Five. Years.
I can't believe it! No, I really can't.
Five years have gone by since 2013 when I found my little Pinkie Pie in a cardboard box. Since the kiss with Josh in 2014, things have been going great. Josh has come by often, bringing toys and treats for Pinkie. Sometimes, we play video games when he comes over, sometimes we hang out with Pinkie. It's so great how Josh hasn't told anyone about her, which I'm eternally grateful for.
I'll never admit that I'm crushing hard on Josh big time. Besides, he had a girlfriend, unfortunately for me. Why are all the good ones taken? He probably doesn't even like me in that way anyways. That's why it's called a crush. Because it's crushing.
Pinkie and I come over only when his girlfriend is out. One time, Pinkie and I had to hide under Josh's bed for 20 minutes and then sneak out the back door to make sure Josh's girlfriend didn't find us out. You'll notice I refer that hoe bag to 'his girlfriend'. Oh my gosh, did I just call someone a hoe bag? That's kinda mean, no wonder Josh doesn't like me.
Well, his girlfriend does have jugs the size of Jupiter and she does have bleached blonde hair and orange skin from fake tanning. Not to mention her face is caked with makeup all the time. She isn't exactly nice to Josh, either, from the information I've gathered when I overhear her talking to him while Pinkie and I are hiding from her in cupboards or closets. Like, she's so controlling!
She knows that Josh and I are friends and thinks I'm a potential threat to their relationship or something. Josh is too good for me. She should know that, even though we've never met. But I still hate her because she's dating my crush. What's so good about her, anyway? I bet I could be just as good a girlfriend than her.
It's not like I'm jealous or anything, because I'm so not jealous, why would I be jealous, who said I was jealous? I'm not jealous.
Anyway, changing the subject, Pinkie and I go to the park often at night. Josh comes along as well, sometimes. The two have really grown on each other, and one time Pinkie came with me to his house. It was adorable! Pinkie was amazed at everything, even the front door. "Wow, you have a big backyard!" She exclaimed.
They played soccer outside, which, I have to believe, Josh is actually very good at. "It's because my parents made me do it when I was a kid. I didn't mind it, but I didn't really like it either," he told me.
Josh has been trying to convince me to bring Pinkie to BronyCon, lately, and I'm starting to give in. "I'll think about it," I murmured over the phone once.
"Yesss!" I hear over the line and I roll my eyes.
Oh, Josh.
Today, however, after long consideration, I am going out to buy Pinkie a pet. Now, nothing too big! Only like, a guinea pig or something. It's May 3rd, Pinkie's birthday. How do I know that? I googled it. If only I could do that with human kids.
I grab my cell phone and speed dial Josh's number to tell him the master plan. I'll take Pinkie to Josh's place for a while, go off and buy her a pet, get all the things it needs and set it up, then take Pinkie back home and surprise her! Thankfully, he's happy to oblige and says he'll get a present and cake and stuff, and that I should come over at about 1:00pm.
"Alright, Pinkie! Do you want to come with me to visit Josh?" I call and she cheers from upstairs.
I'm already ready to go, so Pinkie just follows me into the car. I'm sad that now it doesn't have its' new car smell anymore, but meh. What are you gonna do?
Pinkie hops in the backseat, I press my foot on the accelerator, and we begin the journey to Josh's place. I still haven't told Pinkie that it's her birthday. I don't know why, maybe I'm just trolling her.
We arrive at Josh's house, and Pinkie bounces up the stone path to the front door. She knocks on the door with her face and I laugh, making my way up to her to ring the door bell. "Coming!" I hear a faint call from inside the house, then loud clattering and bumping noises until Josh opens the door, leaning against the door frame with an arm.
His dark hair is a mess, going in all different directions with what looks to be bits of glue. "Hi, Josh!" Pinkie smiles, bouncing into the house.
"Uh, Pinkie! Hi! Uh, don't go into the kitchen... or the living room, ok?" Josh stammers. He nods hello to me, before turning to Pinkie who is skipping around the entrance.
"Why shouldn't I?" Pinkie asks, stopping her bouncing and raising an eyebrow at Josh.
"Um... because... because the radio isn't fixed yet and it sounds terrible in the kitchen," Josh replies.
I fold my arms. "But the kitchen and living room are on opposite sides of the house," Pinkie protests.
Josh rubs the back of his head and smiles weakly. "Er... Uh... the electricity wires and stuff are connected from the... kitchen to the living room?"
