Jake Walton in a suit was sexy enough, but the man who had shown up in khaki shorts and a blue polo shirt took Lil's breath away. His shorts stopped mid-thigh, long enough to be fashionable, but short enough to remind Lil of what he had looked like with much less on.
Lil looked away.
Better decisions could only come from gaining some control over her libido. Seriously, Jake was just another man. An incredibly gorgeous, sexually talented, inspiration-for-dreams-you-don't-want-to-wake-up-from man, but that didn't mean she couldn't keep a clear head today.
Lil snuck another quick perusal
Damn.
Dressed in a simple brown cotton skirt, light green blouse and sandals, Lil was determined that their day together would stay as tame as the clothing she'd chosen. She bent to place her daughter in the car seat. "Come on in," she said as she collected the necessary supplies for the day. "We're ready."
Colby babbled happily as she was secured into her seat. Lil swung her diaper bag up onto her shoulder, reaching down to pick up the car seat.
Jake's hand beat her to it. "I'll carry her; I bet she's getting heavy."
He smiled down at Colby who smiled back at him and Lil fought the desire to rip her child out of his hands and run. Neither of them had any business getting attached to Jake. Today was not about that. Tomorrow, things would go right back to being over.
Lil took a deep breath and reminded herself that this was for Abby.
"Thank you," she said and hoped she didn't sound as stressed as she felt. He was going to get suspicious if she looked like a trapped animal the whole day. Be cool. Be casual. "I couldn't find my stroller, so hopefully there is one wherever we're going."
"I had yours stored in your trunk."
"Of course." Lil smoothed her nervous hands on her skirt and picked up her purse. "Then let's go."
At least having Colby with them insured that nothing would happen between them.
Bringing her had been a good idea.
Unless Jake really is dangerous and now I put my daughter in jeopardy, too. Oh, shit.
You're losing it, Lil.
Jake had never given her a reason to think that he would ever hurt her or her child. She was letting Alethea's paranoia make her nuts.
The trip down the elevator was painfully silent as was the wait for the car to be brought out of the parking lot. Jake opened the door for Lil and handed her the car seat, watching as she secured it.
Not the mannerisms of a madman.
Relax.
Lil jumped when Jake asked, "Do you want me to drive?"
Since her legs were ready to betray her by shaking, Lil nodded. Driving while deceiving was never a safe option. Officer, I'm sorry I didn't see that red light I was too busy thinking about what Jake was going to say if he ever discovered why I asked him to come out with me today.
She gladly handed Jake her keys.
Buckled into the passenger seat, Lil faced forward, but watched Jake out of the corner of her eye. He'd secured his own seat belt, but hadn't started the car.
"We can't be friends, Lil," he announced to the steering wheel.
"Excuse me?" Lil swallowed nervously. In the movies, this is where he would tell me that I should have minded my own business–that he had hoped things would go differently, but I knew too much to be allowed to live.
Jake looked across at her, the intensity in his eyes trapping her like a deer in headlights.
"I don't think I have to tell you why it's not possible."
Because friends don't bury friends in shallow graves in the woods?
Lil bit back a nervous giggle.
He said, "I've been thinking about how you called what we're doing cheap. It doesn't have to be. I do care about you, Lil, and I'd like for us to start over."
No, no, no. Do not even go there. I like being afraid of you better than this. This path only leads to a tsunami of guilt. "Jake, please..."
He turned in his seat and took her hand. "Hear me out. You took me by surprise and I handled the situation poorly. Everything you said the other day was spot on right. We don't know each other, but we can change that. I'm not here because Dominic sent me. Today, I'm here because I want to be. I want to give us a chance–not as friends, but as whatever this is–wherever this goes. This is a date, Lil; make no mistake about that. Our first date, one of many to come, and hopefully one that you'll never forget."
I can pretty much guarantee that I'll remember today.
He was waiting for her to say something.
