"You're the rain on the roof in the summer. You're the leaves in the fall changing color...You're the reason my heart's beating faster...You're the only one I'm after"
~ My Side of the Fence (Dan + Shay)
Right after the phone call ended, I had a meltdown. I told my parents everything then, revealing to my dad for the first time that I'm, or rather had been in a relationship with Nicholas Grey. His face turned bright red in that way it does when he's trying to control his anger but it's slowly slipping through his fingers. I immediately explained to him about Nick's innocence like I'd done to mom. He was still mad at me for putting myself in danger, but he relaxed nonetheless. Then I told them about Mrs. Grey being in the hospital and my mom started crying again. Dad then insisted on coming along with me, to which my mom agreed through her tears. They wanted to be there for their old friends and I thought that was admirable of them. Mom still cried through the whole car ride, with my dad trying to comfort her as he drove. I sat in the back with my heart stuck in my throat as I tried to come up with the perfect thing to say to Nick. I was still fruitless and restless when dad pulled into the hospital parking lot.
Before dad could turn the ignition off, I ducked out of the car and swiftly walked into the hospital.
After talking to the lady up front, I rushed into the elevator and chewed on my nails until I got to the 7th floor.
The second the doors opened, I hurried down the hall, looking for room number 1021. When I finally located the room, I froze in my spot. I stood there facing the door, but not knocking. My heartbeat was out of control, but my breathing was calm. It hit me at that moment that I wasn't sure if I was ready to see him. I know he needs me, but suddenly, I started panicking about the whole thing...about us. I guess I was there for quite a while because my parents eventually caught up with me.
Dad placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, grabbing my attention. "You okay, pumpkin?"
I sniffed for no reason and gave him a sweet smile. "Yeah. Sorry, I don't know why I'm just standing here."
His smile told me he understood how I was feeling. I leaned into him for support, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Thanks, daddy."
He kissed my hair. "No big deal."
I turned to catch mom watching us with teary eyes, her hands tightly gripping the flowers we'd bought on our way. On the verge of crying myself, I reached for her and brought her into our hug. "I love you guys," I whispered.
"We love you, too, baby," my mom said, pushing my hair behind my ear.
Taking a large breath, I pulled away from the hug. "Let's go in, yeah?"
The encouraging pat my dad gave me was all I needed to step up and knock lightly on the door.
"Come in!" a husky male voice I recognized as Mr. Grey's yelled from the other side.
I gulped and turned the knob, pushing the door open. A small gasp escaped me, another lump latching in my throat.
Mrs. Grey was sitting up, laughing with Mr. Grey. There were flowers all around the room, presumably from her visitors. Hunter and Sabrina were laughing along with them, sitting in the two-seater couch with a coffee mug in their hands. Mr. Grey sat in the chair right next to the hospital bed. He and Mrs. Grey were holding hands. Everything seemed to be okay, better than okay, actually, judging by the atmosphere. A large breath of relief automatically escaped me.
Mrs. Grey turned and caught us, a large smile splitting her lips. Immediately, my mom cried, "Evelyn, oh, thank God you're okay!" She rushed to her side, bringing her into that tight hug she gives when worried.
"Ashley! I didn't know you were here," Mrs. Grey said, exasperated once they pulled back. My mom was crying again. "Are you back in town?" She sounded...pleased.
Mom shook her head. "We moved back a few months ago. I meant to visit you, but..."
Feeling awful and knowing the real reason why my parents cut contact with the Greys for three years, I spoke up, saving my mom. "But I didn't want to see Nicholas at the time so I begged her and dad not to make any contact. It's really not their fault, it's all mine," I blurted out, my anxiousness causing my fingers to fidget.
Mrs. Grey caught my eyes then, her shock evident in her eyes. "Iris! Oh, how you've grown. You look so beautiful, darling. And I understand where you were coming from, my Nick hurt you badly, didn't he?" She motioned for me to come closer as she spoke.
I slowly approached her. "I mean, he explained everything, so it's not a problem anymore."
She smiled. "I wish I'd known you were back. I would've loved to have you over for dinner."
Mom sniffed and I almost chuckled at her. "Oh, God. Sorry, I am a crying mess, but we can still do that, Evelyn. The years have escaped us all."