Pinkie studies Josh for a few seconds with a stern look on her face. "Okay, I'll take your word for it," Pinkie smiles, bouncing upstairs to the games room which Josh has for some apparent reason.
I lean on the door frame and smirk at Josh. He looks at me like a mouse would to a cat. "Tell me the truth," I say, almost laughing at how bad he is at lying.
"Okay, okay!" He whisper shouts. "It's Pinkie's birthday and I was planning a party, but it kinda got out of control..."
"What do you mean?" I inquire.
"Well, I didn't have much time to buy a cake, so I sorta tried to bake one..." Josh trailed off.
"You know you would have saved more time if you bought one," I can't help but smile.
He's just so cute when he does something and it doesn't go the way he wanted it to! "Well, I didn't know that," Josh reasons, rubbing his arm self consciously.
I laugh and slap his shoulder playfully. "So, I'm guessing that's the reason why you've got glue in your hair?" I question.
"You could call it that," Josh says.
"Your hair?" I play dumb.
"No, glue. It's supposed to be cake batter. I don't know why it didn't turn out right, I put all the right things in it. Ya know, flour, water and sugar," he explained.
"That's it?" I question. He nods sheepishly and I throw my head back with laughter. "You need more than those ingredients!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air. "Where's the recipe?"
"I, uh..." Josh trails off.
"You don't have a recipe? You could have at least googled it," I chuckle.
"My internet's down. I know, right? The most inconvenient time ever," he sighs.
"How do you cook regular food?" I ask incredulously, hands on hips.
"My, uh... girlfriend cooks for me," he murmurs, looking at the floor.
Does he know I like him? Does he know that I could be jealous but really am not? "Oh," I say coldly, "Well, you two aren't going to be together forever. Unless you wanna marry a carrot."
I gasp at what I just said. Man, that was bitchy. Josh just stares at me blankly, and I can feel the sickening tension of silence in the air. I laugh nervously. "Ehehehe... it was a... joke?" I lie.
"Oh," he says, as if just getting it. "Ha ha ha."
He laughs sorta sadly. "Listen, bro, I'm sorry," I apologise, "I didn't mean it or anything."
"No," Josh mumbles, "No, it's okay."
I bite my lip. "So anyways, let's see if we can fix the cake," I say, breaking the awkward silence.
"Alright!" Josh exclaims, and I follow him into the kitchen.
I suck in a breath at the sight. It looks like the cake imploded, then exploded in the oven, splattering then rest of the kitchen with white goo. "First of all, we need to clean up this mess!" I cry, gesturing to the slop on the counter. "And second of all, how much flour, sugar a and water did you use?"
"Uh... a lot?" Josh replies.
I grab a cloth from the sink and start to wipe at the goo on the counter, but unfortunately the cloth sticks to the goo and my hand is stuck with it. "Shit shit shit!" I murmur, each time I cuss I attempt to pull away from the slop that is now dried like cement. "What kind of cake mix did you make?"
"It was supposed to be vanilla!" Josh cries, wrapping his arms around me from behind and holding my arm that's connected to my stuck hand.
I feel his breath on my shoulder and almost enjoy it, if it weren't for the fact that I may have to saw my hand off to live the rest of my life as comfortably as possible. Either that or I'll just have to stay here in my crush's arms forever...
You know, going with the latter couldn't be so bad.
He pulls at my arm to try to dislodge my hand. "Ow! OW! Stop it!" I scream.
"Sorry!" Josh apologises possibly more than a thousand times.
Now, we are both in panic mode. "What do we do? What do we do?" I repeat.
Josh pulls away from me, grabs the kettle and turns it on. "I wish that wasn't the only thing I could turn on," he jokes, raising his eyebrows for a split second.
I laugh despite my panicked state and we wait for the kettle to finish boiling. He lifts it up and holds my stuck arm. "Hey, since when do you own a kettle?" I ask.
He shakes his head and chuckles, before going serious. "Okay, maybe if we heated up this shit," he gestures to the white gloop that's trapped my hand, "It'll become softer and then you can pull your hand away."
"It's worth a shot," I shrug.
"Tell me if I accidentally burn you, ok?" He says, almost protectively.
I nod and he slowly pours the water not on my hand, but on the slop around it. We wait a few seconds, then I try to wriggle my fingers. They barely move. "More," I state.
He pours more boiling water around it and I try to move my fingers. They move like my hand is encased in soft, warm candle wax. I attempt to pull my hand away, but it's a little stuck. I grunt to show I need help to dislodge it. Josh puts his arms on my shoulders from behind and grips my stuck arm. "One, two, three," he counts and we both pull to get me free.
