It was a normal day. I still couldn't believe what that tosser had done to me. When mum asked why my wrist was so red I had to lie and say I twisted it by accident at Sarah's house, cos David was there, watching me closely. I had already taken the morning after pill to stay safe, for the thousandth time. As usual I was at work covering my face with the plastic smile I had mastered over the years. I had to stack and it was killing my wrist. It was still quite limp but I didn't want to bandage it or anything, it would draw attention and way too many qustions, especially from school. I sighed and arranged the trainers in the right order. I got bored of doing that, plus Nathan was being abit off with me all because I missed his call. I didn't know what to do, he just wouldn't talk to me, or even look at me for that matter. I felt like a right bitch. Especially with his family issues, he must hate me now. I looked over at the counter, Rebecca served another purchaser, as they walked off she screwed their back and rubbed her face. She looked awfully stressed. She then banged her head against the counter like she always did. Poor thing. I went over to her.
"Hey, Becc's!" She looked up at me and blinked.
"Hi." She mumbled. I raised an eyebrow. This really wasn't like her at all.
"What's up?"
"Nothing. Just can't wait to go home. I'm so tired." I nodded slowly.
"I see..." I hopped on the counter and faced her. I wanted to know the real deal, what was bothering her and everything. After all, I have all these issues and no-one knows, probably wouldn't care either. I wanted to help people out with their problems, give a little back to people, so they don't end up with a split personality, just like me. There was something wrong with her, I felt the need to know. "What's wrong?" She gave me a blank look.
"What do you mean?"
"I can tell when you're pissed off about something. What is it?" She scratched her head.
"Nothing, honestly I'm fine. Just wish I could stack today, but BB said I had to do this shit." She tutted. I laughed.
"BB?"
"Bald Bastard." I laughed and nodded. Very clever, why didn't I think of that?
"Riiiight." I realised she had been drawing on her hand, like I used to do in year 6, but I stopped that once I heard of ink poisoning, I didn't wanna risk anything. She was really good at designs though, I can see it on her hand. She drew a nice K in coercive. Then an A, then a Y... I raised an eyebrow. She looked so focused as she sketched the D... what was she doing? I watched in awe as she finally drew then E, then the N with a little curl at the tip, not only that, but a love heart too. What the bloody 'ell?
K A Y D E N <3
I gasped and she peered at me. I don't think she realised what she had just done.
"What?" She asked.
"Do you realise what you're drawing?"
"Yeah... letters, duh." She laughed. She really didn't get it. I clicked my fingers in her face and she blinked.
"Rebecca, your mind must be absent." I said getting worried. She gave me an odd look.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
"LOOK!" I grabbed her hand and shoved it right infront of her face. Her eye's widened, I think she finally saw the light.
She screamed, like really loudly, all the attention was on her. She began rubbing her hand frantically to try and get rid of it, but it was too late. It was there to stay. I was laughing so hard I could have pee'd my pants, good thing I didn't, but her facial expression was well hilarious! She kept trying but failing, it was bloody funny I tell ya. I finally stopped laughing and gave a deep sigh.
"So you don't like him Becc's?" I asked taking the mick.
"No." She said quietly.
"You wrote his name on your hand."
"...."
"In capital letters."
"...."
"With a heart at the end."
"...."
"And-"
"I don't like him Stacey!"
"So why write him on your hand? You're well weird."
"I didn't realise." She muttered, seeming worried. I couldn't help but smile, she keeps trying to convince herself but she can't fool me. I know there's something else there, he had to be in her head for her to write his name like that. Brilliant! They'd suit big time! She slowly turned to me, she could tell what I was thinking. "Stacey I swear to God..." She started.
"What? I'm not saying anything." I defended.
"Then stop grinning gums at me." I laughed and she began looking at me weirdly. I was wondering what, but then realised my bruised face must be getting noticeable now. Crap. "What the hell happened to you?" She asked. I blinked repeatedly.
"What?" I asked quietly.
"Your cheek and your eye... you looked fucked up." I laughed and got my mirror out to see how bad it was. Yep, very bad. You could blatantly see it there, all on show with my pale white skin. Arghh.
"Oh... erm, that's nothing." I said not seeming bothered.
"What happened Stace?"
"I kinda... bumped into something." I smiled nervously. She gave me a knowing look. Rebecca wasn't stupid.
"Don't bullshit me Stacey." I looked around for any distraction, then back at her whilst clearing my throat.
"I have to put my stuff away." I said. I quickly walked off before she could say anything more. I sighed and went to the staff-room and made a glass of water. I drank it down quickly and tried to compose myself. I breathed deeply and got my mirror back out and checked the cuts and bruises which David gave to me. I got my make-up out my locker and began re-applying since it didn't seem to do justice before. I heard the door and span around to see Nathan stood there staring at me. I gave him a nervous look. He stared at me as he walked towards his locker, which unfortunately was right next to mine. The bloody irony! We gave each other strong eye-contact then he looked away after a few seconds. I was really beginning to wonder if he hates me or not, what's the dealio here? I decided to ignore his presence and continue slapping more foundation over the purplish bruise on my cheek, it was killing!
"You don't need make-up." I heard. I shifted my eyes to witness him staring at me.
"I do." I replied quietly carrying on.
"Nah, you don't. I already told you, but no-one listens to man." He shrugged and walked to the door. I thought about what he had just said and looked at him. He opened the door.
"Wait," He looked back at me, "don't go." He slowly turned his body and peered at me curiously. I sighed and put the foundation away. "I think we should talk." He slowly shook his head.
"I need to get back to work-"
"No, please." He gave me a cold glare then leaned against the door.
"Talk then." I breathed deeply and sat at the table near the sink.