She removed her hand from his. I am going to Hell for this. Yep, forget about prison, this is the fiery after-life kind of wrong. "I can't promise you anything, Jake."
His eyes smoldered with emotion as if her words only made him want her more. "You don't have to."
Lil turned forward in her seat and clasped her hands in her lap, trying to keep her tone as cheerful as possible. "So, where are we going?"
"I thought I'd surprise you."
Oh, you did.
Trust me, you did.
"What are we doing here?" Lil asked as they parked her car in front of the Boston Museum's School of Fine Arts.
Jake walked around the car to open the door for her before he answered. "On Thursday mornings the school has an art program for the very young and their mothers. They make their own paints and sometimes display their creations in the atrium. They have graciously allowed us to join the class today."
Once Colby was settled into her stroller, Jake tipped a young man who had apparently been hired to park the car for them. As they walked into the building together, Lil asked, "You really signed us up for an art class?"
"Unless you'd rather do something else?"
"No, this is fine."
This is perfect, actually. Well, it would be perfect if I weren't a complete ass.
Lil followed Jake through the halls to a small classroom where four mothers and their babies were gathered around one large round table. The children ranged in age from near Colby's age to one that looked like she was almost two.
A casually dressed, gray-haired woman in a large clear plastic apron met them as they entered the door. Her face looked years younger than her hair implied. "You must be Miss Dartley." She shook Lil's hand. "And is this Colby?" She leaned down to smile at the child and then greeted Jake. "Mr. Walton, it is an honor to have you join us today. Your donation was more than generous and will allow us to expand this program."
Jake accepted her gratitude with a nod and a smile.
The woman turned to the mothers behind her. "Ladies, today's class is going to be a bit different. We have some special guests today. This is Mr. Walton, a long-time supporter of the Arts in Boston and his..." She turned to Lil as she stumbled for how to describe her.
"Just call me Lil," Lil supplied hastily.
"Welcome, Lil," two of the mothers said almost in union. The others simply waved.
The older woman continued, "Mr. Walton flew in a surprise that I hope you all enjoy."
A woman with short brown hair entered wearing a long print skirt and hand embroidered blouse. She said "Beunos dias, my name is Carmen Sonnes. Thank you for inviting me to join your group today. Forgive me if I take a moment to set up."
"I appreciate you coming on such short notice," Jake said as the woman approached them.
On one side of the room, Carmen placed three pictures on easels. "Mr. Walton is playing humble. I don't know an artist who would not have boarded the private jet he sent for me."
"Please, call me Jake." Jake smiled smoothly back at the woman and directed his next comment to Lil. "I met Carmen at an art exhibit in Austin a few years ago. I thought you might enjoy meeting her, also."
Over the last week, contained to her apartment, it was easy to forget that Jake was a man of immense power and influence. He didn't wave his wealth around like some war banner trophy as Dominic did. Instead, it was an integral part of who he was and how he interacted with the world around him. Lil doubted that Jake had wondered at all if Carmen would accept his invitation. What was it like to be so used to winning that desired outcomes were hardly a surprise?
"From what I've been told this is a mother/child art group ranging from six months to two years old?" Carmen asked.
"Yes," the instructor said, "We use edible finger paints and a variety of paper types to allow our young participants to explore the textures and colors of art."
"And what do the mothers usually do?" Carmen asked.
One mother laughed and said, "We manage the chaos."
Carmen waved a few young people from the doorway. "I hope you'll accept some assistance in that role today, because I'd really like everyone to be engaged."
A handful of male and female college aged "assistants" came to stand at the table with the mothers. Each one had a wooden easel box full of everything from oil paints and brushes to art sticks and charcoal pencils. "Please accept these art supplies as a gift from me to you. Inside your box you will find a variety of tools you could use to perform the task I will set for you. Keep it simple. You'll have about an hour to complete your project. Before we can truly teach art to our children, we must experience it ourselves."
Six easels were set up with a blank canvas just a foot or so behind each child.
