chapter six: porcelain
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"YOU SHOULD GET to school Caroline, you'll be late.", Gilbert looked at his sister, who was sat on a bale of hay in the corner of the barn, as he continued to brush their horse.
Caroline humphed, moving her hand that was previously on her lap to fold it into a fist under her chin, "So will you.
Her brother sighed and began to brush the horse a bit firmer now. It was almost as if she could sense his stress and frustration radiating throughout the barn. She couldn't understand what her brother was feeling and she knew that. Caroline would be able to move on eventually and find someone who makes her happy again but Gilbert would be forced to become the man of the house. He would be forced to grow up years before he should have had to. He didn't deserve that. Nobody does.
Caroline sighed, breaking the silence of the barn, as she stood up slowly. When Gilbert stopped brushing, he just stood still. She could've sworn she heard a small sob as she got closer to her brother. Her hand touched his shoulder gently, causing him to jump, then relax as he closed his eyes. Caroline wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders and rested her head against his upper back.
"It's going to be okay, Gil.", she whispered but she didn't believe it.
He didn't reply, so the twins just stood there. In the cold, holding one another. They didn't know it yet, but this feeling of security, the feeling of knowing that the other would always be around, wasn't going to last much longer.
Gilbert took in a breath and turned around, holding Caroline's smaller hand in his, "Go on to school Care, we'll be fine."
She looked into his eyes, searching for any sense of doubt, anything that convinced her she should stay. There was nothing there, just Gilbert and his small, probably forced, smile. Caroline reached down for her bag and placed it around her shoulders. She raised up onto her tip toes and gave her brother a kiss on the cheek before running off into the snow. The snow was barely broken at all, it was still pristine and untouched.
So she broke it herself.
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Caroline slowly opened the door, hoping that Mr.Phillips would be engrossed in a lesson and wouldn't notice her coming in an hour late. However, her cover was blown when all heads in the class turned to her as the door was slammed shut by the wind. A cringe rippled through her body and she froze for a second. Here we go, she thought as Mr.Phillips set his chalk down and made firm eye contact.
"You're a tad late, Miss Blythe.", he said, a condescending tone evident in his speech as he stared her down.
Caroline didn't waver under his gaze and shifted her weight to her left side, "Am I really? I had no idea."
Small chuckles echoed through the room as the teacher began to take a few more steps toward her, "Do you have an excuse for being an hour late?"
"Does my father being on his death bed work for you? Or do I need to think of something else?", her tone grew from sarcastic to serious in a few short words, causing the laughter to die down and for sympathetic glances to be cast toward her.
Mr.Phillips coughed and rubbed at the back of his neck, "That won't be necessary Miss Blythe, please take your seat."
She gave him a forced smile before turning to where she and Ruby sat together but, it wasn't Ruby sat in the chair beside hers. It was Anne, who didn't look too happy about the rearrangement. Caroline assumed it was because she was separated from Diana, who also looked distraught. With her things now set on the table, she pulled out her slate and piece of chalk, glancing at Anne every so often to make sure that the girl hadn't broken down into tears. Anne was a strong girl, she knew, but it was like she was super-human when she was with Diana.
Mr.Phillips continued his lesson and as Caroline was writing down the problem on the board, she saw Anne's lip quiver out of the corner of her eye. Glancing up to make sure their teacher was still turned around, she moved her hand, hitting in on random objects before finally finding Anne's. Anne was still for a moment, then gripped her hand like her life depended on it, bowing her head to make sure nobody else saw her cry.
The two stayed like that for about another hour, their hands locked together under the desk, while their other hand was writing furiously to try and figure out the equations. Caroline had gotten six out of the thirteen they were given incorrect, which had dampened her spirits slightly. No matter how hard she tried at the subject, it had always confused her. The numbers were bad enough but she had heard from her father that eventually they threw letters into the mix. What's the point of that?
Mr.Phillips tossed his chalk onto his desk, "Go eat."
He retreated into his office, as he always seemed to do lately after he glanced at Prissy, while the students began to stand up and the volume began to increase dramatically. Anne released Caroline's hand but gave her a thankful look before nearly knocking her chair down as she made her way to Diana. Ruby sat down beside her, a bright smile on her face.
"It's awful that we aren't able to sit together anymore Caroline. Caroline?", Ruby looked closer at her best friend, who seemed to have zoned out as she kept gazing out the window.
Caroline may have mentioned it so carelessly earlier but it hadn't really smacked her in the face until now. She felt her throat close up and her eyes begin to fill with tears as she imagined her father being buried under the snow which covered Avonlea. They weren't ready, they would never be. Caroline had tried to be brave, she really had, but she couldn't take it anymore. A light sob escaped her mouth as she covered it with her left hand. Ruby tensed but the lunged for Caroline's hand, trying to calm her.
It was no use as she pulled her hand away and stood up forcefully, knocking her chair onto the floor behind her. All eyes which were in the room turned in her direction, the room growing scarily still and silent all at once.
"What?", Caroline breathed out as she looked around the classroom at the stares held on her.
She grabbed her books, shoving them tightly into her chest before running out of the schoolhouse. Ruby was calling for her, the girl's mind racing about what to do next. She wanted to run after Caroline, to grab her coat and follow her wherever she went but she knew it was not what Caroline would want. As much as it hurt Ruby to hear her best friend's sobs echo through the field as she ran off, she would want to be alone. So Ruby closed the door.