"I know you must think I've been avoiding your calls, but that's not the case."
"Oh really?" He raised an eyebrow. I nodded.
"Really. I feel bad but I've had a rough couple of weeks, I just wanted time to myself really."
"You could have said." I looked down at my fingers.
"I know, sorry."
"Man thought you just wanted to take the piss and blank me." I glanced at him.
"No never, I'm not that much of a cow." He smiled slightly, "how's the family issues going?" He looked away.
"Not good." I frowned.
"Oh, well okay, I'm really sorry about that too. When you need someone to talk to I'll be there." He nodded.
"Safe." I smiled and he looked at me oddly.
"What?"
"What happened?" He pointed to the slight cut on my lip. I quickly covered it.
"Nothing, I had a... disagreement with my mate. Nothing serious." He stepped closer.
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah sure." I smiled weakly and he nodded.
"Looks bad though, and your eye."
"Don't worry, it'll go soon."
"Aight, well I'm gonna finish off the shelf, you coming?"
"Yep." I gave him a thumbs up and he smiled. It was good to see him smile again. The last couple of weeks he's been glum, so this was a drastic change. He left and I quickly went back to my locker and applied some lipstick to cover the cut. These bruises seem like they're not gonna disappear anytime soon. God help me!
I sighed and got off the bus, my wrist were seriously killing me in a way you wouldn't imagine. After work me and Nathan had a good little chat, we needed it, and I missed talking to him so it was awesome! Becca was kinda in a rush to leave cos she wanted to go home and nap. I on the other hand was heading to see a special someone to add the cherry on-top of my day. My ringtone sounded and I looked at the caller ID then smiled slightly.
Me: "Hey."
Jav: "Where are you?"
Me: "I just got off the bus, I can't see you though."
Jav: "Keep walking up, you'll see me."
Me: "Okie dokie." I carried on walking and passed a group of hooded youths, they all fell silent as I passed. One of them whistled and I continued walking.
"Swing that my way babe!" I rolled my eyes and ignored the ignorant fool.
Jav: "Who was that?"
Me: "No idea, some twat." He laughed.
Jav: "Keep walking." As I walked my stomach was beginning to hurt, like really kill. I needed to sit down but I didn't want to keep Javon waiting. I held my stomach and walked.
Jav: "I can see you." I looked around.
Me: "Where are ya mate?" He laughed. I looked dead ahead and saw him all the way down the road waving his arm. I laughed. "Ahh I see you."
Jav: "Walk then."
Me: "No please my belly's killing me!" He laughed.
Jav: "Aight wait there." I agreed and hung up the phone. When he got close enough he hugged me, I inhaled his scent, it was lush. He looked down at me sympathetically. "What's wrong wid your stomach?"
"I dunna, it's probably nothing," I looked down at my watch, "we should get going, we're gonna be late." He nodded and rested his arm around my shoulder as we walked to his car. We got inside and I sniffed.
"I really love the new car smell." I said putting my seatbelt on with my good hand. He rolled his eyes.
"It's not new Stace."
"It smells brilliant. I wouldn't mind a perfume like this actually." He laughed and started the car and drove. Being next to Javon felt right, like natural in a way. What Aaron did still hurt me, but Jay cheered me up and made me forget, about everything really, and for that I was grateful. When I was with him I was calmer, and didn't worry about anything, also those old feelings for him would come flooding back. No matter how hard I tried to restrain, I couldn't help liking him again, stronger than I used to before-hand. I remember the days when he never realised my existence, back then I was just 'Chloe's chubby friend' to him, now we were close, and better off this way.
"Does Clo know?" I asked looking out the window. He sighed.
"I don't see what the problem is, we're going for a day out, we shouldn't have to hide from her." I continued to stare outside.
"What did you tell her?" I said quietly. He rolled his eyes.
"Out wid friends." He answered. I nodded slowly. Even though Chloe and I weren't on talking terms, I still felt quite bad for being with her older brother, made me seem like a bitch in a way, she doesn't have to know, I don't want her to. "Have you heard from him yet?" He asked referring to Aaron. I shook my head.
"Not since he confessed. I heard he moved to Lewisham." He nodded slowly.
"You're over him doh right?" I glanced at him, he was so handsome, what did he see in me? I didn't deserve him at all. I smiled.
"Most definitely." I said. He laughed.
"Good. I told you Stace; keep the single life for a bit, you'd enjoy it." I frowned.
"But I thought you-"
"Yeah, but I don't wanna rush you into anything, I'd never do that. Take your time. What I done was wrong, I assumed you wanted me when really you was confused. I don't want you to stress over that, so just enjoy being single. At least a month."
"You didn't rush me." I said, he sighed.
"Don't worry about it, let's just focus on today yeah?" I nodded slowly. We soon got to the ODEON cinema and paid for our tickets and popcorn. We headed to screen 10 and the film had already begun. We created noise as we went to take a seat. We sat down and shared our popcorn. I've always wondered how good Inception was. I've had different views from people. Sarah and Rochelle said it was okay, just hard to follow whereas Tyler and Kayden said it was shit. I wanted to see for myself. So far it was wickid. Leonardo Di'Caprio was well fit though, like seriously. Even in Titanic and Romeo & Juliet he was hot, I wouldn't mind being with him, he was too old now though. Bummer. Half way through Javon stole some of my drink and slurped it loudly. I giggled and we got a few looks from people.
"You didn't ask." He gave me a cheeky grin.
"Too bad." He whispered. I gave him evils and grabbed my drink away. "I'm bored Stace." He whispered. I wasn't paying attention, I was now too busy focusing on the movie. He groaned and took my popcorn. "Stace." He whispered. I turned to him and he threw popcorn in my face. I gave him evils.
