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I spoke to Dan early in the morning before he left and wished him well with his Aunty and before I had to go to work. I already felt a little lonely and he hadn't even gone to the airport yet. He and Lys were definitely my confidants at the moment, well, always actually. Now that he was gone I had to risk bumping into Isaac without having a diversion since Alyssa never really came to uni.
Lu was a little deflated compared to her usual self since her dad also left today. I promised to make her fried rice for dinner to try to lift her spirits and mine as well if I was being honest. She'd mentioned that she's gone longer periods of time without seeing him but it was the fact that it is her birthday in three weeks made her even sadder that she wouldn't be seeing him.
I reminded her that he'd be back by then but it didn't brighten her mood which cause me to think that if he disappears so often he probably cancels plans just as often. She wanted to spend time with him now in case he did cancel on her birthday, and for that I couldn't blame her.
I hoped that her day would get better as time went by but I just didn't quite see how it would.
Whilst she was on my mind I made the effort to call Standard to ask him about having Lu over while her dad was away. I had to remind myself as the phone was ringing to not say anything about her dad being away if I had any plans to keep my job.
"Hi Jeff, it's just me, Alex... I was wondering if Lucy might be able to stay at mine for a night or two? She was saying the other day that she wanted to meet my best friend and I thought maybe we could have a girls night?" I prayed during his long pause that he would say yes. He umm'ed and ahh'ed for a bit and my hopes started to deplete the longer this went on.
"I don't know, I'd have to contact my employer as this has never been a question before," I imagined him biting his lip in apprehension and contemplation, however, I didn't think he was the type to bite his lip. No, he was more of a stroking his metaphorical beard sort.
"Do you mind contacting them today, if it's no trouble?" My thoughts that Jeff had started to warm to me a bit more were confirmed as he spoke to me; he was gentler when he spoke and wasn't as untrusting now that I'd been with Lu for over a month.
"I'll contact them now and get back to you as soon as possible, goodbye Alexis," he hung up and I felt a small smile twitch at my lips. He was just a professional middle-aged man who really cared about his job and, to be fair, I don't think I'd trust just anybody to take care of my Lucy either.
Little things that had been nagging at the back of my brain all day. I just had the feeling that I was missing something, that something was really strange but I couldn't quite put my finger on it.
My drive to uni forced me to concentrate on the road but I couldn't help but feel my mind constantly wondering to Dan and his car. For some reason I felt as though I'd seen it before and I couldn't remember if it was just because I'd seen it so many times now or because I had actually seen it in a separate situation.
Sure, someone else might have the same car but there aren't that many Jeeps around my area.
It was just one of those weird deja vu things that pop up in your head at random times. I'd been staring at Jeeps since I was a kid and wanted one for years so maybe that's why I'd just felt like I'd seen it before.
I dismissed the thought to concentrate on my class as I set up my laptop and mini notebook.
As per usual it was a bore and I sat silently just listening to other people's opinions on the book we were studying for this module.
"I think Rochester is a misunderstood character," said a guy in the back corner of the small room.
"How so?" Asked the tutor from her spot on the table up the front.
"Well, he obviously loves Jane and wants to be with her but no one can see past the fact that he locked his wife in the tower. Perhaps, as readers, we should be looking past his cruelty and focus on his predicament instead,"
I scoffed and it drew the attention of a few people.
"Do you have a different opinion, Alexis?" Asked the tutor politely and I gawked at her for a moment before realising what I was doing.
"Oh, well, yeah but I'm happy just to listen," I waved her off with a smile and she crossed her legs.
"Please, tell us," she nodded for me to continue and I thought I saw pleading in her eyes.
"Well, I think of you locked a me in a tower I would go insane too. I guess what I'm saying is that how can we trust his opinion that she was insane when he does so many other cruel and insane things to Jane. He doesn't tell her he's married and as a result Jane is forced to leave and endures a horrible life. If he had the guts to be honest with her about his life and trusted her intelligence and the fact that she understood her own mind she wouldn't have had such a difficult time in believing in his better qualities. Why should we sympathise with him just because he saves his servants in a house fire and thus loses his eyesight when Jane was tormented by his lies? He's a fraud," I was going to continue but when I looked around it seemed as though people were bored, in disagreement or unsure of their opinion.
"Interesting theory, Alex. Thank you for enlightening us. I must say, I do agree with you in that Rochester is heavy handed in his ways..." she continued on and I tuned out not wanting to listen too intently.
I went back to Lu's after uni and did some readings as always. Only now, it wasn't only to get away from Isaac or to have a quiet place to study - it was to hide from the silence and enjoy a house that is lived in by more than one person. I looked in the fridge and clicked my tongue as I thought of what we could have for dinner. I know I'd promised Lu we'd have fried rice but, honestly, I just felt like a pizza and I had a feeling that Lu would always jump at any excuse for junk food even if it wasn't fried rice.
"How was school today?" I asked her as she jumped in the car.
"I've decided I'm not going back," she said confidently and I turned to look at her dumbfounded.
"Why, what happened?"