Jake's smile faltered when one student handed him a box of art supplies. "No, thank you," he said.
Lil smiled over her shoulder at Jake. "You're not getting off the hook that easily. If I'm doing this, so are you."
Jake inspected the contents of the box doubtfully. He set his easel directly beside Lil's.
Carmen said, "I didn't study art formally so this may be an atypical lesson for some of you. Today is not about learning a specific technique but will hopefully be interesting to you regardless of your various abilities. Today we will explore your artistic voice."
As she spoke, the instructor handed out multiple baby jars filled with brightly colored paint to the college students who opened them and began to work with the infants.
"I brought three pictures with me today that I feel represent my voice. My style and my art have been called many things: Mexican, Latino, Tejano, Chicano, Tex-Mex, Mexican-American, contemporary, modern, woman-centered, figurative, and representational." Carmen smiled. "I suppose my work is some or all of these things. Basically, it is just what my heart and mind dream up. I am my art and my art is me. I am passionate about color and fascinated by Mexico." She pointed to one of the easels. "The first painting is called Listening to My Own Counsel. When we reach a difficult crossroad, we sometimes go looking for answers outside ourselves. The answers are almost always within us. The four black birds represent the voices and advice of others. The woman turns her gaze and ears inward, beneath her blanket. The blue feather represents traditional wisdom. Symbolism is one way to express yourself in your art. The second painting is called Manitas." She lovingly laid a hand on the top of the second painting. "Manita is short for hermanita or little sister in Spanish. This is how we fondly refer to our sisters and girlfriends. I portray two women, sisters, back to back and on the lookout for each other. I symbolize their tight unity and entangled love by weaving their hair into one thick braid, which runs down the center of the painting." She moved to stand beside the last easel. "The third and final work is called Esperanza. It is a pencil drawing and one of my earliest works. It is my interpretation of a handful of stories passed down through the generations, from my great-grandmother, to my grand-mother, to my mother and lastly to me." Carmen's expression creased with sorrow as if she were experiencing the pain depicted in the artwork. "This story is of the hardships the people endured during the war, particularly the women. Wives often accompanied their husbands to war to carry ammunition, cook, wash, and tend to the injured. Nursing infants and those born on the battlefields became part of those camps. At night time, when enemy troops were near it was imperative for the survival of all that the hungry babies be kept quiet. When breasts ran dry, desperate mothers stuck stones, clods of dirt and even bullets in the wailing child's mouth. Some inconsolable babies had to be smothered. The magnitude of this tale imprinted on my mind as a child and I tell it in this pencil drawing."
A couple of the women teared up at the description of the last image. One woman said with disgust, "I would never hurt my child, no matter what."
Carmen shook her head sadly. "If you can say that, you have never seen war up close. And before you judge, ask yourself–are we so different from our ancestors?" She looked each woman proudly in the eye, holding their attention and pulling at their emotions. "We still give our children to war every day when we send our young men and women into battle on foreign soils. Are our older sons and daughters less precious than our infants? Is that loss any less heart-wrenching than the one in my story?" She took a deep breath, regaining the calm with which she had entered the room. "Still, embrace the reaction you felt to my story. Express it on canvas today. Art is not about everyone having the same vision or shared history–it's about finding your message, your voice, and exposing it to the world. So, no matter what anyone draws today, accept it because it is an intimate look into their souls and therefore should be honored as such."
"Damn," Jake whispered to Lil. "Now I can't draw stick figures."
Lil wiped a rogue tear from her cheek and smiled at him. "You could if your soul is full of sticks."
"What if I draw you naked?" His words tickled her ear.
Lil wagged a finger at him. "Try it and you invite serious payback."
Carmen smiled and said, "Enough chatter. Choose your tools. Take a moment to look inside yourself instead of at the blank canvass. When you are ready, put a piece of yourself onto the canvas. Tell your story."
The room was charged with emotion. Even the babies seemed to sense that something important was happening and were subdued as they dunked their fingers into the edible paints and mixed colors onto the papers before them.