"Stop." I said quietly.
"This is boring, can we go?"
"It's not over."
"Come on, we can go back to mine."
"Shhh!" I heard from up front. I laughed.
"Javon keep quiet before we get kicked out." I warned. He kissed his teeth and ate more popcorn. A few hours later it ended, the lights came on and people began to leave. I was happy I came to see this, it was so worthwhile. Well brilliant. I turned to Javon to see he was asleep, like literally conked out. I laughed and tapped his shoulder but he still didn't budge. I pushed him lightly and he opened his eyes.
"Hmm?" He looked so tired, bless him.
"You fell asleep Jay, it's over, we can go." He mumbled something then stood up and stretched. He scratched his head and we left. As we walked to his car he was going through his phone and not paying attention.
"That was well good." I said. He tutted.
"If I fall asleep during a movie what does that tell you?"
"Erm... That you're tired?"
"No, that it's shit." I frowned and he unlocked the car. We sat inside and he started the engine.
"That's not fair, you didn't really give it a chance."
"I did, the first 10 minutes, boring." I laughed, "wanna get something to eat?" I shook my head.
"No it's okay, let's just go back to yours." He nodded.
"Yeah and I can sleep, those chairs were uncomfortable, hurts my tushie." He screwed. I laughed and went to put my seatbelt on but used my bad hand instead. I felt the soreness.
"Oww." I muttered. He looked at me.
"What's wrong?" My wrist was still killing me, it was actually throbbing now. I covered my wrist with my good hand and bit my lip to subside the pain.
"Nothing, I'm fine." I assured. He looked down at my hands and moved them out the way. He saw the purple bruise and he stared.
"What happened to you?"
"I had an accident." I muttered.
"What accident?"
"I was playfighting with my friend and kinda landed wrong." He touched it softly and I winced, it hurt like a bitch.
"Silly girl." He laughed and started the engine then began to drive, "when we get back we'll sort that out."
"Okay." He drove and it was silent for awhile. I hated it, I hated lying but I didn't wanna tell anybody about the abuse. David was an evil man who deserved to be locked away for good, I'd tell someone but something was holding me back, something strong. He glanced at me quickly before turning back to the road.
"You okay?"
"Yeah sure, just thinking." I muttered.
"Isn't it your birthday soon?" I watched him in shock.
"You remembered?" He laughed.
"Yeah, I could never forget. So what you doing for it?" I shrugged uninterested.
"Nothing, I'd rather stay in me house and relax." He nodded slowly.
"Why don't you go out with your friends?" I looked out the window.
"Maybe, we'll see."
"Rightio." I laughed and we got back to Chloe's. We got in and he went straight to the kitchen to get something for my wrist so I headed to living-room. My feet were knackered and I haven't even walked a lot today. I stood in shock as Chloe was sat on the chair doing her nails. She turned to look at me then raised an eyebrow. I wasn't expecting her to be here, I remembered her ditching me for Matthew twice, and making me feel like complete shit. It was coming back to me so I just stared at her and said nothing. She was silent as well. She stood up then slowly advanced towards me. The clothes she wore were really revealing; a shiny black boob tube and tight 3/4 length trousers. Her hair was back in one and the foundation literally caked her face. Even I don't do my make-up that much. I watched her closely and she done the same, then gave me evils as she walked right passed me and left the room. I stood there not doing anything and thinking about what just happened. What a bitch, she didn't even wanna talk to me or ask me why I was here, nothing! Well stuff her then. I went and sat down on the sofa and immediately felt relaxed. A few seconds later I heard the door slam and rolled my eyes. Fucking bitch. Probably going to fuck Matthew again, that's all she ever does now. The dude was old enough to be her dad. That's just cringe. Javon came in shortly after with a roll of bandages and some solutions. He sat next to me and I sighed.
"Where's she gone?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Dunno, she never said." He kissed his teeth and gently held my arm and watched my throbbing wrist.
"Looks sore, when did this happen?" I scratched my head.
"Yesterday." He shook his head.
"It's swollen, that's bad Stace, are you sure there's something you're not telling me?" I sighed.
"No."
"Your eyes swollen abit aswell."
"I know, that's okay." He gave me an unsure look so I turned my head elsewhere. He took care of my wrist and bandaged it up nice and firm. It felt secure, like I could actually hold stuff in that hand now cos it was supported in a way. When he was done I thanked him and we had a little chat, just as mates, but I wanted him badly. Why was he doing this to me? He's making me yearn for him yet he's telling me to wait. That's just rude. I sighed and felt depressed about it, I needed his love and affection, but he wants me as a friend, it wasn't fair. He stood up and stretched.
"That film was so shit, got me tired." He yawned and left the room. I giggled and followed after him. I got into his room to see him pulling off his top and exposing his muscles and broad chest. I sighed and was beginning to feel all weird inside. He got into bed and laid down then yawned again. I slowly approached the bed and he looked at me then smiled.
"You wanna lie with me Stace?" I looked around and slowly nodded. I got in and laid next to him. He laughed lightly and stroked my arm, oh God... "Remember when we used to do this, when Chloe weren't here?" I stared and bit my lip.
"Mmhmm." He smiled and looked up at the ceiling.
"And play games in the dark, that was fun too." I remembered that, vividly, how could I forget? I sighed and shivered at the feel of his fingertips tracing up and down my arm. He breathed lightly and closed his eyes. Just watching him like that was turning me on, he didn't even have to do anything, he was only lying there and I wanted to do stuff to him. I slowly edged closer and closer till his body was touching mine. I pictured what happened last time; him ontop of me, kissing me and caressing my body. Now I wish I never stopped him, I wanted it to happen again, I was in that mood. His bare chest was speaking to me, I wanted to feel it. My breathing became heavier. "What time you going home Stace?" He suddenly asked quietly. I snapped out of it.
