Chapter 4
(My Idea of what Thad would look like------------>)
Two other guys joined the crew on shift seeing that it looked like Kelly wasn’t coming back anytime soon. Their names were Shaun and Danny, and the only word I could use to describe them was exuberant. Xavier had introduced them to me at breakfast, and they both welcomed me into the fold and practically shoved Robbie and Dave out f the way as they took a seat at either side of me. Shaun asked me questions as Danny hung on everything I said. I didn’t notice that everyone at the table, including the chief was listening to me answer the multiple questions until Shaun asked me if I had a girlfriend. I shook my head at him and prayed that he would leave it at that, but no, he turned and asked me why not. And I felt my cheeks warm as I glanced around the table and every eye was trained in my direction. I swallowed the bite of eggs in my mouth and it went down my throat like a rock.
I drew in a deep breath and just decided to bite the bullet and admitted that I was gay. They were all silent for a minute before Shaun quick as flash, and without missing a beat asked me if I had a boyfriend. I was in awe, I again shook my head and watched as everyone went back to their food like nothing happened, and I guess nothing did. They didn’t seem to mind it at all that I was gay and my shoulders slumped with relief. Shaun seemed to be satisfied that his questions were answered and he went back to his food. I took a moment while everyone seemed to be preoccupied with finishing their breakfast to peek at the chief only to find those shimmering green eyes staring right back at me. I almost swallowed my tongue as the big man gave me a little smirk before turning to talk to Xavier.
My cheeks felt like they were on fire as I picked up a some of the soiled dishes and carried them through to the kitchen. I made two more rounds before Xavier’s deep voice boomed out my name along with Robbie, Chuck, and Tom. I was told that we were going grocery shopping this morning and I was to meet them outside in front of the garage. Shaun, Danny, and Dave were staying behind on house cleaning duty. After his announcement, Xavier took off behind the chief and headed towards the office. I finished with the dishes and I wondered why the hell the guys seemed so excited to have house duty, I would have thought that going grocery shopping was more exciting than scrubbing toilets, but meh, maybe shopping for a station full of men was a challenge in itself. I was the first one out the door and I was practically bouncing in place by the time Xavier, Robbie, Tom, and Chuck joined me. They just smiled fondly at me as Xavier grabbed the keys to the smaller of the Fire Trucks and I all but vibrated with excitement as he handed out the radios, just in case we got a call while we were out.
I was so stoked, this would be my very first ride in one of my company engines and I was trying desperately not to show how excited I was, but I must have failed miserably when my ass hit the seat in the back of the truck and Tom chuckled and said, “Down boy.” And he took over strapping me into the safety harness. It was an awesome experience riding in the engine, I could just imagine it, racing through the streets with all alarms blaring, and lights flashing as we were called to a fire. I closed my eyes and savored this moment. All I have ever wanted to be was a fireman. I have dreamed of this day since I was a little kid, and a I proudly stepped down out of the big,shiny, red fire truck and waved at the little kids that were pointing our way and showing their parents the big red truck like I used to do. The guys just slapped me on the back and huddled me towards the entrance of the store.
I should have known I was in for it when they all grabbed a cart and told me to grab one too. Xavier pulled out a piece of paper and like dutiful little ducklings we followed in his wake as he charged up and down each isle. It was like triple for everything that was on the list, so if it said orange juice, then it was four or five gallons of the stuff. By the time we made it to the checkout line, I had to really had to put my back into pushing the cart it was so heavy. The poor check out girl resembled a robot as she swiped item after item and the bag boy was overwhelmed as stuff came flying his way. During the whole process Xavier was texting away on his phone and frowning at it. I was just about to ask him if something was wrong when the clerk called out an unholy total for our bill, and Xavier just handed her an Amex Card which she swiped and returned to him. He signed the bill and stuffed the copy into his pocket and we all grabbed a cart headed back to the truck.
