"I've got scars by great white sharks, but I swam fast and I swam hard. All these miles I've walked, all these stumbles and falls, they led me straight to your arms"
~ Bridges (Pendulum)
(THE WORD RAPE IS MENTIONED A FEW TIMES IN THIS CHAPTER, BUT NO DETAILS ARE USED AND NO DESCRIPTIONS ARE WRITTEN)
NICHOLAS
Fear was choking me, making it hard to breathe in the spacious conference room. I sat next to my lawyer with my accusers, their families and their lawyers sitting directly before us. My heart was beating way too fast and way too loud for it to be normal. Seth had been talking to me about some video earlier today to prepare me for this meeting, but my mind had been absent, as it usually was nowadays. I should've been listening. I should've cared more; it was my future on the line, not anyone else's.
But it was hard. I felt like I was letting everyone down just by existing. My family's name, everything my parents had worked for, was being tarnished before my eyes. From my dad's superiors at the hospital to my mom's employees and longtime customers, they were all turning on us. All because I decided to screw around with some girls. It's become one of the most regretful moments in my life. I decided to play them because my heart was empty as it's been for the three years Iris's been away. I thought it would be fun and I was an absolute moron to think this way, but I never thought it would take the dark, deceitful turn it took.
The most painful part was not knowing how to prove my innocence. I knew I didn't do it. I knew it. I was more than a hundred percent sure that what I did with those girls in those rooms was just talk. My mind had been on Iris all night; I could barely hold a small conversation that night. They were the last thing on mind.
Recognizing that I was zoning out of the meeting, I forced myself to focus on what was going on in the room. Immediately, the thick tension in the room hit me like a wall of bricks. The fathers were glaring holes through my head, trying to murder me with their eyes for hurting their little girls. I didn't know what to do. Surely, I couldn't blame them. They really believed I'd done what was being accused. The moms, on the other hand, were comforting their daughters, who all seemed equally distraught to be in a confined room with me.
Jesus Christ. It took all the strength within me to not glare at all of them. I was angry. I was furious. I was disappointed. And most of all, I was tired. They have ruined me, all because I did something so incredibly stupid.
One of their lawyers, Anne Davin, cleared her throat. She pushed her blonde hair behind her ear and caught Seth's eyes. "We're ready to go to trial unless your client agrees to plead guilty. Then perhaps we can talk less prison time with his plea deal." Her voice was sharp, demanding. I let out a hollow breath, feeling the little hope I was holding on to vanish into the hot thin air.
I'd expected Seth to give into her confident demeanor. He, however, sat taller. Intertwining his hands on the desk, he stared her down. "My client will not be pleading guilty. This case will not go to trial for the rape accusations but it might for the defamation charges I will be bringing up against your clients for falsely accusing my client."
My mouth gaped open at his words. What was he talking about?
"How dare you?" one of the fathers roared, practically lunging out of his seat to glare down at Seth. His face had turned red. The others seemed ready to join in when Anne calmed them down with hushed words. They seemed to retreat back into their seats, but they were still fuming. I just sat there confused, scared, and with my heart stuck in my throat as I waited for Seth to explain himself.
"What makes you so sure this will not go to trial?" Anne asked, her confident demeanor replaced with one infused with intrigue.
As she was finishing her question, Seth reached into his bag and took his laptop out. My eyebrows furrowed as I watched him click away for a few seconds, readying whatever had boosted his confidence to this level. He turned the laptop to an angle that allowed everyone in the room to clearly see what was on the screen.
I felt like my lungs collapsed when I saw Iris sitting with them in her living room.
"This is why I'm confident," Seth declared, pressing play.
My thoughts tripped over one another as my world was brought together and then shattered all over again as the video played.
"You guys don't mind being on camera, do you?"
"Have you guys heard about what's happening to he-who-shall-not-be-named?"
"But wouldn't it have been better to egg his car or something rather than accusing him of things he didn't actually do?"
"What are you gonna tell them, that the five of us concocted false claims to ruin him the way he almost ruined all of us?
"He had it coming anyway."
"Do you guys think the police will find out we lied about the claims?"
"There's no way. We made sure our stories had all the important details. They're very similar. There's no way they'll suspect anything. It'll work."
"They won't accuse five high school girls of lying about rape. They won't dare."
As the video finished, I felt paralyzed.
I should've been happy. I was innocent, the video proved that ten times over. However, all I felt was a headache forming. My world was being shattered even further and I feared I was past the point of being able to put it back together.
Iris, my Iris, was their friend.
She invited them into her home.
She did this to help me, to clear my name.
And they trusted her enough to tell her their secrets. They trusted her.
But if she was their friend, why was she helping me? And why was she now destroying their narrative?
Was this her way of getting back at me for three years ago? I had apologized and I thought she had forgiven me. Was that all a lie so that she could help them ruin me?
I shook my head at myself. I knew all of my accusations against Iris were wrong because I knew her. She was good. She would never intentionally hurt me or anyone else for that matter if it was undeserved. God, maybe she did think I deserved this because I broke her heart all those years ago.
Anger flooded my mind as I tore my eyes from the screen. I swallowed hard, trying to control myself. I was on edge; I needed to calm down before I blew up. Taking in a couple of deep breathes, I felt my heartbeat slow down.
My thoughts unscrambled as Seth began speaking. "Now you know why this case will not be going to trial," he stated, closing his laptop.
Anne blinked, looking fazed for the first time since I met her. "So what exactly are you proposing?"
Seth was quick to respond. "Drop all charges against my client."
She squinted her eyes at him. "And you won't charge them with defamation?"
He shook his head. "That's yet to be decided. Whether we do or not is up to Nick."
