A/N: I can only apologise for the sheer length of time it has taken for me to update this story. It's not been for a lack of wanting to write, nor a wish to leave you waiting. Thank you for staying with it, and I hope this chapter makes up for the long wait. I hope you are all well, and happy Pride Month!
It was late. It was probably time, Lauren reflected, to go to bed. She'd spent the past week or so finalising all the details of the JMA Christmas Party. This was a big annual event. The ideal time to meet and impress potential clients, and generate the publicity that the company thrived on. The final few invitations had been sent out that evening, and responses were already flooding in. At this time of year, this was one of the hottest invites in town, and Lauren had enjoyed sitting up to watch the A-list guest list grow.
This year's event was set to be bigger than ever. As suggested by Normani, JMA had decided to merge the Christmas Party with Ally Brooke's label launch, to create maximum interest around the new brand. It was certainly doing its job so far; celebrities were excited to be a part of the exclusive new clothing line.
Yawning, Lauren closed her laptop, and set it down on the coffee table. She walked over to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water, and leant against the worktop, quietly contemplating her day's work. It would be a lie if she said she had not been waiting in hope that Camila's affirmative reply would come through that evening, but the other woman had not responded yet. The invitation extended to the whole Cabello family, including Ruben, but it was Camila's reply that was her main focus.
Her glass drained, she set it down on the side, and then set about turning off the various lamps around the room, so that she could retire to bed. Just as she padded over to the final lamp, there was a knock on the door.
With it being nearly midnight, she was not entirely confident that she wanted to know who was on the otherside of the door. Knocks on doors at midnight tended not to carry good news.
The knock came again, this time more persistent, and Lauren gave a sigh. Yanking on her sweater, she padded over to the door, and opened it slowly. It was on the chain, so it only opened a couple of inches, but it was far enough to see who was waiting outside.
"Lauren!"
"Taylor! Oh my goodness!"
She flung the door open, and her sister leapt forward to fling her arms about her.
"I had no idea you were coming! What are you doing in New York?"
"To see you, of course! It's the end of the semester and I wanted to come here before I headed home to Miami,"
"You could have called in advance!"
"I wanted to surprise you," Taylor laughed, "But my flight got delayed. I'm glad you were still awake, I thought I might have to sleep on your doormat,"
"As if. You know Dinah lives a few blocks away,"
"True," Taylor mused, "And Camila too now, I've heard. How are relations with your new neighbour?"
"Why do you ask?"
"I've just seen the two of you twenty feet high on billboards coming in from New Jersey,"
"You're joking!" Lauren gaped.
"Surely you know what billboards you're on, Lauren?" Taylor laughed, shaking her head.
"The design team said they'd finalised the photos they were using for the posters," groaned Lauren, "I didn't get a chance to look over them, but I never imagined they'd use our pair shots,"
"Well, you looked great anyway," Taylor patted her on the shoulder, "Now are you going to stand there whinging at me all night, or are you going to let me in?"
"I'll make you sleep on that doormat in a minute if you're not careful," Lauren said, wagging a finger at her younger sister, "Less of your cheek, huh?"
"I'm jetlagged as hell and I want a bed for the night," Taylor raised her hands, "I'll be as good as gold,"
Lauren backed in to let Taylor walk inside. The youngest Jauregui threw her duffel bag down by the sofa, and slumped down into the seat with a contented groan.
"Make yourself at home, why don't you," Lauren poked her in the ribs, "Can I get you a drink, your royal highness?"
"I think I'm abstaining from alcohol for the time being," Taylor gave a chuckle, "My liver needs to recover from uni,"
"I'm not offering you alcohol, you muppet," Lauren rolled her eyes, "I'm about to go to bed, I'm hardly going to leave my sister alone in my apartment to drink herself into a stupor on my couch, am I?"
"Sorry, mum," Taylor raised an eyebrow, "You're not staying up with me for a bit then?"
"It's late, Tay, I've got work tomorrow,"
"Can I come in with you?"