Mrs. Grey's eyes watered. "I know," she said, choking back her tears, "all because we were listening to our kids."
A laugh escaped mom. "How are you feeling?"
"It was just a fluke. I was dehydrated," Mrs. Grey brushed it off, "I'm all better now."
I could hear my dad and Mr. Grey chatting it up as if the past three years didn't happen. When they started their infamous debate on which football team was better, I immediately tuned them out.
Turning to Sabrina and Hunter, I offered them a soft smile. "Hey, guys."
Sabrina was looking at me with a beaming grin. As soon as my greeting escaped my lips, she lunged at me, bringing me into a tight hug. "Oh! I'm so glad you forgave Nick for his stupidity," she said. Then pulling back to catch my eyes, she continued. "Just so you know, we all told him to tell you about everything and let you decide. Nobody supported him in his decision to cut you off."
Now it was me who couldn't keep that tears at bay. "Oh, don't worry about it. We all have our reasons. How are you guys doing though?" I turned to Hunter, looking into his ocean blue eyes. He was watching me curiously as if he was trying to figure out my inner thoughts.
"We're doing well," Sabrina sighed, "trying to keep the disease from getting through any loopholes."
I was about to respond when Hunter cut me off. "Nick told us about the video, Iris." His voice was hushed. I'm sure he didn't want his parents to hear, fearing what it may do to their health.
Shocked, I blinked at him, not knowing what to say. Sabrina, on the other hand, gasped, slapping his shoulder. "Hunter! Why would you bring that up?"
He glared at her momentarily before turning to me. "He's absolutely devastated. He won't talk to anyone; he thinks mom's condition is his fault. He's scared dad's gonna have another heart attack because of the news. And you conspiring with his accusors is the worst of all. So let's just cut to the chase, why are you here?"
I wanted to be angry at him for interrogating me, but I soon realized he was in the right. I deserved to be interrogated for what I'd done to Nick. I appreciated Hunter more at that moment because he really loved his brother. He didn't care about being cordial when it came to confronting the person partially responsible for his brother's pain. So, I gave him an apologetic smile, trying not to cry before him. "Look, I didn't know what they were planning to do to him when I helped them get him to that party. But I've done everything in my power to prove his innocence. I'll always regret being involved in this mess. I'll always be sorry for causing him pain. I just...I'm here because he asked me to come. And I can't push him away, so can you please tell me where he went?"
Hunter's eyes softened. He stared at me a bit longer. "He won't talk to any of us. He's been distant since the suspension news came out. He got worse when mom fainted. He only talks to her and sometimes dad and even then, he's still far away."
I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the huge lumps in my throat. "Let me try."
"He really asked you to come?" he asked, hope glistening through his voice.
I nodded, giving him a genuine smile, trying to take the pressure off of his shoulders. "He did."
He exhaled loudly. "He's always hanging out in the cafe by the elevators on the first floor. He just sits there and stares into space."
Sabrina rubbed his shoulder, trying to soothe him as his voice broke towards the end. Then she looked at me and in a hushed voice, she pleaded, "please tell him that we're here for him. I'm scared he'll do something...bad and if he does, we won't survive it. Let him know we need him, we love him and that we will always support him. Mom and dad are starting to worry about him and I'm so-"
I could hear the stress weighing heavily on her tone, so I interrupted her with a promise. "I'll try my best, okay?"
Hunter quickly wiped away the few tears that escaped. "Okay."
I nodded. "Alright, well, I'll be back. Tell my parents I went to see Nick," I said, bringing them both into a tight hug. I meant to offer them support, but while in their embrace, I realized that the one who needed to borrow the strength was me. So, I let their warmth encourage me to be strong.
Finally pulling away, I turned and walked out of the hospital room.
Everything was a damn mess because of those girls. Every single damn thing. They ruined everything. Even when they were proven to be liars, they were ruining everything.
I can't let them keep doing this to him. I had full ownership of that video. I had been sitting on this idea for quite a while. At first, I thought I'd gone mad for even considering the idea. But as things got worse and worse and worse, the idea looked more and more appealing.
