I don't waste any time after my engagement party and start packing my luggage after Stacey called me. All my family members have planned out every about my marriage but there is something they need to know before it goes any more complicated.
I step down on the stairs and call for my mom.
"Mom, I'm going."
She comes from the kitchen holding a spatula in her hand, looking me up and down.
"It's just one week before your marriage. You still think that you wanna go?"
"Yes Mom, I have to take care of some business."
"Do you need any help? If you want I can go____"
Before she can complete, I nod my head, "No mom its fine, Mrs. Martin just wants me to see her."
Her face fall as she realizes I'm not going to take her with me. I don't like to lie my mom but in this situation it doesn't feel right.
"Okay" she mumbles and I step forward to give her a hug.
"Bye maa."
I start my engine and drive towards the end of the city and call Stacey...
"Stacey where are you ?"
"How's he ?"
"Is he crying ?"
I don't let her say anything, the feeling inside in me that something bad is going to happen is driving me crazy.
"Breath Mia."
"Breath."
"He's totally fine and sleeping in my lap. I'm at Grandma's home Come early and drive safe, you don't wanna get hurt at this time. Do you?"
" Yeah I'm coming."
After forty five minutes of driving I reach my destination. I shut the car door, grabbing my luggage I ring the door bell.
Mrs. Martin opens the door with a wide smile on her face.
"Ohh darling your here."
She engulfs me in a warm hug and I return it back but my eyes are locked somewhere else.
Or you can say on someone.
Austin.
My little secret.
Mrs. Martin unfolds her hand and gestures to me to move forward. My legs are glued to the floor as I stare at my baby boy's sleeping face.
Everything in my life is so fucked up.
Everything.
That it includes him too without me realizing it.
Grandma squeezes my shoulder to reassure me. I look back at her and she gives me motherly look.
I gather all my courage and step forward.
Looking at him sleeping peacefully crushes my heart in million pieces. He doesn't deserve a mother like me and I don't deserve him. May be that's the reason why I gave legal custody of Austin to Mr. and Mrs. Martin, Stacey's grand parents and they gladly took it.
It was the hardest decision of my life but for once in my life I didn't thought about my happiness,
For once in my life I didn't plot anything to get it in my way.
For once I tried to be selfless.
I tried to be a mother.
No matter how hard it was but I knew it was the best decision. Being pregnant when you're barely nineteen isn't easy. It made me furious that how my life went like this.
Like so fucked up.
"Can I ?" I softly whisper and extend my hands.
"Obviously"
And just then Stacey put my baby boy in my hands.
His tiny body perfectly fits within my lap as I press him in my chest.
"I'm sorry baby."
"Momma is soo sorry". I whisper and kiss his cheeks and forehead.
I don't even has the right to call being a mother. My life is so fucked up that and most importantly it's bringing his life in it too.
I make my way to his room and sit on the rock chair, holding his small body gently at my chest and keep saying that I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Isn't it all I have done in my whole life?.
The guilt erupts not on my chest but inside my brain. What I had done or I would have done is the worst sin committed by any mother. I only can make amends in subtle ways and hope that Austin will forgive me one day.
I wake up when I feel someone's hand on my hair, gently stroking it.
"Hey Grandma." and then I look in my lap and find it empty.
The look on my face obviously gives her what I was thinking when Grandma says, " Don't worry, I put him in his bed, he's soundly asleep."
I nod my head in response.
"You remember I have told you if you want I'll you his custody any day you want?"
"I remember."
I turn my gaze away from her because I don't know what she's gonna say or may be I'm not ready to hear it.
"So you're ready ?"
My lips quivers as my gaze fell on the floor.
"Why are you afraid ?"
" Do you think I can be a good mother after what I was going to do him ?".
"What matters is that you didn't do anything."
I get up from the rock chair. The last thing I want Grandma to feel that I'm disrespecting her. I was about to cross the door when...
"Don't you think it's time for say the truth? You're going to marry someone and you think it's right to keep Austin as a secret?"
I stop and turn to her.
" I can't Grandma. It's so difficult. What will I explain them that their daughter got knocked up at nineteen and what I'm gonna say when they'll ask me who's the father ?"
"You're afraid about what they will think ?"
I close my eyes tightly, " I'm not ashamed about Austin. He's the best thing ever happened to me but he doesn't deserve a mother like me."
She gets up from her seat and walks at my direction looking at my eyes,
"We love him a lot but he deserves to know everything dear that includes his family, love, affection, a mother"
I hold my breath as I know what she's going to say next.
