My head was killing me and so was that weird sound. I didn't know where it was coming from but it sounded really close. When I tried to roll over onto the other side, the sound stopped and I felt someone peck the top of my head and that's when I got scared. The pillow felt different; hell, it wasn't even a pillow that I was lying on, it was someone's chest. A beautiful chest nonetheless but my eyes refused to stay open. My pillow was moving and then it hit me that the sound that I was hearing was the sound of someone snoring. At this point, I was really freaked out because I couldn't remember getting into bed last night, let alone getting into bed with someone else. I lay there trying to think of an escape plan but couldn't think clearly. Maybe this was just a dream, so I squeezed my eyes and counted to ten thinking that when I opened my eyes I'd be back in my room. But no, I was still in someone else's bed and still couldn't remember what happened last night after dinner with Macy, Brian and Xavier. I was pretty sure that I hadn't met anyone else last night after dinner.
"I know you're awake Harper," a voice that I knew all too well said. I lay there stock still because there was no way that I could be in bed with Xavier who for some unknown reason sounded like he was trying not to laugh.
I took a deep breath but kept my eyes squeezed shut before answering, "I'm not awake?" Which ounces more like a question than an answer.
Xavier let out a little laugh, that I refused to find cute. "Okay Sleeping beauty, I think I better let you know that your little hand action is causing some stirring that you'll feel pretty soon. I don't think you're ready for our little friend to join the party again so soon sweetheart."
'Sweetheart', was I missing something here. Since when did Xavier start calling me 'Sweetheart'. Maybe I really am dreaming; and then I felt it. My eyes bulged and I looked up at Xavier and my mind finally registered that my hand was on Xavier's little friend, who wasn't so little anymore. How my hand ended up there I don't know but I instantly let go of it and pushed myself away from Xavier and I got the third shock of my life that morning. Xavier was naked and so was I. I looked down and saw that my upper body was bare and when I heard a groan I turned to Xavier who's eyes were on said naked upper body and my stupid body reacted, and I felt a sudden tightening in my breast. I grabbed the blanket and covered my body while moving over to the other end of the bed not quite believing my eyes at what I was seeing. As I moved further away from Xavier the blanket followed and more and more of Xavier's naked form came into view. I swear my eyes were wide saucers by then. Xavier's friend was huge and it looked like it was ready to attack me. I knew I looked like a fish with my eyes bulging and my mouth opening and closing trying to catch my breath because it was my first time to see a naked human being, and the appendage in question kept growing. How the hell was that even possible?
Xavier's laugh broke me out of my staring contest with little Xavier. I looked up and saw him smiling widely at me. I just knew that my face was the same colour as a beetroot, but this was a totally new experience for me.
"It's okay sweetheart, he just misses you and like I said, I don't think you're ready for him after last night. Now come here," Xavier said as he sat up waiting for me to get closer to him but I couldn't get my eyes off of little Xavier who moved with him.
"Last night," I squeaked. "What happened last night?" At my question Xavier's eyes furrowed and looked at my face for something but I don't know what. I think he saw the confusion in them because his whole demeanour changed.
He grabbed a pillow sitting next to him and placed it over his little big friend. I felt like I could finally breathe again when he did that. Xavier looked a whole lot more serious when he asked, "Harper, tell me what you remember about last night?"
"I remember having dinner and drinking wine, too much wine if you ask me with Macy." I concentrated more about last nights events as Xavier sat quietly watching, waiting for my next course of action. I stared back at him and then I almost choked. I remembered coming home last night after asking Xavier to ravish me. I could literally die of mortification. Then more of last nights events came back to me. I remember being overly chatty with Xavier last night and telling him that he was the sexiest human being I had ever met and that he was my first kiss and then I remember asking him if he'd like to be my first. Holy shit! I am such a slut. I practically forced Xavier to take my virginity. I felt my throat clog up and started hyperventilating. I lost my virginity last night to Xavier. I can't believe I slept with Xavier. Everything came crashing into me at once. Him telling me that I was too drunk and me telling him that I wasn't. I remember him taking me to my room and me sneaking back into his room and getting into bed with him. And then I leant over and kissed him and him kissing me back. Macy is going to kill me.