"Yeah, sure, if you want,"
"Cool, " Taylor hugged a cushion to her chest and flopped back onto the sofa.
"I'll find you a blanket and then I'm off to bed. Are you going to be okay on the couch?"
"For sure," nodded Taylor, "I've slept on worse,"
"I'm not even going to ask," Lauren sighed, dragging a throw out of the cupboard in the hall, "Will this do?"
"Looks great, thanks,"
Lauren threw the blanket over to her sister, who began arranging her bed on the sofa.
"You look like you've got everything then," Lauren nodded in satisfaction, "Turn the lights off when you go to bed, yeah? See you in the morning, Tay,"
"Night, Laur,"
Lauren left the room as her younger sibling got ready for bed. From her room, she could just make out the noises of her sister moving around the living room, unpacking stuff from her bag and changing into her sleepwear. She had not seen Taylor in almost six months, and had really missed her. The two of them had been particularly close when they were younger, and that tight sisterly bond had re-emerged again as they got older.
Leaving Miami for New York and seeing Taylor spread her own wings and go to university had been difficult. They had gone from living in the same house and sharing everything, to leading entirely different lives, and that was not easy. At one time, Lauren had been the eldest child, but now her brother and sister were adults too, and it was still a struggle to see them striking out on their own. Knowing that Taylor was next door was almost a relief, although she would never admit it to her. She was delighted to have her little sister with her again.
The alarm clock on her bedside table read that the time was coming up to 2am, and Lauren faintly wondered if she would still be lying here awake when it went off at 7.30am to get her up for work.
"Taylor?" she called from her room.
"Yeah?"
"You sound like a herd of actual elephants, are you planning on going to bed anytime soon? I thought you were jetlagged!"
"I am,"
"We've got an early start tomorrow,"
"I know," her sister called back, "I'm going to bed now,"
There were a few minutes of peace and quiet, until Lauren heard the distinct noise of her microwave beeping, and the sound of Taylor rifling around in her refrigerator. Grumbling, Lauren pulled her pillow over her head and tried to block out the sound. Evidently she had underestimated the student lifestyle.
Eventually, she managed to get to sleep, and when she got up the next morning, she was looking forward to bursting in on her sister, and getting some retribution for the noisy night before. Disappointingly, Taylor was already up and awake when Lauren tiptoed in.
"Hoping to give me a nice wake up call?" Taylor laughed, sitting with a bowl of cereal at the breakfast bar.
"Getting my revenge for last night, you mean! What the hell needed microwaving at 2am?"
"Ramen,"
"It was 2am, Taylor,"
"So? I was hungry,"
"Right," Lauren sighed, "How do your flatmates even put up with you?"
"I've got a flatmate who ate icecream for breakfast everyday for three weeks," Taylor pointed out, "I'm really quite normal by comparison,"
"I'll believe that when I see it," Lauren replied, "I'm just going for a shower and then we'll head out. You okay with taking the subway?"
"Sure, sounds good,"
Half an hour later they were walking out the door and strolling down to the nearest subway station. It was crisp and cold outside; the air held a sharp sting whenever the wind even slightly picked up. Both women had their hands stuffed firmly in their pockets, attempting to protect their fingers from the chill. When they finally got into the station, they struggled to place their cards against the scanners to pass the barriers; the dexterity in their fingers entirely stripped away by the numbness that had set in.
It was not a long subway journey to the JMA building, but it always felt longer when the train was as packed as it was at rush hour. There were no free seats, and Taylor and Lauren had to endure an uncomfortable journey in a carriage brimming with people. It soon got quite warm in their multiple layers of clothing, and they were pleased to escape into the open air when they arrived at their station.
When they got into the JMA building, they were greeted with heating and shelter from the biting wind, and they were able to remove their bulky winter coats in the elevator up to Lauren's office. As the doors pinged open, Normani was just walking through the corridor outside.
"Good morning, Normani. You remember Taylor?"
"Of course! Hi Taylor, how have you been?"
