Deidara's POV
Tobi is annoying, such an annoyance in my life. It's only been in an hour since his arrival and I'm losing hope fast, it's even worse than that "Is This Loss?" meme.
He's always going "DEIDARA-SENPAI THIS, DEIDARA-SENPAI THAT", a constant "SENPAIIII" in his whiny childish voice down every hall I go. I swear Danna is looking down on me with that emotionless puppet look from above, definitely putting shame upon me.
Why won't he die by being sacrificed to Jashin, hmm?
Or even get burned to death with Itachi's amaterasu?
What pisses me off his goddamn mask! We all have faces and we're supposed to show them so we can be recognized by our partner, un!
Great, now I sound all bratty and shit.
Danna used to call me 'brat'..
Pull yourself together Deidara, you are officially over Sasori as of today. No more time shall be given towards the scorpian since he didn't ever care about you.
Geez, I'm a mess.
Now that I think about it, I think Tobi used to hang out with Zetsu originally, right? Maybe he knows a thing or two about Tobi and why he hides his face..
I stumble out of my room and down the stairs, I look up and see Zetsu. The guy I needed to see. I rush up to the venus-flytrap looking creature and take a seat next to him.
"Oi Zetsu, tell me EVERYTHING I need to know about Tobi, un.", I demand the black-white plant-like creature as he stares at me awkwardly.
Wow. I never put much thought into this but he's black, white and asian (Japanese to be exact). Zetsu really be breaking stereotypes, un.
"Why would you want to know Deidara?", the black-half of Zetsu asks. I shrug and cross my arms over my chest.
"I just want to know more about him and why he acts like a fucking child, un."
"Well, Tobi..", White Zetsu begins, he stops to think for a moment. "He's.. uhh.. An overly excited person."
"Weird, a mental four year old."
"I mean not all that bad.. He likes dango, dango and making new friends."
"That's complete bullshit, dango is everything."
"There are a few things you shouldn't know but I'm sure he'll tell you eventually.", white half of Zetsu says lastly. "Asides, it looks like he trusts you so his facade will break."
Facade..? What facade?
"Dango.. Food."
"Great, now we're hungry.", Zetsu sighed as he walked away. "Sorry Dei."
"Uh.. Thanks Zetsu, un. I guess.", I mumble before walking back up the stairs.
Well, he wasn't any help. But a few things I shouldn't know about that guy? What is there to hide asides his face, we share everything from embarrassing moments to weird people we've dated in this organization..
Ah, whatever, I'll find out someday.
"Deidara-senpai!!", Tobi's obnoxious voice rings through my ears, I twitch and turn to face him.
"Yes Tobi, un?", I say as I force a smile.
"We've got a mission!!!"
"Already, hm?", I reply but the only thing I could think of was the 'facade' Zetsu mentioned. "That's - uh - great to hear Tobi, un."
"Pein-sama wants us downstairs immediately!!", Tobi lets out a high pitched squeal and dashes down the stairs. He trips and tumbles down, he jumps back up and continues to run. "If he wants us down immediately, it must be VERY important senpai!!! SO HURRY UPUPUPUPUP!!!!"
"What the fuck was that all about?! I got some high pitched ringing in my ears now.", Hidan says as he walks up to me from behind. I glance over to him and let out a shrug.
"Don't worry about it Hidan-san, un. It's just Tobi being Tobi.", I say.
"Aight, I understand. Just tell me if he does some crazy shit to you Dei-chan, I'll be there to sacrafice his ass for you.", Hidan adds on as he gives me a wink.
I laugh off his joke and the Jashinist smiles. "Yeah yeah Hidan-san, I can't wait for that day."
I wave him goodbye as he watches me walk down the stairs. I make my way to Pein-sama's office and gently close the door once I step in.
"Hey Pein-sama, hey Konan-chan. You called, un?", I say with a small smile. I hope they wouldn't be able to tell that I'm craving death.
"Ah yes, Deidara. We've been waiting.", Pein starts off with an impatient look on his face. I felt an invisible 'almighty push' knock the wind out of me.
"Sorry, un. I was caught up in a conversation with Hidan-san. You know how much of a chatterbox he is, hm.", I answer jokingly.
"That's alright, you're forgiven.", Konan says.
Everyone thank god for Konan-chan, she's an angel and we all love her.
"Here is the task we want you and Tobi to do.", she continues as she hands over a folded sheet of paper.
I mumble a quiet thanks before taking the sheet. I open it and I felt my soul sink into despair as Tobi jumps around the room with glee.
"Grocery shopping, un.", I say. I glance up at the leaders before slamming my fists onto Pein's desk. "FREAKING GROCERY SHOPPING?!! DO YOU TAKE ME AND MY NINJUTSU AS A JOKE?!!"
"What? We're out of food after Zetsu ate it all.", Lord Pein explains. "Asides, it's good practice for Tobi."
"THEN SEND HIM ALONE, HM!", Tobi looks at me and tilts his head innocently. "IT'S NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HIM!"
"That's when you're wrong senpai.", Tobi interrupts as he walks towards me.
"Shut your fucking mouth, un.", I hiss.
I really don't want to hear his crap, un.
"You should at least hear Tobi out. Tobi is your partner, right?", he pauses to think. "Well then, since Tobi would be considered a 'noob', Senpai should be the one to show Tobi the way of Akatsuki, right?"
I twitch, the boy is acting smart.
"SHUT UP, WOULD YA, UN?!", I scream. "DON'T PLAY SMART WITH ME TOBI!! SENPAI THIS, SENPAI THAT, YOU'RE STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING. I-"
"That's enough Deidara.", the lord says low. "Konan, get me my coffee and you are both dismissed."
"I.. I.. un.."
What kind of shit is this, un?!
After being dismissed, Tobi and I walk out of the office room. The orange-masked lollipop skips out happily and out the door that led to the outside world.
"Ne Senpai? Which store do we go to?", Tobi asks out of curiosity.
"The first and cheapest one, Kakuzu hates spending money.", I reply as calmly as I could. I look down to my mouths as they continue to chew the clay I gave them.
When we get out of the base, a fresh breeze of air greets me, it's been a while since I last went out. Tobi starts to jump up in down in excitement as he began to knock on the bark of the trees and sing joyfully.
What has he been taking?
Cause I want the stuff he's on.
If he's keeping this act to numb the pain, then I should too.
I summon a clay bird. It's not my best work (as Sasori would say) but it'll do, un.
Tobi quickly flings back in position and looks up in amazement.
"Wow Senpai!", he exclaims with stars in his only visible eye, appearing at different angles of my masterpiece. "Did you create this?!!"
"Yes I did, un.", I answer. "We'll be taking this to get to the store, hm."
"WOOOOWWW, SENPAI! YOU'RE REALLY COOL!"
"Cool?", I scoff. "I'm hella talented. Get on Tobi, we're going shopping."
And so we flew high up in the sky, I guess Tobi isn't so bad after all, praising me and all that. At least someone actually appreciates my art instead of insulting it like a certain someone.