chapter 17 Close But Not Quite
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dear soulmate,
his hug was very warm. despite his cold body belonging to that of an actual vampire, i still found his embrace very comforting. my heart belongs to him already.
please hurry up and take it away from him. take it away before it gets broken to pieces. take it away before i get hurt.
please.
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The rain had stopped falling from the sky which quieted the cold night away. In the park were two figures sitting on a wet bench. Both didn't mind for their clothes were already drenched.
After the exchange they had in the streets, Laito dragged the girl to a park where they can sit and contemplate about what had occurred.
The two sat far away from each other— as much as the bench can. They were engulfed in silence, the girl not having the willpower to look at the redhead beside her while the other kept staring at her visage, hoping that his stare would be reciprocated.
The girl looked down at her hands that were resting on her lap, biting her lower lip. The silence was deadly and it was slowly killing her nerves.
What she said at the spur of the moment revealed almost all her feelings towards him. Only a dumb person would not get the implication behind her words. She likes him so much. That's pretty much the message she wanted to convey with her monologue while back.
It might sound like a harmless confession. However, confessing to a casanova is like signing a contract with the devil himself. He can now manipulate her the way he wants since he already caught her heart. She literally guided him to her destruction. It was the most stupid move that she had ever done her whole life.
Should she attempt to run away again?
"...Does the wound hurt?" the vampire finally asked, referring to the bites he had taken from her. It broke the inner turmoil the girl was experiencing, bringing her to their present situation.
"No." she mumbled as a reply, scooting away from him.
"... I'm really sorry."
"... No."
"No?"
"I don't need your apology." she coldly said.
"Oh."
Silence.
"Will you look at me?"
"... No—" she was cut off once her chin was gently turned towards the direction of the guy she didn't want to look at.
Green orbs stared at hers as if he was studying her expression. "Are you mad at me?"
"No sh*t, Sherlock," she answered in a defiant manner, slapping his hand away but keeping their eye contact. "If we're done wasting time, let's go back to the mansion."
"Before we go back," he said, expression sullen, "What is the meaning of what you told me awhile ago...?"
And here comes that question. The girl ground her teeth together, tensing as she tried to escape the trap she had set up for herself.
With an internal sigh, she raised an eyebrow at the male. "What am I, free charity? Go figure it out yourself."
It wasn't the soundest comeback but it worked like a charm. Laito frowned at her response but changed their topic as she hoped.
"Listen..." he trailed off. "I'm really sorry. It was definitely not my intention to get angry—"
"Sure. Can we go now?" she cut him off.
"No." he snapped back. "Not as long as I finish what I have to say."
The girl opened her mouth to retort but he merely placed a finger on her lips. He then gave her a cheeky smile. "First of all, I know that you don't find me repulsive for my inhumane actions. I'm sorry for accusing you."
She pursed her lips, accepting the apology with a hum.
"And secondly, I want you to know that we did have sacrificial brides before you and I have no doubt that we will have more in the future..." he paused.
And here was the moment she dreaded the most. The sweet words he would utter after would definitely melt her heart and coax her into doing whatever he wants. She knew Laito so much and she knows that he knows how to make her be his b*tch.
"... But remember what you said in the carnival?" he continued after a short while. "You told me that you're not the real sacrificial bride. I didn't listen to you then."
Wait, what?
"But now, I get it; you don't really want to be a sacrificial bride. I'm sorry since it took me too long to realize. What you said a while ago made me finally know the meaning of those words." he took a breath and gave one genuine smile. "I won't force you to be my sacrificial bride anymore. This also means that I won't drink your blood anymore. I know that you don't want me drinking it without consent."
"So let's go back the way we are, okay?" he asked.
That... wasn't what she expected. He didn't get her indirect confession. Instead, he took it as a sign of rejection; a sign of her telling him that he doesn't want to deal with his sh*t. And thus, he gave up pursuing her. The misinterpretation definitely worked to her advantage. What he said meant that he won't bother her anymore.
... However, instead of feeling happy and relieved, why does she feel more pain in her chest? Why does she feel like she wanted to be his b*tch rather than a nothing?
Ignoring the conflicted emotions swelling up in her heart, she gave Laito a large grin which hid her actual emotion. "D*mn right, you are! Took you long enough, pink salmon!"
Laito's face lightened as he heard her usual upbeat tone. "So, are we okay now?"
"Yeah! Let's go home!" she stood up from the bench with an enthusiastic jump.
Giddy by her positive response, the redhead nodded, taking her hand and leading her out the park.
His hand was cold as usual. Despite this, she felt warm. Watching his back, she slowly accepted the fact that this was the closest she can be to him. At this proximity, she can stay near him without experiencing the risk of getting hurt. It was enough.
Enough.
With that thought, she wiped the lone tear that was threatening to fall from her eyes as discreetly as she can.
She can now continue hiding her feelings and be safe from the emotional torture she could've experienced from baring the affection she has to a cold-hearted person. She won't let her true feelings slip away from her protective walls ever again. That she would hopefully do.
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Dilapidated pillars, cracked walls, and broken stained glasses. Rock debris littered the area while the pews were still aligned perfectly. A human-sized statue of their god on a cross hang above the middle front of the aisle, staring down with its marble eyes. A sturdy wooden table stood below the statue, a golden chalice on top.
Despite the uncomfortable itch he feels while staying in the rundown church, the male remained seated on one of the pews, blankly staring at the altar.
He imagined her small frame marching down the aisle, a veil covering her delicate features. A bouquet of baby's breath was clutched close to her chest. He can virtually see her gentle smile gracing her face as she looked at him. She then broke out of her blushing bride character, laughing and giving him a frantic wave.
"Do I look like an ideal bride?" she asked the male.
He rolled his eyes, only answering her inquiry with a brief demeaning laugh.
"I'll take that as yes." she dismissed with a pout. "We should really practice if we're getting married, you know."
"... We're not even going to get married here," he answered with a nostalgic smile.
He knew so well that he was imagining her and that he was only speaking to himself. However, dreaming is not only limited to humans. Reminiscing and dreaming about their past memories helped him get through the decades, after all.
"Then how are we getting married!?" the girl asked in a horrified tone.
He shrugged and with a rough voice said, "I don't know, tsch."
"I've dreamed of a church wedding as a kid! This is unfair!" she whined, crossing her arms.
"You're such a kid, Kiyoko," he replied.
The girl pouted at his words, soon brushing it off as she looked away. "Let me be one, you bipolar guy."
His vision of her faded as she said those words. The aisle he had been staring at was empty once again. He was back in his reality. The reality that she was not by his side anymore.
She was within his reach back then. He could've made her stay. He was so close in making her stay. If only... If only...
With a loud and angered sigh, that male punched the pew in front of the one he was sitting at, breaking it into pieces.
"Kiyoko..." he whispered.
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Close But Not Quite
When one is close to their goal but they ended up not being able to meet it due to unprecedented circumstances.
QED.