"Just a bit more," I say.
He nods and with one final tug, I'm free. But our pull was a little too strong and we are forced backwards so Josh falls on his back and I fall on Josh's front. "You okay?" He asks.
"I'm more concerned about you," I answer, turning over so I'm now looking him in the eye. I roll off him and stand up, before helping Josh up.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replies.
"Are you sure? Because you landed on varnished wood," I say, trying to make sure he's okay.
He sighs and turns around to show me his back, which is fully covered in the white, glue like substance. "I landed on glue," he states in a dumb tone.
"I'm not surprised," I giggle at him and he narrows his eyes jokingly at me.
He scrapes some of the goo off from his shirt and flings it at me. I squeal and pause in shock as it splatters on my chest. I look up at Josh slowly and an evil grin creeps across my face.
I pick up some slop from the counter and flick it at his head. It catches his shoulder as he tries to dodge and we go into an all out sticky, messy glue-with-too-much-flour war. I never thought that I of all people would be doing this, but he started it!
We playfully tackle each other to the ground where we wrestle in the gloop. You know what? Getting messy can be fun. I mean, as long as we clean up afterwards.
We play fight and laugh for about 20 minutes or so, and then we are lying in the glueish substance making goo angels. There is a long silence, which really happens a lot with us, before I get up off the ground. "I think we'd better get this off and clean it up before it sticks to us and encases us in glue forever," I say, emphasising the last few words.
Josh nods once and clambers up, almost slipping and falling on his bum. He helps me up and I follow him to the bathroom. Yes, the bathroom. As in one bathroom.
"Er, how about you have the first shower?" Josh suggests.
"Yeah," I agree, jumping into the shower and waiting for Josh to leave.
He gets my gesture and hurries out. "I'll go wash myself off with the hose outside. You can use the towels in the cupboards, they're clean," he throws over his shoulder and closes the door.
I lock it and turn the shower on, washing off all the sludge from my clothes, but not able to reach the crap underneath my clothes. Eventually, I get fed up and strip off in the shower. It's very annoying, as it's hard to do stuff with your clothes when they're wet. So, yeah, now I'm naked in the bathroom at Josh, my crush's, house. With no dry clothes to wear. I absolutely refuse to wear my wet ones now.
How do I explain this to Pinkie? Literally, what am I supposed to wear to explain this to Pinkie? A towel? How do I get home?
I tip toe out of the shower, turning the water off and making my way through the foggy room to the cupboards underneath the basin. I open them, and as Josh promised, there where towels. Success!
I dry off and wrap one around my hair and one around my body. The towels aren't fluffy, but they're not bad. I unlock the door and walk out. I tiptoe up the stairs just to try to make sure Pinkie can't hear me in the games room. I make my way to Josh's room and knock on the door softly.
Okay, so Josh is gonna see me in a towel. That's about as close as he's ever gonna see me naked. "C'mon in," I hear Josh's voice speak softly.
I poke my head in, followed by my body and I walk in self consciously. Josh is sitting on his queen bed in a new green shirt and beige shorts. I cross my arms over my chest protectively. I didn't even need to, the towel was doing a pretty good job. "Uh, so," I start, "I know this sounds crazy, but could I borrow some of your clothes? Mine are wet and I don't wanna wear them because it's really uncomfortable."
He nods. "Sure. You can wear my girlfriends'..." He starts but trails off.
I give him a look and lean on one leg, pushing my left hip out. "Why do you always trail off whenever you talk about your girlfriend?" I question, raising my voice a little. So much for slipping past Pinkie. "Is there something about her I should know? Are you two falling apart? What?"
Josh looks at his hands in his lap. "No, it's just..." He trails off. AGAIN.
"What? What is it?" I press.
"Well, I don't want to upset you," he replies cautiously.
"Upset me? Do you think I'm jealous? Because I'm totally not jealous, why the heck would I be jealous? Who said I was jealous? I'm SO not jealous," I rant.
"Okay, I get it! You're not jealous," Josh says, I think he just wants to shut me up. He puts his head in his hands. I huff a sigh and spin around on my heels. He looks up at me and asks, "Do you like me?"
"Of course I like you, we're friends," I answer quickly. I think he's on to me.
"No, I mean, do you like like me?" He enforces.
"No," I reply. I feel bad about lying to him, but he has a hoe bag- I mean, he has a girlfriend! Josh raises an eyebrow. I roll my eyes. "Okay, yes," I mumble, glowering at the carpet.
