I couldn't do it.
I made my small journey over to the cellars. They were located underground about a mile or two away from the pack house. It made sense to me to keep people prisoner a small distance from the heart of a territory in case anything were to happen that they would escape. Some packs kept their cellars under their pack house. As someone who spent a portion of their life in a cell surrounded by people like me, I never understood it. I never understood keeping threats that close to you.
I talked to two of the guards that were standing outside of the cellar entrance. They were nice. They told me that I could go right in because my mate had apparently told them in advance that I would be coming. It took me about twenty minutes to eventually get the balls to go inside, and only about four seconds to turn right back around and head back to the house.
Like I said, I couldn't do it.
I know. I know. Me, Kaia Aalish, being too afraid to speak to her father. Can I really be blamed, though? After the disaster that happened last time, I truly planned on never speaking to, let alone seeing, him again. I made a mental promise to myself that I wouldn't let myself get that low, but here I am, now—avoiding my mate at all costs, so he doesn't realize how big of a baby I am because I was too much of a wimp to speak to my father.
"Hello, Luna," a woman greeted me as I walked past her on my way into the pack house. She was an older lady, so I assumed she was just in to visit one of her kids. Anyway, her comment took me by surprise. I don't think either of us were prepared for the 'uck, hi?' that I responded with. It was her mostly, though. I don't think many wolves are used to their Lunas gagging at the mention of their title.
I made my way into the house, leaving the woman there speechless. Talk about a first impression.
I was definitely not on my way to get or even speak to Matteo. He would just make things with my dad worse. He's just too protective, sometimes. Sure, Matteo has the ability to calm me down like no other person, but he also has the ability to put all of my emotions into overdrive. I'm not sure how I'd react with both him and my father in the same room, again. And to be honest, I didn't want to find out. I wasn't about to get Jack, either. He was like the mother I never had. He'd just give me some big speech about doing what I think is right and what is best for me and yada yada yada bleh. I appreciate Jack, but I'd rather not be treated like a toddler.
"Hey, you," I snapped at some girl sitting in the first floor lounge room. Her head snapped around to make eye contact with me. Immediately, she became defensive looking like she was going to stand up and try to rip my insides out through my belly button until she realized who I was. Her features softened, and she lowered her gaze.
"Luna," she said respectfully, making me scrunch up my face.
"Um, yeah," I replied while doing my best to hold back my gag. Shaking off my disgust, I pointed at her accusingly. I didn't miss how her eyes grew, and her face paled a bit. She looked like she was about to pee herself. "You hang out with Daniella, right? Like you're friends?" She nodded. I knew I had seen her and some other girls hanging out with Daniella on a few occasions. "So, you'd probably know where she is," I concluded, earning me another nod. I groaned in frustration with her wordless state. "Christ, I'm not your Alpha. You can speak."
"Uh, yeah," she drug out with another nod.
"Well, take me there," I deadpanned. I wanted to laugh and simultaneously scoff as I watched her quickly jump up from the couch as if someone just lit a match under her.
"Um, you can just follow me," she said as she began to walk out of the lounge.
"That was sort of the point," I retorted as I trailed behind her.
At this point, I rarely noticed the looks that Matteo's pack gave me in the pack house. But as I trailed just inches behind the girl, it was impossible to not notice the looks people were sending my way. They looked almost fearful. Not for me, but for the poor girl who I decided to use as my own personal GPS. What did they honestly think I was going to do to her? Beat her? Humiliate her? Burn her? Kill her?
I get that I don't tend to associate myself with any of the people in the house other than Matteo, Jack, and Dani on a good day, but was it really that weird to think that I was capable of being friendly?
I brushed off all of the weird stares that I was receiving, and followed the girl all the way to a third floor lounge. She stopped at the entrance and pointed toward the couch. Immediately, I spotted a familiar abundance of long, blonde locks cascading off the arm of the couch.
"Leave," I stated lowly.
