Author's note
I know you've waited for this chapter past three weeks and I'm so sorry for that! I had no internet and I hope you'll forgive me.
(Ugh, and I really do hope that you won't be disappointed by the ending)
P.S. Oh, and I'm happy to tell you that I'm planning to write new, kind of short Vampire Weekend fan fiction. There's some link in this chapter to it, you can guess which vampire boy is going to be the main character in new fanfic c:
Third Person Omniscient
Alex could still see ambulance lights flashing under his eyelids, slowly fading into black spots as he finally decided to look around.
White.
All what his brains could bear to understand was white.
Just like brightness that struck him to make a sharp turn. Just like brightness he got lost in.
Next thing his head was filled by was a girl.
"Arabella" Name got onto his lips so easily and he just wanted to repeat it until it will stop being painfully uncouth. He felt like something was missing, horribly gone. There was fear in his heart stopping it every time he tried to take a breath. Alex leaned into his knees trying to remember anything what happened .
He could see her silhouette next to the club, her legs awkwardly crossed and hope popping up on her face synchronized with him taking off his helmet.
No, wait.
He wasn't wearing it. He was taking off his jacket, because she was cold.
Why did he forget his helmet?
It was so stupid, he never did that. His fingers got stuck on his head, with his lips still repeating same name and with a sickening taste in his mouth.
Alcohol.
It was his fault.
He felt his skin contacting with bandage on his head, before it started spinning again and next thing he felt was cool pillow underneath. I'm in hospital - finally his mind perceived and his body lifted up again.
In seconds he found himself in dark corridor without any direction where to go. He just followed the sound of people talking. Soon, he turned after the corner and saw four pairs of eyes piercing him through.
"Look who's up." Stumpy college type guy in sky blue outfit grumbled silently and turned around, going to do his job, in case he never liked being in touch with patients. His washed off clothing told Alex that he was definitely not a doctor.
"I'm sorry, but you'll need to get back to your bed, mister." Nurse gently tucked him by his sleeve. Hospital pyjama. I'm in hospital. Alex's slowed down brain had to repeat it just in case. Nurse pointed back to darkness he came from and his eyes desperately looked around to find something to get him more connected to reality. Immediately he got stuck on the clock. 6. AM, as the view behind window suggested.
"I will." He whispered too quietly for a nurse to hear. "Can you tell me..What day is today?"
"February 18th, now please, follow me back to your room." Her tone was urgent, eyes narrowed, exploring his face.
Three days. He was asleep three days.
In a corner of his eye he saw memories replaying. Miles. Miles sleeping on the couch in front of his bed. Monkeys with worried faces on. Some tubes connected to his arm. Voices, a lot of them. Mostly telling him to go back to sleep.
And he did, every time.
"Wait." He felt like he was falling out off self control and some pieces he could remember went through his mind. He didn't want to sink back to sleep again, even when he couldn't be wide awake. "Is Arabella Hunt here?"
"Only family members can visit a patient." Dark haired girl with tiny features, stuttered while sitting next to her computer, a receptionist, how Alex could get. She didn't even look at him. His brain started proceeding pretty well as fast as medication stopped working. He sighed with relief from knowing, that she's here. The worst he was hoping for didn't happen.
Guy which was apparently holding Alex by the hand cleared his throat . Brian, that was written in tiny letters on his card. "Haydie, he was in that accident with her. I guess he has some rights to visit her. Just look at him."
Last part sounded a bit insulting, but Alex couldn't feel offended when he probably looked like a shit.
"To end of the corridor and door by left." Ashes blond carefully punched his side, in amicably way telling him direction. Alex just nodded and with his melting legs took his way leading to Arabella.
---
White door wasn't closed carefully and Alex could see a little man sitting on foldable chair, his head low, probably tired. But his fingers were locked with lifeless hand on the bed.
".. Isn't this insane? I only saw people acting like this in movies. Talking like this to their friends while they can't hear them." Young musical genius shook his head with a light grin in his cheeks which disappeared immediately. "I miss you Ellie, we all do.. If only you saw Ezra's face when he heard what happened. He needs you. I've never seen him so happy because of girl before you."