"I'm going to start working, I don't need school; I need money and then I can do whatever I want," she had her arms crossed and she was serious. Too serious.
I couldn't help but laugh.
"Okay, well, enjoy school as much as you can now because it's a million times worse when you finish, I promise you,"
I thought about how much I wanted to be out of school when I was in it and now that I'm out I want to be back. Such is life.
"What makes you not want to go back?" I asked in a softer tone as we neared her house.
"I'm sick of school, we never do what I'm good at. Yeah, I'm good at maths but I'm better at sport and we never do sport except on Friday afternoons." She mumbled and I nodded, fully understanding her predicament.
"I know what you mean and I feel for you but I promise, the next few years will go quicker than you expect,"
I hadn't seemed to convince her but I knew that one day she'd understand.
"Did you ask Jeff if I could stay?" She asked, her eyes gleaming with hope.
"I have and I'm just waiting to hear back from him but hopefully it'll be soon," I told her as we pulled up to her house.
I ushered her inside and fixed her something to eat, and whilst we were discussing what happened between her and a girl called Beth at school on the playground my phone began to ring.
"Hello?" I asked even though I full well knew whom it was.
"Hello Alexis, this is Jeff calling to say I've spoken to my employer and I'm very sorry but my employer feels that it would breaching the line of private and public life. Simply put, having Lu stay over wouldn't be appropriate," he said and I thought I could hear sympathy in his voice.
"Are you sure? I mean, it'll be completely safe and nothing out of the ordinary will take place," I tried not to whine but I felt if I continued talking it would end up that way.
"I'm sorry Alex, it's just how it is. Good afternoon," and he hung up. He wasn't trying to be rude, he was trying to be apologetic. That's fine, but how am I supposed to tell Lucy?
I wondered back into the kitchen slowly where Lu was sitting in apprehension and excitement.
"He said yes didn't he?" She demanded, sitting on the edge of her seat.
"I'm sorry Lu but he said no,"
He face fell and she swivelled back to sitting normally on the seat. I watched her as she fiddled with a cracker on her plate and prayed that she wouldn't be too upset.
"Maybe your parents think you'll accidentally spill some info on them," I tried to console as I poured her a glass of juice.
"Parent," she mumbled so quietly I didn't quite hear her.
"Sorry, what was that?"
"Parent," she sighed louder and I stared at her in confusion. She sighed again as she watched me. "I have one parent. My mum left me when I was a baby and I've never seen her since. I live with my dad and he's away at the moment,"
Oh.
I felt my mouth open as though I was going to say something but I shut it again as no noise came out.
"I'm so sorry Lu. If it helps, I know what it's like to only have one parent," I offered a sad smile in the hope she would see that I understood.
Instead she nodded and went to the living room with her juice.
The night was a quiet one as we had dinner and watched tv. I tucked Lu into bed with a hug and explained how sorry I was that she couldn't come over. She nodded and said she understood - which I believed - she was just disappointed. I didn't like the idea of her being left alone in the house for god knows how long so I triple checked that I locked all the doors before beginning my anxious drive home.
I had a shower, brushed my teeth and got straight into bed once I got home, wasting no time to prepare to wake up early to see Lu again.
I was troubled, however, in my effort to fall asleep by something ticking away in my head like a time bomb waiting to explode at any moment with the right key.
Dad had left when I was a teenager so I got know him - even if he wasn't such a nice person - but I got to find that out. Lu never knew her Mum, and her dad was always away. It can't be easy for Lu. Even for 'bring your parent to school' days when everyone had their mums or their dads and she had excuses.
I wondered where her dad had gone which made me think of how Dan was going in Ireland. That's when it hit me. The most absurd and ridiculous thought - not thought, theory! - so ridiculous that it made me sit bolt upright in bed, my mouth gaping like a fish.
No, it couldn't possibly work, the timelines done even match. But who's to say that Lucy isn't lying?
Dan never told me where he lived but I knew he lived on Sainsbury. Dan has enough money that if he wanted a cleaner for his house he could afford one. Dan was always at uni for classes and lectures and was there til weird hours... Liv disappeared without a trace when we were in high school and took down all her social media so we couldn't see photos - because she was pregnant!
Oh my god. Did I just potentially ruin my Dan's and my friendship?
And what about Lys! If Dan has a kid did he tell her? Why didn't he tell me? Is Lu Dan's child? If so Lu would've gotten her darker skin tone from Liv who's Mum was darker skinned.
No. No it's too irrational, it can't work. But Dan and her dad going away at the same time is too weird... and what about the look that Lucy gives Dan every time she sees him? and Dan being so interested in her soccer game? maybe Dan was so cautious about getting with Alyssa because he didn't want to have to tell her about Lucy? What if Dan hired me as a way to tell me? Or maybe he hoped I wouldn't find out?
No it can't be true. But what if it is?
Oh my god.
What have I done?
Dun dun dunnnnnn!
Is it possible that Dan is Lucy's dad? What are you all thinking? Let me know!
Also, you know the drill - let me know if you find a mistake I've overlooked and I'll get straight to fixing it :)