We unloaded everything into the rig and we were on the road again. It seemed to me that Xavier was driving a whole lot slower than when he drove to the store. He took another route too, and this way was longer. Usually I wouldn’t give a shit but man, I had to pee. And it wouldn’t do to head for the bushes to relieve myself while I was in uniform. I was too busy thinking of bone dry deserts and I wasn’t paying attention to the whispered conversation going on between Xavier in the front and Robbie who had his head ducked through the partition.
It took another whopping twenty minutes to get to the station house when the drive itself should have only taken fifteen minutes tops. Whatever, the rig barely rolled to a stop before I jumped out grabbed to armfuls of groceries and took off for the kitchen with Xavier hollering my name behind me, but I just shouted, “Gotta take a leak.” And continued on my way. I put the bags in the huge butcher’s block in the middle of the room and jogged my way over and up the stairs.
As I reached the top of the stairs, I heard grunting and the unmistakable sound of flesh slapping against flesh. The spasming of my bladder ceased to a complete stop and my heart froze in my chest. My feet carried me closer to the source of the noise and I peeked around the corner and into the sleep room and, Oh my sweet baby Jesus, my little gay boy threw his pom poms up in the air and braced a hand over his heart and the other over his forehead and swooned dead away. I gasped as my eyes traveled from one writhing figure to the other. This was the stuff of gay porn, Danny had Shaun bent over on the cot and he was pounding relentlessly into his ass as Dave stood behind with his head thrown back, and his hands on Shaun’s hips urging the man to bounce off his cock.
I stood there rooted to the spot, my mind blank until Danny huffed out that they needed to hurry up because Xavier already texted them that we were on the way home, and that’s when the bubble popped in my head. I felt a wave of nausea engulf me as I stumbled away from the door, I swung around with all intentions to get the hell out of the station house, but I slammed right into a broad muscled chest. I raised my shocked gaze to see Xavier standing there, shame and embarrassment filled every pore in my body. All the innuendos, the staring, and double meanings of what they said and did during the few days I have been here finally made sense. They all must have had a good laugh on the young naive gay rookie, when I obviously didn’t have a clue as to what they were talking about. It cut like a knife deep inside when I thought that they were actually going to be like brothers to me, and now this. Here I thought I was fitting in, when all the while...I just couldn’t even think about it. I pushed Xavier out of the way and stormed down the stairs and ran past the concerned faces of the other guys.
I didn’t have a clue as to where I was going and without my truck keys or anything I just ran. My feet carried me at a fast as they could through the neighborhood, and I came up to a park before I slowed down. I walked what looked like a solitary trail until I came to up some picnic benches off the path and against the trees.I climbed up on the bench and planted my ass on the table top. I felt so stupid, I ran through every word and every action of the men since setting foot in the station, and even the chief’s warning about them hazing me made me feel like a dumb ass.
How I was I going to face anybody there, did they all fuck each other? How was I supposed to fit in? All I ever wanted was to live up to being the hero I had always dreamt to be, I never expected anything like this, and I guess that’s why it’s hit me so hard. That and the fact that everyone knew about everyone else and I was the odd one out, no one thought to confide in me. They all teased me about it but I was too into the clouds to get what the Hell it was they were really saying. I hung my head with my hands dangling over my knees and just sat there.
Afternoon turned into evening and evening was fast turning into late evening, the sun was beginning to go down, and I figured I was going to have to go back at some point. I heaved myself off the table and slowly trudged my way back up the trail and out of the park. I had to catch my bearings before I realised exactly where I was before making my way back to the station house. I wondered if I was going to be fired for abandoning my post or for seeing something that I shouldn’t have. There was only one way to find out as I stopped just outside of the garage bay, I took a deep breath and swiped my ID badge to get in.
Pulling up my big boy pants, I went to the chief’s office. I heard voices drifting in and the smell of food coming from the dining room and I hoped and prayed this as one of those evenings that the chief decided to take his meal in his office.
