Chapter 13: Clarity
"There's nothing quite as intense as the moment of clarity when you suddenly see what's really possible for you."
~Unknown
Carla glared as if he was right in front of her, able to see her face. "Nothing is more important than her right now!" She shouted into the receiver. Her voice was a bit higher than her expectations, but she had to let it be known. Her feelings that is.
Her blood boiling and if only she had the power to reach inside the phone and grabbed Frank by his collar then she would. At a time like this, Carla believed in her heart that Rae needed her family. Any time anyone went through anything like this, family was the closest thing to an actual antidote. The closest thing that can potentially make things go back to normal.
A small cure that can temporarily take the pain away.
But for some reason- a reason that Carla couldn't figure out- Frank wouldn't bulge. He was sticking to his word and of course like any other day, his word was final. Something that Carla thought she would be use to it by now, especially after all these years.
"I can't come right now," he voiced. "It's way to soon for me to show up."
Carla frowned. "What the hell does that mean?" She snapped. "This was your idea! Your daughter is thousands of miles away from home. Not once have you directly spoken to her and it's going on almost three months. You need to come out here and get her. She's hurt."
She waited for him to respond, but all she got was silence on the other end. It was taking everything in her to not curse him out. Holding her tongue for the past couple of decades seemed like a mistake now.
"So that's it, your gonna leave her?" She questioned him in disbelief. Pacing back and forth in her kitchen, she laughed. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised right? I mean this is your M.O. Love, leave, and forget right?"
"And what exactly do you mean by that Carla?" Frank asked. She heard a hint of confusion mixed with anger in his voice."
"You know exactly what I mean!"
"I did everything I could for you," he mentioned loudly."
"And we both know that's a lie," Carla huffed.
She knew that she was beginning to test his patience, but it was the start of a conversation that was long overdue. He was the love of her life and she allowed him to just throw her away like old news. Tossed her like yesterdays garbage. It was still an open wound and it seemed as though his choices and words poured salt into it every day.
Protecting Rae was the only thing that mattered at the moment. She'd be damned if she allowed him to do the same thing to her... Rae.
"I swear I tried Carla," he told her.
The last thing she wanted to hear was his excuses as to why they never made it. It was very clear back then that he wanted someone with substance and who had an impeccable background. She had neither. Her parents were both textile workers in the south and the only thing that they could afford at the time were basic things in order to survive. Extravagant items were never given to her on birthday and holidays. She'd be lucky if she got a gift at all.
That was until she meet Frank Harris. Grandson of a very prestigious businessman in Tulsa, Oklahoma. His grandfather was well known throughout a neighborhood call Greenwood where most African Americans moved to the area around the early 1900s. The neighborhood flourished and was a great place to restart, rebuild and be away from slavery and other harsh treatments that they had to endure.
Soon the neighborhood was known as The Negro Wall Street. Wealthy African American men and women thrived everyday, assisting each other rather than competing since during that time segregated laws kept them from shopping and engaging with one another in other areas.
That was until the Tulsa Race Riots...
It was a difficult time but the elders of the Harris family were blessed enough to make it through and rebuild their fortunes and passed it down generation to generation.
Carla had met Frank at a local supermarket. Her mother had sent her to the market for a roll of oats and a loaf of bread, but the money she had wasn't enough. Embarrassed that Frank was standing next to her when the clerk told her she was short. She hastily walked out of the store, leaving the food and unconsciously the few dollars she did have. Her mind was so far gone that she hadn't realized that she was being followed by a guy full of groceries in his hands.
He was her best friend. Her only friend...
But just like every other man, he moved on and of course with the help of his parents. Who's true agenda was to keep the wealth within the family and marry their son off with someone of equal or higher caliber. Someone who wasn't Carla, but she was worthy of two position and two position only.
The Other Woman and The Help.
Despite his parents disapproval at first, Frank had got her a job working for the Harris family. She was only worthy of being kept close, but nothing more. Starting from washing dishes to cleaning rooms, it took everything in her to do a great job so she could receive more duties. At first, Carla thought it was a great idea, given the fact that she would be near Frank all the time, but that soon died down as his mother caught on.
As they got older and more mature, dates with other women started to be constant. Carla knew it was his parents idea, but never saw him refute. His mother didn't care about about the different women that he would bring home each night. As long as it was her.
"You're going to regret leaving her like this," she said. The only sentence that she wished that she said early on her their relationship. "Don't do it."
Carla didn't wait for him to respond. Instead, she hanged up on him and tossed her phone on her glass dining room table. Sitting down, she took a deep breath and tried to figure out what she can do to change the situation.