"Erm.. I dunna, soon." He turned his head and looked at me. His wonderful brown eyes and his serious facial expression was so hot. His neatly cut moustache and mild hair on his chin, every single feature on his face was beginning to excite me. He blinked slowly and I stared at him.
"You want me to take you home soon?" I nodded in a daze. He closed his eyes again, "gimme an hour then b, mans tired." Ohh, I honestly don't mind you sexy bastard. I giggled at my thoughts and he opened one eye. "What's funny?"
"Nothing don't worry." He smiled and held my waist genly, it made my heartbeat increase and my breathing grow heavy. I watched him as he gradually began to fall asleep. I couldn't take my eyes off him, he was so fit, like really really nice! I couldn't stare at him forever though, plus I needed to piss. I quickly got up and went to use the bathroom. Whilst I was in there I applied more make-up and lipgloss to give my lips extra shine. I fiddled around with my hair and used Chloe's brush to go through it throughly. Maybe that's what it is, he wants to wait cos he wasn't sure if he wanted me or not, maybe I'm hideous and he needed second thought. I sighed and stared at myself in the mirror. My face weren't always slim, I did used to be on the chubby side but I managed to lose all that, so what was the problem? No more love-handles, no more fat cheeks, what was it that was so repulsive? David always did tell me no man would ever want me, and would always remind me how useless I was, maybe that's it. Maybe all the make-up didn't do anything really, it's just me thinking that would actually make me look attractive. I looked down at my belly which was beginning to hurt again, all I saw was pure fatness, it was disgusting. I prodded my stomach and my finger actually went deep, was my belly that fat and cushiony? "Fat bitch, look at you." I said spitefully. I prodded it again and the same thing happened. It's like I don't deserve anyone. Urghh I'm so stressed! I sighed and felt my phone go off. The word Devil began to flash. After a brief hesitation I answered and remained silent.
David: "Oi! Where the fuck are ya?!" I breathed deeply.
Me: "I'm with Sarah."
David: "Did I say you could be with Sarah ya ugly bitch!"
Me: "No."
David: "Then what the fuck are ya waiting for eh? Get over here now!"
Me: "I ain't ready yet."
David: "The bloody 'ell you ain't! Don't make me ave ta come get ya meself!"
Me: "Leave me alone."
David: "You what?!"
Me: "Fuck off!" I hung up and left the bathroom. He can get stuffed and burn in hell, I may never go back. He's not me father, he can't tell me what to do, and it's about time I make sure he realises, after 6 whole years. I went back to his room and sat next to him. He was still sleeping, what a beaut. He was truly fit. I switched on the TV and watched any ol' rubbish for about an hour, until he began to fidget and move about. I watched him and felt that weird feeling bounce back. He was so sexy, and he could be all mine if I played my cards right. But I just cannot for the life of me be patient. I've waited forever for this. I stared at him closely. His lips were begging for me to kiss them. I wanted to feel him, I needed to. But what if he got angry at me? I quickly took out my phone and text Rochelle.
-Chelle, wat wud yu do if there was a super hot boy in front of yu sleeping? Wud yu kiss him?
After a few seconds she replied;
-I'd do more than tht hun! Why?
-I'll explain l8r, taa x
I put my phone away and hesitated for abit, then I slowly moved my face closer and pecked his lips softly, he didn't move. He continued to sleep soundly. Once wasn't enough so I decided to do It again, I dunna what came over me, but I wanted him. Third time lucky. I kissed him fully on the lips and stroked his chest slowly. He responded and began to kiss me back, still with his eyes closed. I kissed him deeper and moved my hand down to his crotch. He then pulled me on top of him and held me tight as we kissed. I don't know how long it lasted but I was sure enjoying myself. His lips were so soft and he was such a great kisser. I couldn't believe this was happening. He pulled away and opened his eyes and I gave him a shy smile. He didn't smile back though, he just looked at me. I was beginning to think it was a bad idea when suddenly he flipped me round and got ontop. He laid gentle kisses on my neck, I sighed and closed my eyes.
"Don't tempt me Stace, I won't be able to stop." He whispered. I rubbed his back and opened my eyes.
"Don't." I said. He kissed me deeply and I held onto the waist of his jeans and began to fiddle with his belt. He stroked my thigh and I moaned into his mouth. This was what I wanted, I've been craving this moment for ages, since year 6, now it was gonna happen. I can finally be with someone I like. I got his jeans down as he slid his tongue in my mouth. My hormones were going crazy, as well as my mind. I wanted us to do this. I know he only recently started to like me, but I could tell he was ready and I definately was. I put my hand in his boxers and played with his penis gently. He sighed and looked at me. I gave him a look and guided his hands down to my jeans.
"Pull them down." I whispered on his lips. I was so ready for this, I wanted him badly. He moved his hands away and got up then pulled his jeans back up. Even then I could still see the bulge.
"No Stace." He said firmly. I sighed and sat up.
"Why not?"
"Just no." He went over to his draw and opened it, then pulled out a top and slid it on. I frowned and sat there fiddling with my fingers as he went through his wardrobe looking for something. It was quiet for atleast 5 minutes.
"Why aren't you attracted to me?" I asked quietly. He looked at me slowly.
"What?"
"Well you don't wanna have sex with me, I must be unattractive right?" He moved away from his wardrobe and watched me, then came and sat back on the bed and peered right at me.
"That doesn't mean you're unattractive."
