"And I hate it..."
Song: Hate That I Love You
Artist: Rihanna and NeYo
The final chapter of Like Totally is presented. It's been a journey, laughers.
Good Reading for the last time...
EPILOGUE (Part One):
Three Years Later:
Adrian:
"Let's just lay it all out on the table, Knight!" I yelled.
His face was red from yelling, and his jaw clenched from the way I just took control of the whole situation. We were reaching our boiling point now and everything just had to be let out into open air. The stupid fights and the devil-controlled attitudes couldn't go on for much longer. I couldn't go on like this for much longer. I knew that the end were coming. I just wished it had some sort of warning.
"How did it get like this?" I cried. Tears began rolling down my cheeks now as I fell onto the couch in our apartment. "How in the hell did we get like this?" I didn't want to cry because crying showed that he broke me and I didn't want him to know that he broke me. Even though I am in love with him, I still wanted to be that stubborn girl four years ago. The one that put everyone through tough shit and didn't want anyone to do anything for her.
"If it's going to be like this then I can't do it anymore, Colton." My head was in my hands, as I shook it back and forth. Slowly losing my mind. "We can't go on like this. These stupid fights that just turn into these big messes... I can't do this anymore."
I didn't bother to look up when I spoke those inevitable words. Mainly because I didn't want to see the emotion that he could possibly be showcasing. Whether he were hurt or ecstatic; I didn't want to see it. God, I didn't even want to think about the possibility of us breaking up but sometimes you just have to do what's best for you. Even if it means hurting the people that you deeply care about. He should understand though. It was bound to happen.
"Adrianna...," He whispered.
I still didn't bother to look up from my hands and he didn't try to pry them off of my face. Instead, I heard the shuffling of what sounded like cd's being filed through and then the opening of a case. Is he doing what I think he's doing? He just may be...
The sound of Hate That I Love You by Rihanna and Ne-Yo began playing through the stereo system and I couldn't help the small frown come upon my lips. Now isn't the time to bring up moments of the past. We're here at our breaking point and he decides that now is the good time to play music? But it's your song! It doesn't matter. After today it won't be our song anymore.
That's how much I love you
That's how much I need you
And I can't stand you
"I know you remember, Princess. You remember everything."
"How come I've never seen you around, Princess," He asked, casually. Princess! I wonder how many times he used that nickname on a girl.
"I try to stay out of the mating calls of asses like you," I snorted out and tried to sidestep my way around him but was just blocked by his very well built body. "Problem?"
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile?
"Say something funny," I blurted out. Colton looked at me confused and shook his head.
"Please! Anything to distract me!"
Maybe I just want to hear his sexy voice!
"Umm...penis?" Okay, as unoriginal as this sounded coming out of Colton Knight, it did actually get me laughing and made it easier for the blood to come up from my finger for me not to notice.
We were able to get my sample done and I watched as Colton easily pricked his finger and finished his sample in under a minute. "Easy peezy lemon squeezy!"
The couch cushion beside me shifted to support his weight but he made no move to touch me. I don't know if it was because he feared my reaction or if he agreed that this was going to be the end of us. I'm not going to be dramatic and go off. That's the last thing I'm going to do. I had my fair share of yelling today. I'm not going to do it anymore.
"What are you doing, Colton?" I ask, lifting my head up to look at him.
"I don't know."
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did
She slightly leans her head in towards my lips and my breathing probably looks as if I'm a wounded dog on the side of the road, panting for life. That's technically what I'm doing in a way. Panting for the feel of her lips against my own and now it was going to happen!
I leaned my head in towards her lips and just as they were about to brush by each others, her head turned away quickly and my lips made contact with her cheek instead.
Adrian let out a little laugh in my ear and I saw a small blush creep up onto her cheeks...
"We can make this much more easier." I say.
His eyes rise to meet my own, but he doesn't exactly say much.
"I know but do you really want me to let you leave the easy way?"
I don't know what I want anymore.
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong
"It's just a prank." Adrian repeated again in my ear one final time, before turning on her heel and disappearing into the crowd.
What the fuck just happened?
"Colton," Brayden calls, and I snap out of my conflicting thoughts to turn in his direction. "Umm...dude...you're still in a thong..."
Oh shit!
Brayden threw a pair of sweat pants, boxers, and a shirt in my direction and I caught it with ease. Then backed away into the locker room. Ignoring the stares from everyone in the crowd that watched the whole scene go down with Adrianna.
Adrianna, what are you trying to do to me?
Whatever it is, it's working. It's working so good...
"Why didn't you just leave three years ago when Josh asked you too?" I ask. "It would've made things hard but it also would've been simple."
"A boy follows his friends. A man follows his heart."
"So you were a man back then?"
We both let out light laughs that died down within a few seconds.