So I took a seat by the elevator and decided to go for broke. I opened up a new twitter account, kept it anonymous and published the full 'confession' video. I mentioned the usernames of all the girls and TMZ and a couple of other renowned news publications in the tweet. Then I logged off and deleted the twitter app.
Nick deserved someone willing to go all the way for him, someone who will try their absolute best fight for him.
I wanted to be that person for him; I wanted him.
***
I found Nick sitting in the cafe as Hunter had described. He was hunched over with his arms crossed. He was staring into nothing. His eyebrows were furrowed, his brilliant eyes dark and void.
Taking a sharp breath, I shooed away my nerves and walked up to him. Lightly pulling on the chair across his seat, I cracked a sly smile. "Hey, handsome, is this seat available?"
His eyes flashed up to meet mine. He blinked, trying to make sure that I was really standing before him. When he realized that it really was me, a soft smile spread his lips. "It is."
God, his voice. It had been so long. It was low and rough. The phone did not do his voice justice, because hearing it in person for the first time in weeks was threatening to liquify my insides.
"He smiles," I joked.
Taking the seat before him, I got a better view. He looked like a straight up mess. His eyes were red and puffy with dark circles around them. He hasn't been sleeping. His soft hair was wild. When he caught me taking him in, he put the hood of his black hoodie on, covering his hair and some of his face.
He rubbed his eyes. "You got here fast."
I let out a soft sigh. "I wish I'd gotten here sooner."
"All I care about is that you're here, Iris," he shook his head, his voice demanding I drop it.
I slowly reached for his hands, gauging his reaction. He was watching my progress. When he didn't pull away or protest, I took his large hands between mine and brought it up to my lips. I pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles, then rested them just below my chin. He was watching me with softening eyes. The walls around him crumbled, letting his emotions flood his eyes.
"Why aren't you taking care of yourself?" I asked, my voice gentle.
Tears flooded his eyes and he looked down at the table. "I have been taking care of myself."
My heart broke at the sight before me. The graceful confident man I knew was gone, replaced with someone else who was resigned and self-critical. Forcing myself to remain strong, I tightened my hold on his hands as a form of encouragement. "Please don't hide from me. I want you to be okay. You can't keep your feelings locked up; it'll only harm you. You're hurting yourself and I will be damned if I let you."
When he didn't say anything, I opted for the nuclear option. "I posted the video on Twitter today."
That caught his attention. He eyes met mine almost immediately; they were full of confusion and a bit of hope. "What? Why?"
I gave him a reassuring smile. "They hurt you. They hurt your family. Their damn lies are just ruining everything for everyone else but them. It's time the tables turn...well, not literally, but you know what I mean."
He released a long breath and the tension in his body seemed to leave with it. "They suspended me, Iris. Mom passed out when she heard. I've caused so much pain to my family...I've ruined our name."
I was shaking my head before he could even finish his point. "I know that you damn well know how false that is. You didn't do anything. This is not your fault, Nick."
"Yes, it is," he breathed. He sounded so weak that my chest hurt at the sound.
But I wasn't about to give up. "Fine. How is it your fault? Tell me what you did."
He gaped at me, surely shocked that I was calling his bluff. "I was a player. I played them," he stuttered.
I looked at him dumbly. "And?"
He faltered. "And this was their revenge."
I sighed. "You're still not giving me an answer. How is it your fault, Nick? Answer me straight."
He just stared at me for a long time, unable to come up with anything coherent to say. His defensive shield weakened and diminished right before my eyes. Then finally, his shoulders fell. "I don't know, Iris, I don't know."
I shook my head, not letting anything go. I pulled at his hands. "No, you do know. You know you're innocent. You know you being a jerk to them back then is not an excuse in any for what they did to you. And the whole town was practically in love with you, so I wouldn't even go as far as to say you were a jerk. You were careless with their feelings, perhaps. It doesn't mean you deserve this."
He went silent at that. Moments later, he pulled his hands from mine and covered his face in frustration. "so what's gonna happen with the video then?"
I shrugged, suddenly feeling awkward with my hands empty. "I guess we'll have to see what Twitter does with the evidence. I'm assuming and hoping it goes viral." I tried to hide the pang of hurt I felt when he pulled his hands away.
