Thursday
9:45 p.m.
☆
I relaxed into the sand as I ignored the hazy sensation in my head, it slowly taking over as I watched the sunset completely fade into the ocean line and the moon rise.
And as I sat there, in the comfort of the bonfire heat and the summer air........
All I could do was hate myself for having neglecting all of my self control without even a second thought.
I had stopped counting after beer #2 and let intoxication grab ahold of me, like any stupid teenager would.
Especially the ones hiding deep in the fucking closet, with a deadly crush on the brown eyed "boy next door."
"Stupid son of a bitch," I cursed at myself.
"Come again, golden boy?" came that smooth, caramel voice, making me practically jump off the sand, a blush flooding my cheeks and my eyes wide open.
Did I SERIOUSLY just say that out loud?
Holy shit.
"Uh, n-nothing! I was um, you know...." I could barely stutter out as Yuri looked at me with a coke can in his hand, confused.
"Caught up in self hatred again?" he said, a buzzed smirk on his face.
"You know me Katsuki. You know me," and my voice naturally drifted off, my eyes awkwardly shuffling from person to person as I avoided eye contact with only him, sitting back down in the sand.
"I shall join you, down your path of insecurity and detestation," he said calmly as I scooted over in the sand, getting nervous as he sat a little too close to me for comfort.
Here we go.
"I wouldn't go that far. Just a little upset that a certain someone dragged me to the beach and did not help in dragging me away from the ever present alcohol."
"Sounds like a you problem Vic," and he nudged me with his shoulder, my eyes finally looking up at him as I came face to face with that smile.
"Oh touché," nudging him back as the beer in my hand splashed onto my light denim jeans.
And it left my hand faster than it had gone to my lips.
"On that note, I'll take this off your hands," Yuri said cheekily as he took the bottle and threw it onto the sand. "Troublemaker."
"Oh, so now you're the liquor police."
"Looks like I'll finally get to drive that pretty Jeep of yours drunky," he muttered as he lit cigarettes for me and him, and I sat patiently.....
Scared to death at the thought of a firecracker like Yuri Katsuki sitting behind the wheel.
"Oh, you can just keep on dreaming. Summer will be the one driving us home," I said as I looked him in the eyes, my eyebrow raised in a "never gonna happen" kind of attitude. "Troublemaker."
He just laughed in my face, still not giving me my cigarette as he smoked on his like a jock.
"I wouldn't bet on Summer wanting to go home with us," and he pointed out towards the bonfire as my eyes followed.....
Finding that Summer was a blushing mess as she stood in front of Blane Withers, the head lifeguard at the neighborhood pool.
Both of them casting each other flirty glances and wistful touches as they slowly worked away at a couple of beers.
I could hear Summer's adolescent, love struck laugh as she practically fell into the trap that was Blane, the heartthrob of the west coast.
And there was no way in hell I was gonna get her out of that trap anytime soon.
Fuck.
However, I couldn't blame her, not even in the slightest.
Blane Withers was every girl's dream.
Hell, he had been mine for as long as I can remember, Summer and I riding our bikes down to the pool every year just to get a glimpse of him in all of his tan, blue-eyed, bad boy glory.
But I was sitting next to my new dream.
And I was more of a sucker for brown eyes.
Obviously.
"Blane Withers huh?" I asked Yuri as he smiled at me, both of us staring at them curiously. "That's who she's gonna recover with?"
"She won't even know what heartbreak is after a night with a guy like that," he said as I laughed, watching him as he downed his coke. "She's lucky I worked with him and had the decency to introduce them to each other. Eric and Alice can have their cake and eat it too."
"Look at you being all sweet and stuff," and I leaned my hands on my knees, my head resting in them as I looked up at him, smitten as can be.
"Believe it or not, I have empathy. I'm no sociopath." He looked out onto the ocean and ran his fingers through his hair, looking distant as I kept my eyes on him and only him this time. "Besides, I know a thing or two about heartbreak, and that shit is intoxicating.
And not in the good way."
I saw pain flare across his features as he looked at me, and I was somehow brave enough not to look away in embarrassment at being caught by him.
Part of me wanted to ask what exactly had broken his heart, and who could have possibly ever had the fucking nerve to even want to break someone as beautiful as him.
But sometimes people find less pain in keeping it inside, not letting it surface so they don't have to feel it all over again.
