chapter thirty two - first impressions
song of the chapter ; floating - alina baraz ft khalid
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THE KISS WAS slow and tantalizing, passion dripped from the very action. The smell of fresh linen mixed with the salty ocean breeze slipped into Farah's senses, somehow numbing and warming them all at once. She could feel the rough skin of his palms cupped around her cheeks, effectively holding her in place, in captivity.
It was too good to be true, she knew it was. But Farah didn't want to think about that, she didn't want to worry about the repercussions or how this might just complicate everything they had going between them. She just wanted to bask in the softness of his lips, guiding her patiently, waiting for her to move in sync; and so she did.
She was lost in him, lost in his warmness drowned her, he still tasted like the dessert they had just indulged in, making her lip sting slightly. The feeling of rough bronze skin was addicting in itself. When she began to feel as if she'd overheat from desire, a zephyr wind that carried particles of the ocean's brackish water cooled her down all over again.
After what felt like minutes, she needed to pull away to inhale the saline air sharply. Her lips prickled and she could feel the skin of her face flush with fervor and her teeth caught onto the inside of her cheek as she bit it. Farah didn't want to look at his face, she was too embarrassed to. Her long lashes fanned across her face, her mouth feeling swollen and stimulated from what had just happened. Her heart almost ached by the way it was pounding, blood racing through her throat to her brain to the point where it almost throbbed.
When she felt a hand brush her own and that's when she met his eyes. White silver irises scanned her face while the ghost of a smile graced his own. It felt like she was holding her breath, that she'd explode at any given moment if she didn't contain her attraction at this exact moment. And then Farah forced herself to look away from him so she could finally breathe again.
Israfil's throat felt as if it'd close up and constrict oxygen if he said anything. He couldn't- he didn't want to- ruin the moment like that, not when this had been the most she had ever let him in, in the almost two months that they had met. He was scared that he'd blink his eyes and she'd be gone- like it was all a figment of his imagination. There was something about Farah that made him feel as if she were only temporary, a dream that he had conjured up in his own head to cure himself of the loneliness he didn't know he was feeling.
So he didn't utter a word, he just clasped her hand in his own and turned back to look at the ocean. It wasn't awkward- it was peaceful, he could sense it. Her worries were at bay for now, and for that he was happy. It felt like nothing could spoil any of it, and that was all he needed at the moment.
"I want you to meet my sister," He announced suddenly and then cursed himself for the way it came out when she looked startled by it. So much for not saying ruining the moment, he muttered to himself.
"Not like that, I don't mean it in an I want you to meet my family kind of way, not that I don't want you to meet my family, I just don't want to freak you out. It's just I'm a guy so I know you can't tell me everything, I know you like doing makeup and all of that kind of stuff and my sister is really into it too, but it's up to you. You don't have to if you don't want to-" He rambled, his stomach feeling jittery.
She cut his digression off by simply scooting closer to him and resting her head on his shoulder.
Oh, this girl, He thought to himself, feeling a strange emotion crawling against his skin, raising goosebumps across. The wind carried her scent and he caught it, a warm french vanilla that made his mouth feel dry with an odd particular hunger. Her full head of dark curly hair rested against the black long sleeve shirt he was wearing, and he released a content sigh.
"I'd love to meet your sister," Farah said after a few moments, staring at the beach. "What's her name?"
Israfil let out another sigh, one he didn't know he was holding. "Samara." His hand tightened around her own. "She's a gossiping brat but she's cool sometimes I guess. I think you'll like her."
"Lacey's really nice too. Maybe all three of us can hang out soon."
He turned to her, "I was going to tell you, I have a trip coming up. I have to fly over Phoenix this weekend."
Farah's met his gaze, "Why?"
"I have a meeting with the Alpha over there. Our packs are bound by treaty so whenever he has massive issues with rogues or anything else, I fly down there with my beta to help him out." He explained, "I'd take you with me, but I can't. You're not Luna yet."
She shifted nervously, "Luna?"
"It's like the Alpha Female, you rule the pack alongside me. I didn't want to pressure or rush you, I wanted you to take your time to adjust here before I gave you any responsibilities."
She furrowed her eyebrows, "Okay, I'm not really seeing the problem? I'll be fine on my own."
"You're not staying by yourself." He stated, almost instantly. The sharpness of his jaw tightened, shadowed by the moonlight and the dark stubble of his beard. He watched as a frown marred her forehead, a slight crease forming between her eyebrows, her lips pressing together firmly before she opened her mouth to speak.
"Why not?"
"I'm not leaving you alone." She didn't like the way his tone was; possessive, firm and almost condescending. Did he not think that she could handle herself? Even if she couldn't, the thought of him not thinking she would be fine on her own was irking her. Did he not think that she was strong enough, was that it?