"Yes, Luna," she replied quietly, and quickly left my side.
"Wow, you're finally accepting your place," Daniella chuckled from the couch. I thought I had been quiet enough that she wouldn't hear, but that was probably pretty stupid of me to think. I decided to ignore her statement rather than getting into an argument, and made my way over to her instead. She was laying across the couch reading a book. Her eyes never moved away from the words on the pages to meet mine. "Is there a reason that you're staring at me like that?"
"I need you to come with me," I stated trying to keep the embarrassment out of my voice.
"Where?" She asked, seeming uninterested.
"To speak to my father."
"Is that an order as my Alpha?" She asked making my brows knit together. I shook my head, but she wasn't even looking at me to see it, so I just felt like a total idiot.
"No. It's a plea as a friend," I stated bravely. I never really thought of Dani as a friend, but I guess she was as close to a friend, besides Jack, that I had. My response managed to catch her attention. Our gazes met one another, and the snarky look on her face fell. For the first time, I think Daniella actually felt something other than hate for me.
"Okay, kid."
That's how we ended up back at the entrance of the cellars. The guards who I had I brief conversations about taco Tuesdays and how the sun is actually just a star about an hour ago greeted us.
"Back again, Luna?" The one on the right side of the door asked.
"Yea," I grunted as I opened the cellar door. The musty smell of the cellars immediately violated my senses.
"You were already here?" Dani asked as she trailed behind me.
"I don't want to talk about it," I muttered causing Dani to laugh. The door shut behind us with a very loud thud. It made everything seem much more dramatic than it actually was.
I wasn't afraid of the cellars. I didn't even feel the slightest bit of discomfort in them. Maybe a few years ago I would have, but they just seem like another room to me. What made me uncomfortable were some of the people inside of the cells. One guy was missing an arm. Tell me that is not just strange.
"This way, idiot," Dani piped from behind me as I was about to ask what happened to the dude's arm. I turned to find her, but the only thing left in the hall was the echo of her voice that trailed away down another hall. "Come on."
"You might wanna get that looked at," I noted to the guy missing his arm sitting in the corner of his cell. He growled lowly at me, and I took that as my signal to leave.
"Dan?" I shouted earning me at least seven low growls, two 'shut ups', and one very irritated 'someone rip the bitch's throat out'. The people in here are much more irritable than anyone was in Vindicta.
I rounded a corner to see Daniella kick someone in the head through the openings of the steel bars of their cell door. His body was limp on the ground, and the kick didn't seem to phase him at all.
"Dan, he's dead," I stated. It didn't take a genius to see it.
"Yeah," she mumbled as she took a key out of her pocket and unlocked the cell. She walked in, stood above the man, and in one swift motion stomped her foot down on his head.
"That was the most unnecessary thing I've ever seen," I stated, boredly as she removed her now bloody shoe from the man's now caved in head. He had obviously been rotting away down here for a few days. The stench was a clear indicator of that. The smell was only getting worse now that the man's head had a size seven hole in it.
"Just making sure."
"Fair enough," I shrugged and continued following her to another wing of the cellars. This part was different. It was quieter. It was calmer. It made every hair on my body stand on end. "What is this?" I asked running my hand across the now white walls which were a big change from the cracking grey ones.
"Um," she hummed seeming to try to think of the best way to put what she was thinking, "we like to call it time-out."
"Oh." I wasn't sure if I should press the question more or not. Dani is pretty straight forward with me, so I figured if she was holding back then I should probably just drop it.
We made it to a large door that almost looked like the entrance to a walk in freezer. The thought crossed my mind that maybe they froze him. It wasn't too far-fetched for Matteo. I'd heard about this pack doing worse. As Daniella quickly typed something into a keypad to unlock the door, she turned to look at me.
"Take a breath, Kaia. You look like you're gonna pass out," she advised making me aware of my body. I felt cold which I figured was just from being underground, but I was sweating like a whore in church. My hands felt clammy, I couldn't stop tapping my foot, and I'm pretty sure my eye was twitching like I was on cocaine.
