Last night, a house in Westminster burned down to the ground, killing a family of three. The fire is not being treated as suspicious, but we will keep you updated.
Jim smiled, laying his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "We did it, Tiger." He smiled. Sebastian held him close, not knowing what his boss was feeling. Jim wasn't the type of man to often show his feelings.
"How you feeling, Jim?" Seb asked.
"Pretty good, Sebs. I'm just thinking, that's all. I really didn't wanna hurt my mum. She was only with my dad 'cause he was manipulative. She didn't wanna be with him, she told me. She was too scared to leave him, and she was never bad to me. When she kicked me out, she was too scared to disagree with dad. I really didn't wanna kill her, but the plan wouldn't have worked otherwise. And she would never have forgiven me for killing her son."
"Damn. Well at least she's not alive to deal with the pain of losing her family and being manipulated by your dad anymore."
"Thanks, 'Bastian. I needed to hear something like that."
"I think we should just stay in today." Seb suggested.
"Oh for fuck sake!" Jim shouted. Seb looked up at the TV, watching as they saw Sherlock bloody Holmes investigating the scene of the fire. "Sorry, Seb. I don't think we should stay in. I think we should put a stop to Sherlock."
"Whatever makes you happy, boss. I just want you to be happy."
"You mean a lot to me." Jim stated. Seb smiled. That was the closest to saying he loved Seb that Jim would get. Deep down, he knew he loved Sebastian, he just couldn't bring himself to say it. Saying it would just make him feel weak.
"What do you want to do?" Jim asked.
Seb shrugged. He was so used to doing whatever Jim wanted him to, that he didn't know how to make his own mind up anymore. He liked Jim being the boss. He wasn't sure how to make choices anymore.
"Let's play with Sherlock." Seb smiled, knowing it would make Jim happy.
"Okay, well I have an idea!" Jim smirked. "I took those shoes from my parents house, remember?"
"What the fuck do shoes have to do with this?" Sebastian asked, genuinely confused.
"Ah, storytime!" Jim laughed. "Right, so when I was thirteen, there was a boy at school, Carl, who was a complete arsehole. He would constantly make fun of me for coming from a poorer family, and for not being athletic. He was a dick. He was on the swim team, and I had an idea one day. I decided to put botulinum toxin in his eczema cream. So then he went swimming. And just so happened to have a seizure and drown. I kept his shoes."
"Damn. You killed someone when you were thirteen?"
"Yes. That's not the important part."
"Sorry. Carry on. Why did you keep his shoes?" Seb mumbled, not wanting to tell Jim that he thought keeping the shoes was messed up.
"Because they were the one thing little Carl loved more than anything."
"So how are the shoes gonna help?"
"Because I know Sherlock will be interested. He'll play along, just watch, Tiger."
"Okay, so have you got a plan?"
"Yes. We're going to put the shoes in the downstairs flat at 221 Baker Street. And then we're going to send him a photo, and wait." Jim said, not telling Seb about the other part of the plan. He didn't want to tell him about the hostages he planned on taking, and the explosives he planned on decking them out in. He knew Sebastian would think it was fucked up.
"That sounds good."
"Yeah. Seb, can you legally drive? I know you drove us to my parents place, but do you have a license?"
"Yeah."
"That's cool. You know, I never learned. Didn't have the time or money, and now I do there's no point. I have drivers now. And I have you. Can you imagine though?"
"Imagine what, boss?"
"Me, learning to drive. I'd act like I knew everything and probably piss the instructor off to the point he makes me crash." Jim smiled and both men laughed. "Yeah, but what I meant by can you drive is can you drive us to Baker Street?"
"Of course I can."
"Okay, cool. Are you ready to leave?"
Seb nodded and grabbed his gun, a Browning L9A1, and hid it in his jeans. He didn't know if he'd need it, but he'd rather have it. Jim distracted Seb throughout the whole journey, causing Seb to almost crash at one point. Seb couldn't blame him though. He knew Jim was just excited. He knew Jim, and how being bored was the worst thing for Jim.
Once the shoes were put in the bottom flat, Jim turned to Sebastian, a giant grin plastered on his face. He grabbed his lover's hand, dragging him to the door.
"Sebby, did you see how I picked that lock?" He giggled.
"Yes, boss. Remarkable." Seb smiled, shaking his head. "I gotta admit, you're good at it."
"What, picking locks?"
"Crime, in general. Like you're good at crime."
"Well I do like to think of myself as a criminal mastermind." He replied, both men laughing. "Can we go do something else?"
"What do you have in mind, boss?'
"I don't know yet, Tiger. Let's just see where today takes us."
"Alright. I like that idea. I love you, Jim." Seb smiled.
"Yeah." Jim mumbled in response.