"Pretty good, thank you," Taylor beamed, "Enjoying uni,"
"I don't doubt it! Lauren didn't mention you were coming for a visit at the end of semester,"
"That's because she didn't tell me," Lauren gave a wry smile, "She's lucky I was feeling charitable when she rocked up on my doorstep at 1am this morning,"
Taylor gave a bashful grin and shrugged.
"That's what siblings are for, right?" Normani chuckled, shaking her head, "Are you staying for the JMA Christmas Party, Taylor?"
"Definitely," Taylor nodded, "Mum and Dad are flying up to be here for it, so I'm planning on staying here until then, and then I'll go back to Miami with them,"
"And when was I getting informed of this plan?" Lauren asked.
"Now," Taylor patted her arm cheerfully, "Surely you can put up with me for a week?"
"Fine, but I'm putting a curfew on microwave use,"
"Deal. Can we go out tonight?"
"I thought you were giving your liver a break?"
"Oh, but I want to go clubbing in New York," Taylor complained, "Normani, are you up for a wild night out with me and Laur?"
"I didn't know Lauren did wild nights out," Normani grinned, tongue held firmly between her teeth.
"We can invite Dinah and Camila too," Taylor added excitably, "Oh come on, Lauren, it would be a laugh,"
"We've got one of New York's biggest social events planned for just a week's time. Is that not enough of a party for you?"
"No," Taylor replied blankly, "Cool. I'll call around then and get everyone on board. Normani, are you all good for 9pm tonight?"
"If you are then I'm there," Normani smiled.
"Awesome," Taylor clapped her hands, "I'm off to make some calls then,"
Lauren and Normani watched the youngest Jauregui hurry off down the corridor, disappearing into Lauren's office at the end. The door closed, and within seconds, her voice was audible, chattering away happily down the phone.
"I can't even believe you two are related," Normani shook her head in wonder.
"That makes two of us then,"
"Actually, seeing as Taylor mentioned Camila, I've just seen that the Cabello family has accepted the invite for the party,"
"They have? Including Camila?"
Normani nodded, pulling out her phone and showing Lauren the email response.
"Alejandro, Sinu, Camila and Ruben of course, all due to attend. Only Cabello not set to be in attendance is Sofia,"
"Okay. Thanks, Mani,"
"No worries. I'll keep monitoring the guest list and let you know of any changes,"
"I don't suppose we can withdraw Ruben's invitation?" Lauren asked, expression inscrutable.
"Lauren! He's her husband,"
"I'm just kidding," Lauren gave a laugh, "Just a joke, Mani,"
"I wish I could believe it," Normani wagged a warning finger in her face, "Haven't you got work to be doing?"
"Oh, probably," Lauren waved a hand airily, "Actually, now that I think about it, Taylor mentioned something about billboards... I didn't realise they'd gone up yet?"
"The designs team sent them to you to be authorised but you didn't respond so I signed them off instead. Why, is there a problem?"
"Can you show me what you authorised?"
"Er, yeah. They're on my laptop, I think,"
They stepped into Normani's office, and she logged into her computer quickly and found the corresponding documents. Turning the screen around, she clicked through the images for Lauren.
"Oh Mani, what the hell?"
"What?"
"You signed off the one of me and Camila?"
"Yeah, it looks great,"
"You didn't think that might piss me off ever so slightly?"
"Look, I was dealing with an admin backlog and I think I just signed it off to get one more thing out of the way. I'm sorry if you're pissed off, but it's business. It's a great promotional image, and that's what we went with,"
Lauren gave a discontented groan and sat back in her chair.
"Is it up in Times Square?"
"Yes," Normani replied smoothly.
"And on the posters for the Christmas Party?"
"Also yes,"
"Great," Lauren gave a sigh, "Flipping great,"
Normani fiddled with her pen nervously, before setting it down on the table between them.
"Try and think of it with some perspective, eh, Lauren? It's just a picture,"
"Yeah,"
There was a pause, and then Lauren got quietly up and returned to her own office.