"I mean, I'm still here aren't I?"
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you
"No...I...I'm not ignoring you...it's j-just..."
"Then why the hell aren't you saying anything! This is unlike you to not be saying anything at all! If you're going to continue sitting here, staring and being weird then do that in the comfort of your own home!"
I can't take it anymore!
My body rushed off the island chair and in a split second I'm in front of Adrian wrapping my arms around her toned torso and pulling her closer, and closer towards me until there was barely any space between us. "What are you do--" Her words were cut off by me gently moving a stand of her chocolate brown hair out of her face and tucking it behind her ear. Just so I could see the target on her perfection of a face so much better....her lips.
Think about what you're doing Colton.
Oh, I've thought about this for a long time and now that I have the opportunity I'm going for it whether she wants me too or not. I just had to do it....
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so
Dear God. Colton Knight what the freaking fuck are you doing to me, right now? Why can't I just eat dirt and forget about what just happened.
Why must feelings linger?
Adrian Pike, why are you probably in love with Colton Knight?
"We should've just given each other the space that we needed." I whisper. "Moving in together during college was a mistake. After everything we went through beforehand, we just should've given one another a chance to breathe. I should've pushed you away, Colton. You should've followed Josh."
He scooted closer to me, pulling me into his chest. I inhaled his scent deeply. How in the hell would I be able to live without him?
"We both know that everything you said was complete shit. I was a jackass for even thinking about letting you go."
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh
"You know what you need," Colton chimed asked me with a small poke on my thigh. I raised my head to look into his eyes.
Fuck geez, those mesmerizing eyes!
"What could I possibly need?" I ask.
"You need a skittle." And then suddenly he pulls out a king sized packet of Skittles out of his pants pocket.
Again I say, what the hell?
Colton Knight calming me down with skittles because this is supposed to be better then a fruit bar? Nope. I don't see the weird in it at all!
"Fine." I let my hand out for some skittles and he tilts the packet to only release one skittle and then place the packet back into his pocket. My face turns to irritation and I look down at the purple skittle like it was retarded. "Sharing is caring!"
"So fourth grade of you to say." He shrugs and returns back to silence. Ah, this bitch. But I still bit back my smile because it was a bit clever of him. For some reason this skittle made me feel stress free.
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right
"Are you having a stroke that is like silent and cute?" Colton instantly rushed out.
My eyebrows squished together in confusion. "W-What no!" I exclaim in a voice pitch a bit to high. I clear my throat, awkwardly and correct myself. "I-I mean no. I was just going to say that," This is it. "Colton, I-I," Come on Adrianna, don't choke now. "I umm like y-you back?"
He stares at me intently, wondering if I'm just joking and for a second I thought I was about to bust out laughing and ruin the whole thing.
"Come again," He finally talks, "What did you just say?"
I clear my throat again. This time around I was more confident in myself. My heartbeat was moving a mile a minute as I watch Colton, who is staring at me still.
"Colton, I like you." I swallow; a smile spreads across my face for finally admitting it, finally. "Also, I'm really sorry....so sorry for the wait." I apologize again because Colton has yet to come out and speak again.
"I don't want you to apologize to me, Colton. I want us to just come to terms that this is the end. We've peaked in our relationship! Don't try and comfort me and act like nothing is wrong. Everything is wrong." I push away from him to lean on my arm of the couch.
The hurt that spreads across his face is evident. I caused that. But that's why we're dealing with this now. So we'll be able to understand why we need to leave one another because then we wouldn't have to deal with being hurt anymore. I love him. I don't want to continue to cause problems to hurt him.
"You're not making me love you any less, Princess. In fact, I want to kiss the hell out of you right now."
My eyes just wander away with a simple roll.
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so
"I'm in love with you too," I confessed with a dragon burning in my stomach. Allowing my skin to be set on fire when Colton immediately brought his head forward and our lips met for a long, honest kiss. The kiss proved that we were both serious about one another, no lies told just now. This kiss sealed the deal, our fate for one another.
The kiss carried on me a few more seconds until he pulled away. I opened my eyes and met his once again. "I've wanted to say that for a while now." A smile broke out onto my lips, and that earned him the joy of getting his hand squeezed a bit harder with mine.
"Why didn't you?" I asked. Colton chuckled a bit, he accompanied that laugh with a small shrug of his shoulders. The blush now becoming visible on his cheeks was making this all too real for me. What just happened now was not a dream at all. Even if I pinched myself, I would still be caught in this moment.
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
"Colton," Adrianna whispers.
"Yeah?" I answer back in an whisper equal to her own.
"Gummy bears suck."
"Princess?" This time it was I who got to ask the question.
"Yeah?"
"I'm in love with a girl that hates gummy bears."