"What does it mean then? Do you just not like me anymore? Is that why I have to wait? So in a months time you can find another girl and leave me just like that?" He shook his head.
"No. Never. Course I'm attracted to you, and I'd love to have sex wid you, but it's not that."
"What then Javon? Cos I feel horrible about this, like I'm wasting my time here." He rested his hand on my leg.
"You're not wasting your time." He said softly.
"Is it my age?"
"Nah I don't care about that."
"Then what! You're making me wait, for what purpose?"
"You only just came out of a relationship, if we rush into it now it might complicate things." I raised an eyebrow.
"How?" He smiled slightly.
"I know what I'm talking about, you're just gonna have to be patient and wait."
"But I can't."
"Why?" I sighed.
"I... I wanna feel loved, I just wanna be with you. I can't believe I'm actually telling you this, but I've had these feelings for ages now, I just want you." He smiled and kissed me gently on the lips.
"You won't have to wait for long, enjoy the single life." I nodded slowly.
"Okay, fine." He stroked my leg.
"Good girl," he leaned closer and whispered, "doesn't mean we can't still do stuff." I smiled slowly.
"What stuff?"
"Anything you want, not sex though, don't wanna take advantage of you." I nodded.
"Okay so what else is there?" He looked down at my jeans and smiled.
"Lay down." He said. I laid back slowly and he pulled down my jeans, then looked at my knickers.
"Mm, remember this game Stace?" He slowly pulled down my knickers and touched me gently. I closed my eyes and sighed. His warm fingers were doing something to me, I was already wet. He rubbed my area softly and I moaned. I felt his finger near my hole and felt relaxed. I dunna, I had no fear or worry with him, I know he'd do it right. I felt his finger gradually push through, I rested my head back and groaned. He kissed me as his finger did the work. It felt good to do this with no rough force, with David it was only to please him, and cause hurt and pain for me in my account. I balled my fists up and felt all good inside. It was remarkable. "You know I like you Stace." He whispered. I nodded slowly and kept my eyes shut. Everything was just perfect, I've never felt so good before. "So you're gonna wait yeah?"
"Mmhmm." I sighed.
"And we can take this slow."
"Yeahhh," he kissed me and twisted his finger a little, "go deeper Jay." I muttered. He kissed my neck.
"What's the magic word?"
"Pleaseeee, Javon please..." He added another finger and pushed them both deep, like really deep. I moaned loudly and felt on top of the world. I'd scream if I had the mind to, but I just couldn't. I held onto his arm and bit my lip.
"Uhh, oh my..." I groaned and breathed heavily. It was like a miracle, I was so light headed. He kissed me and picked up speed. He breathed on my lips and told me to say his name, I obeyed and he went even quicker. I moaned loudly as he twisted his fingers and kissed my neck. Soon I trembled and came and he pulled his fingers out slowly. I kissed him and felt so much better. He smiled and I felt out of breath. This was more than the game we used to play. I remembered it so well...
He fiddled with my hair and looked down into my eyes. He was so buff, even better than Justin Timberlake, he was the best. I felt so special whenever I was around him, he had this effect on me.
"How many boys have you kissed Stace?" He asked. I thought about it carefully.
"You, Arthur, Jermaine and Coby." He nodded and kissed my neck.
"Do you like it when they kiss you?" I shrugged my shoulders.
"Not Coby."
"Why not?"
"It's all slobbery and disgusting, and I don't like him anymore." He laughed.
"What happened?"
"I only went out with him for a week because he said he liked my friend instead. But I knew he was lying because in the lunch hall he said she was gross. He only broke up with me because he saw Arthur kiss me in class, but it wasn't my fault." He nodded slowly as he touched my hair.
"Do you like when I kiss you then?" I nodded and he smiled, "Am I the best?" I covered my face with my hands and nodded shyly. He laughed and moved my hands away. "Why you hiding for?" I shrugged when really I knew the ansewer. He kissed my lips softly and I giggled. He got off of me and looked at me. "Our game Stace, you wanna play?" I nodded and he lay back. I put my hand into his school trousers, then his boxers. I felt it and he smiled. I rubbed on it slowly; even in the dark I could see he was closing his eyes. "Harder," he said softly. I done what he said and he began making these weird noises like he always did, it reminded me of David, but he was gross and he always made me do it. He was different though. I'd do anything to make Chloe's big brother happy, I want him to like me, he has to be happy. I don't actually know why David and Javon liked this but I never complained. He kept saying my name over and over again, and grunting really loudly. Soon he done a really loud noise, like he hurt himself, and I felt the slimey gooey stuff on my hand, like the PVA glue we used to make our parents' cards with last month. It always happened, it was all sticky on my hand. Javon gave me some tissue to wipe the glue off my hand so I did, then threw the tissue in the bin. He sat up and looked down at me, but I could only see some of his face in the dark. This reminded me of the school disco cos it was dark and Luke tried to kiss me but his face was gross so I said no. The only difference was Javon wasn't gross, and I'd never say no to him. Never.
He smiled at me and touched my hair.
"You excited about secondary school?" He asked. I nodded and grinned.
"I know it's better than primary, and there's a lot more lessons." He touched my arm.
"There is." I watched him for a minute.
"What's it like?" He shrugged.
"It's not that different, you'll see when you come to mine, it takes a lot of getting used to doh cos obviously the school's bigger. But in my year you have to pick your options, that's the only ting." I blinked repeatedly.
"Options? What options?" He shook his head and smiled.
"Don't worry that's not important right now." He moved closer and poked my boob, and it hurt. I whimpered and he touched it gently. It was all sore and uncomfortable. "How does that hurt?" He asked.
"I don't know," he kept moving his hands over them and it made me feel weird.