Lil chose colorful art sticks.
Jake chose black charcoal pencils.
Lil dove into drawing with bold lines and bright colors.
Jake's moves were more precise and calculated. He drew himself on top of a mountain surrounded by several doors. Behind each door was a path that led to a different destination. One led to a cliff. One led to a place of order and straight, bold lines. Another led to a much less clear picture. Jake reached over and borrowed a few of Lil's art sticks even though he could have easily used his own. He drew a simple woman with a child and surrounded both with a wild assortment of colors. It was the only place where color touched his sketch.
He caught Lil watching with fascination and actually blushed. "That's how you make me feel," he said simply.
Lil almost knocked over her box of supplies, catching it at the last second. She looked at her own sketch and wondered what he thought of the fact that she hadn't included him in it at all. She had drawn herself, serious and determined, looking miserable with Colby clutched in her arms while she chased Abby. She wasn't even entirely sure what the scene meant, only that it had poured out of her and now stared back at her, revealing something she wasn't sure she wanted to discuss with Jake.
Jake studied her sketch for a moment and said, "Don't take an office job, Lil."
She searched his face.
"You're already the mother Colby needs."
Lil looked quickly at her child, who was licking the green paint off one finger, then back to Jake. "I'm not, Jake. I haven't been the person I need to be, but I am changing that." She thought about how part of becoming a better person had involved killing any chance that something real could develop between them. Forgetting, even for a moment, that her friends were using this time to access Jake's private accounts would only lead to more heartache. She had to remember that none of this was real."The older I get the more I wonder if anyone has the answers or if, like me, they are just doing the best they can and praying every day that it's enough."
The seriousness of her response set Jake back on his heels. He opened and closed his mouth without saying a word.
Carmen had gone from mother to mother and discussed each creation with the novice artists, until she came to Jake and Lil. She correctly interpreted the tension between the two and took them by surprise by reaching out and taking each of them by one hand. For an uncomfortable moment, she simply held them and then nodded without saying anything, giving each hand a comforting squeeze before letting go.
Carmen returned to the front of the group and began to share her observations, but Lil wasn't listening. She was lost in her reaction to Jake's sketch and in his response to hers. Of course, someone like him would think she had options besides taking a job she already dreaded, but that only highlighted how little they had in common. Although it was flattering to be considered someone who added color to his life, she'd already made her choice.
His picture would have been quite different had she confessed the real reason they were together that day. Would it have shown her being led to the gallows? Or, just as painful, would she simply not have shown up at all?
How did betrayal look in charcoal?
Colby let out a cry of frustration and Lil had never been so happy to have an event interrupted.
"She's probably hungry," Lil said as she headed toward her child. She used the supplies provided to clean Colby off and put her back in her stroller, then gave her address to the instructor who said the artwork would be mailed to her.
The visiting artist approached her. "Lil, right?"
"Yes," she said, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with someone who had seen more than she showed most people.
"Your work was very moving," Carmen said.
Lil dismissed the comment as polite small talk. "Thank you. I've always enjoyed sketching, just for fun. Nothing serious."
Carmen continued, "You captured a lot of emotion in just a few crisp lines. You have a gift. You might want to explore it."
Anger flooded in and added bite to Lil's words. "I'm taking a different road; one that I'm happy about."
The artist did not waver. "Honor the message you heard today, both from yourself and your man."
"He's not..."
Carmen smiled and shook her head. "Art never lies."
Unlike me, Lil wanted to say.
Alethea and Jeremy had better be finished whatever the heck they were doing because she needed to end this date. It was simply too painful.
Lil was double checking that she had everything she'd come with when Jake walked over to join her. Lil said, "Well, this was..." She paused. Painful? Awful? Torture? "Nice," she finished lamely.
He rolled one of her loose curls around his finger. "When I imagined this date last night, you were smiling at this point."
Lil tried but failed.