"Don't do that," She said, her tone quiet but colored with the annoyance she felt. "Don't think that I'm weak. Do you not trust me, is that why?"
Israfil scowled, "I don't think you're weak. It's not that I don't trust you, it's that I don't trust other people with you." He exhaled sharply through his teeth, not wanting to engage in a fight with her. This wasn't his aim, she had willingly come to him to try and sort things out, and that made him happy. He was glad his interest wasn't one-sided, but he didn't want to ruin that, the progress they made was good.
"When I'm not here, you have a higher chance of danger," He added, his voice now soft and tender. "I wanted to see if you can go stay with Lacey and Alexander while I'm gone."
"If you don't like Alexander, why am I staying there?" Farah asked. She had picked up on the glares and harsh words that the two Alphas had thrown at each other on the trip back, and she sensed there was a lot of tension in that particular area.
He stared at her, "What makes you think I don't like him?" Absolute lie. He didn't like his fellow Alpha one bit.
"I'm good at reading people," She shrugged.
Israfil removed his hand from her own and moved so he could wrap his arm around her shoulders, "I may not like him, but I trust him. With you, at least. I trust Lacey, too. They'll take care of you."
"I don't need to be babysat," Although her voice was gentle, as it almost always was, her words held an underlying tone to it, one that was pushing her point forward to make sure he got the message.
"I know you don't," Israfil answered, "I just want to make sure you're safe, please." He was pleading now, she could hear it loud and clear. He didn't want to argue with her, he just wanted to enjoy this time with her. This made Farah feel guilty; she now felt bad for arguing with him so much. His intentions were pure, she knew this for sure now. She had been treading on eggshells all this time for nothing, and being here reminded her of that.
She realized it then, and the epiphany nearly sent her falling off the rock itself. Israfil wasn't Noah. He wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't harm her. Sure, he came off as a little overbearing sometimes, but he never expected anything except honesty in return. He was kind and considerate and always seemed to have her best interest in mind. But would he be accepting of the other parts that came with her? The damaged fragments? He seemed understanding of her past, but how far would that compassion go before he grew tired?
"Okay." She leaned in closer, hesitant. "I'm sorry." She murmured.
"It's okay." He responded almost immediately, arm tightening around her body. "It's alright."
"Israfil?" Farah's voice shook as she swallowed hard, fluttering her eyes closed.
"Yeah?"
She squeezed her eyes tighter when she felt a familiar teary burn, "Don't hurt me, please."
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The drive home was one of silence, the comfortable kind. The hood was pulled back of the convertible, and Farah stared at their joined hands that rested on the middle console with a slight smile, her heart dipping. She forced herself to look out the window when she felt herself staring at his side profile for so long. Was it possible for someone to be so attractive it nearly hurt to look at them? Farah felt her cheeks warm and goosebumps rise over her skin when she felt the pad of his thumb brush over the side of her index finger.
Farah had never thought of her face as ugly, necessarily, but her body was a different story. She had always been told she was beautiful by her parents as she grew up, but he- Israfil was well out of her league and she knew it. Perhaps she wouldn't pay much mind to it if it weren't for the sneaky glances and subtle flirting other women and sometimes other men did with him when they went out. The thought made her hand tighten around his own.
"You okay?" He asked, glancing at her.
She turned to him, breath caught in her throat. "Yeah."
She fell asleep no less than thirty minutes later, for the ride was going to be for another hour. Farah rested her head against the back seat and slumped her body against it, hood up and arms now hidden under the hoodie. Her hair spilled out around her neck, raven, curly and long.
When Israfil pulled into the driveway and shut off the car, he smiled slightly and got out to go to her side of the vehicle, pulling open her door. In one quick motion, he picked her up, kicking it closed before he made his way up the stairs of his porch. He unlocked the house, managing to kick off his shoes and shut the door behind him before walking up the staircase with ease. He walked to her room and gently set her down, watching as she curled into the sheets, but her hand pulled on his wrist.
"Farah," He whispered softly, "You need to go to sleep." Her hand was still gripping his wrist.
She muttered incoherently, "Come here."
"I am," He answered.
"No." Farah patted the empty space on the bed next to her, "Here."
His eyes widened, "I-"
"Come on." Her voice was that of a siren, destructively alluring and convincing even in her lethargic state. "Please."
"You're not going to like this, tomorrow," Israfil told her, already feeling himself giving in.
She sighed, "Please." She murmured again.
"Okay." He agreed, going to change first.
He climbed into the spot next to her, and his eyes widened again when he felt her shuffling before he watched as she kicked her pants off and threw them on the ground. "What are you doing, Farah?" Israfil swallowed hard. She was now just in underwear and an oversized hoodie.
"I'm hot," She muttered, inching closer and resting her head on his chest.
Goddess above, Israfil repeated to himself.
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