my mom and i got into the hospital and i was shaking, i was hoping praying i hadn't lost my baby, there's a human growing inside of me and if that human has died then it won't feel right, g and i made that baby out of love, and we could quite possibly get the worst thing in return.
"ashley frangipane to room 7, i repeat ashley frangipane to room 7" i heard the loud speaker boom out from across the room.
my mum and i walk into room 7, like were told to, we walk in hand in hand. i don't want to hear this.
"we hear that you feel like there is something wrong with your baby, is that correct, miss frangipane?" the doctor said to me which pulled me out of my daydream.
"um, yes, but please call me ashley, yesterday i got really bad pains in my stomach and they were so bad i couldn't walk" i explain. "after i managed to get up, i went to my moms house and immediately i went to the toilet and i was bleeding. i was bleeding so much. so i told my mom, and we tried getting a doctors appointment but we couldn't, so here we are" i said wiping away a tear that fell from my eyes.
"well if you can lay back and list your shirt up, we can check" he said smiling at me.
"ok" i said lying back and lifting my shirt up over my growing belly. i felt some cold gel go into my stomach and be rubbed around, he was looking at the screen and stopped rubbing the probe on my stomach and put it down.
"i will be back in a second, sorry" he said then got up and left, i tried looking at the screen but couldn't as it had turned off. about a minute later not him, but another doctor came back into the room.
"hello, i'm doctor stylik (a/n. fight me hoes) , and i just need to check something so i'm going to put the gel back onto your stomach" she said smiling and i nodded an 'ok'
she rubbed the gel on my tummy and looked at the screen with a worried look on her face.
"what's wrong?" my mother asked her.
"i'm really sorry ashley, we couldn't find a heartbeat"
•••
i jolted up, breathing heavily. i got up out of bed and went over to the cot and i looked over it sighing in relief seeing jayden sleeping peacefully in it.
"that's a good boy" i whisper to him reaching down stroking his cheek with my index finger.
"babe..." i jump at the sound of gerald's voice. "it's 4 am babe, come back to bed"
"i couldn't sleep" i say turning around and looking down at my bare feet.
"another nightmare about the miscarriage?" he said getting out of bed and hugging me. i just nod. "oh baby. i cant tell you to get over it because that would just be wrong, but do you know what's triggered them and why you started having them again?"
"i don't know" i say shaking my head, "i'm sorry"
"no no no, don't be sorry. it's not your fault" he said kissing my neck instantly making me feel better, i let out a small moan. "let's go back to bed"
"ok" i walk back to bed and put the covers over me, closing my eyes i hope for a happy dream and not one of those crappy nightmares again.
•••
"you know, it might help if you told the police about lauren... and your parents" i heard g say while he made me some toast.
"but why, they have- they had nothing to do with my nightmares, and i'll just feel bad" i say back to him trying to prove a point.
"urgh see, you're too kind" g says coming over to me and cupping my face in his hands "you're so kind, that people can't do wrong to you"
"sorry"
"don't say sorry, no. you've said sorry far too much these past few days. you have nothing to be sorry for baby" he said while kissing my cheek over and over again. "but please, just think about it" he said then sighed, "i hate how lauren's just walking free like butter wouldn't fu- melt" he said, about to swear but remembered we have a child with us, i let out a small laugh. "and your parents, like ok they didn't attempt to murder you or anything like that, but they did tell the media that you had died. and then didn't tell you til nearly a year after" ok, so he has a point. but i cant dog my own parents into the police, nor my ex best friend, however much of a psycho she is, i couldn't do that.
"i think i'll do it, if it means it might make my nightmares go away then anything's worth a shot" i say as i sigh and get up. going over to jays play pen i read down and pick him up. "who's a good boy for mommy? are you going to be a good boy for daddy when mommy goes out. she won't be long she promises" i tell my nearly 2 month old baby boy.
"are you sure you don't want me to come with you?" i hear gerald ask.
"yes i am fine, i'd rather do it on my own" i say back to him and grab my coat, car keys and phone and leave.
•••
"hello officer" i say walking up to a police officer. "i need to talk to someone about something" i say forcing a small smile out.
"right this way then, miss" i get lead to this interview room. "what is this about miss?"
"um, well basically" i look down and fiddle with my fingers, "about 10 months ago, i got pushed down the stairs, and then the media was told that i died, im sure you heard that?"
"ah, yes so you're ashley, ashley... frangipane?"
"yea, yes i am"
"ok so tell me about what happened"
"i know who did it, and i know who told everyone i was dead" i say looking at him and see him writing it down on his piece of paper
"ok, who pushed you down the stairs?"
ok, now is my chance, but do i tell them. i really don't want to, but before i can stop myself my mouth opens. "lauren jauregui" wow i cant believe i did that, there is no going back now.
"she pushed my down the stairs. and my parents nicole and chris frangipane told the media that i was dead" i sigh in relief that i have finally told someone.
"are you sure that it was them?"
"yes, gerald, my fiancé ran into the building when he heard a loud bang, and didn't know what happened but then lauren was saying something about how she didn't mean to hurt me or something like that, and then we got to the hospital and then i got told i was pregnant and then after that, like 3/4 days after gerald came into the hospital and came out my room crying and then saw me, and ran up to me and how i'm alive and shit. oh sorry probably not allowed to swear, but he ran into my arms and just cried about how happy he is that i'm alive" i said taking a breath because that was practically an essay for me to say that. "then about 2 months ago, just before my baby born, my parents came over and told us that they had been the ones that told the media that i had died, all they did it because lauren deserved to go to prison for what she did" i say looking at the guys hand who must ache by now for writing that all down.
•••
that felt so good to finally get it off my chest.
as i turned my key into the keyhole of my front door, i smelt spagbol. was gerald cooking? like really? i walked in and saw jay watching baby tv and saw gerald... cooking.
"damn baby that smells good" i say to him as i wrap my arms around his waist from behind. "by the way i told the police"
"thanks babe, and that's good, i know you didn't want to do that"
"i just want my life back"
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a/n
that chapter was 1416 words, by far the longest chapter i've ever written, so i hope you enjoy it. and before you ask no i didn't proof read it, ill proof read it when i've finished writing the entire book. this book will go under major editing surgery, so yeah.
all the love 💕 L x