A lot of time jumps in this chapter
4 weeks later
Alizé
I sat Rakim against my chest patting his back as I was burping him. I am so exhausted I didn't even put my titty back in my tank top. Motherhood has been good and not so good so far. Despite the fact that I've been thrown up, peed, and pooped on, everything else is good. Rakim is the sweetest and always loves being cuddled up with him momma. I've been staying with Keith's parents in Sacramento to just chill out and focus on taking care of my baby. The news got out and Lonzo said he has a spot for Rakim to work at the store.
Ms.Jennifer, Big Keith, Kaylan, Kevin, and even Skylar make things so much easier, but it's still hard. With Rakim looking exactly like Keith all I do is break down. I cry at least three times everyday. It's just hard and I'm still healing. The memories pour in my head of him trying to breath, the blood. Donte comes in and covers his eyes.
" Alizé I know you mother and every thing, but don't be leaving boobies out to just hang."
Rakim finally burps and I carefully lay him down on the bed fixing myself togther. I make contact with Donte and he makes a disgusting face.
" What wigga?"
" You have dark circles."
" Well that's what happens when you have a little munchkin who wakes you up almost every hour of the night."
He looks in the trash and sees all my makeup in there.
" You throwing all your makeup away?"
" Yeah, I don't see no point in wearing it anymore. I don't want him to get baby ache ", I caress his little face.
" How have you've been since you have birth?"
" I'm alright, just been chilling in the house taking care of Rakim."
Rakim kicks his feet smiling at me. Donte then picks him up kissing his cheeks.
" I love you buddy."
Rakim just stares at him with his little eyebrows bunched together.
I grab the letter Keith wrote me out of the night stand and read it again. I've been reading it everyday since Donte gave it to me at the hospital, I just miss my boyfriend. He would be such a help with everything. He made everything in my life easier.
5
months later
" Look at mommas baby."
I smile at Rakim as he giggles back with his hand in his mouth. It was almost dinner time and this would be his first time trying food food. I hope he likes it and doesn't spit it out like he did with the baby food, because that shit was lowkey expensive. I hear momma Jen call us down and me and my baby almost got ran over by Kevin.
" Boy this is not the Arkansas State football field."
He does that Q-dog bark and I roll my eyes. Kevin and Kayalan are back from college and I wish Kevin would go back. He has truly went into the roll of a brother in law and bugs the mess out of me every second he gets. I enter the dining room pulling Rakim's high chair up. I sit him in and he beats on his table smiling at me. He looks more and more like Keith each time he's growing.
I help momma set the plates and food down and everyone comes in the dining room. I sit the plate of spaghetti in front of Rakim and he digs him. He must really like it because he has sauce all over him.
" You like it papa?"
He nods his head yes sticking more pasta, pasta, ground beef, and sausage in his mouth. Momma Jen cut the meat really fine and small so he wouldn't choked.
" Alizé since you are finished with school now, what are you going to do ", Big Keith asked.
" Well since you asked, I've actually been looking for jobs in the engineering field and the big company I applied for called me back."
" Oh my goodness what did they say!"
Momma is very excited because she was the one who helped me with Rakim when I was pulling late nights, looking for jobs, etc. She is supper proud that o decided to go back to school and finishing my degree.
" They hired me, but the thing is I'm not going to be in Sacramento."
" San Diego?"
" No."
" Berkely?"
" No."
" San Jose?"
" No."
" Los Angeles?"
" No."
" Anaheim?"
" No, I'm moving to Minneapolis."
" As in Minnesota?"
" Yes ma'am."
Momma Jen gets up from the table going to the backyard. I saw tears streaming down her face and I go after her. She was sitting in a chair playing with her fingers. I give her a hug and she wipes her tears away.
" You are moving so far away....im going to miss you and my grandson."
" Were going to miss you too, but we will still visit you guys."
" Okay, but make sure you visit on the holidays."
" We'll be here Thanksgiving and Christmas."
" No I mean every holiday, even Chinese New Year."
We laugh and I hug her tighter than ever.
5 months later
I was sitting on the couch watching watching tv, when I heard Rakim talking baby language. Going into his playroom I see him standing up, then he puts one foot in front. I quickly grab my phone so I can record this moment. He walks a little bit and then starts running to me.
" Good job little man yay!"
I clap my hands and he does the same. My baby is growing up on me.
1 month later
" Happy birthday dear Rakim happy birthday to you."
" Yay", he yells clapping his hands.
Rakim didn't waste no time and started putting cake on his face. All of a sudden I feel cake smashed on my face and I turn around seeing Donte, Kevin, Reggie, Maino, and Bunky behind me.
" So yall think yall funny."
I grab the empty cooler throwing the ice on them. A whole food fight breaks out and I see Rakim throwing stuff. I smile picking him up, I'm glad my baby is having fun.
1 year and 7 months.
Rakim and I have finally made the adjustment to Minneapolis and we are starting to like it here, except for these damn winters. I make sure he his snuggled and warm before we go outside. He gets excited and starts running all over the yard. He falls down and Ustards crying because he was too deep in the snow. I pick him up and he rest his head in the crook of my neck.
" You want to go inside?"
He nods his head yes.
" Yeah this ain't made for us, we Cali people."
I go back inside the house so I can get started on making dinner.
~ ~ ~
I was laying in the bed with Rakim as I was facetiming my mother. We had to cut the call short because her boy toy came over and she said she needed to get her freak on. I stare at Rakim as he put his hands all in my face.
" Dude when are you going to sleep in the race car bed I got you."
" No."
Another unsuccessful night.
" I'm not about to fight you little boy, so I guess you sleeping in here with mommy again."
As I cuddle with Rakim I hear something downstairs like the front door being broken in. I call the police informing them that simebodybis trying to break in and they said somebody will be in my house in ten minutes. I didn't hear anything, so I go downstairs grabbing the iron skillet I keep in my closet. As I head down the stairs, I see somebody sitting at the kitchen eating the leftovers from the dinner I made.
" I don't know who you think you is breaking in my house eating up all my food."
" Damn babygirl I thought you would be able to recognize me ", he turns around.
I flick the light switch on and I am lost for words.
" Keith!?"