"Humanity," I whispered, relishing the softness of the pillow beneath my face. I picked up the velvet blanket and ran my fingers along the smooth surface. Even this life of luxury was a commodity. Maybe I was just plain lucky to be born rich twice.
But the one thing I was unfortunate to have was love.
Love was like water. It flowed like the liquid, escaped through crevices and was harder to grasp with bare hands.
"Daddy asked me about humanity." I turned to face the painting of mama. "How can I answer that being a child?"
He held high expectations for me but not in the way my parents did in the past life. Rido was more understanding about my mistakes. He treated me like the child I was. He didn't leave me alone in the arms of strangers or to fend for myself.
Rido acted like a true parent, apart from his counterpart in the anime or manga.
He was truer as a parent to me than my own parents in my previous life.
"I forget how easy it is to immerse oneself in this world." I was human once upon a time but disliking my origins and given a second chance, it seemed I loved this life better. That was why I lost myself, my identity and my emotions to the body of a vampire child. Given a second chance with people who dearly loved me made me appreciate what I found.
"Humanity for me is love. Do you want to know why, mama?" Even now, I was lost as Rido. Love for someone consumed us both with grief.
He was a widower and I was a motherless child.
"I will explain everything to you since daddy and Ejin-sama are outside," I began speaking with the language I used in another life. "My name in my last life was Ava Morris. I didn't know love the way you and daddy showered me with because the parents I had were more self-absorbed than anything else."
I sat up on the bed that dad moved into the room because I refused to sleep away from mama's painting. My face took on a solemn expression. "I wasn't allowed to call my own father dad. I called him Sir. He was part of the military and spent most of his time overseas."
I shook my head. "My mother was a social elite. She spent her days in charity events and attending parties than to take care of me. Nannies raised me. Endless of them and they reached a point they couldn't stand me too."
My fingers clutched the fabric of my dress tightly at my thighs. "I yearned to please both my parents. I thought that by being the best I could earn their love."
I felt a prickling sensation by my eyes. "But that didn't matter. Learning to speak five different languages, condoning myself like a lady, singing, dancing, graduating as valedictorian in my all girl high school meant nothing to them."
I turned away from mama and my voice cracked with the question I was about to ask. "Do you want to know how I know they didn't love me?"
My hands unclenched. I stretched my fingers against one of my thighs. "At eighteen I collapsed in the bathroom. I thought it was me not eating properly." I twined my fingers, refusing to look at the painting. "The last nanny had left and my mother thought it was a waste to hire someone else to take care of me."
"I overheard them, my parents, arguing about me. I burdened them with my existence. All because I wasn't born a boy."
I bit my lip, unsure how to continue. "You see boys had more advantages than girls. Boys didn't have to worry about raising a family. They were stronger, better paid and had more opportunities." I paused. "I guess I can see where they're coming from. Maybe if I was a boy I wouldn't have gotten sick, right?"
Finally, I looked up at mama. "I wouldn't have gotten leukemia."
Tears slipped freely from my eyes. "I would still be with them, right?"
My hands came to my face. "But then you didn't care if I was born a girl. You still loved me. And daddy, he loves me."
I buried my weeping face in my hands. Hunching over, I let myself cry. "He's suppose to be a monster," I said in between sobs. "Yet he loves the both of us."
"Why? Why did you love me?" I couldn't calm myself down. "Why does he love me?"
The truth was right before my death, in my last life, my mother revealed the blight I was. I was the reason Sir hardly came home. The woman who bore me had no other choice but to look for love elsewhere. My parents were unhappily married because I didn't turn out to be a boy.
"And you and daddy love me for me."
I could hear footsteps pounding against the marble floor. They were heading toward me. Was I crying that loud? Wiping furiously at my face, I glanced at mama. "He's not going to be around for long." I didn't have to confess who was in great danger.
Something terrible was going to happen to daddy and if it did, I was going to be alone.
The doors flew open. Wind gusted into the room, wrapping around me. I closed my eyes as long arms encircled me. A warm chest pressed against my cheek.
"My sweet Kyyra, what is wrong?" my father asked me softly.
"You... were.. gone," I sobbed into his chest.
"I'm right here now." His large hand brushed tenderly through my hair.
"Stay," I cried.
I knew what I had to do. Although this world had immensely changed, there were certain events that would inevitably occur. Yuki's birth. Rido's attempt to kill her. Him getting severely wounded and his long absence from my life. The factor that remained shrouded in mystery was the life of Kaname or my grandfather.
"I'm right here," my father kept crooning as he stood up with me in his arms. He began to walk back and forth, one large hand was rubbing tenderly on my back. His other hand cradled my small head. "I'm here."
I would save him, damn the consequences.
I wasn't going to give up a person who loved me because his love for me was my humanity.