"You have breasts already and you're only 11. They're nice." He said. I hid my face and he laughed.
"They hurt." I muttered.
"Mm, maybe cos you're still developing, which means they're gonna get even bigger." I shook my head.
"I don't want them to."
"But it's nice, I can actually feel them, bigger than Jannine's." He smiled. Janine was his girlfriend from school. I've seen her a few times, she was real pretty but I was jealous, she gets to have him whenever I'm not around. He carried on touching me. I let him, I want him to like me, even more than Jannine. He kissed me and opened my legs. I began to panic and look around, the lights were still off and there was no other people in the house. Chloe's mum and dad were out for the night, and Clo had gone to pick something up at her grandma's, that was like an hour ago. "Let's play another game." He said on my lips. I gulped.
"Are you sure it isn't wrong?" I asked quietly. He kissed me and rubbed my leg.
"Course it isn't, its only a game. You like me so there's nothing wrong." I wanted to ask if he liked me back, but I didn't want to jinx anything. Just stay quiet Stacey. He touched my leg and smiled.
"O-okay." He gripped onto my school skirt and lifted it up.
"Have you ever been wet before?" He whispered. I slowly shook my head. I remember David saying something to me like that, actually he's said it lots of times, but I still didn't have a clue.
"You mean like in a pool?" He slowly shook his head.
"I can show you." He said with a smile. He slid his hands into my knickers and did stuff to me. It made me shiver and shake, but it felt good in a way. He rubbed on a special area that made my whole body jump. He must like me, he always kisses me and makes me feel good about myself. Maybe he does like me, why else would he play these games? I covered my face and felt like crying, but in a good way. Wait till I tell Philippa tomorrow at school, she'll go mental.
"Whatever you do, don't scream." He said quietly. I made a noise and he kissed me.
"Shhh Stace, don't scream. This is our little secret." ...
That night was something I could never forget. Even though I was in year 6 and he was in year 9, it felt right. I didn't feel it was wrong at the time, but him doing all that made me like him even more. If it weren't for David that would have been the first time it happened to me, but I wouldn't have cried or begged him to stop. Javon made me feel special. I cleaned myself up and was beginning to feel drowsy.
"Tired?" I nodded. He kissed me on the cheek and got under the covers with me. I relaxed and closed my eyes. He kissed on my neck and rubbed my stomach. "My mums coming back in 2 months." He announced.
"Aw, I bet you've missed her."
"Yeah like mad, it's been ages." He sighed and watched the ceiling.
"I can't wait to see her. Does Chloe know?" He shrugged.
"She don't give two shits, she takes advantage of the fact that she ain't around. My girl barely stays in the yard, when I'm sleeping she leaves, or whenever I'm occupied she sneaks out. She thinks I won't do anything, I'm watching her. When she gets back today it'll be over trust me." I nodded.
"That must really tick you off."
"She's lucky I don't fuck her up. I'm a good person, she fucking abuses my trust. You better tell your friend that as soon as she gets back she ain't leaving the house again." I laughed.
"I think that's best." That way she won't be getting Matthews cock, dumb bimbo. He looked at me and I stared into his lush eyes. For some reason he reminded me of Nathan. I don't know what it was because they didn't even look the same. Odd.
"What?" He asked. I shook my head.
"Nothing you're just really nice." He laughed.
"I'm thinking of growing a goatee, what you think?"
"No please, I like your face the way it is." He laughed.
"And I like yours the way it is," he kissed me, "I remember when you used to be chubby."
"Argh no don't, please." I sighed and he laughed.
"You was cute."
"You didn't even notice me then." He stroked my hair.
"I did, it was cute the way you used to waddle around in our frontroom." I gasped.
"How dare you, that's exaggeration!" He started laughing.
"It was adorable, your lil rolls and your chubby fingers." My mouth dropped. I gave him evils and turned away from him. He was still laughing.
"Stace-"
"Fuck off, I'm not your friend." He chuckled.
"All you ate in this house were them rolls my mum used to buy, remember, wid the cream in the middle?"
"Fuck you." He laughed.
"I never got to have any, you and your fat ass ate it all to yourself, mum had to buy an extra 2 packs." I ignored him and he carried on reminiscing. I grunted angrily and he laughed. "You know I'm joking b."
"Hmph." I felt him behind me, he held me tight and bit my ear softly.
"C'mon Stace."
"Leave me alone." He kissed my neck.
"I was joking, everyone has their chubby days, I used to be a fat shit in year 3." I giggled.
"I know, I saw the pictures." I replied still looking at the wall. He laughed lightly.
"Cuss me about it then."
"No." He sighed happily and squeezed me.
"I'm sorry Stacey."
"Uh-huh." He kissed my neck again, I turned my head to look at him and he kissed my lips softly. I responded and we kissed for a few minutes. I faced him again and leaned on his chest. "You're forgiven." I said.
"Yay." He smiled. I laughed and closed my eyes.
"Goodnight Jay."
"It's like 7:30."
"Goodnight Jay." I repeated. He kissed my nose.
"Night chubbz." I tutted. He laughed and held me. I thought about the 2 of us and when we would actually get together. He was perfect for me and makes me feel good about myself. Its times like these I wish I lived here, away from the Devil himself. I sighed as I imagined running David outta London, until I eventually fell asleep...
"Where to now then aye?" I looked up at the clouds and thought of Javon. He's been on my mind ever since, and I can't get him out.
"Anywhere." I answered in a daze. Rochelle and I was out taking Buster for a walk. Ro thought he'd gone fat and had a theory that he was pregnant, despite the fact that he's male. We've been walking around for about half an hour and we've already taken him to the park, now I was bored. He's become very hyper and kept pissin' everywhere, it was really annoying. I wanted to go back to Javon, so I could be in his arms once again.
