"Edie what the hell is going on?"
I stay silent and look at my hands. If I wasn't attached to a drip right now I would bolt out the room.
"Edie?"
I finally look up and Ross has travelled from the doorway to the end of my bed. I pat the bed slowly and he sits on the end of the bed. We stay silent for a few more minutes and the tension grows in the room. I start to feel nauseous and the room starts spinning.
"Ross" My voice is barely a whisper and his eyes widen. He comes closer and holds my face between his hands, forcing me to look at him.
"Breathe" He instructs. "Like me, come on" He breathes in and out slowly and I copy him. At first my breathing is rapid and all over the place, but in no time our breathing is in sync and I don't feel so faint anymore.
"Are you okay?" He asks and I nod. He still has his hands placed on my cheeks and for a moment I don't want him to let go. This is the first time we've been this close in days, it's all I've been wishing for. I just want all of this to go away and go back to the airport and avoid that diner all together. If we didn't go there, and I didn't see Danny, me and Ross would be happy right now.
"How long were you stood there for?" I ask.
"Quite a while"
"Do I really need to tell you what's going on?" I whisper. There's no hiding it now. If he doesn't know what's going on then he's clueless.
"This can't be happening" His hand falls back to his lap and he leans away from me. "Are you sure they haven't made a mistake?"
"No" I try not to laugh, this is a serious matter. This can change mine and Ross's future, our lives forever. This could break us even more then we already are. We're broken and we need to fix this, one way or another.
"So...you're pregnant" He looks stunned, staring at the wall and I know I have to give him time to process this all but I need to know what to do.
"Yes...ten weeks" I say slowly and his eyes snap to me and I feel my stomach sink.
"Ten weeks? That's over two months!" Ross's stunned mood has changed dramatically suddenly he's off the bed and staring down at me.
"I know"
"But...two months Edie!" He runs his hands through his hair. "How long have you known?"
"Only since I got here" I tell him.
"How could you not know that you were pregnant! I mean, don't girls, doesn't your...you know, your period stop?" He panics. I felt anger bubble inside me, does he think I've been keeping this to myself for weeks?
"I was a bit distracted to realise I'd missed a period Ross!" He stays silent and I can't help my outburst. "I was a bit busy making sure I was able to walk again, getting kicked out of Julliard, moving back to California! So no, I had no fucking clue I was pregnant and don't you dare think I tried keeping this a secret"
"Sorry..." He mumbles.
"I'm as shocked as you are trust me" I sigh. "What shall we do?"
"What do you mean?" Ross says quickly.
"About this?" I point to my stomach and Ross's eyes widen.
"I don't know" He says. "This is all a bit too much"
"Well I need a plan soon Ross"
"What do you want to do?" He asks. I look down at my hands, I don't want to admit to him I'm thinking of an abortion. I just want what's best for me and Ross, because right now our relationship is the one thing that means most to be. I need to know we will be okay, before I think about having a child with him.
I sound awful.
But it's how I feel.
"I see..." Ross looks down and it becomes awkward again. I just can't believe he's actually here, why the hell is he here? I thought he wanted nothing to do with me?
"What the fuck have we done Edie" He sighs. "This wasn't how I wanted to spend my eighteenth year, finding out we're going to have a baby"
And he thinks this is what I wanted?
"We don't have to have it you know, we could wait" I say, my voice barely a whisper.
"Wait?"
"Yeah...until we're ready..." I don't know what the hell I'm trying to do here, I don't even know if he still loves me. But I want to be with him, no matter how many times we argue or break-up. It will always be him.
"Until we're ready?"
"Will you stop questioning every I say" I try not to giggle but it's inevitable, he joins in with me, which relaxs me a bit.
"Why are you here?" I ask, not even letting myself process the sentence before it falls from my lips. Ross raises his eyebrow and gives me a small smile.
"Shall I go?" He jokes, or at least I think he's joking.
"No!"
"Then I'll stay" He smiles sweetly. "But we need to talk about this"
"Just not right now?" I beg.
"Fine"
"Why did you come here though?" I ask, I'm curious. And everything is up in the air already, so why not ask him, I'm risking everything with him already.
