I think the hardest part out of all of this, was trying to explain to my girlfriend what had happened. It was literally impossible. I couldn't even admit to myself what had happened, how could I tell the person I loved, the person I had felt like I had cheated. The one I ruined. It was hard. I blamed her. I blamed her mom, because she wouldn't let us be together. I blamed everyone I could, other than me. Other than him. Other than what happened. And it hurt. It still hurts. I still hurt. I hope she doesn't though.
Next came trying to explain it to my mom and family. They ridiculed me. Made me feel worthless, which I had already done to myself. Swore I wouldn't even be with the babies father for a year. (They we're right, BUT they're the reason I did everything to be with him. I didn't want to be a statistic I didn't want to be labeled I didn't want to have vets held over my head because I couldn't explain to them why I was pregnant how it had happened or why I was dumb enough to go through with the things I did.)
So I stayed.