It was Ben.
But how? But what? But... what the hell was going on?
I froze. My heart felt like it stopped beating and I was going into full-blown organ failure. My eyes scanned the surroundings, looking for an exit strategy, or a place to hide before he saw me. But when I turned, Miss Milky Way had also started walking in my direction.
I turned and looked back in Ben's direction and when I did, he saw me. The moment that passed between us was more intense than anything that we'd shared so far. He looked from me to Li-Hau's mom and back, and the look that rushed over his face was one of indescribable panic.
Li Hau's mother started making a faster approach and suddenly Ben was on the move too, straight towards me. They both descended at the exact same time and my heart stopped.
"Hi, I'm Ben," he said, making a point of sticking out his hand in my direction as Li-Hau's mother came into earshot.
Now my heart really stopped beating.
"I'm Li-Hau's dad," he persisted. "So you're the Snow White I've heard so much about." He smiled at me, widening his eyes. I could see he was desperately trying to communicate with me. The message was clear.
Play along.
What the hell was I in the middle of?
"I.. I...," I stuttered.
Ben jumped in, talking to Li-Hau's mom now. "So Snow White is real after all." He smiled at her and then turned back to me. "Sorry, I didn't get your name?" He looked freaked out, but was trying to hide it—and not that well.
"S..Sera," I stuttered.
"Nice to meet you. This is Mei, my daughter's mother."
He emphasized the word daughter as if I hadn't caught on yet.
"I told you, Daddy. She's real," Li-Hau said again.
"Yes you did." He reached down and put his arm around her.
This was Superdad?
I couldn't speak, I could barely breathe. Ben had just pulled me into one of the biggest lies I'd ever been privy too. Clearly he was still with her mother. That was surely the only possible explanation for his behavior and this level of deception. He'd had an affair with me and now he was desperately trying to cover his tracks and I was unknowingly caught up in all of it.
"Well thanks for coming," he said to me. "Li hasn't stopped talking about you."
He said it like that was some kind of consolation prize. Like that should make me happy in some way.
"So, Sera?" her mother spoke again. "How long have you lived at Killarney Gardens?" She was looking directly at me and I was unraveling under her gaze.
"About two years."
"Ben just moved in there," she said, turning to look at Ben.
He nodded. "Yes. It's a nice place."
This was the worst, most awkward conversation of my entire life. I was dying more with every question and every lie uttered for an answer. "It is," I said. "Nice gardens"—I was making this shit up as I went along.
"Yes, that's where you met Li," Ben said.
Mei shot Ben a filthy look. "You let her go to the garden by herself?" She stared daggers at Ben and he looked like his world was about to explode, shatter and collapse into a black hole.
And then Li quickly piped up, "Lerato was right there with me!"
I stared at the little girl in shock. She sounded totally desperate. Something was obviously wrong. Li looked up at me for confirmation and my heart tugged when I looked into her pleading eyes.
I nodded, "Yes, I met Lerato there too." It wasn't a total lie. But I hadn't met her then. And she had not been 'right there'.
Her mother looked satisfied and I noted that Ben's shoulders sagged in relief. I'd clearly stepped into the middle of a hornet's nest, and if I didn't tread carefully, I was going to end up being stung.
"So, Sera." Mei turned her attention back to me and I wasn't sure I liked the way she was looking at me. It seemed to make Ben nervous as well.
"What do you do?"
Ben flashed me a desperate look, and again, I knew what he wanted from me—I was never going to forgive him for this.
"I'm a waitress," Again, at least it wasn't a blatant lie. She looked at me like I'd just told her I cleaned toilets for a living. I didn't like this woman at all.
"And you?" I asked, pretending I gave a shit.
"I'm a model."
I nodded. Of course she was a fucking model. Of course Ben would have had a child with the world's hottest female.
"And you?" I turned to Ben, playing the role that had been forced upon me without my consent.
"Advertising," he said quickly.
"How exciting!"
"Ben," Mei spoke again, her voice was stern and demanding. She was definitely beautiful, but there was something so ugly about her. "I really think you should speak to some of the other parents now."
I glanced at Ben. He looked startled again. "Of course. Good idea." He moved away quickly as if she'd just cracked some kind of a magic invisible whip. He didn't look back and walked away as fast as he could.
"I want to show you what my dad got me for my birthday," Li said, taking me by the hand and pulling me in the opposite direction. The last thing I wanted to do right now was look at Superdad's gift. To be honest, I never wanted to be reminded of Ben again.
The next hour was up there with one of the worst of my life. I would've rather been at my gynecologist's office having an annual exam while simultaneously getting a root canal without anesthetic. Li was dragging me around, introducing me to her friends, showing me the ponies and making me get my face painted like a butterfly. Looking at her, I felt two things, pity and anger. Clearly he wasn't father of the year after all.
I counted the painful seconds until I could politely excuse myself. I didn't want to disappoint Li, but my skin was crawling, I felt physically nauseous and my brain was about to explode.
Was Ben really with that woman? Was she his Saturday night secret? Maybe they were separated and were trying to work it out? But Ben looked whipped; he was jumping at her commands like a performing monkey—sign of a guilty conscience?
Eventually I was able to leave. I said the requisite goodbyes to Li and her mother, who seemed to have warmed up to me slightly. I didn't say goodbye to Ben. He hadn't looked in my direction once the entire time I was there. In fact, he'd done everything possible to stay as far away as he could.
When I was finally out of sight of the party, I ran. I ran as fast as my still shaky legs would carry me, but when I got into the street, I found Ben waiting for me. He was sitting on the ground, his hands looked like they were shaking as he was trying to light a cigarette.
When he saw me, he jumped up. "Sera. It's not what it looks like. I can explain, I promise. I can explain."
I didn't make eye contact and physically pushed him out the way with all the force I could muster. "I don't want to hear it. Just leave me alone."
"But I can't leave you alone." His voice sounded desperate and he grabbed my arm. "It's not what you think."
I finally willed myself to look up at him. I was fuming, "Don't ever talk to me again. Don't ever come near me again." I pulled away forcefully. "And don't you dare touch me again."
"Wait." He moved in front of me. "Please."
"Ben..." I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. For him to get the message once and for all, I was going to have to deliver it in a way that made my intentions clear beyond a reasonable doubt.
"Piss the hell off."
His mouth dropped open and he looked at me with the kind of shock that I was hoping for.
It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stomped on by Mei's ten-inch heel.
He dropped his head and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm really sorry. I fucked up big time."
"Save your apologies for someone who cares." I turned and walked away from him. The second I got into my car I put my head down on the steering wheel. My whole body was shaking from the shock and adrenalin surging through me.
I closed my eyes and the tears just came, smearing the pink face paint everywhere.