Ben's full weight continued to sink into her her small frame. He labored to regain his breathing and control the involuntary shakes that quaked from head to toe. Rey was deep in thought, her fingers weaving and pulling through his messy hair, sensing and feeling, soothing the waves of chaotic emotions that that crashed inside of him. The energy reminded her of the sudden and violently powerful sandstorms on Jakku, storms that would black out the sun. She had never thought of the blistering desert sun and blue skies as happy, until without warning the wind would transform from mild and calm to deep rumbling gusts, sending every living creature scattering to find shelter. As a child she would huddle in a corner of her AT AT, squeezing her eyes tight and covering her ears, desperately trying to drown out the sounds of the screaming winds, flinching from the banging of debris that struck the surfaces of her shelter.
Desperate, paralyzed with terror, falling into the grip of powerlessness, the sounds coming out of her were of a wild animal.
She would cry and scream with the storm; with it, at it, in spite of it. Until there was nothing left, just her mouth soundlessly open. Years later she would sit in the same corner, calmly staring forward, surrendering to the chaos and power, allowing her mind to flow with it, letting her fear melt away by telling the universe that she was one with it's will. It was always the same, the sand would ebb and flow with the storm, and when the sun would break through the clearing, the dunes would be smooth and rippled as before.
Rey was no longer afraid of the storms, or the storm within him.
Tilting his head to meet her eyes, he searched her expression mournfully, filled with shame.
"Rey-"
"Shhhhh...." returning his gaze she was lovingly serious, until his eyes sparkled with welling tears.
His thick arms, muscles hardened from years of self loathing disguised as training, slid under and around her, pulling tightly against his sweaty hot skin. She could feel his pulse on the surface of his skin, hear it in her ears, as he released a flood of darkness and tears. Like the desert storms, he let it wash over her, through her, and while it did not hurt, it left her changed like the sand. Still beautiful and glistening from the blinding jakku sun, but transformed.
This was how it would always be, this push and pull, ebb and flow, eternally bound.
"How can you love what I have shown you?"
"How could I not?"
She spoke with such solid truth, it confused him totally.
"Rey-I am not a man that can be loved."
"But you are loved."
He shook his head, his hair grazing her stomach sending an electric tingle up her chest.
"You do not believe you are worthy of love, but you are. You told me to let the past die, take your own advice."
Without pause, his mouth covered hers again, and again she gave into the hungry mournful searching of his tongue, his lips, and his mind. Spreading her legs, she reached down guiding his cock against her wetness, pulling him inside again. It was like being in the calm center of a cyclone, all of the raging thoughts suspended, timelessly staring into each other.
Struggling to find the words, Ben managed to speak slowly, "Rey...Why can't I....why is it like this...." letting out a groan he felt his body involuntarily stretch deeply into her, like he was unraveling and expanding through her, around her, rapidly and uncontrollably accelerating.
Rey's eyes widened from surprise, swallowing hard trying to contain the unpredictable rush of pleasure, she gasped out, "I don't know, but don't stop. I want to stay right here...right here forever."
It felt like a thundering scorching heat, a rushing current of electricity. Like being torn open to a beating throbbing energy full of light and wrapped in a cape of blackness. His body continued to flow into her, giving her his consuming hunger, tapping into an inexplicable and endless source of multiplying love and acceptance. Rey could feel it pulling from her, drawing it out like the endless black vacuum in space.
The pleasure was so intense it bordered on pain, and as he recognized it, the curtain began to fall behind his eyes again, and she could feel his body and mind release from it's restraint. His thrusts were so powerful, it felt like he was grinding her into dust. Meeting him with the same strength and uninhibited desire, it felt like claws piercing and digging into every inch of their bodies, like sharing each of their senses, sharing their blood. Like driving toward a climax that would never satiate them, both wanting to stay in that state of heightened euphoria for eternity.
There was an eerie creeping energy that had begun to float through their surroundings, seeping out into the corridors of the ship. The personnel began to glance back and forth, sensing the ominous mood. The storm was gathering strength and momentum, and while their enemies were plotting to overthrow them, something so supernatural and inconceivable, something the universe had never seen and could never thwart, was being cultivated behind their closed door.