With it being so late in the year, there was nothing new or fresh coming into her inbox. As Normani had said, it was just endless admin for ongoing projects and running ventures. Most of it could be reassigned to the administration department, but more sensitive client information could only be dealt with by her and her management team. She worked her way steadily through the alarming stack of papers on her desk, and then turned her attention to examining the latest reports from their finance team.
Business was booming, and their profits from the past year eclipsed those of the year before. Previously, seeing such success had filled her with a sense of pride, but that sense was absent now. The numbers merely appeared as dreary little marks on a wide, blank page. Empty figures that seemed only to chart up hours spent in an office, sat behind a desk.
Her door opened and Taylor stepped inside. Lauren looked up at her.
"Am I wasting my time, Taylor?"
"I..." her sister took a step back, looking bewildered, "Sorry, Laur, you've lost me already,"
"This," Lauren gestured at the room around her, "What does it all mean?"
"I'm sorry," Taylor apologised again, "I still don't follow,"
"I used to love my job, Tay. Really love it. But I just don't get the same satisfaction from doing it anymore. I feel like nothing in my life has really changed, but a year ago, I felt like I was going somewhere... and now it's just becoming monotonous,"
"Okay," Taylor nodded, pulling a chair around to sit beside her sister.
"Is that insane?"
"Not at all! I think it's perfectly natural to slip into a routine and then find that you're becoming frustrated with it suddenly,"
"I think I've been feeling like this for a while, you know? But I just didn't really realise,"
"What made you realise?"
"A multitude of things I think," Lauren contemplated quietly, "But I think I realised last night, even with you clattering around at stupid o'clock, that it was such a relief to have somebody in the apartment,"
"I don't know how you put up with living alone," Taylor shook her head, "Don't you get lonely?"
"I didn't use to," Lauren replied, "I enjoy my own company... but I think it's getting to the point where I don't want to be limited to my own company anymore,"
"Is this about Camila?" Taylor raised an eyebrow.
"How do you know about that?!" Lauren was more startled than angry.
"Chris," Taylor replied simply, "We message about it from time to time,"
"Well, that's weird,"
"Not really," Taylor brushed it aside, "So, come on. Is that what this is about?"
"This is about me, Taylor."
"You're sure it's not seeing her married and having a life without you making you wonder where your life is going?"
"These four walls are making me wonder where my life is going," Lauren responded frustratedly, "And yes, maybe Camila does have something to do with it, but the fact is, work isn't exciting me the way it used to and I feel like I'm sitting in a rut. Last year, I was sitting here feeling pride in my job, and this year, I'm sat in the same seat, and I just feel a bit..."
"Bit shit?" Taylor suggested.
"Sure, let's go with that,"
"I think you should speak to Dad," answered Taylor seriously.
"Why?"
"He might be able to help you out. If you're really struggling, you should let him know,"
"I don't want to worry him," Lauren sighed.
"I think it would worry him more if you kept going as you are. If you're feeling tired and like you need a change, he could give you something new to do. You might be able to hand over control here to somebody else and go and do your own thing for a bit. Find yourself or whatever,"
"This place is my baby though," Lauren scratched her head, "I built this from scratch. I'm not sure I could bear seeing somebody else take the reins,"
"It doesn't have to be permanent, you know," Taylor pointed out, "You could just take a year out... or, you could go somewhere new and build something new and just get a fresh start. It could be good for you, Laur,"
Lauren turned and stared out of the window. Not long ago, those skyscrapers and streets had felt like a world of adventure and potential. Some days, she still felt that, but those days were becoming rarer. She was experiencing a type of fatigue that was difficult to explain. It was as if no length of sleep these days could allow her to wake up feeling refreshed. She had hit a point of stagnation.
"Taylor?"
"Yeah?"
"I know you had plans for tonight but..."
"Oh, don't think about that for a minute," Taylor cut her off, "You need to focus on you, Lauren, I completely understand. I'll tell everyone you've got flu or something,"
"I think I'm going to go home and video call Dad and have a chat with him. I'll tell Normani that I need to head home,"
She gathered up her papers from her desk and stuffed them into her bag, before shutting her laptop down too. The sight of a clear desk gave her a slight sense of peace in her confused state of mind. As she headed for the door of her office, a final thought occured to her.