Alex's fingers slid away from door knob and he just leaned to the closest wall listening to gentle voice inside the room.
Rostam rubbed his face, still hoping that her fingers will compress his any moment. It was his turn to take care of her, while Ezra was in hotel, trying to get some rest. They spent past days here, in hospital, waiting for Arabella to wake up after surgery. Her reaction to anesthesia was poor, and nobody was really sure when will she rouse. No matter how many times his mind pretended to feel her fingers moving in his palm, it didn't happen.
"He's just going insane without you. He's scared. We all were severely overwhelmed by the thought of losing you. CT got into his overprotective brother mood, Baio acts like a worried European dad, and me, well I'm that gay best friend hardly holding down the tears." Rostam stood up, trying to stretch his limbs after sitting for too long. He couldn't complain, he was happy that Ezra finally took a time out from this silent madness which was happening here, in this little white room. In many ways it reminded of asylum, all that dimness mixed with some kind of melancholy was the worst combination possible in the state they were living in.
"Oh Ellie. You couldn't even imagine the things you're doing to him. Isn't he the one who should be telling you this?"
Alex clenched his joints, then cupped his head full-filled by pain. When tingling lightened, he kept listening.
"..You're his portable New York. You're his home. A person, who can shut down his controversial mind for as long as he needs.. It should be amazing to be so loved."
Rostam sighed leaning into window, watching palm waving at him on the side of the street. Mornings like this was something that made his stomach twist. He rubbed back of his neck, getting back to his place.
His voice broke down. He tried to say a word, but it just got stuck there. He felt tragically sad flooded by sudden memories. It made him miss Arabella even more, when in fact he felt like he could tell her anything. "I wish I.. There's always some things that are held inside for so long you forget them until they get back, threatening to explode. I'm a time bomb, but this is not the day I'm going to let that thing out, Ellie. "
Alex knew so well what Rostam had in mind. He was a time bomb himself. People always said he was well grounded, and now everything just slipped away. He always wanted to do something crazy, to make a turn, but this might have been too much. Or maybe, after all, it was perfectly enough.
Rostam's hand lay back down on hers, with his eyes exploring her not even pale, but unnaturally white face with breathing mask on. During accident broken rib stabbed her lung, but in doctor's words - she got into hospital just in time. Her head trauma was soft, a huge bruise on the corner of her forehead was the only reminder of it. She just lay there. So peaceful. Just like dead. Like an empty shell. Rostam shook his head. In this lifeless body was a fascinating mind which was simply destined to meet his best friend.
"Arabella Hunt, I hope you didn't hear any of my nonsenses, but I hope you will hear this. Ezra loves you and I know, you love him. It was meant to be." His lips contacted with her warm cheek, a free hand moved hair away. "Please, wake up."
Alex's legs now barely kept him still, and he shook like a little kid from crying. He wanted to turn around and go away. Just go, until his face will touch the ground. He wanted to sprawl down there, he didn't want to ever wake up. Sore ache grew in his chest, like his heart just stopped beating with hers. It stopped keeping on the beat.
He was letting go.
It wasn't like he was surrendering, he just started to understand.
He loved her. Of course, he did.. But does it mean that he did it right? His affection to Arabella made him want her to be admired the way only Ezra could love her - sincerely. The one who's writing right words about love is not always the same who finds the right way to love. Arabella, well, even Stephanie was sent to show it to him. He had so much to learn.
Alex stopped wanting to go backwards, to never meet her at that pub. He decided to move on.
----
Feather-light sneakers stepped on pale blue floor tiles, that tall twitter prince you all know so well headed in the dark corridor with anticipation. He missed seeing Arabella's face. Being in the same room. Even when it was driving him insane. He saw a dark figure next to the door, standing calmly by the wall. He just stood, not even reacting to Ezra's footsteps. When the figure moved, he finally recognized a boy from the shadows.