Honestly, I couldn't pinpoint why I was so terrified of seeing my dad. I knew there was no way he could physically get to me. Even before, I knew there was no way. He was chained inside of a cell, and he most likely still is. He couldn't touch me, or hit me, or slap me, or come in any physical contact with me. Maybe spit on me if he had really good aim, but he couldn't do anything to physically cause me any harm. I had the advantage, yet I still felt like we were on an uneven playing field with him having the upper-hand.
There is absolutely no reasonable way for me to describe it.
"You want me to come in with you?" Daniella asked which managed to pull me from my thoughts. She had the door unlocked, she just had to open it.
"No," I replied quickly as I grabbed the handle, "just stay out here, and get me out if things sound bad."
"How bad?" She asked as my thumbs subconsciously drew circles on the door handle.
"You'll know." With that, I entered the room. I expected to see some cells or even another door, but instead I was trapped inside of a bright white room with my father. He was sitting on a chair in the center of the room silently. He wasn't chained to anything. He was just sitting on the chair which happened to be as white as the walls that surrounded him. We were making direct eye contact, so I knew he knew I was there. He was just choosing to not speak to me.
"Dad," I said quietly. I hate how much it sounded like I was afraid. He didn't seem at all phased. His icy blue eyes were just as cold and frozen as the rest of his demeanor. "Can we just talk about this?" I watched as his jaw suddenly clenched making me take a step back to the point where my back was against the door.
"Talk about what, Kaia? Your disgusting excuse of a brother who abandoned his family just to join another? Or you deciding that it would be a grand idea to do the same thing? Maybe we could start with the mark on your neck from the Alpha wolf who put me here in the first place? You want to take your pick, or should I?" He seethed. My stomach was doing cartwheels, and I couldn't hold eye contact with him any longer. I dropped my gaze to the floor as my chest began to feel as though someone had made me swallow a lit match.
"I never told you to be this way," I whispered. A part of me wanted him to hear it, and another part of me was praying that he didn't.
"What was that?" He questioned. I didn't respond. I kept my gaze glued to the floor. "Kaia, so help you God if I have to ask you one more time." Nothing. I refused to open my mouth. I refused to move my body in any way. At this point, I was debating on whether I should breathe or not.
I suddenly heard the soft scrape of the chair on the floor followed by footsteps that were coming closer to me. The shadow of my father crept its way over me making me feel even colder than I already had been. The only thing in my line of sight were the shoes on his feet. It was completely silent. In a matter of seconds, his hand grasped the back of my hair, and yanked it down so that I was looking directly at him. My jaw was shaking so badly I could have busted a tooth. I was trying to look at anything but his eyes, but I was too terrified to remove my gaze.
"What did you say?" His words stung like venom. All the blood in my veins ran cold, and I was fearful that I was going to have a heart attack by how fast my heart was racing.
I didn't know what to say, so I did the one thing that seemed perfect for me to do in that moment.
I spit right in his face.
My father took a step back because of my action. Then after a second or two, it sunk in what I had done. I immediately regretted using my saliva as weaponry against my father. I didn't have time to respond before the palm of my father's hand made contact with my left cheek. The force knocked me backward into the door and the back of my head made contact with it. Pain surged through my head and cheek, and my ears were ringing like little alarms telling me to get the hell out.
I never made a sound, though. I never moved my hands to my face. I never cried. I just clenched my teeth, rolled my shoulders back, and stared down at the floor.
"Do you want to tell me what you said, now?"
"I'm going to leave now," I whispered causing him to scoff.
"Good. Get out of here. You can come back when you stop acting like a child," he stated coldly. I nodded, turned around, and left the room.
"Well that was—what the f—k happened to your face?" Dani asked as she grabbed my face to examine it. No doubt, there was a large red mark from where my father's palm collided with my cheek. "Matteo is going to kill me," she whispered to herself as she continued looking at my cheek.