"Yeah, see, that's what I'm worried about," Josh explains.
"What? What're you worried about?" I inquire like he's the stupidest person on the planet. I just confessed to the one secret I have been holding for five years to the person that secret was about.
"I don't wanna hurt you," Josh answers, his grey/blue eyes on the brink of tears.
"Hurt me?" I half whisper.
"I don't wanna get hurt either. Because I'm falling for you. I'm falling hard. But I don't want to hurt her either," He says, referring to his hoe bag, his voice breaking.
"You... you like me back?" I ask, a little shocked.
"I... I... yes. I spent years looking for my significant other, and I thought I had found her but she was right there in front of me the whole time... but I think I still have feelings for this other girl, too," Josh explains, his face going red. Possibly from embarrassment, possibly from anger and possibly a mixture of both.
It breaks my heart to see him so sad. I'd go up to him and give him a hug if I wasn't, ya know, wearing a towel. "Well, do you still like this other girl?" I ask, sitting down next to him and crossing one leg over the other so he couldn't see my pussy.
"I don't know! She's not even my type, she's rude, she's... she's a bitch," Josh almost spits the word. "She's... she's a fucking..."
"Carrot?" I suggest.
Josh turns to me and chuckles. "Yes, a fucking carrot," he smiles.
Did I just make him smile? That felt good.
Josh and I stare at each other for a moment, before he jumps up. "Well," he says, "Let's get you some clothes. You can wear the carrot's." I giggle at the new but nasty nickname. Josh walks over to the walk in closet on the other side of the room and opens the sliding doors. Wow, that walk in closet is a walk in closet! It's really big, a mirror sits at the end of the way. Colourful clothes hang on the racks on opposite sides of the beige carpet pathway. Josh walks in, turns to me and spreads his arms out. "A quarter of this is mine," he laughs. I laugh, too and follow him in. "Pick whatever trashy, slutty thing you want. Carrot won't mind. And if she does? Stuff 'er!"
I guffaw at his disrespectfulness to his soon to be ex girlfriend. Or maybe he was just saying that to make me feel better about being single? Meh. For the next hour or so, Josh and I put on a fashion show for each other. I tried on almost all of Carrot's outfits, the slutty and semi-slutty. And the best part? When Josh tried on a few, too.
By the end, I pick out the longest shorts Carrot has, which, might I add, aren't that long, and also an old, white t-shirt of Josh's that's too small for him now but for some reason he still keeps the shirt.
"Do I look fabulous?" I ask sarcastically, adding a lisp at the end of 'fabulous'.
"As a carrot," Josh jokes, and we walk out of his room.
Then I suddenly realise why I even came here in the first place. "Oh! Josh! The master plan! We forgot to clean up the kitchen!" I exclaim.
"Don't worry! I did it," Pinkie calls, bouncing up the stairs.
"Pinkie? But why? I thought you were in the games room?" I question.
"Well, I heard someone taking a shower and I saw Josh washing off some gluey stuff outside and I heard yelling from the kitchen before that, so I figured you guys were making a mess in the kitchen. So I realised you guys had fixed the radio and so I cleaned up all that mess and baked a cake while I was at it," Pinkie explained.
Really? She baked her own birthday cake? Sigh.
"Well, it's your birthday, Pinkie. Josh and I wanted to bake a cake with you, but Josh clearly isn't good at cooking," I mutter, nudging Josh.
"It's my birthday? Why didn't you tell me?" Pinkie asks incredulously.
"We wanted it to be a surprise," Josh chips in.
"Hey! Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean I can't plan my own party!" Pinkie exclaims. "Now, let's get to it!"
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Aaaw! Josh likes her back. That never happens in real life, unfortunately. ；＿；
I know that this story is supposed to be about Pinkie. And yeah, Josh is sorta stealing the spotlight. Though without Josh, you wouldn't have such quick updates! Don't worry, he'll slowly back off into the shadows eventually.
Now we know Josh's one weakness... COOKING!
And you probably thought he was perfect. Ha!
Also, if you're wondering, Josh has liked the protagonist for three years, while she has liked him for five. Well, technically four.
So what do you think will happen? Will his hoe bag- I'm sorry, I mean 'girlfriend' find out about Pinkie? Or about our protagonist and Josh? Do you think she'll be very happy if she ever finds out what went down in the kitchen? Lol, I don't!
As always, thanks for reading!
Stay happy.
~ilovepinkiepie