CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
( EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER )
THE MORNING OF THE next day, Nick didn't want to wake up. Between rushing to do his homework at one in the morning and low key freaking about his fight with Peter, he didn't get much sleep and he was very tempted to ignore all of his alarms and act sick, but decided against it. He put on some music just to wake himself up more as he got dressed and ready, mumbling the lyrics. Three songs later, he stopped the music and walked down stairs with his bag hanging off of one shoulder. It fell to the ground as he walked to the couch, falling onto it with a soft thud, sinking into the cushions as he stared at the muted TV.
The morning news was on, curtesy of his mother who for some reason loved the news. By the looks of the news anchors' faces, the adults seemed to be fighting about something. Nick tiredly rolled his eyes at it. That's all those people did. Fight. It was the main reason he avoided the news, other than it being boring; but other than that, if it wasn't always so dramatic and boring, he'd be interested in keeping up with the world.
"You okay, kiddo?" Dan asked as he walked into the living room, sitting down in the recliner to put on his shoes. At Nick's grunt of reply, the man chuckled quietly as he shook his head. He finished tying his shoes and stood up. "Well, your mom is taking you to school today, but I'll convince her to get you coffee. How 'bout that?"
Nick lifted his eyes up to his dad and gave a small frown. "Don't, it'll make her feel rushed," he said.
"You need it. You look more zombie-like than usual."
"Thanks." Nick rolled his eyes but let out a small laugh, Dan smiling at the fact he got the reaction he wanted out of his son. He then bent down and ruffled his hair up before leaving the room and going to where Sharon was, most likely to persuade her to get Nick coffee, which he wasn't going to complain about. He just didn't want his mom to feel too rushed.
A few or so minutes later, Nick was in the car with his mom, his dad already gone, and on their way to Starbucks. The car ride was silent most of the time other than the few instances where she asked how school was going for him and what he wanted from Starbucks, followed by his short answers. It really wasn't until after he had gotten his coffee when the conversation picked up, not long until they would be at Midtown.
"Have you spoken to James recently?" Sharon asked, genuinely curious, after he told her that he and Marty were hanging out after school. They weren't; it was detention.
"Rogers? Um..." Nick frowned, trying to think when he had last spoken to James. They haven't talked much, not really. Not since their fight and not since their conversation at Nick birthday party where the older boy was worried. A few times, James had texted him but something kept Nick from replying. He knew why, too, but he never wanted to admit it until then; that it was because of a certain someone. "Not really. No," Nick finally answered. "Why?"
Sharon shrugged. "You two are close, I was just wondering," she explained. "And I know I'm not the biggest fan of him, but..." She trailed off, letting out a sigh. "But despite being...the way that he is, he's a good kid. He's got a good head on his shoulders."
"You're only saying that because he's related to Captain America," Nick stated and refrained from rolling his eyes. He was tired of his mom acting as if she liked James. She's done it ever since she figured out he liked boys and girls, which pissed Nick off.
"Nick-."
"No, just stop," Nick said. "You- James and I hang out, then after I get home you bad mouth him just because of who he likes, and then... Then I subconsciously distance myself from him! Because of you and it's not fun. Then you act like you want us to be friends, but only because he's some relative of Steve Rogers! And the cycle starts over again after we talk again, and it sucks. It sucks, Mom, why do you have to be so judgmental to someone who isn't even a legal adult?"
He looked in his mom dead in the eyes, thankful that they had stopped so no one was in potential danger. Although, they were at the school now and other teenagers could probably look through the glass and see the angry look on Nick's face, and the shocked one on his mother's. She wasn't expecting him to defend him, to say the least. But, she should have, knowing that her son would do anything for his friends. The woman didn't know how to react at first, but eventually got herself together enough to speak.
"Nick, sweetheart, it's just that-."
"How would God react to your actions right now?"
Sharon gaped at her son, blinking once then twice. Nick looked away, then, and got out of the car; he mumbled a goodbye and that he loved her before shutting the door, angrily sipping his coffee as he made his way inside the school building. He got to his locker, ignoring Peter, who tried to say hi, on the way there in case he blew up on him again. While stuffing everything that he needed in his backpack with one hand, he grumbled about anything and everything. From how hated school, to how he hated that his mom disliked James, to how he wished that his mom wasn't homophobic so he wouldn't be scared but simultaneously wishing for the same exact thing, and asking why the hell he had to get a crush on Peter of all people?
"Hi."
Speak of the devil.
Nick drifted his eyes over to Peter who stood there with a nervous glint in his eyes and an awkward smile. Despite all of his negative emotions, Nick gave the smallest smile. "Hey, Pete," he said, forcing himself to not accidentally say anything rude, pushing the last book into his backpack and zipping it up, shutting his locker after he situated the backpack correctly on his shoulders.