"Stop," I snapped as I pushed her off of me. "Let's go."
"Did he tell you?" She asked making me raise an eyebrow.
"Tell me what?"
"I'm not stupid, Kaia. I'm also the Gamma, so Matteo informs me of most things when they are pack related or for your safety," she stated, crossing her arms over her chest. "So did he tell you where your mother is from?"
"Can we just not talk about it." It was supposed to be a question, but it definitely came out as more of a demand.
"You didn't even ask him. Did you?" I clenched my jaw and fists simultaneously. I was too much of a bitch to swing at my dad, but Daniella was another story.
"Dani, drop it," I demanded, but I knew she wouldn't.
"Kaia, you can't do this again."
"Watch me," I fired back. I turned angrily to stomp away from her like the five year old that I felt like in that moment, but her small hand grasped my wrist.
"Let's just pretend for a second that he's just a guy in there. That's he's not your father," she said causing my brows to knit together in confusion.
"But he is?"
"Do you really want to call someone like that your father?" She accused. I stayed silent. Well, no. "He's just a guy, Kaia. Just some guy. He doesn't have to mean shit to you if you don't want him to."
"It's easier said than done, Dani," I muttered, staring back down at the cold, concrete floors.
"Listen," Daniella sighed taking a step toward me, "I know how it feels to have a parent think you aren't good enough—to have a lot of people think you aren't good enough. A parent especially, though. I'm a girl doing what everyone believes is a man's job. And when I find my mate, he will take over the title that I've worked so hard for, and I'll be pushed back to an 'equal ranking', but we all know that that's not the case," she explained, using finger quotations around 'equal ranking'. It wasn't a secret that females had less power. They are involved in less. Their opinions aren't heard of as much. They are supposed to be equal, but they aren't. "I was told my entire life that it's how it had to be because I would never be good enough. I'd never be strong enough. We're strong enough. We're good enough. You're good enough, Kaia. You just have to realize who's opinions about you matter and who's don't. And, I'll give you a hint. If their name doesn't start with Kaia and end with Aalish, then f—k them."
I was silent. I was thinking, hard. She made a good point. She made a really good point, but I couldn't help but feel weirded out that Daniella was being so nice to me. It was really clouding my thoughts.
"I promise as your Luna, I'm going to make sure you don't lose what you've worked so hard for," I stated with certainty and a small smile. She gave me a small smile in return and released my hand. I made my way back to the door.
"He's just a man, Kaia," Daniella reminded me as I placed my hand on the door handle.
"Just some guy."
It was strange to think that the room felt different. I walked in and found him right back to where he was before, sitting silently on his chair in the middle of the room.
Just some guy.
"We need to talk," I said lowly. My voice was strong, but serious. I was doing my absolute best to be as brave as possible. My hands were practically drenched in sweat from my nerves, but it was fine.
"Alright. Well, you—"
"No," I snapped angrily, "you can shut the f—k up for once, and let me speak. You are in my territory." I could see the anger erupt in his eyes.
Just some guy.
"Do you want to say that, again?" Words that used to feel like they could strangle me, now felt a little like a kick to the gut. Instead of scaring me though, they made me angry.
"You can shut the f—k up," I repeated myself slowly as I stalked toward him.
"Kaia, why do you have to be like this? Your brother—"
"F—k. You. F—k you. I am not my brother. I am not my mother, and I am not you." In a matter of seconds, he was in front of me with his hand raised. For a split second, fear rose within me. I felt the small urge to back into a corner with my head down and beg him for forgiveness. But in that moment, I heard it. I don't know if it was my conscience or if Daniella was chanting it like her life depended on it from the other side of the door, but I heard it.
Just some guy.
As quickly as he brought his hand up, I brought my fist back and launched it dead center into his face. Based on the sound that was made, I either broke my hand or broke his nose. He fell backward into a heap on the floor. After seeing the blood spilling from his face, I knew I'd managed to break his nose. A sadistic smile made its way to my face.