"What happens if it does go viral?"
I offered him a comforting smile. "Hopefully it clears your name in the public and puts pressure on our school to end your suspension...and apologize."
He nodded. "Hopefully they do let me apologize."
My face contorted in confusion, a deep frown on my lips. "What? No. I meant the school and the girls. I want them to apologize to you for being so heartless. Why the hell would you be apologizing?"
He shrugged, removing his hands from his face to catch my eyes. "I don't know. I feel like I let the school down, maybe I owe them an apology."
Dumbfounded, it took me a while to find the right words to say. "You will not be apologizing to anyone, Nick. I swear to God if I catch you or even hear about you apologizing to anyone, especially the girls or the school, about this, I will throw you in fire," I said with a teasing grin, "I'm not a controlling girlfriend, but you're leaving me with no choice here."
As soon as the words escaped my lips, I froze. My lips sputtered, trying to correct my mistake. "I-I didn't mean that. God, I'm sorry. Um, I meant friend, or acquittance, or a stranger from your past...whatever you want me to be. I wasn't trying to insinuate anything. Sorry."
A pained look crossed his features and he reached for my hands, bringing them into a warm embrace. "No, no, no. I don't want you to mean friend, Iris, I want you to mean girlfriend because that's what you are: you're my girlfriend."
"But-but you said you needed time?" My voice was breaking right along with my heart...all over again.
He smiled sadly, remorse gleaming through his eyes. "Because I did need it. I needed to absorb everything and digest it thoroughly before making any decisions."
Fright took a hold of me then, momentarily blinding me to everything he'd just said seconds ago. "Any decisions? Decisions like breaking up with me? Is that-Is that what you're doing? Oh, God."
Jesus Christ, Iris. His mom is the damn hospital. Pull yourself together!
Realizing my subconscious was right, I cleared my throat and mentally forced myself to stop crying. Then I looked up at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. I've been an emotional wreck these past two weeks and I can't control my tears. So, please ignore the past thirty seconds. Let's get back to you."
I was expecting him to look at me as if I was crazy. I probably looked and sounded crazy, too. Rather, though, he looked at me with melancholy. "I hurt you that day. I'm sorry, Iris. I didn't want to, I just didn't know what else to do."
"No. You don't get to apologize, you did absolutely nothing wrong. I hurt you. And I'm sorry for what I did, Nick. I really I am-"
"-you need to stop apologizing to me, dammit. I believe you. You weren't trying to actually hurt me. You have helped me in more ways than you've hurt me and I will not sit here and listen to you chiding yourself. So, stop it, right now." His voice was stern, so far from the unsure man who was withholding from me minutes ago. He was coming back to me.
That, however, didn't stop me."But-"
"-No, stop it," he pressed and the strength behind his voice rendered me into compliance. He tightened his hold on my hands, forcing me to stop apologizing. "I forgive you. I forgive you for whatever part you had in this. And I also thank you for being my rock. You are my rock, Iris. You're mine."
My heart imploded. "I am?"
He nodded. "I think you always have been mine and I yours whether we knew it or not."
I breathed a little easier, the lumps in my throat slowly vanishing. "You were so distraught when I came in. What's bringing on this handsome smile?" I pulled my hand from his and reached to caress his bottom lip with my thumb.
He pressed a light kiss to the pad of my finger. "You."
"Me?"
"Yeah. I felt myself crawling into something dark when mom passed out. And I knew right at that moment I wanted you by my side. You put me at ease," he spoke with conviction.
A real smile crossed my lips for the first time in what felt like a long time. "I'm glad you called me."
"Me, too."
"You think you'll be okay?"
"I'm going to try. I need to stop worrying about my mom and dad. I just...need to fix this," he answered.
I chuckled. "They're always going to worry about you, Nick. It's in the job description. Just worry about yourself."
As he was about to respond, my phone buzzed. I was just planning on glancing at the screen and going back to Nick, but the notification caught my eye.
BREAKING NEWS: ALLEGATIONS AGAINST KINGSTON STAR ATHLETE FALL APART AFTER NEW VIRAL VIDEO
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QUESTIONS I HAVE:
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