Elena
The return to school brought more complications than I cared to talk about. The day before my return, I received a package that had a pair of black stilettos in it. I thought maybe it was a late Christmas gift. I couldn’t think of who sent it, because everyone who knows me knows that I don’t wear heels often. And the only time I’ve worn black stilettos was Sophomore year, at a party that I was mistakenly invited to, and should have never attended. I put them in the back of my closet and the back of my mind as I got ready for bed. A few minutes later, Mom came into my room.
“Did you do your chores today?” she asked, just getting home from a very long day at work.
“Yes” I answered, suddenly not having the energy to talk.
“Did you happen to move my very expensive bottles of wine, imported from Italy might I remind you?” she asked, sounding accusatory without even knowing one detail.
“No, I didn’t even know you had those. But I mean..maybe it’s better that they’re gone, you don’t need so much-” I started to say quietly, but she shut me up with a look that I was all too familiar with. That look was one she got right before she would hit me.
“I mean...I’m sure they’re around here somewhere,” I said, and turned my back to her under the covers.
“They better be,” she threatened, and closed the door on her way out. I fell asleep wishing and hoping and praying that this wasn’t the start of another spiral.
When I woke up the next morning, I heard Mom downstairs cooking breakfast. I went downstairs to see that she had indeed poured herself a drink of the adult kind. I had stayed quiet about this before, but I was really starting to find my voice. And I wanted her to know that I’m getting more than upset.
“Alcohol before seven in the morning?” I asked.
“Don’t get an attitude with me Elena. I had a tough day yesterday,” she said.
“You seem to have a tough day everyday,” I said.
“Well that’s the life of a successful advertising executive,” she said absentmindedly as she burned the bacon.
“You know, some people take a hot bath or get a massage when they have a tough day, they don’t drink the entire contents of a vodka bottle,” I snapped.
“That’s enough!” she yelled, throwing a glass plate on the floor. The crash was deafening, and echoed around the house. It was dead silent. “Look what you made me do!”
“I’m sorry,” I said as I tried to help her clean up.
“Just get ready for school, I don’t need you,” she snapped.
She might not have realized what she said, but it still hurt. As I dressed in a warm sweater and black skinny jeans, I thought that I didn’t need her either. I looked at my wrists, wishing to make another scar. I thought about how...inviting it would be. How it would almost look...attractive to make another mark. But I shook those thoughts from my mind as I got in my car and drove to school. The minute I parked, I spotted Calum, and I ran up behind him and covered his eyes.
“Elena! There’s snow and ice out here, you could have killed me!” he laughed, turning around and bringing me closer to him. Our lips almost touched again, and for a moment, we were both silent, and I knew we were thinking the same thing.
“I’m sorry,” I said, awkwardly pulling away.
“No, it’s my fault,” Calum said.
I wondered how long we could keep going on like this. It’s only been a couple days, and I’m already overwhelmed by the desire to just kiss him and tell him that I don’t care anymore. But taking things to the next level would open doors that I wanted to stay closed, at least for now.
“How’s your morning so far?” he asked.
“Not that great. Mom kind of went off on me because I finally had the courage to confront her about her drinking,” I said.
“Well at least you confronted her! You’re doing good,” he said.
“But I almost did it again”.
“But you didn’t-”
“But I almost-”
“But you didn’t!” he exclaimed, grabbing my shoulders and twisting me to face him.
“Careful, there’s snow and ice out here, you could have killed me!” I exclaimed, trying not to slip because of his sudden force. He laughed and told me to relax.
“It’s just like what you told me Elena. You’re not going to be automatically fixed. You’re going to have to work at it every day. And this is you working at it,” he said. He touched my cheek with his gloved hand, and I got that feeling again.
“We have to go to class,” I said quietly. He dropped his hand and we walked separately to our lockers, rejoining for English and acting like nothing happened.