"You want to try that again?" I taunted, getting into his face. I stepped back and walked around him as if I was a predator, and he was my prey. "I threw the Alpha of Caedes through a table because I was mad at Kaden. I'm sure you can only imagine what I could do to you since the anger I have toward you runs so much deeper."
"Kaia, you're better than this," he groaned as he tried wiping away the gushing blood from his nose. I laughed in a way that would almost seem evil.
"No, I'm not," I chided, enjoying the newly found power I had. I never felt like this before. It was exciting, "but thanks for thinking so highly of me." I could see the fear in Parker's eyes. It was obvious to me no matter how well he disguised it. "Where is mom from?" I quickly cut to the chase. He sat up slowly, watching me closely.
"You want to know where your mother is from? That's why I'm here?"
"No, you're still here because my mate knows that if he killed you, I would have been very upset with him," I responded simply. "But if you don't tell me where mom is from, I might kill you myself." The room fell silent. Our gazes never left one another. As if it were straight from a horror film, Parker's blank facial expression slowly turned upward into a smile.
"Oh, Kaia," he chuckled, "That was good. It really was. You really had me going there for a second. Now, come on. Let's get me out of here." His words were calm and had warmth to them. My brain did not know how to comprehend what was happening.
"I—I was being serious," I stated trying my hardest to keep my voice strong. My father's voice drowned it out, though.
"You really gave it all away when you said you'd actually kill me. That's funny. I only do this to make you better. You know that," he smiled. The entire strong facade I had immediately fell. I know he just wants me to be strong. He wants me to be able to handle myself.
"Um, yeah," I said quietly. "I know." I turned slowly and began making my way to the door. My chest felt heavy, again. My throat was scratchy, and all that I wanted to do was scream out in an emotional pain. My father's laughter was the only thing reaching my ears in that moment. I placed my hand on the door handle and drew small circles on it with my thumb. I raised my eyes to the door and bit lightly on my lip.
"Matteo never hits me," I stated quietly causing his laughter to die down.
"What was that, sweetie?" He asked with a slight chuckle.
"Matteo never hits me. Actually, he never does anything to hurt me. Well, not on purpose," I pointed out. Feeling confidence in myself, I let my hand fall from the handle of the door and turned to face my father who was now standing. "And, he never makes me feel dumb, and he's had so many opportunities. You know I still can't read? Write? Do math? Things you said I would never need to know how to do."
"Kaia—"
"Matteo is teaching me. I can spell my name, his name, Jack's, Daniella's, mom's. I still can't spell a lot, but he's teaching me. And somehow, he manages to do it without making me feel stupid or comparing me to everyone else." My voice was quiet, but I felt strength in my tone. I wasn't trying to act brave. I was trying to get my point across. "He cares about me. He cares about what's best for me, and he does it without making me feel like less of a person than I actually am."
"I just want to see you strong," my dad concluded, speaking just as quietly as me.
"You've already lost your son. Mom is no where to be found, so I'm going to take a wild guess that you've lost her, too. I already have someone that I love, so I wouldn't take losing you nearly as hard as you think. Without me, you'll have no one—nothing. Don't try to lose me, too." We both settled into silence. I wanted to continue, but didn't have the slightest idea of what to say. There was too much. There were too many things I was feeling, and I didn't know enough words to properly express them.
Deciding it was best to just leave, I turned toward the door. I raised my hand to the handle when he finally did the most fatherly thing that he'd ever done for me.
"Apsens," he admitted, "she was from Apsens."
With that, I left my father in the cellar without a single word or even glance in his direction.
______________
Well we love seeing some character development don't we
Yea this is definitely the longest chapter I've ever written. It's my apology for being gone for so long. Sadly Matteo wasn't a part of it, but we got to see a weird new side of Daniella.
6/20/18