Confusion swirled within her. Was she hoping Jake was innocent so she could believe the side of him that he was showing her today? Or that he was guilty so she would feel less awful about what she'd done? Neither outcome held much comfort for her.
He put an arm gently around her waist and together they thanked everyone and exited the room. Jake guided her out of the building and onto the sidewalk. "Are you ready for lunch?" he asked.
"I really should be getting home. Colby will need a bottle and a nap..."
With his arm still around Lil, Jake said, "Just one more place. Then I promise to deposit you back at your penthouse. Do you have formula with you?"
She considered making an excuse why she couldn't go, but today was already more of a lie than she could stomach. "Yes."
"Let's walk then," Jake said.
They stopped in front of the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the once private home of a woman who had collected art from all over the world and donated the building along with her collection to the city. Although the building had undergone renovations and modern additions had been added, Jake led her to an old entrance.
"Have you been here before?" he asked as they entered the museum and were instantly met by someone who ushered them down a dark hallway and through various rooms that were filled with an eclectic and mostly unlabeled art collection. Normally Lil would have asked to stop to savor some of the many works, but she was determined to end this day at the first opportunity.
When the inner courtyard came into view she almost forgot everything beyond its beauty. Stepping into the long, rectangular courtyard revealed the true an Italian-styled palazzo that had once been nothing more than a private home of a very eccentric and wealthy woman. The garden was a visual feast of flowers, statues, and old world architecture. Elegantly dressed staff met them as they entered the area and led them to a sole table set up at one end of the courtyard, hidden from public view by flowers but positioned so that once seated they would still have an incredible view of the area. Candles lit what would have otherwise been a darkened corner.
Lil had heard of the museum before and the quirky history of the woman who had built it and then donated the building to the city. She'd always meant to come see it, but somehow never had. She was reasonably certain, however, that the courtyard was normally closed to the public. Of course it wasn't closed to Jake. She didn't imagine many places in the world were.
Colby's needs overshadowed the romance of the location at first. Lil sought a place to change her, then asked the staff to help her prepare a bottle. Jake sat across from Lil, appearing to wait patiently while she fed her daughter and then settled her down into the stroller for a nap.
When Lil finally settled back into her seat, she expected Jake to be irritated with her, but found him looking rather pleased with himself instead. He said, "I had a cook prepare a meal for us. I hope you like beef tenderloin. Normally, I would ask for your preference, but it would have ruined the surprise."
He accepted a glass of wine from the staff, tasted it and nodded in acceptance of it. "Do you like it?" he gestured with the glass to the area around them. The server offered to fill Lil's glass, but she shook her head. The last thing she needed was to relax her tongue.
Do I like it?
The setting was unimaginably beautiful, the staff was attentive yet unobtrusive, and the space provided enough quiet for her daughter to sleep while they ate. Who wouldn't love being treated like visiting royalty?
Only a woman who had no right to enjoy it.
She couldn't look him in the eye. "It's beautiful," she said.
He took both of her hands in his and waited for her look up from the table. When she finally did he said, "Why do I get the feeling that there is something wrong?"
"Today was beautiful, Jake. I mean that. The way you included Colby into our day together..." She motioned to the garden around them and the staff that perked up as soon as her hand raised. "All this..."
"Your daughter is your priority." His expression held a bit of longing.
Why are you making this so hard? "You have to see how this wouldn't work."
"Why? Because I don't love you?"
Ouch.
Lil pulled her hands out of his. "There's that."
He opened his napkin and placed it on his lap. "Love is a myth perpetuated by people who don't have anything better to believe in. You're fantastic in bed, you make me laugh, and I enjoy your company. That's enough for me."
Sadly, he probably meant what he was saying.
"That sounds like the last, valiant declaration of a man about to lose his heart completely," she scoffed.
Instead of brushing her comment off or picking up the challenge, he gave her that steady, unblinking look she was beginning to understand meant that his mind was set to his course. "Maybe," he answered.