We sat at our desks, still next to each other. There’s always news and gossip from people on the first day back from Winter Break, but today seemed to be a lot different. I kept hearing people whispering “is he really back?” and “does Janie know?”. My stomach jolted a little, but I tried my best to stay calm. There’s plenty of guys that Janie knows that could have returned today, there’s no reason that it can be him.
At lunch, Calum and I avoided the cafeteria again, instead choosing to go to the empty art room. He made me forget all about the mystery student who had returned, and entertained me with new lyrics he had been working on.
“What about this...can I call wake you up on a Sunday? Late night, I think we need to get away. Headlights, hold tight, turn the radio loud. Let me know where to go and I’ll get you there. Tell the truth and I’ll show you how to dare, flashlights held tight we could own this town, never say goodbye. And so kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, And tell me that I’ll see you again, cause I don’t know if I can let you go-”
I interrupted his singing by pressing my lips to his. I know what I said would basically go to hell by me doing this, but I’m so caught up in the moment. For once, with Calum, I’ve learned to just be. I can’t help how I feel, and right now I feel like I want to be with him, and screw my speech about needing a friend, because Calum can be my friend and my boyfriend, and it all just seems so right, kissing him. I don’t care how messed up I am, Calum will help me through it friend or boyfriend, because that’s who he is, and I should let myself be happy. Calum tossed our lunches to the side as we fell deeper into the kiss, and onto the floor, him positioning himself so that I was partially on the ground and he was laying over me, one hand one my back and the other feverishly holding my face.
“I can’t effing unsee this, how gross!” someone exclaimed, bursting in the room. Calum and I shot apart quickly, but we’d already been seen. The witness was Janie.
“What do you want Janie?” Calum asked.
“To burn my eyes so I can hopefully never see anything like that again,” she said, turning her nose up in disgust.
“What Elena and I do is none of your business,” Calum said.
“And I’d like to keep it that way, but I must warn you, just because she lets you kiss her like that, doesn’t mean she doesn’t let anyone else do the same,” she said coyly.
“What are you talking about?” Calum asked, standing up and helping me up with him.
“Janie, don’t,” I said.
“Don’t tell me what to do, you pathetic little whore,” she said, and turned away to briskly walk out.
“Elena, what’s going on?” Calum asked, touching my arm. I pulled away.
“Not now Calum!” I cried, and ran out of the room. I saw her go towards the cafeteria and I followed her. There were people around, but I didn’t care. “Janie, wait!”
“Janie’s surprisingly fast for how high her heels are. You, on the other hand, are a bit slower,” I heard a voice say. I froze. I hadn’t heard that voice in over a year, and I had never planned to hear it again. I started to cry silently as I turned around and faced yet another secret I was keeping.
“Nathan,” I said.
He stepped closer to me, too close. I could feel his breath on my neck. His eyes were dark and cunning. He stepped behind me and removed my hair from my shoulder. His left hand rested on my waist while his right caressed my cheek. I tried to stop him, but he was so much stronger than me.
“Don’t fight. Yeah, I’m back. Don’t get any stupid ideas again this time. They didn’t believe you then, and they won’t believe you now,” he whispered into my ear. I was petrified, shaking in place from fear. The one person that could truly bring me back to my dark place was here, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I felt his lips kiss my neck gently. It was like being kissed by the devil himself.
“You’re still so scared of me. Just like the night of the party. By the way...did you get the package I sent you?” he whispered, squeezing me before releasing quickly and walking away like nothing happened. Everyone was staring, but Nathan had us in a corner, angled so that hardly anyone could see. But they could see now, and I could see now that the past was catching up with me. Whatever motivation I had to keep fighting, to get better, it was gone now. I stood there, still frozen. The room started to spin slightly.
“Elena! There you are! What just happened?” Calum asked. But I couldn’t hear him. I felt myself falling. Everything started to get fuzzy, and then it faded away, until all I saw was darkness.
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life isn't complete without more drama.
btw, you can now view shared media on wattpad mobile if it's updated, so i'm gonna post a song from my playlist each chapter so you can finally see it lol. thank you so so so so much for all of the reads and votes and lovely comments! xx