She chuckles, sending a smile instantaneously to my lips as well. Everything she does to me is contagious, that it's almost deadly.
"This girl is in love with you back."
"You keep sending mixed signals!" He yells. He's standing in front of me again, anger fuming. "We used to be good together. I just want us to be good together again! We have one more year till we graduate, Princess. I don't want to lose you now. Please, don't walk away from me!"
I clench my eyes shut to trap the tears that threaten to fall again.
"At least your crying shows that you haven't given up on us completely. Crying means you still care."
"What if it means the opposite?" I choke out.
He shakes his head, crossing his arms across his chest.
"You were never a good liar, Adrianna."
That's how much I love you (as much as I need you)
That's how much I need you
That's how much I love you
As much as I need you
“Talk to me.” Colton whispered, nuzzling his lips by my ear. The heat from his breath was gently fanning across my ear. Causing it to tickle. I shivered a bit because of this but I never pulled out of his grasp. Instead, I just grabbed a hold of him even tighter. “Come on Princess. Just say anything.”
Anything?
“I love you.” My voice, squeaked out through the tears that were now at a steady fall-down instead of the rushing flood that had overcame me when I had saw him run up. “Sorry for being an emotional wreck.”
Colton chest vibrated against the side of my head because of his small laughter. “I don't even care Princess. Be emotional. I'll love you tears and all.” I squeezed around his waist tighter. The theory was the tighter I squeezed, the more I realized that I was lucky to have him.
"Do you love me, Adrianna?" Was he really asking me this question? I may be on the brink of destruction but I know how I feel. I'm in love with him. I've never fallen out of love with him and honestly, I don't think I ever will.
"Of course I love you, Colton. I may be going crazy but I know that I love you. I also know that you deserve a girl that doesn't have baggage to carry. You need a girl that's going to come at you with a fresh start, and no trouble. You deserve that."
"What I deserve is the chance to kiss my girlfriend without having to question our fate tomorrow. We both deserve to be secure with each other. One day, you told me that I deserved the whole world." I remember that day. "Well, if I'm not mistaken, I'm looking at it... and she is so beautiful."
My heart practically stops beating in my chest. I don't know what to say that would follow that. He takes slow steps to approach me fully, causing me to look up at him. Words aren't spoken anymore. We both know what we want. We know who we need. The hard times are over. I can feel it. We passed the ultimate test.
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
"The trouble you bring to me, Princess. That's okay, though. A 'Knight' will always need to rescue his Princess. I'll always be here for you no matter what. Rain or shine. I'm yours for however long you want me to be." Forever. I want him to be all mine forever. If I'll even be able to have forever...
"I need you to wake up, though. You can do it. Just like you did last time. Just open your eyes. Try to push past the hard stuff and just wake up because I need you. I really need you, right now." I don't know what's worse. The fact that I won't wake up or the fact that Colton is hysterically crying now. I've never seen him cry before and I completely hate this.
It was as if our lips and emotions took us to some other universe. I was eager to grasp onto all the delicate memories that we shared together, the kiss was gentle but it was still all the while captivating. His fingers trail softly through my hair, then down my spine to reach the small of my back. Pulling him closer to me, not allowing our lips to fall from the kiss. Not wanting to release the inner beast inside of me that wanted to push for more than what we were both delivering, I pulled back. The rest of the world slowly coming back into focus.
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so
Colton was the first to make a move between the two of us as he raised his head, his eyes meeting my own, then his swollen lips reach mine with a hard kiss, not pulling away until our energy was officially spent and the condom was tied off and placed onto my night table stand for him to get later. We knew that we had to get moving here soon if we didn't want to get caught by my mom but it didn't register in our brains completely, just yet.
"I love you." He whispered. Kissing me again. "God, I love you so, so, so much." My heart swelled from just the pure emotion of hearing him say it and mean it so much. "I love you. I fucking love you."
I curled up into his body, reliving the events of what just happened, bringing a small smile to my face. "I love you too." I answered back. Meaning it completely, not wanting to ever speak against it and I do mean ever because I just might die.
And I hate that I love you...
"Are you still my 'Knight' in shining armor?"
"Well, that depends... Are you still my Princess?
I tip-toe to place a gentle kiss on his lips.
"Totally." I whisper, meaning it completely. "Like totally."
so.. so...
----------------------------
I can understand how this chapter may have been confusing. They are closing in on the end of their junior year of college and they live together in their own apartment. Times have been rough for them lately and they have reached the epitome of their arguing. Coming down to the whole ending. Colton then plays their song and it brings Adrianna to have flashbacks of their past. Realizing that they still need each other. 'Like Totally' need each other. All and all, this is the epilogue of Like Totally.
p,s, I've posted a part two of an epilogue since it's been highly requested. check it out and then that'll be the real ending of Like Totally.