first. Once they finally realized we were walking them first they calmed down. The order ended up being Harry, then me, then Nick. Unfortunately (read: fortunately) Harry and I held the leashes with opposite hands so we again continued with the light hand bumps as we went. Nick didn’t seem to notice that thankfully and just rambled on telling us about the show before we had arrived.
We tossed our blanket down and all collapsed onto it.
“Alright, what’s the plan after this? Someone better be feeding me.” Nick demanded.
I thought back to all the food I had bought grocery shopping a few days ago. “You guys can come to mine if you’d like. I’ll cook.”
“Cheers, Savvy.” Nick beamed. “You coming, Haz?”
“Sounds lovely.” He answered as he winked at me.
“So Harold, when are you leaving me for LA again?” Nick asked, switching to another nickname.
“Oh, um, not for a few weeks actually.” Harry thought for another moment. “Like three weeks? I’m not sure, I’ll have to check with someone soon.”
“What do you go to LA for?” I wondered out loud.
“Just writing stuff, meeting with some other artists as well.”
“Writing? Can’t you just do that here?”
He smirked at me. “Why Savannah? Are you gonna miss me too much?” My mouth shut immediately and I blushed again. “Just teasing.” He said to me quietly while he nudged me.
“But really, it probably could be done here for the most part, it’s just because I’m meeting with some people about doing some writing...for them.” He explained.
“That’s really cool, Harry. I didn’t know you like wrote for other people.” It’s not that I didn’t think he was capable of doing it, it just took me by surprise. I’d never heard anything reported about him doing any writing, usually it was just about his two bandmates that worked a lot on their album.
“Yeah, well ‘s not a big deal.” He told me bashfully.
“Don’t be modest, young Harold.” Nick spoke as he laid on the blanket. He had his sunglasses on and honestly looked like he was sleeping for a moment.
I looked back to Harry and saw that he seemed distracted by something in the distance. I tried to follow his gaze and it landed on three girls with a dog, not so far from us. It was obvious that they could tell that Harry was in fact Harry Styles and they seemed to be debating coming over.
Harry stood suddenly and wiped his hands across his legs to knock off any grass that stuck to him. “Be right back.”
Nick sighed loudly and I turned to see that he too had noticed the girls. “Course he’s going over there.”
My head turned back around and I saw that he was indeed approaching the girls. “Why?”
“Think this time might have more to do with you, if I’m honest.” Nick sat up and removed his glasses.
“What?!” I asked, baffled.
“Don’t think he wanted to risk them coming over here and scaring you.” He shrugged as if that was a normal thing to reason.
“I wouldn’t be scared of them…” I muttered.
“Oh! No, no...shit. That sounded less rude in my head. I tend to blurt things out without thinking, if you hadn’t noticed.”
“‘S okay.” I told him, understand what he meant.
“He’s just really worried after like everything that happened. Spent hours researching the other night while I was over.”
“He doesn’t have to do that though.” I said, referring to going to the girls. “They might not have even bothered him, he didn’t have to.”
“Yeah, but he doesn’t want to risk you getting upset.” I was about to protest that I could handle three teenage girls, but he saw that and continued on. “Not that I’m saying you would have! He’s just being overprotective right now, think some of what he read online freaked him out a bit.”
“He shouldn’t have read anything, I can only imagine how...horrible they make it sound.”
“He’ll calm down, just give him time. Let him be protective, get it out of his system. He’ll realize how ridiculous he’s being eventually.” Nick reasoned.
It was sweet really, Harry being protective. I just didn’t want him to worry too much and be approaching every fan he sees just because of me. That was unnecessary.
“Also don’t think I’m going to pretend I didn’t notice your canoodling at the studio today.” He informed me.
“A girl can dream, hey?” I sighed, which earned a laugh from Nick. “It was hardly canoodling.”
“Whatever it was, I saw it.”
“You saw nothing. He was just resting his hand on my knee, Nick.”
“And rubbing sexy little circles on it.” He replied feistily.
“Oh my god,” I groaned.
“Harry and Savannah sitting in a tree, K-” He began to sing loudly. I reached over and put a hand over his mouth, shushing him.
“Stop that!” I pulled my hand away and gave him a stern look. “It was just…Harry being Harry.”
“Hardly.” He muttered in a way that seemed he knew something I didn’t. I looked at him for a moment with a questioning stare. He then began to look as if he was having an inner battle with himself. I waited patiently to see if he was going to say something more.
“Harry fancies you!” He boomed.
My jaw dropped and I couldn’t get any words out because no. There was no way. I started to shake my head, but he just nodded.
“He’d kill me if he knew I told you, but he does. He’s too scared to admit it and do anything about it, but it’s true. I’m his best friend, I know.” He told me in a rush.
“I don’t b-believe that, no.” I stuttered out.
“Savannah. Believe me.” He looked at me seriously. “Look, it’s up to you what to do with this. You can make a move or you can wait to see if he gets the balls to. But if you fancy him too, which I think you do, go for it.”
I must have looked absolutely terrified as he sat there and talked to me. I wasn’t sure what my feelings were. I mean, yes, I knew I liked Harry, but would anything serious work between us? I was started to over think and work myself up, which Nick seemed to notice. I was scared.
“Hey, hey, don’t worry. I’m not saying you need to do anything today. I’m just cluing you in a bit. Don’t let this freak you out, please?” He begged. “I just wanted to help you guys.” I nodded to him, letting him know I understood.
Harry was finally making his way back over to us, so I took a deep breath to calm myself down. Nick excused himself to go play with the dogs and Harry laid across the blanket.
We sat in silence for a minute before Harry broke it. “They won’t post anything ‘til we’ve gone.” He spoke quietly.
“What?”
“The girls.” He turned his head to make eye contact. “I asked them not to post anything about us being here until we leave, that way more won’t show up.”
“Oh.” I nodded, knowing that he did so for my sake. He turned his head back and closed his eyes to soak in the sunlight. I leaned forward and placed a kiss to his cheek. “Thank you.” I whispered while I was close to his ear.
He turned his head so our faces were only centimeters apart, his eyes running all over my face and then locking our eyes.
“You’re welcome.”