"You could've killed her." A voice made Alex flinch and only now he saw Ezra stomping the floor with his foot in front of him. Arms crossed on his chest, jaw strictly held. He was angry, there was no doubt.
"I'm sorry." Alex didn't know other words for this, although he was the one who's considered as lyrical genius.
Ezra tramped in his place, suddenly stopping with his fist straining and next thing Alex felt was himself stepping back with heat filling up his nose and something wet touching his hand. Blood. Metallic taste and smell of salt brought back the headache and he cupped his head with red palms.
"Crap." Ezra murmured like he was apologizing for his own action and tapped Alex's back with shaking fingers. "I'm just so desperate, you can't even imagine.."
"If accident didn't hurt you, Ezra will." Sarcastic retort came from behind Ezra, and Alex couldn't see the one who was talking because of his height, but he heard that voice not so long ago. Rostam was never the tallest guy. Even when Alex was supposed to be angry he just giggled tasting his own blood. He wiped it away, staring down at the drops on the blue floor.
"Ezra?"
Husky voice interrupted the silence, but none of them reacted properly. Alex still watched his bloodstained palms, Rostam's eyes were stuck on Ezra, which suddenly fliched as the voice repeated. "Ezra?"
Alex lifted up his head feeling like it was a ghost calling some stranger standing in front of him. He watched how Ezra and Rostam run into Arabella's room, while he still heard her voice resonating in his head. He heard her voice telling his name in the same way every morning they had together. But he just let it go.
----
He didn't follow them. Everything he saw was dropped in slow motion as he stridden pass opened door, inside he saw Ezra leaning to kiss Arabella's forehead. She watched her lover with a corners of her lips slightly up and Rostam squeezed her fingers softly. Alex went his way back from where he came, stopping next to receptionist.
"I didn't know that a girl in coma can do such a thing." Dark haired girl which he met before smiled, pointing at his face.
"It was her boyfriend." Alex smiled with relief, finally a real relief filling his chest. "And she woke up."
"Fiance. I guess you wanted to say fiance. Or at least that's just a thing he said to me." She rolled her eyes. "Don't be angry on him. It's a natural reaction to what happened. He needs to blame someone."
Fiance? Alex didn't care if Ezra lied just to be able to visit her. He would've done the same.
"Come, let me fix you." Girl smiled at him, taking first aid kit from under the desk, getting ready to clean blood from his face and check if his nose was broken. "But you know, you really deserved this. Driving drunk.."
His eyes explored her tiny face, her hair pulled into ponytail, dark eyelashes surrounding eyes color like black treacle. Bags under her eyes told him, that she had a night shift. Maybe a few of them in a row, and he just felt sorry for her.
It wasn't the first time he saw this face. He felt something warm hitting into his chest, a soft flashback, a sharp pen against his skin, a girl which watched him spilling his guts out.
"You told me not to do that." He said under his breath, as her hand touched his cheek with cotton cleaning red stains. "I should've listened to you, Hayden."
She stood still with her arm still up, but somewhere away from his face.
"I don't know what are you talking about." Her face painted on with bright pink, she bit her lip. He remembered.
"You're a girl from the bar. The one I wasn't supposed to remember. Funny how not taking your advice seriously made us meet again." He smiled with a shade of arrogance, and pain crossed his temples again, making him lean into his knees.
"Let me walk you back to your bed, Alex." She whispered, taking him by his arm and wrapping it around her own shoulders as support. Pain started fading again, just black spots appeared in the view.
It was 7AM and he wasn't the same Alex he was at 6AM. He wasn't the same band guy he was at 3AM once. He wasn't the same boy from High Green Sheffield. However, not being who you were doesn't mean being worse. Sometimes, it's just a way to start over.
He lay down in his bed, shrouding himself under white sheets. He watched Hayden fixing her uniform and turning around to leave. In his mind, he saw Arabella in her hospital bed surrounded by people that will take a better care of her than he could ever do. He only wanted to hide his face in soft pillow and sleep for forever, but despite his own wishes there was something he needed more.
Hayden opened the door as Alex whispered "Please, stay."