And I wouldn't want someone like him to feel pain twice.
"What about you?" I jerked my head up as I came back down, Yuri waiting patiently for me to answer as I tried to stop living up inside my head.
"What about me?"
"You ever had your heart broken?" He looked at me seriously, and talked to me in a tone that wouldn't lead to a joke or a sarcastic comment. "Of course, I doubt it. You seem invincible Victor Nikiforov."
He said invincible as if he longed for such a quality, a quality that he thought I had in vain.
He took another inhale and smoke left his lips, the vision of him like that making it seem as if he was an angel, an angel with a nicotine addiction.
God, he doesn't even know how perfect he is.
Why?
How does he not know?
"Yuri, I'm not invincible. No one is." I watched as the burning end of the cigarette that lit up his face grew more and more vibrant as the sky got darker....
The voices surrounding us being swallowed up by the waves as we sat there, perfectly content and in the moment.
"Yeah, but you're not just anyone," he said sincerely and I stared down at the sand to hide the blush that he had finally gotten out of me, despite my effort to suppress it.
We both sat there silently as I felt his eyes on me, the feeling comforting but also unsettling as I buried my feet in the sand, taking one more deep breath....
And then letting it go.
"My mom left when I was 3.
She packed up all her stuff and left one night when my dad was out of town.
I didn't hear anything, but I remember waking up that morning and watching my dad run in through the front door, looking around the house with tears in his eyes and screaming.
I didn't know what to do, and I didn't really know what was happening.
But that's probably what she wanted.
She didn't want me to understand so it would hurt less when she left.
She just didn't stop and think about how it would have affected me in the long run.
So yeah, I've been heartbroken.
I still am.
And I think it's the worst kind of heartbreak because I don't understand what I did or what she wanted.
I don't understand why she left.
I don't think I ever will."
I didn't look over at Yuri for pity or comfort, or even look out at the horizon between the sun and the ocean, longing for the answers to my problem.
I just sat there and looked down at the sand, almost numb.
And I knew why.
But Yuri still managed to come into view as I broke out of my coma to him scooting in front of me, the most gentle smile lighting up his face as he leaned his hands on my knees.
I don't know why, but it was almost like I hadn't even meant to tell him that story, and that it left my lips effortlessly.
Maybe it had been waiting to leave my lips for a long time.
But I wasn't mad.
I felt safe with Yuri.
I always had.
"I'm sorry, I don't know why I told you that," I said anxiously as I waved my hands, laughing off the awkwardness of the situation as he just sat in front of me silently. "Well, I mean I do know why, I-I just um, you know I....."
"Hey, it's okay. You don't need to explain yourself," and his voice sounded just as sweet as his smile did. "I'm........I'm glad you told me."
To my surprise, he was now the one blushing.
"You are?"
"Yeah.
It means you trust me."
It was now my turn to smile as I fell into what I could only describe as the best feeling in the world.
Happiness.
But I felt so much more than just trust for him.
And that's what scared me.
Because the only thing more powerful than trust was love.
And looking at him right now, on the beach and under the stars, the whole world around us disappearing slowly but surely....
I knew I was only getting one step closer to falling in love.
And falling apart.
"I hope you know that it's not your fault Victor," Yuri said gently as he handed me his cigarette, that gesture waking up the butterflies in my stomach. "That your mom left."
"I don't really know anything, if I'm being honest. And I hate myself for not being able to figure it out." I took a small puff and let the nicotine warm up my throat, as I nervously fidgeted with the worn out collar of my jacket.
"There's nothing to figure out.
Your mother just couldn't see what she was giving up.
And she gave up the best fucking thing.
It was her mistake for not seeing how amazing you were and are."
"Yuri, do you.....
Do you really mean that?"
"I mean everything I say Nikiforov."
And I don't know if it was the alcohol or the intoxicating way he looked at me with the moonlight shining against his glistening, unflawed skin that made me do this.....
But without even a second to doubt myself or let the voices in my head control me like a puppet.....
I leaned forward slowly and could only think about how it would feel to finally kiss the one person that makes me feel like I'm floating.
How it would feel to let him know that I not only trusted him, but wanted him more than I've wanted anything else in my god damn life.
And I was so close.
He was so close.
I could feel my heart beating out of my chest as I felt him lean in even closer, the gap between us nonexistent......