"and to know that who's his real father too."
After that Grandma left me in Austin's room. I close the door behind her and slip in the bed beside Austin's tiny body. I stare at him as there is a conflicting war going on in my mind. I push away the thoughts and focus on the best memories of Austin.
How my whole world stopped when I found out I was pregnant.
How happy I was when I went to Alex to tell him the truth.
How everything fucking should be just like happily ever after.
But nothing happens according to our way, life has its own choices planned out for us.
My life has always been like this and I won't ever let Austin's life be like this.
Grandma was right. Austin deserves everything, his own family, his Grandparents, his mother and....
his father too.
I pick my phone up from the side table and dial a number.
"Hello."
"Hey mom. I..umm..I want you all to know something, sorry about someone."
"What's that sweetie ? Everything's alright ?" Mom says with concern.
"Do you believe me mom?"
"Yes of course I do, we all do."
"I'm coming back Mom and please call Alex and ask him to come over our home."
"Okay I'll do that but at least tell me what's going on ?"
"You'll know Mom, love you, bye."
I hung up before she can ask any questions. I pack some necessary stuffs for Austin and get ready.
I splashed some water on my face and look at the mirror at my reflection.
"I can do this. I have do it for Austin."
I tell myself looking at the mirror. By the time when I walk out washroom Austin was awake.
He's gibberish in his own mono syllable words as I pick him up. He's one and an eighth months old. I look in his eyes, " Momma has missed you so much baby, Please forgive me."
I kiss his baby hands and he smiles looking at my direction. May be he's saying that he has forgiven me.
I step out of Austin's room when I find Grandma and Stacey are already in the living room.
Stacey looks at my direction and smiles, "let's go, it's time for our Mr. Chubby's grand entry." She takes Austin from my hold while talking to him in his baby language.
I look at both of them shock.
"How...how do you guys know I'm returning back?"
"You're a good mother. You'll never take anything from Austin. I knew that and that's why I told Stacey to be ready."
My throat tighten and I hug Grandma.
"I never know what would have happened if you never showed up in the clinic with Stacey. Thank you soo much for everything."
"You would never do anything to Austin. He has the best mother. I'm glad that you gave me his responsibility. He's my great grandson and always will be."
A fresh tear slip on my cheeks as Grandma wipes them away.
"Go, you'll be late."
I nod at her direction and get into my car's back seat. I place Austin on my lap while preparing his feed in feeding bottle. Stacey gets in the driver's seat and starts the engine.
Everything's gonna be fine now.
I have my baby boy with him and I know my parents will love him.
But....
Thinking about the reaction of Alex is enough to rise my heart beat. After the engagement party night hos badly I behaved with him. He's going to hate me even more.
We drive in silence as I was in my own thoughts which were driving me insane. But never in my life I was ready for what was going to happen next. I wish I would never came back into Austin's life.
I told you my life is fucked up and I bring his too, no matter how much I tried.
Everything happens so quick as I feel a sudden jolt of pressure on my back which pushes me forward. I scream, I scream loud. The only sound I can hear is crushing of the glass mixed with crushing bone.
I feel the bloody taste in my mouth but I can't figure out what it is. At times my eyelids closed so tight as a sudden severe headache pierce through my head.
Everything hurts.
My legs,
My chest,
My hands,
My hands ?
Austin ?
My eyes flutter open as panic shoot through me. I try to comprehend the situation but I couldn't move. I try to get harder away from the car but i couldn't fucking move anything.
"Austin."
"Austin."
"Austin"
"Stacey"
"No no no..God please fucking no"
"God no."
"Please."
"Please don't take him away from me."
I cry hard. I yell hard that my ears are bleeding. Everything fucking thing is feeling like a tons of pressure are placed upon me. Like I'm being smashed in a tiny box.
"Nurse please give her Injection Phenargan intramuscularly stat, she's going into shock." A voice orders which is unknown to me. There's sounds of monitors increasing the pain in my head. Everything feels heavy.
A way too heavy to even breath.
Someone grab my both arms as I feel a pricking pain in my thing and everything becomes black.
A/N
I'm so sorry guys for not uploading any chapters. It's been so long, how are you guys doing ?.
I know you guys are going to hate me for this chapter but it's already has been written on their fate. Life isn't easy for everyone.
I know I'm not good in this Author Note type of thing but share your views with me in the comment box about this chapter.
Hey Guys I have an announcement to make. One of my friend has uploaded her very first book in Wattpad so, I'll be great full to you if you kindly show her your love just the way you showed me.
😃😃😃😃