From what felt like a distance, I could hear the girls trying to convince their parents that it was all a setup, that I really did do what they were claiming. I could hear Seth was having a back and forth with their lawyers. But I didn't care, not anymore.
I was free.
Before the anxiousness could eat me up, I tapped Seth's shoulder.
I must've looked awful when I should've been looking relieved, happy that my name was going to be cleared because Seth looked worried when he caught my eye. "What's wrong?"
"Do you need me to stay? I need fresh air, go home maybe," I whispered, not trusting my voice to not crack.
He contemplated for a minute. I almost thought he was going to tell me he did need me, but he digressed. "I'll come over this evening to go over everything. Take care of yourself, okay? Don't do anything stupid."
"Thanks, man," I patted his shoulder, "I'll see you tonight." And with that, I walked out of the conference room, my shoulders feeling heavier than when I'd first walked in about an hour ago.
Iris was forefront in my mind as I headed straight to her home. I was way too confused and I needed her to clear it all up before I went insane.
***
As I pulled up to Iris's home, I found her speed walking to her car. She halted in her step when she caught sight of my car. I quickly cut the engine and jumped out, heading to where she stood.
When I got to her, I made sure to put a few feet between us. I couldn't trust myself to be this close to her without crumbling under her beautiful eyes. I wanted to pull her to me, to bring those full lips against mine, to share the good news about my case, but that would all be pointless. We needed to talk. She has a lot of explaining to do.
She smiled sweetly at me, oblivious to the firestorm brewing inside my head. "Hey, I didn't know you were coming over," she said, reaching out for my hand. When I took a step back from her, her eyes widened and she blinked.
I shook my head. "We need to talk, Iris."
She studied the space I'd put between us for a long while before nodding slowly. "About what? Are you okay?"
The words just escaped me. "Are you friends with my accusers?" I blurted without any filters. I wasn't going to sugarcoat anything. My voice was low and cutting.
The light diminished in her eyes. She suddenly looked scared and...guilty. "I guess you can say that."
I don't know what I was hoping for, but hearing her admit to it tore my heart open. However, she quickly scrambled to explain herself. "I'm not really friends with them, Nick. I just pretended to be."
My frustration was seeping into my features. I could feel my face morphing into that of anger. "Why would you need to pretend to be friends with them after they come out and accuse me?"
Her breathing was labored. I could see the quick rise and fall of her chest as she spoke fast. "I didn't become 'friends' with them after, Nick, it was before."
My eyebrows furrowed. "What?"
She swallowed hard. "I knew them before the accusations came out. I met Daisy in English when I returned to school and she ended up telling me all about what you did to all of them. She asked me for help and because I was still angry with you, I agreed. When I invited you to that party and met you there that night, I was helping them. But I swear I didn't know what they were planning. I thought they were going to prank you or something.
After everything came out, I knew I had to do something so I got them all together in my house and taped them admitting to it. I gave it to your lawyer...You've seen it, haven't you? That's why you're here, mad at me." Tears were brimming in her eyes. She looked so sad. The pure honesty in her eyes was all I needed to know that she was telling me the full truth.
I couldn't see past my anger, though, and I hated that. "You helped start all of this?" I coldly bit out.
"I didn't know what I was starting, Nick," she pleaded with a weakening voice, reaching out to caress my arm.
I flinched away from her. "Don't touch me, Iris, I can't handle that right now."
She dropped her eyes from mine and her hand fell limply to her side. "I'm sorry. I wish I had asked what they were planning before I helped drag you into this mess. I should've done my due diligence instead of helping them attack you. I regret it so much, Nick, you have no idea. I want you to know that I'm sorry, I am so so so so sorry. I'll take full blame for everything," she croaked, visibly trying really hard not to cry, "I'm sorry."
I exhaled loudly, not knowing how to handle this. "Maybe we need a break." The words were already past my lips when I realized what I was saying.
At that, she caught my eyes. The agony that was entrapped in them almost brought me to my knees. "Nick. Don't. Please." Her tears fell and it took all the strength I could muster not to bring her into my arms to soothe her. She shouldn't be crying. My girl, my beautiful girl, shouldn't be crying. But I was hurting, too, and I didn't trust myself to handle this right if I were to give in to her right now. I need time to let everything sink in, to accept her and what she'd done. Our future would surely fail if I didn't come to terms with everything before continuing with her.
So I took in a painful breath and spoke as clearly as I could. "I need space, Iris. I can't think clearly with you this close to me. I can't be objective right now and I really don't want to say or do anything I'll later regret. Just give me some time to think." I knew right at that moment that I had broken her heart again. I was breaking my own heart, too. And I hated myself for it. "I'm not ending...us. I just need space. That's all."
"Space from me?" She whispered through her tears. Her hands were shaking as she tried to wipe her face clean, but a new batch of tears fell, diminishing her progress.
I nodded, hardening my heart against the sight before me. "Yeah. I'll call you when I'm ready."
"Nick."
"Don't, Iris. Just let me be, okay?"
She blinked three times. Eventually, she nodded. "Alright, whatever you want." She sounded defeated, so weak, and so unlike the girl who owned my heart.
I gave her a tight smile and forced myself to turn and walk away. I know I left my heart with her as I sped off her street with her agonized face taking the front seat of my mind.
You need to do this. You have to figure this out before you come back to her or you will permanently destroy everything. You need to do this. I repeated this to myself over and over and over again to make sure I didn't make a U-turn to go back to her.
And although I had my innocence proven, it felt like somehow everything had gotten worse.
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{please don't forget to comment and vote. thank you so much for the support}
QUESTIONS I HAVE:
- So what do you think?
- How do you feel about Nick and Iris right now?
- What do you think about the girls?
THANK YOU!