"Look, hey, I'm sorry about last night. I just... I've already lost my Uncle Ben, I don't want to lose you, too," Peter explained. "I got worried and scared, and I really like you- oh, God, are you okay?"
Nick went into a coughing fit, the coffee having gone down the wrong way after hearing Peter say 'I really like you', shocking the teen to no end. He had no idea if he meant it in that way or not, but still. Nick was freaking out on the inside. Maybe on the outside, too, he couldn't tell as he coughed. "'m fine," he choked out, coughing a few more times and trying to ignore Peter's concerned look and the hand on his shoulder.
"You sure?"
"Uh-huh," Nick forced out and coughed once more. "Um... Did you, uh, did you just say you like me?"
Peter's brown eyes widened dramatically, face slowly turning red as he yanked his hand away. "Wh- what? No. I mean, yeah, I did. But I don't- I mean, I like you, but just not in that way- actually that's a lie, and I need to stop talking." He gave a nervous, awkward laugh.
Nick stared at Peter in pure shock, mouth hanging opened slightly. He didn't know how to react, and felt it was entirely too early for any of this, but maybe that was his lack of sleep talking. But part of him wanted to be happy because did Peter Parker just admit that he liked Nick Berry? Or was it some sick plan of Frank's so the junior could make fun of Nick later? He doubted Peter would ever agree to something like that, but still that thought was in his head. And then he thought of that plan to stop liking Peter back in January, and everything that happened already with Frank, and coming out to his two best friends and Olivia, and the dreaded day where he would come out to his parents, and suddenly he was beginning to panic.
"Shit-."
"Hey, what's up, fellas," Marty exclaimed with a grin as he walked up to them, a wide grin across his face that slowly fell as he looked at them in confusion. "Did I interrupted something?"
Nick grabbed onto Marty's shirt with his free hand and started dragging him away almost instantly. "I need to talk to you alone," he spoke quickly, "I'll, uh, see you later, Peter!" He didn't bother looking at Peter, too scared that he'll blurt something out that he didn't want to in the middle of the school hallway, and dragged Marty to the nearest janitor's closet. He locked the door behind them and finally let himself to truly panic. "I think Peter just said he liked me and I don't know what to do, help me, holy shit. Am I imagining things?"
"Okay, here's what you do: throw a fruit at him with your name and number. Boom! Instant boyfriend for you, Nick." A second passed with Nick staring at Marty in disbelief. "I'm joking, sheesh. Tough crowd."
"This isn't a joking matter! I'm freaking out! I didn't think this would happen, Marty, okay?" Nick said, pacing back and forth in the tiny space, his coffee placed on one of the shelves. "I'm not- I mean, I do like boys, but I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. Because I know when I get in one, that's when I'll tell Mom and Dad, because I don't want to keep that away from them, but I'm still too scared, and I just blew up on my mom for being so judgmental towards James, and I dunno she could be suspicious about it. But I-."
"Whoa, hey," Marty quickly stopped his rambling and grabbed his shoulders, stopping him from pacing. "Breathe. Can you do that?" He breathed in slowly with Nick, and then let out just and slowly. In through the nose, out through the mouth. They did that one more time before either of them said anything else. "Better?"
Slowly, Nick nodded. "Yeah. I just really like Peter, y'know, have since the beginning of this school year, and I'm happy to hear that he might like me back, but I'm just so scared."
"Then tell him that."
"You're fucking crazy, oh my God."
"No, I'm serious," Marty said. "Be honest with him, but do it when you're ready, okay?"
Nick groaned, and leaned against the part of the wall that didn't have a shelf on it. Just then, the door handle jiggled, making the two boys stare at the door until it opened, revealing the janitor. They all stared at each other for a moment.
"One of the girls threw up on the second floor," he stated. With that, Marty pushed out the mop and the yellow janitorial to the tired looking man. Nick then handed him whatever else he might need, the man muttering a thanks to the two teens before speaking up, "No funny business, got it?"
"Oh, he's just freaking out about his crush. No, worries, Mr. Gip," Marty explained.
"Dude!"
Mr. Gip nodded, muttered an 'okay', clearly unfazed by Nick's reaction, and then left, shutting the door back just as the bell rang. Nick sighed and stood up straight again, running a hand through his hair. It was getting long, and the roots were starting to show far too much, meaning he would have to cut it soon, and he really didn't want to let go of the white hair just yet. But that was a different problem.
"We can either stay here and let Anita in on everything, or go to class and wait until lunch to fill her in with everything," Marty said.