Rae didn't belong in the hood and yes Carla strongly believed that she made progress to be more mature. But enough was enough.
"Sir where to next?" His driver said as the partition rolled down.
Frank glanced out his window, trying to put his thoughts together. He put Desiree in danger and for what? To teach her a lesson? He had to tell her the truth and not just half of it but about the dynamics of their family. He figured that she was old enough to understand.
"Los Angeles," he told his driver.
"It's all most heeled up,' the female told them. "The swelling has gone down a bit, but I suggest you still apply an ice pack to your jaw. The lacerations on your neck is heeling up well also. I'm just gonna give you another weeks worth of pain medicine seeing as though I believe everything should be heeled by then. Any questions?"
Rae shook her head no and hopped of the doctors bed. The only thing on her mind was to hurry up and get out of the doctors office. What she didn't understand was why she had to come again, but she knew her the answer to that question...
Levi.
It had only been a week since her attack and he hadn't' left her side since. He checked on her constantly throughout the day to make sure she was doing well. Or in her eyes, coping. She was coping just fine, or so she thought. Instead he wouldn't take her word for it seeing as though he needed proof and the only proof he was going to get was through his own eyes only.
When Rae would wake up every morning he would simply ask if she was ok. She would try to put his mind at ease by saying yes and go on with her morning rituals. She caught him staring several times as if he had something on his mind that he wanted to tell her, but he never voiced them. His own unwavering thoughts. Stared. Walked away. All resulting by putting her on edge.
Levi would drive her to work. Knowing that part of the reason why was because her red truck wasn't a reliable transportation to begin with, but the other reason being he wanted to have eyes on her at all times. The only problem with that was having to go to work and forcing him to leave so she could do her job at the market.
"I promise you I'm fine," she told him. He would walk to his car, everyday, look back at her through the glass windows of the market and hop in his car, taking off. Even Uncle Pete was driving her mad, babying her like a porcelain doll. He found out about the attack and everyday treated her like she was fragile and Rae was getting sick of it. She knew that everyone was just trying to be on caution. Most importantly, they were waiting on her to break.
When Levi would pick her up after her shift, he would ask her 21 questions. Are you ok? How was work? What happened? Are you sure everything went find today? Nobody tried anything? You positive that your ok? Everyday the answers would be the same.
Arriving to the apartment buildings were tedious as well. Quiet and not a soul was siting outside anymore. No guys hanging out shooting dice, cursing or fighting. Women were not on the steps doing each others hair. Music died down after 9pm. Ever since her attack, Rae felt her neighbors behavior switched drastically. She knew Levi had something to do with it. He was becoming just a bit overprotective and that would be the only reason for her to explode.
They had walked outside the doctor's offices and into the parking lot in silence. But that alone was making Rae antsy. It was the little things that were beginning to figuratively close her in. Her mind would start to wander on the possibilities on his motives. Did he really care for her? Or did he have another agenda? She didn't know anything for sure. All she had was hope.
As if the first time that they kiss didn't confuse her as much. Several times, he made it a point to say that he wasn't attracted to her? If that was the case, what was the kiss about? The entire situation was too much to decipher and sometimes she just wanted to bring it up. Other times, she found herself just being mute to her confused feelings and pushing everything in her head for another day. But today was different.
Rae wanted answers an she hoped that he would provided them. The rays of the bright sun in Los Angeles bounced off her skin as they walked to his car. Like a gentlemen that he has been for the past couple of weeks, Levi opened her door once they got to it.
"Thanks," she nodded, avoiding his gaze.
From the corner of her eye, she saw him nod and close the door behind her. The ride home was nothing more than uneventful. She wanted to bring up her feelings so many times, but every time she decided against it. They crossed a line they couldn't come back from and you could cut their tension with a knife
Having this discussion over dinner was the last thing she wanted to do. All she could see herself doing at this point was crawling into his bed and dosing off to sleep, just to start the day over again. Although that sounded nice, talking about it was the only solution to move forward. To stop the hesitant conversations that started with unwanted questions. Weird stares and worried glances.
"Levi," Rae called out and peeked around the corner.
The two made it home in record time. Unwind and made themselves comfortable. Without saying anything to one another just like every other night. They both went their separate ways, getting ready for the night. She stepped from around the corner eyeing him.
He was dressed in just grey sweat pants. His chest and feet bare due to the heat of the LA weather. The air conditioner was out in the building and Levi was unable to fix it. His strong back glistened by the slight pesperation, giving Rae a view that she couldn't complain about. His muscle flexed as he moved around the kitchen.