"Are you inviting Camila out tonight?"
"Yeah, I thought I would. Haven't seen her in years,"
"Okay, well..." Lauren glanced at the floor, turning away from her sister, "Tell her I'm sorry I couldn't make it?"
"Sure," Taylor nodded, "I will do,"
Lauren half smiled in thanks, before slipping out of the door. She alerted Normani to her early departure, stopping off at her office on her way out of the building. When she exited through those familiar revolving doors, she took a moment to stop and stand outside, looking back at the imposing structure.
Day in, day out, she hurried through the entrance without even stopping to take a breath. Now that she was nurturing the idea of leaving New York, she was able to see the JMA building from a new perspective. It was as if she had emerged from a tunnel, and her line of focus had expanded from a single pinprick of light, to a whole world of colour.
A weight had been lifted from her chest, just by expressing the frustration she had been feeling. Now she was entertaining the idea of a new freedom, she knew she had opened a door that she could not close again. The desire for it was blossoming in her very core.
She took the subway home. Sat in her seat, she gazed around the carriage, looking at the vacant faces and listening to the clattering of the train, drinking it all in as if she would never see it again. The trance had been broken, and she was sitting up, wide awake and alert, no longer sleep walking the days away with everyone else, but remembering that she was in command of her feet and the direction they walked.
Getting home, she telephoned her dad and asked if it was a convenient time to Skype. He heard the tone of his daughter's voice, and recognised that it was something important.
"I'll call you in half an hour," he promised her, "Can you hold on half an hour? I'll be right there with you,"
"Absolutely," she reassured him, "Half an hour is fine,"
He kept his word, and in less than thirty minute, her Skype pinged into life. Answering the call, her dad's face appeared on screen, and despite being in her twenties, Lauren felt familiar the rush of relief that comes with the arrival of a parent or guardian in moments of need.
"Alright," he beamed at her out of the screen, "Let's have a chat then. Tell me what's up,"
They spoke for several hours. Lauren explained everything that had been troubling her and what had led her to feel that she could no longer continue with her current role. He listened attentively, engaging when he could contribute, but largely allowing her just to speak. He made some suggestions, and they talked them over. He let her know that what she was feeling was normal, and sympathised with everything she said.
It was dusk when the discussion began to reach an end, and while it had been a long day, Lauren was satisfied.
"You know, Lauren," her dad said as they prepared to end the call, "I'm really proud of you for being able to talk to me about this,"
"Oh, get out of here!" she covered her face and laughed, "I needed advice and I know you're the best person to talk to,"
"Even so," her dad smiled, "It isn't always easy admitting that everything isn't perfect,"
"I really appreciate you giving me this time,"
"Not at all. And you'll think about London, yes?"
"Absolutely," she nodded earnestly.
They hung up, and Lauren went to cook herself dinner. Taylor rushed in just in time to join her, and they ate together, cross-legged on the sofa, chatting away about this and that. Lauren refused to allow herself to think about Taylor flying back to Miami in a week, because she knew she was going to miss having her sister around. It was already becoming difficult to imagine having her apartment to herself again.
"Alright, Laur," Taylor announced, checking her phone, "Time for me to head out again. Still sure I can't tempt you to come out and join us?"
"I'm sure," Lauren nodded, "I've got some thinking to do,"
"Cool. I'll catch you later then. Don't wait up!" she added with a wink.
The door closed and Lauren could hear the elevator whirring as her sister departed the building. The whole apartment seemed to stand still, and she stared around at the empty space, already starting to wish she had summoned the courage to accompany Taylor to the club. She tried not to imagine her sister out with Camila; dancing and drinking and chatting with her.
Opening the fridge door, she helped herself to a cold beer, and lay on the sofa, swigging directly from the bottle. She needed something to take her mind off Camila. Lifting the beer, she placed the cold glass bottom against her forehead. With her eyes closed, she allowed swirling images of Camila to be replaced with a vision of the London skyline.