And his love for mommy was what prevented him from becoming a monster.
OoO
Dinner was unusual for me because what happened earlier. It took a while for Rido to calm me down and even when he did, I refused to let him leave my side. The cruel fact that someday he wasn't going to be with me -I was going to parentless- hit me like a thousand needles stabbing my whole body.
To anyone, dying would be the worst thing.
To me, being lonely, was the worst.
Ejin sat across from me. He looked lost in thought as he placed his chin on one folded hand. The delicious food didn't seem to appeal to him.
"Should we tell her?" he asked a question to my father. His brows raised high on his head. "Kyyra will eventually learn the news."
I looked between both purebloods. I didn't say anything as I waited to hear what either of them wanted to reveal.
"You have a way to ruining the peace between us," Rido remarked. He took his time to sip his glass of red wine. His dark eyes flickered to Ejin morosely.
"Aw, come on. She will have to learn about the ball."
"Ball, what ball?" I finally said. I sat up straighter in my seat, looking at my dad expectantly.
My father leaned forward in his seat. Putting his hands together, his dark eyes landed on me. "The Aido family are hosting a ball in our honor. They want you to become acquainted with the vampire society." His voice came out as a low growl. A chill went down my spine. "It will be a great opportunity for you to meet other children your age."
My hands fisted into balls under the table. If we went to the ball, something was going to change.
I bit my bottom lip before asking, "Are they going to be there, daddy?"
He didn't withdraw his hands. "Most likely, yes."
That meant the person who was going to hurt Rido was going to be there. Kaname Kuran.
"Don't go."
"Well, that's the problem, my dear little niece," Ejin playfully pitched in. "We can't decline the invitation, especially since it is in our honor."
"No," I said. "It's easy to say."
"We already confirmed the invitation. We are going." Dad's tone was final.
I bit my lip hard to stop myself from disrespecting him. Ejin just laughed.
Daddy made my job of protecting him harder.
OoO
We were back in our room. Dad was by his chair, the one that pointed directly at mama's painting. I sat on the bed. It was rare for daddy to sleep. He commented that sleeping wasn't the same without mama by his side. I agreed. Nothing was the same without her.
"Daddy, aren't you going to sit down?"
The man chuckled low in his throat while slightly shaking his head. "Sweet Kyyra, go to sleep."
I pouted. "I can't."
"You can. You've done it before."
Stubbornly, my head moved side-to-side. "Not tonight. I keep thinking about earlier."
Slowly, he moved from the chair to the bed. He sat down on the mattress, his long legs sprawling out. His handsome face looked at me. I waited for him to put out his hands and when he did, I jumped on top of him, giggling that I got his full attention.
He chuckled again while positioning me on his lap. I loved making him happy.
He tucked me under his chin, his arms cradling me, making me feel loved and safe.
"Kyyra, honey, are you going to tell your daddy why you cried earlier?"
My happiness dimmed and my small hands clutched his arms.
"Kyyra?"
I shook my head, my long hair swayed fiercely with my movement.
He leaned his forehead on the crown of my head. "I wish you can tell me what made you sad."
The one thing that frightened me most was him getting hurt. Attending the ball was the trigger that would begin everything.
"Can't the world be ours?" I finally asked him in my childish tone. "Just you, mama and me."
"The world is ours."
"No," I said. There were people out there that could still hurt us. If only I wasn't a four-year little girl I could be powerful enough to prevent everything.
"I don't want to lose you," I confessed bowing my head. Rido pulled away from me, his arms unwrapping around me. He repositioned my small body on his lap while giving me a confused expression.
"Who said that to you?"
I refused to glance at him. My lips trembled.
"Did your uncle say anything because if he did so help him right now."
He was on the verge on rising to his feet when I desperately clutched onto him. "I don't want you to go to the party. I can't lose you like mama."
I could feel it in my bones. The events in Vampire Knight might have changed due to mama's presence but him bringing back Kaname confirmed everything. Somehow the tide would turn against us.
He was rubbing my back and patting my head affectionately. "Nothing is going to happen to me, honey. I'm right here."
"Not the party," I kept saying again and again.
"If it'll make you feel better, I will be with you the whole time at the party." His words did make me feel a little better. At least with him in my eyesight, I would be reassured.
"Okay," I eventually conceded.
He pulled back, his lips tilting upward. "Your mama would be excited. She'll definitely start planning on what dresses you can wear."
I giggled and put a hand to my mouth to stifle it. I nodded.
"Do you have a dress in mind?"
In my previous life I would never get ecstatic over dressing up but since mama used to love making me wear frilly dresses I didn't mind. "A pink dress."
Dad laughed, the sound infectious. I was laughing along with him. "That sounds like a great start."
"Yep," I agreed with him.