"Snap outta it will ya! I'm tryna talk to you here!"
"Sorry, I was just thinking." She smiled.
"About that Tyler geez aye?"
"Nahh."
"Who then? That Mark fellow?" I looked at her.
"You what?"
"You know... Mark? I thought that was his name? That boy you've been seeing. 17 right? Mark?" I suddenly remembered.
"Oh yeah, ermm Mark... that's who I'm thinking of." I smiled, she laughed.
"Dopey bitch," she looked ahead, "I wanna go Mcdonald's!" I sighed.
"We already ate."
"Not that silly, make-up."
"Oh. Dogs aren't allowed inside."
"Tie him up somewhere, we won't be long, 3 minutes tops." She grinned. I agreed and we tied Buster up to a post. I patted his head.
"We won't be a minute." I said, as if he could understand. He simple panted and I rubbed his ear then we went inside. The smell of burgers and chips filled the place. I sniffed and felt hungry all over again. I've been becoming hungry a lot more over the past few weeks, I didn't understand why either, but no way am I gonna stuff my face. I came out of the chubby phase, I'm not gonna go back into it.
"C'mon." I followed Ro upstairs to the toilets. As soon as we got in there she pulled out her make-up bag, she was ready for action. She went to the mirror and applied some mascara.
"You know I wish I had curly eyelashes." She said.
"Why?"
"Dunno, my cousin has them and their just the best. I reckon they would suit me." I nodded.
"I wanna get my eyebrows done." I said peering at them in the mirror. I ran my finger over it lightly, they were losing shape, it was hideous.
"When?"
"Very soon, maybe tomorrow infact."
"Threaded?"
"Yup." She shuddered.
"That fucking hurts, why go through that pain when you can use wax?"
"Cos it's not my pubic hair, this is my eyebrows we're talking about. I'd rather thread thanks." She laughed.
"I wax my muff all the time, Brazilian style."
"Okay, too much info there Ro."
"What? Its the best, looks nice, especially when you're fucking."
"Alright Rochelle!" She shrugged.
"Stating facts here love. But if you wanna thread then be my guest."
"The pain doesn't even last that long." She gave me a look and scoffed.
"Says you, it fucking stings, and it's uncomfortable. Like, you know when you shave down there and you wear knickers afterwards, the hairs get pressed down-"
"Rochelle!" She shrugged.
"I'm just saying, it's that feeling. I'll follow you if you want, then we can get my hair dye afterwards." I used some of her lip gloss,
"You still getting midnight blue?"
"Yeah, don't forget the bob too." I nodded and used some foundation, which looked like it hasn't been touched, completely brand new.
"What's the deal with this?" I asked. She shrugged.
"Got it from Superdrug but I'm going off foundation now, I use blusher instead."
"Shame on you." She laughed. A group of girls came in and they all went to one cubicle. Wow, usually when you follow your friend to the loo you wait for them, but all 5 of them went in there. Strange.
"How's that Mark lad then?" Ro asked using the eye-liner. I sighed.
"He's... great." I lied.
"Fucked him yet?"
"There's company in here." I stated.
"Fuck 'em, have you though?"
"No and I tend to keep it that way." I didn't like lying to Rochelle about this imaginary Mark guy, I should have told her from the beginning that it's Javon, but she'd think I'm weird lusting over Chloe's big brother. No-one has to know, not even Chloe. She put her make-up away and turned the tap on.
"What's he like?" I thought to myself.
"Great personality, lovely face, amazing body.." I sighed and thought of Javon, Ro laughed.
"How is he at kissing?"
"Brilliant." I gave her a thumbs up and she winked.
"I might need to meet this guy Stace." I heard the toilet flush and they all came out the cubicle. They gave us a look and one of them washed their hands. They all looked weird, like they did drugs or something. As they walked off Rochelle scoffed.
"SOMEONE needs to re-dye their roots. Fucking terrible." They all looked back and gave us evils. Ro done the same. "What? You all look like you're part of an Amy Winehouse cult, seriously. Tip; using a fake tan or even a sun bed will get rid of the paleness okay? Just tryna help here, don't dare look at me like that." They all screwed their faces and left. I'm surprised they didn't do anything. I laughed lightly, Ro was almost as bad as Chloe.
"You're bloody rude." I shook my head. She tutted.
"That's the last time I give advice, ruddy bitches." I giggled.
"They all looked pale."
"I know, what the hell." She looked angry about the whole thing. She got her Blackberry out and dialled a number.
"Who are you calling?"
"Luke, I miss him."
"Didn't you see him yesterday?"
"I need some loving Stace, he gives it good."
"Ew." She smiled and licked her lips. That's when I remembered Buster. This was more than 3 minutes tops, way more. She sighed and put her phone away.
"Busy." She said. "How dare he be on the phone to someone else." I laughed.
"Well you can't expect him to-" I froze and felt different, she looked at me weirdly.
"Stace?" I could feel it now, it was there, it was coming. I retched and quickly ran into the cubicle. I pushed the seat up and let it all out. I vomited up everything, my breakfast and lunch and the Subway I had eaten before. My stomach burned and my throat was strained. Rochelle held my hair and rubbed my back as I continued to throw up my innards. It was cringe, it just didn't seem to stop, and it hurt. When I was done I stayed there and breathed deeply. I caught my breath back and felt weak. My head went limp and my heart was pounding. Rochelle helped me up. "You can't stay like this Stace, get up." I stood up and she flushed the toilet. She led me to the sink and I washed my mouth out thoroughly. After cleaning myself up I wiped my mouth as Ro went through her bag. She pulled out some mints and handed me one. I threw it in my mouth and sucked on it slowly. My throat hurt and I now felt rough. She rubbed my back. "Are you alright babe?"
