"Miss Nandini Mathur?",the receptionist called from behind the front desk.
Standing up from the steel chair, I slowly made my way towards her. "Yes?", my voice wavered due to nervousness.
"Here, take your report",she spoke handing me an envelope,"Please go to room 203. Dr. Maya is waiting for you." I nodded slowly and she gave me the instructions to the room. I thrust the envelope in my hand into my purse. I didn't dare to open it, not now.
"Come in please", came a soft voice from behind the door. I opened the door and went inside. The lady gestured for me to sit and I did.
"The report?", she asked me.
Slowly and very carefully I took it out and handed it to her, too afraid to find out the truth.
She raised her spectacles above her nose and started reading the report. Gradually, a frown made it's way to her face. Beads of sweat started appearing on my forehead.
When she finally looked at me, she had the look of utmost disapproval,"It's positive. You are pregnant Nandini", she sighed,"Pregnant before marriage. How could you be so careless?", she removed her spectacles,"Look what's done is done. We cannot change the past but we can change the future. Your family is well respected in the society. They'll be defamed. "
I didn't know if I was listening to her or to my loudly beating heart.This wasn't supposed to happen but I had crossed my limit and so had he.
"Are you even listening to me?", I didn't notice that she was now standing next to me. I nodded lightly. " You'll stay at the hospital and we'll be done with the abortion in two hours,okay?"
Abortion?
Could I take an innocent life?
No.
"No", I heard a voice that hardly resembled mine.
"Pardon me?"
"I said no. There will be no abortion.", I abruptly stood up and started towards the door.
"I'll have to tell your parents about it. You have left me no other choice.", I could sense her anger.
As I opened the door, I turned towards her,"Do whatever you wish to. I am not killing my child."
"Ravi? Say something. I cannot deal with this on my own.", I croaked.
Ravi was just sitting on the couch. His face was hidden by his palms. Next thing I knew, he was shaking me by my shoulders,"Why couldn't you control yourself? Is it not a female's job to have control on herself, in such situations?", he tore his hair in desperation.
"Ravi...", I found myself at loss of words. I thought he was sensible. I thought he would take the responsibility along with me and not blame me for everything .I was utterly wrong.
"You need to get it aborted.", I heard him saying to me.
"What?"
"It is either me or the that filth that's in your body now.", his tone was that of finality. I couldn't believe it. The man whom I loved...
"It is not filth. It's your own blood."
"My blood or not, I do not care. What I do care about is my position in the society.If this news comes out, both of our families will be ruined. Do you not understand this?"
I was taken aback by the harshness in his voice. I had expected him to understand but he proved me wrong. I removed the engagement ring from my hand and place it in his palm.
"You will not see me or my baby again. I promise you that.", I made my way towards his office's door,"And for once, try respecting a woman and her decisions. It would do you some good."
"Where were you?", my mother inquired as I entered my house .
"Is it Nandini ?",I could hear my father shout from the living room. I braced myself for what was to come. I trudged towards the living room.
Slap.
The tears that I had been holding inside, rushed out. I stood there, crying as my mother and father hurled abusive words on me. I had expected my parents to support me, to comfort me, to tell me that they would always be there for me. I just wanted my mother to hug me and sing me to sleep with a lullaby, just like she did when I was a kid. I wanted at least some one in this world to understand me.
I came back to my senses at the mention of 'abortion'.
"We'll be back in two hours . Make sure no one knows about this.", I heard my father say to my mother. She nodded and glared at me.
I wriggled my hand out of my father's ,"I will not abort my child."
"You don't get to decide this.", I hadn't seen my father this angry in the last few years.
I shivered under his glare but stood my ground,"I do and I say no."
"We'll be defamed in the society because of you."
"I don't care."
"You'll be defamed forever."
" I do not care."
"Alright. Make your choice. It's either us or that baby."
If it had come to this, let it be. I didn't say anything, instead I tightly held the strand of my purse and made my way to the door, not once looking back. My parents didn't stop me either. I slammed the door shut behind me.
"Excuse me?", my eyes shot open at the sudden sound.
A girl, probably a teenager, stood just in front of my berth. One earphone was plugged carefully in her left year, the other one was in her hand which also had a book.
"I'm so sorry to disturb you.", she looked at me guiltily.
"No. It's alright.", I smiled lightly at her.
Encouraged by my smile, she smiled widely," Can I take that seat?" she pointed towards the berth opposite to me."Only if it's vacant and if you have no problem.", she added quickly.
"Yes, sure."
I shifted my attention towards the window. It was night now. I noticed the slight mistake on the window frame. How long had I been sleeping?
"You look pretty tired. Rough day, huh?", the girl spoke again,drawing my attention towards her. She had sat down on the seat opposite to mine, observing me.
Thinking about today,I laughed bitterly, more to myself than to her, "You have no idea."
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So, here it is. Nandini's story. I hope I didn't overdo it. I hope you like it :)
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GLOSSARY
•Society - If you noticed, I used the same kind of dialogue with three different people. No, it wasn't accidental repetition. It was done purposely. I just wanted to highlight the main and the biggest problem, in India atleast. Now, I don't mean to offend anyone but seriously but if a person does something that's not 'acceptable' in the society, they're harrassed (mentally or maybe physically too) . Like hold your horses people. If a person wants to do something that the society disapproves or has done something of the kind unknowingly, it DOESN'T mean that the person is no more fit to be called a human being. That you have the right to shame them in any way you have the right to shame them. That you have the right to pronounce them crazy and say that they'll burn in hell for continuing like that. Just No. Stop doing that. We do not have the right to judge a person. And by doing this, we're just making our society even more toxic than it already is. This shaming practice needs to stop.
(Sorry for the rant)
•Train - In India, we have an extensive railway network. I think almost every place is connected to the railways and the railways go back to the time when the British ruled India. Infact, there was a time when Indian Railways was one of the best railways in the world. There are approximately 14300 trains running on different routes in India that includes both,short distance and long distance trains.(we should be proud :) ) And this is how the sleeper class in a normal Indian train looks from inside-