More on the subject was interrupted by the food arriving. Delicious as it looked, Lil couldn't imagine putting anything into her churning stomach. She finally toyed with a piece of beef enough to bring it to her lips.
"Move in with me," he said calmly.
Lil dropped the fork to her plate with a loud clatter along with the meat she hadn't tasted. "We discussed this."
The strong set of his jaw and the proud look in his eyes told her that he wasn't going to let her brush the topic aside. "Not because you might be pregnant. Move in because you want to fall asleep in my arms at night and wake up next to me each morning."
Lil hedged, "I have Colby..."
He said, "Don't hide behind her. You know I could more than take care of both of you. She would have the best of everything."
Except his love and what kind of life would that be for either of them? "For how long?" Lil asked.
He shrugged. "If you're looking for promises, I don't have any. If it's your financial future you're worried about, I'll have my lawyers draw up some sort of settlement to remove that concern."
There's the Jake I know. Lil tossed her napkin onto the table and stood. "Wow, you're about as romantic as my car service plan."
"Sit down. Lil," he said in a tone that probably worked on people who cared about pleasing him.
Lil was unimpressed. She leaned one hand onto the table and looked him straight in the eye. "No, I will not sit down. Did you seriously just offer me a settlement to ease my pain on the day–whichever day you choose–when you throw me out?"
His explanation was lacking. "It's quite common to think about..."
Lil gathered her purse, took her baby stroller by the handle and started to leave. So as not to disturb Colby, she lowered her voice, but her tone remained angry. "Maybe it's common in your world. Not mine. I'm one of those poor sops, I suppose, who has nothing better to believe in than...than..."
He blocked her exit. "You can't even say the word and you think I'm the one with the problem?"
She sucked a breath in harshly, her hands flexing on the handle of her stroller. "Fine. You're right. I'm too screwed up to accept your offer. Luckily for you, there are probably a hundred women within yelling distance who would jump at your offer. Ask one of them. Now get out of my way."
"I don't want them." His jaw set, he planted his feet and continued to block her path. "I want you."
Lil could be just as stubborn. "We all want things we can't have, Jake. That's reality. Now, seriously, don't make me ask someone for help to get past you."
He stepped aside. "I'll drive you home," he growled.
"No," she said and held a hand in front of him. "You'll give me my keys and find your own ride to wherever you're going – hopefully New York."
Smooth Jake was struggling to contain his growing frustration with her. Impatiently he dug the keys out of the front pocket of his shorts, but did not immediately give them to her. "If you're sure that is what you want."
Lil simply maintained her stance. What she wanted didn't matter; she knew what she had to do. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, tell him everything, and accept his pitiful offer. She wanted to believe that despite what he said, he was already half in love with her. And against all common sense, she wanted to think that he could forgive her if she told him the truth.
Wanting wasn't enough.
And it certainly didn't make his last offer any less insulting.
"Lil," he said and paused as his cell phone rang. He checked it quickly. "I have to take this."
Unable to stop herself, she said, "Maybe it's your lawyer and you can tell him to leave the name blank for now on that settlement form."
His phone rang again. He answered his phone, but mouthed to Lil, "This is not over."
Yes, it is, Lil thought. I'm not doing this again.
She was almost through the roped area that led to the rest of the museum when she heard Jake completely lose his cool for the first time since she'd met him. His voice boomed through the courtyard. "What the hell? I thought you'd beefed up our firewall in anticipation of something like this. I'm absolutely coming back–right now. And I'm going to find out how this happened."
Lil stepped up her pace.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This was exactly why he didn't believe in acting impulsively.
He should have been in New York, in his office, on top of the situation and keeping his team on high alert. There was absolutely no excuse for something like this happening, but there was an explanation.
He'd let his lust for Lil cloud his judgment and distract him when he most needed to be focused on saving Corisi Enterprises.
I'm no better than Dominic. We both deserve to be flipping burgers next year if we screw this up.
What was it about those Dartley women?
