This takes place directly after chapter 46. This is an alternate ending of what would happen after Sarah was taken by King Talon, Esmerelda threw herself in front of the hit to protect Hilda and of course Esmerelda spare Sirus's life. Hope you guys enjoy:)
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It was all a dream?
That is what I thought as I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. I remembered Sirus almost dying...me failing to kill him. The Vampyr King...it was all an awful dream?
Slowly sitting up, pain blossomed within in me. I pushed off the covers and moved my night shift to see that I was wrapped up from an injury. I had a large wound...
It must have been when I jumped in front of Hilda. The pain was mild which I could not understand...being that an arrow basically pierced me. Then again...Hilda and Sirus probably hurried up the healing process.
"Your highness...?"
I looked up to see the wet nurse standing in the corner of my room...with tears in her eyes. Why was she crying? "Is...is everything alright?" I questioned her as she nodded quickly, wiping at her tears.
"Yes...I am sorry..you must want to hold your child, yes?" Before I had the chance to response she was rushing over to me with Thorian in hand. She placed him gently in my arms.
He had his eyes closed...and he snuggled into me as I kissed his forehead. He was large for a baby...then again he was not fully human. Maybe this came from his lycan side?
"Tell me where is my brother? Or little Sarah," I wished to see both of them. Since Hilda had so much strength to stop the Vampire Kings power...she had to have saved little Sarah.
The woman cleared her throat, "The maid child...she is gone. The Vampire King took her...your brother is somewhere here. I-I will go fetch him for you."
She seemed a bit skittish and I wondered if that was just from her fear of Sirus and everyone else in this castle. She made her way over to me, outstretching her arms. "He has just fallen asleep...and you are still recovering," she said tiredly.
Did she think I would wake him? "Oh...you will bring him back to the nursery?"
She nodded her head. "You should kiss him goodbye," she said as I gave her an odd look before kissing his soft head and handing him over.
She cooed him a bit as he began to fuss...most likely missing my warmth. "Thank you...thank you for doing all of this for him. I know you are being forced but...you do not have to care for him like a maid does." She was only supposed to be his food supply yet she cared for him deeply.
"I am sorry my Queen." The wet nurse shook her head, and slightly bowed. Before she disappeared from the room. I coils see her whining to cry again...and wondered what on earth did she have to apologize for?
The next hour or so I spent falling in and out of sleep, waiting for Edwin. Maybe she has gotten overwhelmed with Thorian and forgot? Whatever the reason be...it was time for me to get up.
It took a minute, but I managed to get to my dresser and throw on a thick cloak. Who cares if I had a night gown on under...no one could see and I was the Queen for heavens sake!
As soon as I heard the door open ring, a smile came over me as I thought that it was Edwin. I was disappointed. Incredibly disappointed to see Sirus.
"What is it Sirus?" I questioned tiredly, looking to the guards who were not meeting my gaze. Sirus looked awful. As if he did not sleep nor eat in a few days. His hair seemed to be getting out of control...and I wondered what was going on in his mind for him to look like this.
He was breathing harshly. His chest rising and falling in a quick manner that looked as if he was getting ready to shift. His eyes were a bloody red. I clutched at the sheets, not kmowing what to prepare myself for. "What do you want?!"
His steps were slow...meaningful. As his dead like eyes locked into my my eyes began to water. This was the end for me. He was going to kill me. I could tell from the look in his eyes. I would never be able to see Thorian grow up. Become a man. Never be able to see Edwin become the rightful king of our kingdom.
I would not beg for my life though. I would not beg in front of this man like I have been doing so for the past months...a year. I closed my eyes, holding my head held high as he approached our bed.
I waited for pain. Pain and a harsh impact...I let lose a sob when I felt something soft on my cheek. My eyes flew open and I stared at him in confusion.
It was his hand. His fingers were grazing the tears streaming down my face. "Wh-what are you doing?!" I cried out, pushing his hand away.
He was trembling. His entire massive body trembling with a unknown force driving behind it. "What, what is wrong with you?" He was terrifying me. My chest began to ache as I thought of why he was being...gentle. His hand reached out again and I slapped it away. "Tell me what is happening, dammit!"
Did Edwin hurt himself? Or Thorian. "You," was all he could muster up. His clawed hand raked over his face, drawing a bit of blood. "Why did you save me?" He questioned in confusion. I have never heard him sound like this before. I was not able to answer..because my body was still in shock that I was not being killed right now. "Tell me!"
The fear that I was feeling was slowly dissipating as it was replaced with something else entirely different. "You will not yell at me after I spared your life!" I spat as he just stared at me. His shaking lessening. "I-I do not know why I spared your life Sirus but do not let me regret it. We have a son now and I will not take you yelling at me any longer!"
I watched as he sunk to his knees. My body recoiling as he did so, confused at his actions...yet again. What was going on? I could not handle the many faces of Sirus! "She would have killed me..."
Her. He wanted to talk about her? I took a deep breath, praying to the lord to give me patience and strength. "Sirus look at me...look at me now." He slightly growled at me as I ordered him about, but he slowly turned his head to lock gazes with me.
"I am not that woman, I am not your first wife!" I yelled at him as my body began to shake.