"Wassup?" He asked.
"Levi I know what your doing," Rae begun, trying to stay on task and not get side tracked by his physique. "And I appreciate everything that you've been doing for me, but it's beginning to be to much."
"What are you talking about?" Levi responded as he let go of the knife in his hand and reached for hers. It seemed like the natural thing to do no. He tried several times to keep his hands to himself, giving her the space that she wanted, but it was hard.
Rae attempted to get out of his reach, but he held her with a vice grip. "This!" She exclaimed.
He glanced at her with his bronze eyes, blinked, and turned back around. He shuffled around the kitchen, ignoring her. "You want soft or hard taco shells?"
As Levi continued to chop up onions, she watched as he tossed them in the hot cast iron skillet along with different color bell peppers. The vegetables sizzled rapidly as they started to caramelize. She waited for him to say something. Any thing pertaining to the subject matter that she was attempting to force among them.
"I know you're worried about me Levi, but I'm fine," she told him.
"Are you ready to eat?" He said, ignoring her.
Rae sighed in exasperation. "I think I should go back to my apartment," she announced.
She thought that it would be easier for them if they were in their own space and in their own world. Rae had been living with Levi since the attack and a part of her was thinking that he blamed it on him. It wasn't his fault. She watched as he turned the burner off and pushed the pan to the back burner.
"I don't think that's a good idea," he finally said.
His back was turned towards her. "And why is that?" She questioned.
"Someone needs to watch you Rae," he explained, his voice monotone as if the conversation was beginning to bore him.
"You think hovering is watching?" She snapped. A hand placed on her hip in frustration.
Levi pivoted around to face her. His eyes hard with such demand. "Someone has to!"
Rae shook her head in disbelief. "I don't need anyone watching over me like I'm a child," she fussed. "I'm one hundred percent capable of taking care of myself."
"Why can't I help you?" He asked.
"Why do you wanna help me?" Rae reverted the question back to him.
"Why do women ask so many damn questions?" He asked her. "Your mom and pops left yo ass in the hood to defend yourself! Your homies and the people that you knew abandoned you! I'm the only one here. Me and Carla! Let me help you Rae! Shit!"
His outburst caused her to stumble back. Not expecting his rage, she felt his anger from deep within, but didn't understand why he felt the need to help her. If her own family didn't want to help her, how could she truly believe that Levi was here for her? That he had her best interest at heart.
She had to ask him on last questions to ease her mind. It had been nagging her since she could remember. Throughout her life, Rae had known people who only lend a helping hand if they had an hidden agenda. Need something in advance, but never asked up front about it. Hell she used to be one of them.
"What do you want in return?" She questioned him softly.
Clasping a hand at the back of her neck, he moved forward, invading her space and not giving her a chance to rethink anything. His lips moved over hers slowly first, but an imaginable force moved inside of him. He took over her senses. Her being. Her everything. His masculine hands grasping her hips, forcing her more into him.
"So this is what you want," she mumbled against his succulent lips. "Sex."
"No. Every time I'm around you I find it difficult to keep my hands to myself," he confessed.
He backed away from her, as if being so close to her would drive him to do things that he didn't think she was ready for.
"You said that even if I was the last woman on the earth you wouldn't wanna be with me."
"People change their ways and people change their minds Rae," he mumbled. "That's life."
She gave him a look and leaned against the corner as she watched him stir the taco meat. It was simple things that started to make him more attractive. She was use to Carla making her meals back at the manor, but as she watched him stride over to other cabinets in search of something, she thought she could get use to the view.
"I thought you didn't respect me," she stated. "What changed."
Levi stayed quite and turned the burner back on. He peeked behind him his gazed sauntered over every inch of her body. His eyes heated with nothing more than pure desire, but Rae knew more. "You started respecting yourself."
Clarification wasn't needed as she understood clearly. From the constant beliefs of being above everyone around her due to the fact that she had money and others didn't. Being rude and snobbish to people when they were nothing, but nice. Constantly thinking that she needed money to survived when it fact living was so much more than that. Once she started to respect others around her, it was then that she started to respect herself.
And as she watch as Levi grabbed two plates from the cabinets above the stove, it was even more clear about them. And if she ever had a doubt, it vanished the moment he turned around and smiled. His teeth radiated to perfection as his eyes wandered in adornment.
Everything was easy to perceived then.
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A/N: Sorry for the super late chapter, I'm pushing through writers block! The next chapter you won't be waiting forever lol.
Thanks for reading!
~Vicky xoxo