But it was just too good to be true.
And I was too stupid to think that I deserved someone like him.
"Yuri, you're a lifesaver," I heard a deep voice say as I looked up to see Summer and Blane stumbling over to us, laughing and smiling obnoxiously.
Both Yuri and I scooted a million miles apart as I lost the moment I had finally taken advantage of.
We just sat there in the sand, flustered as hell as I tried to not let disappointment shine across my face.
But god, did I want that moment back.
"Thanks for introducing me to Thompson. I was starting to give up my search for the prettiest girl on the west coast," Blane said as he gave Summer a magazine smile, his perfection almost making me want to projectile vomit.
Then again, that could just be the alcohol.
"Oh uh, n-no problem Blane! She's a doll," Yuri said, still seeming like he was up in space as he glanced at me, his hand nervously on the back of his flushed neck.
God, did I go too far this time?
"Hey Vic, me and Blane are gonna split and go to my house. You gonna be okay?" I heard Summer say to me as she looked down at me lovingly, Blane slowly walking up the beach to start his car.
Deep down, I wasn't okay.
But she looked more than okay in Blane Wither's arms.
And I wasn't gonna take that away from her.
"I'm fine love. Go have fun, and use protection," I said cheekily as she hit me with her purse, Yuri watching us with a smile on his face. "The Lord sees everything."
"Oh shut it drama queen. The Lord knows that I deserve whatever I'm about to get out of the hot lifeguard."
"Yes you will."
And with that, she stumbled after Blane with no sign of heartbreak anywhere to be found.
But I knew better than to think a boy like Blane was enough to heal her.
No one was enough for her.
Eric had made that pretty fucking clear.
"Hey, Vic?" Yuri asked suddenly as I watched him get up slowly, wiping the sand off of his jacket smoothly.
"Yeah?"
"You wanna get out of here?"
"You read my mind."
He grabbed my hand and helped me up slowly, trying to hide his strained expression as he struggled to lift me up.
But I was an ex-football quarterback so I gave him the benefit of the doubt and knew better than to question his strength.
We walked side by side in a comfortable silence up the beach as I watched his converse sift through the sand, a child-like excitement in his step.
Both of us snickered under our breath as our shoulders bumped into one another, nudging each other out of balance.
Finally, we made it to the parking lot and I was distracted by the scenic view of the ocean from up top, a new perspective being just as interesting as the one I had been given......
Which was something that Yuri took advantage of as he reached into my back pocket and grabbed my keys, his shoes scraping against the pavement as he ran towards my Jeep, escaping me.
Shit, shit, shit.
"Yuri, I swear to fucking god! You're not driving my Jeep!"
"Oh yes I am!"
"I'm not kidding!"
I ran across the hood to get to the drivers seat as I watched him slide into it, a smile of absolute satisfaction in his face as he put the seat belt on.
"God, you're a piece of work Katsuki," I said as I leaned my hands on the door and tried to catch my breath, not missing the smirk he threw at me as he turned the key in the ignition.
"And you are just no fun Nikiforov."
"Get in the passenger seat. Now."
"Awe come on. Just this once?" and he threw me that pretty boy pout of his, the sight making me weak and putting me under his god damn spell.
"No."
"Please?"
"I said no."
"I'll buy you milkshakes for the rest of the week and I'll give you all my beach boy records."
I knew what was coming, and I knew it included me being the loser.
So the only to do was except my defeat with dignity and a small bargain.
"I want two weeks of milkshakes," I said with pride as I folded my arms, my jacket creasing. "And I already have all of the beach boy records, you uncultured swine."
"Fine, two weeks dickhead."
"That's the thanks I get?"
"Ugh, just get in the passengers seat," and he shoved me back playfully as I stumbled over my feet in laughter, Yuri shutting the door in my face.
And I listened to him, my body sliding into the leather as I sighed out in defeat.
"Now buckle up, golden boy," were the last words I heard before he turned onto the highway and blasted the stereo for all of California to hear.
Here we go.
☆
Hi dolls!
I know this chapter is a little shorter than they usually are, but I've gotta set it up right for the rest of the story.
And these next 3 chapters are gonna blow your fucking minds.
So get ready!
Don't forget to leave a vote or a comment, you know how much I love hearing from you guys.
Love u to the moon and back ❤️
~audrey