"Yeah," I muttered as she picked up her bag.
"Come, let's get you home." We left and I let Busters lead loose. He made some weird noises and licked my shin. I felt terrible, I wanted to sleep, I don't know what's wrong with me. It suddenly just came, I had no idea it would happen. It was silent as we walked down the road. I was just thinking about what just happened and why. I couldn't think of any alternatives, there were no loopholes to this. Ro linked her arm with mine. "You'll be alright Stace, a good rest is what you need. I bet it was that nasty Subway, trust me we won't be going there again." She laughed lightly. I could just about bare to smile. She looked at me, "don't worry it's probably nothing. As soon as you get home just lye down and sleep okay?" I nodded. We soon departed and I soon walked Buster home. I closed the front door and took the leash off, he ran away to his food bowl and I took my jacket and shoes off. My head was throbbing and my belly was beginning to churn. The mint didn't even do anything. I went to the kitchen and felt weak. I opened the cupboard and took out the hot chocolate. After boiling the kettle I used the mug and poured the hot water inside with some milk. I added sugar and mixed it up. I had a bad pain in my neck. I really didn't know what was wrong with me. I just wanted to lie in bed. I sipped it, it was nice and warm, maybe it will calm my stomach down a little. I didn't want to take paracetamol just yet. I heard David laughing with another male in the living-room. I had no idea he was here, the door was closed when I walked passed. No doubt it was his annoying mate Paul. He would always look at me funny and had this weird smell to him, so I don't communicate with him. They were both laughing hysterically; coughing and wheezing frantically. I rolled my eyes.
"Jus laugh and die will ya." I mumbled directly to David and sipped more hot chocolate. When I finished I slowly trudged upstairs and got into bed. I rubbed my stomach and sighed. "What's wrong with you Stace.." I muttered. I was fine before so this made no sense. I closed my eyes and thought of what I ate. Maybe it's food poisoning. Urgh I felt disgusting, I must look it too. My phone went off. I looked and answered.
Me: "Hi."
Nathan: "Stace, you weren't even at work today, again, tryna lodge man?"
Me: "It wasn't my shift."
Nathan: "Ahh skeen, you're lucky," He laughed and I coughed, "you alright?"
Me: "No."
Nathan: "What's wrong?"
Me: "I just feel sick, I threw up not to long ago."
Nathan: "Aww b, what is it?"
Me: "I dunna, it just happened."
Nathan: "What the fuck did you eat?"
Me: "Normal things."
Nathan: "Hmm, just rest and that, I'll speak to you soon." I sniffed.
Me: "Okay, thanks."
Nathan: "See you at work."
Me: "Yeah, bye."
Nathan: "Later." He hung up and I turned my phone off. I sighed and held my forehead. Maybe I'm just coming down with something, it's the only explanation. I groaned in pain, I knew for sure it wasn't my period, I haven't been on that for ages, so that isn't the problem. I pulled the covers over me and began to drift off, until the door swang open and rebounded off the wall, creating a loud bang.
"The fuck are ya doing lying down you bitch!" I opened my eyes and turned to him slowly.
"I'm sick." I muttered.
"Sick?" He laughed, "bloody pathetic. Use any excuse will ya? I give and give but you wanna lay there like a lazy bitch and say you're sick?"
"I am."
"Shut up, you ain't sick you filthy minger. The only one who should be sick around here is me, having tah look at your bloody face all day." He made an angry noise and I held my forehead.
"Where's mum?"
"Why should you care ey?" I coughed.
"Where is she?"
"At work that's where she is, and you should be too, lazy piece of shit, the lotta ya! All you teenagers need to get out more. Especially them nigga's, they belong back in fucking Africa. Fucking polluting our clean English air. Bloody apes." I groaned and turned back around. I wanted him to leave, he needs to go. "Tryna get to sleep are ya?" He chuckled, "5 minutes. 5 minutes and I'll be back. The food ain't gonna fucking cook itself."
"Mm." He tutted and left, slamming my door behind him. I'm lucky, if Paul weren't here he would've did things to me. I eventually got comfortable and began to drift off again, but my stomach was rumbling. I laid on my back and was still for a moment, then sprang up. I ran to the bathroom and threw up all over again, this time the hot chocolate, it was tinted with brown. It was disgusting. I stayed there for a few minutes before finally getting up and flushing the toilet. My hair was a mess and my throat was now sore. My stomach felt empty inside, it was really strange. What the 'ells happening to me? I was getting worried now..
I brushed my teeth and looked in the mirror. I looked really hideous, even with the make-up on, it didn't help. I washed my face and got rid of the make-up and everything else. I sighed and stared at the pale faced, half dead girl before me. I had blackheads, pimples, the works. I wanted to gag and pull my face off, it was cringe. I sat on the toilet seat and put my head in my hands and felt like crying. My body was a wreck, I was a wreck. Everything was just weird and going from bad to worse. That's when I thought to myself carefully. When did I even have my period.. I went back to my room and looked at my calender. I scanned through it and traced back to when it happened. The 5th? But that was almost a month ago...
I sat down on my bed and it was silent. I thought and thought. I looked around and tried to come to terms with this; throwing up and no period. That's when I got it, the shock of my life. The realisation was there, I felt it, I knew now. I knew. Suddenly it all made sense to me. I sat up and my eyes widened.
Oh God no...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Oh God yes, you're pregnant love LOL!
Wid David's child too, the pill didn't work, woww she's pissed.
Ahh well.
Javon's awesome, but Nathan's even better.
Comments and votes would be nicee..