Sebastian said nothing, but the smile on his face was replaced by a scowl. He walked away from Jim, leaving him standing in Baker Street all alone. He was more hurt than angry. If Jim didn't love him, then he could just fucking say.
Seb was so hurt. Deep down he'd been scared that Jim was just messing with him, and now he had confirmation. And if Jim didn't love him, then he didn't have to listen to anything him had said. So Seb took the last £50 note out of his pocket and managed to get a bag of cocaine off of an old man. He got a cab back to he and Jim's house.
Jim wasn't there when Sebastian got in, not that Seb was expecting it. He'd probably found something better to do. So Seb tipped a line of cocaine onto the table and sniffed up the line of white powder. Then another line. It had been about three years since he'd got clean of drugs, and now this. He wasn't even mad at himself. He'd known it would only be a matter of time before he started to use them again. He used to take whatever he could get his hands on, and he knew it would go back to that. He was stupid to think being sober would last. He felt stupid to think that Jim had loved him, too.
Jim was walking. He didn't really care where he was walking to, or how long he would be gone. He knew to give Sebastian space when he was like this, even though Jim knew he had caused this problem. He was trying to think of ways to make it up to Seb, but nothing seemed good enough.
When Jim finally got home, Seb was slouched on the sofa, drinking his ninth bottle of beer. Jim tried to find the right words, but he couldn't. He didn't know how to tell the blue eyed man that he was completely in love with him.
"Sebastian, I-"
"Save it you selfish fucking bastard!" Seb shouted, throwing one of the empty bottles at Jim. The bottle hit the wall and smashed, glass going all over the white carpet.
"Seb, please?"
"Get out! Just get the fuck out, alright? Why did you decide to fuck with me like this?" Seb screamed, tears falling from his eyes.
"It's not like that!" Jim tried to defend himself.
"Get the fuck out!" Seb stood up, grabbing Jim by the arm and dragging him to the door. Jim didn't try to fight it anymore, or argue that it was actually his house. He just allowed it, because he knew he was wrong, and he'd hurt the love of his life. He knew he'd fucked up.
Then Sebastian fell. No words, nothing. He just fell. Jim stopped, scared, and then dropped down next to Sebastian. He shook the older man, trying to get a response. Seb's eyes were half open, scaring the absolute shit out of Jim. He didn't know what was going on, until he saw how Seb had white powder underneath his nose.
"You fucking idiot!" Jim snapped. "You called me a selfish bastard? Fucking look at yourself, Sebastian Moran. Take a good hard look in the mirror. You want me to leave? Fine."
Jim took Sebastian's leather jacket and walked out of the front door. He wasn't going to be around drugs. He'd had enough of people on drugs as a kid. His parents were always high on something or the other, and look how they turned out. If Seb was going to be like that, then Jim decided he could have the house and everything in it. Now he had nowhere to stay for the night, and he realised he probably shouldn't have left Sebastian in the state he was in. He didn't want to go back, yet he told himself it was for the best.
Seb was still laying on the floor when Jim got back. Jim picked him up and struggled to the sofa with him. He set his lover down, laying next to him. Jim wasn't sure what to do, so he just laid there, listening to Seb's slowed heartbeat. Jim let himself cry. He'd allow being weak, just this once.
"Jim..." Seb murmured. "M'sorry for this."
"It's okay, Tiger." Jim reassured him.
"No it's not."
"I was scared." Jim admitted, biting his lip nervously. "I didn't want to say it back, because I was scared. I've never told anyone those three words before. I thought saying it would make me seem weak. I'm sorry, Sebastian. You're the best thing that ever happened to me in my shitty life. I... Seb. Fuck. I love you."
Seb smiled. "I love you too."
"Great. Now, sleep the drugs off so we can talk properly when you wake up."
"I was three years clean."
"It's okay, you can start over. Everyone messes up once in a while."
"You don't."
"Yes I do. My second murder was sloppy. I didn't do it right, I stabbed him but he didn't die. He lived and I had to get someone to fix it for me. Even I mess up, Tiger."
Four hours later, Sebastian was awake and sober. He laid his head in Jim's lap, letting Jim mindlessly stroke his hair. He felt bad about the previous events of the day. He felt like he'd been stupid. He remembered what Jim had said about being too scared to tell Seb that he loved him. And now Sebastian felt like this idiot.
"Seb?" Jim's voice cracked as he spoke. "I'm so sorry. I know being scared is a terrible excuse for not saying I love you. I should have just said it. But I couldn't. My parents said they loved each other, but they ended up doing drugs and cheating on each other every week. So I was scared, because that's how I saw love. I didn't want us to be like that."
"We're better." Seb replied. "We can make our own definition of love, one that's better than how you've seen it. We're not them. You're not your parents. You know I love you, and I know you love me. So let's do this our way."
A/N- sorry this took so long, I was like dead
~Azäzel