"I am the wife that gave you a child!" My hands trembled so awfully. I wanted to hit him. I wanted to give him a moment of pain...because he made me feel so much more than just a moment.
"I am the wife that saved your life! I am not her, Sirus!" I began to sob as I had to put a hand over my face. My entire being was crumpling.
I was so tired of this. Tired of the back and forth. I had no choice because he would not change. He would not let me leave. He would not change, what could I possibly do to save my sanity?!
"Esmerelda..."
His hand was nearing my body and I slapped it away. "Do not touch me, Sirus!" I cried out, fighting his hand that wanted to grab me physically to try to reach me emotionally. "I do not know what you want!" I whimpered, my nose and eyes both flowing. "You want my submission but you give me nothing in return! I cannot do this anymore Sirus...you will be the death of me."
My body began to curl into a ball, my back facing him. "I just want my son, I want Edwin. I want to feel comfortable and not terrified that you will harm me every second I breathe!"
His hand was placed on my back, I could feel him shaking, while my body shook too. The silence stretched for what seemed like forever, and the more we quietly sat the more my body began to calm down.
"I am sorry, Esmerelda."
A guttural laugh scratched its way out of my throat, my hand going to my face wipe away the excess tears. "Another lie, Sirus. Do not apologize if you do not mean it. That hurts more than anything."
He let out a large sigh, "I am sorry. All I have done to you...I wish I could erase it."
"I wish it too."
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"Thorian, please," I said tiredly as I rocked him in my arms. I was still recovering from my injuries, from pregnancy a bit too. It has been five days since everything has happened and I spend my time with Thorian inside of my room. Feeding him then speaking to him. Eddie also makes his way into my room sometimes. Sirus always the one to bring him here.
He has been acting different and it is terrifying me. He is so unpredictable that it scares me and I reject him holding Thorian in front of me for fear of him potentially hurting my baby.
His little face crinkled, as he became red in the face. Tears slipped down his chunky cheeks and I sighed coping him gently. He was not a happy little baby right now...and I did not know what was wrong with him. He did not soil his clothes, he just left my breast! What more could he want?
"I know you are upset but what is wrong?" I questioned as he continued to wail and cry as I wondered if he was sick of us sitting in here. Did he want to walk around, and have a change of scenery?
The door opened and I sat up a bit, expecting his nurse to come in. It was not his nurse but Sirus and Edwin. Eddie immediately held his hands over his ears cringing at how loud Thorian was. "Esme make him stop!" He whined as Sirus made his way over to my side of the bed.
I clutched the crying baby closer to my chest, trying to calm him down as Sirus stood over us. "Let me hold him Esmerelda." I shook my head as Edwin sighed loudly, watching me unsuccessfully try and stop my son. "Esmerelda."
Thorian became so upset he began to tremble in my arms and I reluctantly handed over my chunky child to his father. I watched closely as Sirus held him with one hand, and began to move around a bit. "Thorian you need to stop crying, nothing is wrong. Your belly is full and you are not wet. Do not fuss unnecessarily," Sirus explained to him as I shook my head. He is a baby, he does not understood all that Sirus was saying!
Within the next few minutes miraculously, Thorian quieted down. His beautiful eyes kept blinking and looking at Sirus as he sat down slowly at the foot of the bed. "How'd you do that?" Edwin frowned as he rushed over to Sirus.
I watched with a laugh stuck in my throat as Edwin struggled to get on the bed. After six attempts he managed to pull his body up and crawl over to me giving me a kiss to the cheek before climbing over to Sirus. "Hey Esme he has a big head like you."
"Eddie do not insult your nephew!" I chastised him as he shrugged, my eyes going to Thorian. He did have a big head...but what baby does not?! He would grow into it. He was a fairly large baby anyway to begin with. I cannot believe I pushed all of that out of me..
Once Thorian had calmed down Edwin began to fall asleep and I began to doze off. Sirus was watching us as we did so, and his eyes woke me up from my pending sleep. "You should put him in his basket," I told him as Sirus still held onto our child. He was staring down at him oddly and it was making me nervous. "He is sleep. You can put him in his basket. You do not want have to-"
"-I just want to hold him," he growled out as Edwin mimicked his growl. I waited patiently, digging my nails into the palm of my hand. I did not want him touching Thorian so much. I did not want him to get accustomed to being so close to our son. He would be nothing like Sirus. I would make sure of it...
After Edwin and I speaking about our day and Sirus silently holding a sleeping Thorian, Edwin decided to make himself comfortable in the bed. He was adorable when he was not insulting my baby and I found myself fluffing the blanket and then laying it over him.
I could feel Sirus's gaze on me and I snapped my head up to look at him. He was glaring at Eddie. "He has his own bed."
"He wants to sleep with me...us," I said through clenched teeth. He was still very much a child and he needed to be comforted. He often talked of Sarah and how lonely he was and now I had to help to take up that space that Sarah filled..
Sirus stood and placed Thorian in his little carriage before looking back at Edwin and I. "This is the last and only time I will allow this, Esmerelda." That was a mild surprise...I was expecting an argument but he gave me none. This will not be the last time Edwin sleeps in the bed though...
Since the day we had our falling out he has been more kind. I know it will end soon and I am just waiting til that day.
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Hope you guys enjoyed!!