Nick shrugged. "I don't need my parents figuring out I skipped class so... Lunch it is."
+++
The day so far was an emotional rollercoaster for Nick. From waking up tired to mad. Then from a range of emotions flooding him after his short talk with Peter – who Nick has been avoiding, by the way – to the internal freak during class while he was simultaneously bored to death. He nearly had a run-in with Frank again, but avoided it completely, and watched a Up in one of his classes because the teacher just didn't feel like teaching. So yeah. A very wide range of emotions for Nick, and it was only lunch time.
Nick, Marty and Anita were seated in their usual seats, eating and talking about everything. Nick explained everything with his mom from earlier in the morning, which caused him to have to explain his fight with James since he hadn't before hand. Then they got into what happened with Peter, but he made sure to leave everything out that involved Spider-Man. By the time he was done, he was tired of talking and dreaded the last period of class with Peter, along with the end of school when he would go home and face the potential wrath of his mother.
"Part of me wants to say yes, get the boy; but the other part of me says no, stay single with me and Marty," Anita admitted. "I mean, none of us have been in a relationship. It's just been us three amigos, but I have nothing against you if you decide to go for it."
"I don't even know if he actually likes me, it could just be a big misunderstanding on my part," Nick said with a sigh.
"He literally said, 'I like you'," Marty reminded him.
"Meh."
"Meh?" Marty groaned and rolled his eyes. "Dude! Are you dumb, or are you dumb?"
"I think we've established that he is," Anita said.
Nick rolled his eyes, opting not to say anything as he propped his head up in his hand. Marty and Anita started talking between themselves, occasionally giving Nick an opportunity to speak up but when he didn't, they continued talking. At this current point, he didn't want to talk about everything again until the next day. But that won't happen.
Not with his mom who will most definitely sit him down and make him talk, and especially not when Peter decided to confront him.
Anita and Marty looked between Nick and Peter, both with wide eyes and mouths slightly open, waiting for something to happen.
"Um, I need to talk to Nick a- alone," Peter stuttered out, nerves consuming him. "Please."
The two best friends quickly spoke at the same time, gathering their things as they said something about going to where Ned was before dashing away. Nick wanted to call out for them and beg them to stay, but didn't. Instead he stayed glued to his seat with his mouth shut, not saying a word to Peter. He didn't know what to say. Thankfully, though, Peter spoke first, and thankfully their seats were out of earshot of other kids around them.
"I- I'm sorry. For what I said earlier – this morning. I didn't- I wasn't trying to make you uncomfortable with anything, and I didn't mean to admit that, really, it just came out, like words usually do when I'm rambling. Like I am now. Shit, sorry. I understand if you don't want to be friends anymore because of that, I'll be okay. It'll be okay. Don't worry." Peter stopped talking, almost as if he was forcing himself to. He gave a nervous, tight lipped smile as he fidgeting with his hands under the table. It relaxed Nick some knowing that Peter was nervous as well; not by much, though.
Nick looked down and cleared his throat as he thought of how to respond. "I... We're still going to be friends, Peter," he said. "I don't care about what you said. Well, I do, but... Not in a disgusted, uncomfortable way that you think. More in the I kinda, sorta, maybe, most definitely feel the same way." The curly haired boy finally looked up and gave a smile as if to say 'surprise!', almost laughing at Peter's shocked look.
"R- Really?" Peter asked, smile growing more confident.
Nick nodded, though didn't say anything.
Slowly, Peter's smile fell. "Is a 'but' coming?"
"But-." Nick got cut off by the bell ringing loudly. Both boys frowned, disappointed, but Nick was the slightest relieved that he didn't have to explain just yet.
"Tell me after school?"
"After I get out of detention." Nick stood up the same time Peter did. "As long as you don't mind waiting."
He gave a small, reassuring smile. "It's fine, I can wait. Spidey can take a rest."
***
A/N— Okay because I don't want this chapter to be too, too long, the rest of their little talk will be in the next chapter!! But this one is seriously a Mess. A giant mess; a roller coaster, hence the title. So many emotions from Nick are in this chapter, it's crazy. He's mad at his mom, confused about everything with James. He's got all kinds of emotions when dealing with his crush on Peter plus finding out Peter likes him back, and not to mention the coming out to his parents thing, which he is terrified about so yeah. A giant, emotional mess.
Also I'm surprised I'm updating so soon after my last update, oh wow. But I hope you enjoyed!! I feel like this isn't my best though, especially that ending, but eh. I'll have to deal. But I do low key like how last chapter there was a subtext of them admitting their feelings and in this chapter, they actually are and yeah!! I think it's cool lmao. But anyway – again, I hope you liked this and don't forget to vote & comment, love you guys! xx