God... every day it gets so much worse
Than the one before.
I can't even tell when I'm dreaming anymore...or if I'm awake.
To replay the look in your eyes,
And hearing your voice repeat those
words like a song....
To make me feel wanted in a way.
God I feel so pathetic!
I can't even tell you how I feel
Without my tongue buckling
And my mind racing back to
My past mistakes.
The lies...
I can't do anything about how
I want to act around you.
When it's just us and the four walls,
Keep us shielded away from
everything bad in our lives.
For the matter of minutes before
I seem to drive you away.
My strange connotation...
And I realize I distance myself....
Because I'm too afraid
Of getting attached to you...
To waking up one day with that message,
Or empty space between me and
Where you used to be too.
That ring of annoyance, telling me that you're gone.
If you happen to find someone...
Just text me your goodbyes...
I dont want the last face you see,
My puffy eyes and breaking smile.
God. Don't listen to me.
Babbling on like a fucking bitch,
I really need to shut my mouth before
You take this into the wrong context.
To see the crack behind my eye,
Of the monster who stays hidden-
Behind my pupils , watching, learning
Waiting to come out and ruin yet
Another great thing in my life
I pray will stay.
I'm pathetic