For just a moment, he entertained the possibility that they could have been planted by the competition. Did Stephan's initial plot against Dominic include gaining their trust and then taking both men out of the picture via the oldest trick in the book?
No, not only were Lil and Abby likely the most thoroughly background checked women in the country, but he pictured Lil putting him in his place the very first night he'd met her and smiled. Lil would make an awful mole. She said whatever was on her mind. She might be frustrating as hell–but she was no liar.
The weight of responsibility lay squarely on his shoulders. He'd watched Dominic check out of reality after he lost his father over a month ago and there was no sign that he'd be checking back in any time soon.
Getting involved with Lil right now was irresponsible, ill-advised, and all he'd been able to think about this past week. Why couldn't she just move in with him and remove the fascination of it all? Familiarity was the most likely antidote to what was beginning to feel like an obsession.
Mentioning the settlement had been a mistake. She was wavering until he'd tossed that tidbit into the ring.
Maladroit comments were out of character for him. So was asking a woman to move in with him; never mind practically begging her to.
What was happening to him?
He wasn't sure how to move forward with Lil.
He had no idea how to make Dominic see how close they were to losing everything.
But there was one area he was still certain of. He was going to find out who had hacked into his personal computer and whoever it was he was going to crush them financially, and quite possibly, physically. Never before had he understood the lure of violence, but right about now the urge to punch someone was surging within him.
Pulling up to the building that housed her new apartment, Lil decided that it was too beautiful of a day to hide away inside so she handed her keys to the valet and took her daughter to a local park. She was pushing Colby lightly back and forth in one of the baby swings when her phone rang.
She almost didn't answer it.
What am I afraid of? Really, how much worse could today get?
Alethea's voice exploded from the phone as soon as Lil answered. "Lil, I've got good news for you."
Considering the source, that was highly unlikely.
"I could use some, Al." Lil sighed and pushed her daughter's swing again.
"I don't think they're doing anything illegal. Everything points more to damage control. Looks like our friends are in scramble mode to fix something. My guess is it has something to do with that Chinese server Dominic has scheduled to unveil next month. Jake's good, though. Nothing in his email was specific."
"So the good news is that Dominic is having some huge server issue?" It didn't sound like anything to celebrate.
"No the good news is that my instincts are still sharp. There is definitely something going on, but it doesn't sound like anything that will endanger your sister."
So Jake isn't a criminal.
Lil scrambled to piece together what it all meant. How would their date this morning have ended if she'd never doubted him? Could she blame Jake for thinking their relationship might not last when she ended every encounter with him by telling him that she never wanted to see him again?
I keep thinking that Jake is the one who is wrong, the one who has to change, but what if it's me? What if I could have had everything but lost it because I was too scared to trust that something that wonderful could happen to me? Never knowing the answer to that would be the price she'd pay for believing the worst of Jake again and again. "I'm heading down to New York in the morning. I've changed my mind. I don't think you should go." Lil balanced the phone on her shoulder while she released her daughter from the swing and returned her to the stroller.
Lil was too restless to stand there and pretend she wasn't full of nervous energy.
Real concern entered her friend's voice. "Are you feeling guilty about today? We didn't have a choice, Lil."
Everyone faced tough choices, but not everyone always made the wrong one. "Al, Jake knows someone hacked his computer."
"What? How do you know?" Alethea's voice went up a pitch.
Back on the sidewalk and heading home, Lil said, "He got a phone call while we were at lunch and I heard him say that they had made changes to their firewall to ensure that something like this couldn't happen. What if he knows it was Jeremy? What if he traces it back to him...to you...to me?"
Alethea said, "Jeremy did say that he'd encountered a snag."
"A snag? A snag?" Lil heard her own voice rise with panic and took a deep breath. People on the street were beginning to stare at her. Great, maybe I'll end up in a video on the internet and round this week out. She lowered her voice to near a whisper. "You said no one would ever know."
