my friends hoseok and namjoon have dragged me out of the house and to the club. the lights are flashing around me. i took so many drugs before we left, i think they're starting to really hit me. i can feel the sweat drip off the cup of alcohol and slide onto my fingers. i can hear every note, from the prominent ones to the underlying harmonies, of every song being played. i can feel the heartbeat of the people crowding around me. i'm dizzy. my heart starts racing and i can feel the adrenaline hormones seeping into my bloodstream.
i set my cup down and start making my way into the crowd of dancing people. namjoon and hoseok see me and start cheering, pulling me into their little circle. there's five girls dancing on them. one attaches herself to me. she's not even my type, but i place my hands on her hips, letting her lead me in a sway. namjoon winks at me. hoseok sends me a smile. i can feel the sweat dripping down my back now and the strobe lights are blinding me. i move away from the girl, going to get another glass of alcohol.
"imma fuck up my life." i whisper to myself. "she never gave a single fuck about me. we ain't ever going to be together." i reach the bar and order something. i barely even know if the words escape my lips. i down the glass when the bartender hands it to me then i turn and rejoin my friends on the dancefloor. the girl comes over to me again, feeling me up and i just let her. i don't care anymore.
i'm gonna fuck up my life.
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