Caroline had found a spot underneath a tree to sit. The tears were gone, as were her splotchy cheeks and red eyes. She didn't know how long it had been, she didn't know if the crying had helped or even where she was really. Nothing seemed to matter. Nothing except spending her time with her father.
It was all about him now, no matter how long he had left. So Caroline picked up her items, stuffed them into her bag and began to jog in the direction which she hoped her house was.
She had managed to find her way back home, ignoring both Gilbert and the nurse's questions as she ran into the house, discarding her books on the table and opening her father's door. He was asleep. His chest was rising and falling steadily as a few more tears begin to slide down her cheeks. He's okay, she repeated, he's okay. Taking a seat beside his bed, she wrapped his hand in hers as she laid her head down on his mattress. He's okay.
A knock on the door broke Caroline out of her sleep and she sat up slowly, realizing that she wasn't in her fathers room anymore, but tucked into her bed. She smiled, thank you Gil. Brushing off her dress, she made her way into the kitchen, startled to see that her father was nearly outside as he spoke to someone whom she couldn't quite see.
"Father! What on earth are doing out of bed?", she ducked under his arm, bracing herself for the chill she would receive.
Her dad laughed, a real laugh, something she hadn't hear him do in a while, "Oh you and your brother, always looking out for me."
He pulled her into his side, messing up her hair, to which she responded with a groan, "Dad!"
Caroline looked to see Anne, standing awkwardly, as she held books in her hand. She gave her a smile, which was returned.
"Dad? What're you doing, you shouldn't be walking.", Gilbert dumped his pile of wood onto the porch and made his way to Caroline and his father.
"Like I said, they worry too much. This young lady has urgent business, with you. Both of you, that is. But I'm sure your brother can handle it himself, Caroline, would you mind helping me into bed?", their father looked at Gilbert first, then Anne, then Caroline, who nodded and wrapped her arm around her father's waist.
"Goodbye Anne, and thank you.", she turned her head and smiled at the red-head but Anne's eyes were trained on Gilbert, who was also looking at her.
Caroline made a face, one filled with both knowledge and confusion at the same time. They'd be cute together. Her father shut the door behind them with his left foot while Caroline opened his bedroom door, helping him in ever so slightly. Once he was in bed, Johnathan caught his daughter's wrist and pulled her down slightly, to press a kiss on her forehead.
"Anne told me that you ran out of school today, crying. At first I didn't believe it, you don't cry for anything. Except that one time that Gilbert killed your pet ladybug when you were six.", he started to laugh and so did she.
He began coughing so Caroline lifted his head up gently, fluffing his pillow to give him more height, and when he stopped, he looked to her again, "I don't want you to worry about me, Caroline. You need to be there for your brother, he needs you more than you know my dear. More than you're going to need him."
She nodded, holding his hand a bit tighter as he started to close his eyes, "Dad?"
"I am very tired dear, you go on. Help your brother.", he turned his head to the left, eyes closed as he breathed in deeply.
"Yes father.", she gently stroked his forehead before leaving his bedroom to find Gilbert sitting at the dining table.
Caroline sat across from him, giving him a look which Gilbert couldn't quite decipher, "What?"
She smiled and tilted her head, "So, Anne's lovely isn't she?"
Gilbert chocked on his cup of water, which made Caroline laugh hard as he coughed, hitting himself in the chest. He took his cup and splashed whatever water was left in it at his sister, hitting her directly in the face. She gasped, holding her hands up but keeping her eyes closed.
"You simp!", she shouted as Gilbert started laughing too.
Happiness. Such a long word for something so short.
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Caroline handed her father his cup of tea, being careful not to burn herself on the hot ceramic material, "Here you are, dad."
He took it from her graciously, giving her the biggest smile he could muster, "Thank you, my dear."
Her dad looked out the opened window across from his bed, his gaze being caught on Gilbert, who was brushing the horses, again. He glanced at his daughter, who was smiling at him, waiting for him to say something. His heart tightened in his chest as he looked at her.
"Wh-why don't you go help your brother with the horses? Bring him some tea of his own, he looks cold.", Johnathan watched his daughter's facial expressions change.
Oh, how she reminded him of her mother. So vibrant, fully of energy but also full of comebacks and one-liners. How he loved her so.
Caroline nodded, "Sounds good, I will see you when I get back in."
She started to walk out the door when her father called her back, "Caroline?"
"Yes dad?", she held an expectant look on her face, as her left hand reached for her bag.
He looked at her, taking in each inch of her face which resembled her mother, "I love you."
Her face changed, now it was full of confusion with a touch of worry as she leaned in and kissed his cheek, "I love you too dad."
She ran out the door, shutting it behind her as the cold welcomed her, feeling like an old friend now.
Maybe, just maybe, if she hadn't ran so fast, she would've heard the teacup shatter.
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A/N: .......a simp is another word for idiot which was used in 1908. Next chapter is filled with heartbreak, tears and angst. Sorry in advance.
Questions of the Chapter:
Caroline's relationship with Gilbert or her relationship with her father?
Why do you think that Johnathan said Gilbert would need Caroline more than she needs him?