"Because....my dad told me too" He looks down at the floor and I feel my heart sink. It was only Mark telling him to see me, probably so I don't end up crying myself to sleep again, seems like that's going to be the situation right now.
"Because he can see how much I love you...and I was to scared to come here and tell you" He looks up from the ground and his hazel eyes meet my blue ones. I hold my breath waiting for him to add something onto the sentence about how it won't work but that never comes.
He loves me.
He still loves me.
"I love you" He says and shuffles closer to me.
"I love you too, I never stopped" I feel like crying, well I am crying by this point. I can't keep a hold of my emotions.
"What a mess" He leans his forehead against mine.
"Our mess" I smile.
"Our mess" He repeats.
...
Finally I'm being discharged from the hospital, even if it is 10pm.
"Well, I hope everything goes well" Ashley hugs me as Ross grabs my last bag and stands awkwardly in the doorway. Obviously seeing me and his ex girlfriend get one so well, especially with the past we've all had with each other. I was a little confused and uncomfortable at first but Ashley has changed and I'm glad she's been there for me these past couple of days.
"Meet you at the car?" I ask Ross and he nods, I could tell he was wanting to leave the room, I just finally gave him the excuse too. He left quickly leaving me alone with Ashley.
"So you told him?" I nod and she smiles. "Have you two decided on anything?"
"No, I don't think we've even processed it properly" I sigh. "I just don't think this is right for us...we're not ready"
"Well, you have my number, so I'm always here, but you might want to decide soon" She says and I nod. I know I won't have long before more signs such showing.
"Good luck" She smiles, hugging me tightly. "Now I hate to leave, but I should of started my rounds fifteen minutes ago, bye!"
...
"Home sweet home" Ross says, with a hint of sarcasm, laced in his voice.
"Is everyone asleep?"
"Probably, so lets just go up to bed and we'll speak to everyone in the morning"
"Let's hope we don't wake Ryland"
"We don't have to worry about that anymore" He smiles, walking up to the door and slowly opening it. We slowly make our way inside and instead of going upstairs Ross carried on straight towards the door for the basement.
"What are you-"
"Shh, and just follow me" He instructs, I shut my mouth and follow him down the stairs, he switches on the light and walks towards the spare room. The room where all of the bands spare instruments and amps were kept throughout the years.
Ross opened up the door and I instantly cover my mouth. The whole room has been transformed. A large double bed sits against the all furthest away from the door. The walls have been freshly painted and a large desk sits at the other end of the room.
"It's nothing much" Ross shrugs. "We can put something up on the walls and I'm sure-"
"I love it" I interrupt. "I absolutely love it"
"Good, I'm glad" He smiles. I can't help myself but grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him hard. He hesitates for a moment but he finally kisses me back.
It's the most relieving feeling ever.
"Come on, let's go to bed" He pulls away and I kiss him one last time lightly. I go over to the closet full of mine and Ross's clothes. I can't believe he's even sorted out our clothes. I grab one of Ross's shirts and quickly change. He strips down into his boxers and climbs into bed, I follow his actions and I instantly feel like I'm about to pass out once Ross covers me with the blanket.
"This is much better then sharing a single bed in the same room as your brother" I smile, I feel his chest against my back and I smile knowing he's not trying to keep his distance.
"I thought you'd say that" I know he's smirking behind me. He switches off the light leaving us in darkness. I suddenly feel his hand slowly make it's way to my stomach.
"Is there actually a baby in there?" He whispers.
"Yes" We stay silent and I can't help but tell him what I learned. "Apparently it has fingertips already and it can feel pain. It's turning into a proper baby" My voice cracks and Ross's grip on me tightens.
"And when I came in, was that really a heartbeat?"
"Yes"
Thinking back to hearing that heartbeat makes me realise how real this all this. That this is real and it's happening to me and Ross. Out of all people, this has to happen to us. But how can I make a decision to carry this on or end it when I know something else is alive, it has a beating heart and it's up to me to choose it's fate.
(Yay! I updated again! How are you guys liking the book? Still dramatic/interesting enough for you all? Tell me what you think! I'd loved to know! I will try and update again soon!)