But when I got to his office and passed Cathy’s neat as a pin desk, his door was open so I guessed that he was in the dining room and I refused to go in there right now. I was about to step away before I heard a noise from within his office, so I tapped on the door frame and waited for the gruff, “Enter.” Before making my way fully into his domain and immediately cursed my luck. It was a good thing my poor unhinged little gay boy was still passed out because the sight of the chief standing their with the front of his uniform shirt unbuttoned and revealing his sculpted abs and his chiseled chest was too much for him to take right now.
“Close the door and have a seat.” The larger man stated and I averted my eyes and complied with his request.
Once I sat down, I had no clue what I came here to say. I was so out of my depth and so discouraged I could see my dream shrivel up and die right in front of my eyes. The chief picked up the phone and pressed a number before barking out, “My office, now!” And he slammed the headset back on the cradle. He sat down in his chair with a heavy sigh and I could feel his eyes burning holes into my bent head. There was a tap on the door and the chief bellowed his consent for the person to enter. Xavier took the seat next to mine and studied me for a minute before turning towards the chief.
“Xavier told me what you witnessed this afternoon before you took off to God knows where. Your crew have spent several hours looking for you, but you just disappeared into the wind before anything could have been explained, or issues addressed. That is not how we do things in the unit. Now please tell me what’s running through your head so we can address this and move on.”
I took a quick glance at the chief’s face and licked my dry lips before explaining my shock at seeing the men together like that right here in the station house. I went on to tell them how overwhelmed and embarrassed I was, and how I felt like they have been making fun of me the entire time I was here. By the time I got to the end of my tale, the chief just looked at Xavier and nodded his head. He swiveled in chair and pulled a couple of papers from the files in his desk drawer as Xavier excused himself from the room.
I watched almost transfixed as he came around the desk and perched on the edge of it right in front of me, and my little cheerleader was now wide awake and drooling as my eyes traveled up that awe inspiring physique and further up to his handsome face. “You have it all wrong, the boys weren’t laughing at you at all, they were feeling you out to see of you would truly be able to fit in here. As I told you from the beginning these guys are close, they have all survived life and death situations together, they live together, eat together, celebrate and grief together. They are abnormally close, so it wasn’t long before they began to sleep together too, and I let them do it because I know they would either do it behind my back or come to resent my authority later on. As long as they aren’t hurting anyone, and they keep it private amongst themselves then I don’t have a problem with it.”
I let his words sink in and to be honest, I could see where he was coming from. I could see how the relationships between the guys developed. But the way he said it, I wondered if he participated too and I could have laid down and died of mortification when the words popped out of my unfiltered mouth and asked him just that question.
He raised an surprised brow at me and smirked. “No, I don’t participate, I made the mistake of giving in one night with Kelly and the man thought more into what it was, so therefore in order not to show favoritism. I keep myself well out of it and let the boys have their fun.”
“Pity.” I said and immediately slapped my hand over my wayward mouth and wondered what the hell was wrong with me. The big man took one look at my wide eyes and my redden cheeks and burst out laughing, he had to bend and rest his hands on his knees he laughed so hard. And my whole body lit up with embarrassment. Jeez, my filter must have been shocked out of commission.
He wiped his eyes just as Xavier re entered the office. He handed me my keys and my cell phone and wallet. Confused, I looked to the chief and he handed me a stack of papers. “Those are transfer request forms. Look no one is going to ask you to participate in anything you don’t want to do. You can continue to work for this house or you can move on, the only thing I ask is that you protect this station’s privacy. I am giving you tonight to go home and think about it. When you come back here in the morning, it’s either hand me those papers signed and await my instructions, or get your ass back upstairs and prepare for a day of training exercises and since you missed today's it will be a grueling session. You decide and let me know. you are excused.”
I took the papers and I pocketed my phone and my wallet. Walked to the door, I looked back o into his stunning green orbs before stepping out into the hall. I made my way back outside, my mind was swirling, but I already knew what my decision was going to be. It was an honor to be picked for Ladder 29 and I was going to remain with my station. But how in the world was I going to deal with the guys knowing they slept with each other, and that they might even want to sleep with me. I was so way out of my league and I had no clue what to do about it. That was the concern that prickled me all the way home.