"Knowing that someone breached your security is a long way from knowing who did it. Jeremy is careful. He has several dummy, dead-end accounts. No one will ever find out about today, Lil, unless you tell them."
"I know," Lil said with little conviction as she gratefully ducked into the privacy of the high-rise building she still didn't consider her home. She leaned her head back against the cold wall of the elevator as it carried her up to the top floor.
"Lil, I recognize that tone. You want to confess."
"I know I can't."
"Exactly. Jeremy and I could be in serious trouble with the law if you do. This is the kind of secret to take with you to the grave, Lil."
"Don't you think I know that?" Only a fool would want to risk everything for a man who'd made it pretty clear that he didn't love her. Lil let herself into her penthouse.
Alethea shared her opinion by saying nothing at all.
Lil removed Colby from the stroller and took her to the bedroom to change her. The contrast between the mundane and the insane made it difficult to reconcile the two. Lil said, "Trust me, if I didn't spill the beans this morning, I can keep my mouth shut through anything."
"That bad?" Despite the tension of their conversation, Alethea sounded sympathetic.
"That good. He even asked me to move in with him."
"What did you say?"
Lil grimaced. "I said no. What could I say?"
"Were you tempted?"
"I don't know. He says the stupidest things, but then he does something that shows me that he cares about what's important to me and I want to believe that something is possible between us. Oh, Al, I think I'm falling in love with him, but I ruined everything, didn't I?"
Ever the practical one, Alethea said, "You can have your happy ending, Lil, if we mutually agree to forget what we did today."
Lil had done plenty in her life that she considered rash, but she'd never hidden. When you are doing something that you believe in, you don't have to hide – at least, that was what she'd always believed.
Deceiving Jake ranked highest on her list of what she regretted doing. Looking back over her time with him, it was clear to Lil that he'd tried to protect her–even from their attraction. Not telling him was a blackness growing in her heart. "I don't feel right about lying, Al."
All sympathy left her friend's voice. "How right will you feel when we're sharing a cell at the local penitentiary? It won't be only me going down. You're just as culpable."
I know.
Lil said slowly, "Maybe Jake would understand why we had to know what was going on."
"Or maybe not." Lil blew out an exasperated breath. "We're not kids anymore, Lil. No one is going to lock us up for one night and try to scare us straight. We all have too much to lose. Do you want Abby to raise Colby for you? Because that's what will happen if you forget how serious this is and end up in the slammer with me."
Lil shuddered at the thought and confused tears made it difficult to locate the wipes as she changed her daughter's soiled diaper. When she'd agreed to the hack, she hadn't thought this far ahead. She'd risked much more than she'd understood at the time. Colby was her number one priority. How could she have done something that put her in jeopardy?
She secured the new diaper, arranged her daughter's clothing and hugged her daughter to her as she walked back to the living room.
"I have to go see Jeremy and warn him," Alethea said.
"See if he can cover his tracks better?" Lil asked, settling Colby on the floor with some toys.
"That, and to warn him that they know someone was there. He planned to go back in one more time."
"Back in? Why?"
"He said he found something he hadn't expected to and it made him curious."
"Oh, no. Alethea, he'll get caught for sure if he tries to access their system again."
"That's why I've got to go to his house. He doesn't answer his phone most of the time–not even texts."
Lying on one side on the floor, Lil forced a smile for her daughter's sake. Colby wasn't fooled, she let out a loud wail. I totally know how you feel, Colby. In a shaky voice, Lil asked, "Al, this is going to work out, isn't it?"
Alethea answered with more bravado than she likely felt. "It all depends how smart your boyfriend is."
Shit.
Lil remembered reading a magazine that estimated Jake's IQ to be around the 190 range. He might be irritatingly sexy, frustratingly stubborn, and emotionally thrifty, but there was no doubt that Jake was brilliant.
Oh, this is going to go really badly.
Maybe it was time to start being extra nice to her future brother-in-law. He might be the only one able to keep her and her friends out of jail.