"Harper, calm down okay. Just breathe," Xavier said sounding panicked. How the hell can he be so calm when I practically forced him to sleep with me.
I burst into tears. I felt so ashamed. Here I was, thinking that I've finally gotten over my stupid crush on him and I literally forced him into having sex with me.
"I'm so sorry Xavier. I don't know why I'd do that to you but I never meant to force you to sleep with me," I mumbled crying into the palm of my hands.
Xavier lifted me like a rag doll and forced me to straddle his waist trying to pry my hands away from my face; but I was a sobbing mess.
"Sweetheart it's fine. You didn't force me to do anything, so stop blaming yourself. I had a wonderful time last night. We both did."
At this point I was hysterical. Why would he lie and say that he enjoyed himself. I know he hated every second of it.
I must have said it out loud because Xavier finally managed to pry my hands away and forced me to look into his piercing blue eyes.
"Harper, calm down and take a deep breath and listen to me. You never forced me to do anything and I mean it when I say I enjoyed it. I would actually go as far and say that last night was one of the best nights of my life and it was all because of you. I wanted it to happen as much as you did." He sounded so truthful but I refused to believe him. I knew he was lying. I know that there is no way that Xavier could ever be attracted to me.
I cried silently as Xavier wrapped his arms around me and laid my head in the crook of his neck as I sobbed quietly. I was so embarrassed.
"Don't cry sweetheart," Xavier whispered in my ear over and over again as his hands rubbed my back. Every time he called me sweetheart made me sob even louder and my embarrassment skyrocket.
It felt like hours before I was able to calm down and our position finally registered in my mind. Here I was stark naked with a blanket only covering my upper body while straddling Xavier who had a pillow covering his lower body.
"You okay now Sweetheart?"
"It's Harper, and yes thank you for being understanding despite the situation Xavier. I know I'm not exactly what men want but thank you for last night and this morning. I better get going because Macy should be here soon."
I tried to move away from Xavier but he kept me in place. I looked up at him and he looked pissed off. This scared me because I didn't know what he'd say or do. I felt myself start to shake, waiting for what he'd do next. I didn't know that I had covered my face until Xavier pried my hands away. This time he looked worried.
"Harper, I know I haven't been the best guy when it comes to you and for that I'm sorry. I've said some really ugly things that I'm ashamed of but what I regret the most is telling you that you're not pretty enough or worthy enough for any man, because looking at you right now with your hair all tasseled and your face all puffy you couldn't look any more beautiful. I wish I could go back in time and tell you how beautiful you are from the start instead of filling that pretty little head of yours with words that are untrue. I had the best night with you last night Harper and I would like if we could try and see where this would go."
I have been waiting for 8 months to hear those very words come from Xavier's mouth but I feel in my heart that that ship has long since sailed. I have forgiven Xavier for everything he's said and done the past few months but I find it hard to forget.
"I'm sorry Xavier, I think it's better if we just forget this ever happened and move on."
It was quiet for a long moment before Xavier answered, "I understand where you're coming from Harper but I'm going to prove to you that we can work things out."
I just looked up at him as he stared down at me with a hint of a smile and a look of determination but I just brushed it off. I finally managed to disentangle myself from Xavier and stood with the blanket firmly wrapped around me.
"I'll return your blanket once it's washed. Bye," I said with embarrassment lacing my time of voice.
"Don't bother wash it. I rather like the smell of you on that blanket," Xavier challenged with a smirk.
I swear my face was the colour of a volcanic eruption because I did not know how to respond to that; so I just booked it out of his room and into mine. I slammed the door with my foot and fell against the door with the blanket still wrapped tightly around me and finally breathed a sigh of relief. I ran to my ensuite and turned on the shower and as it ran I stood in front of the mirror.
I looked like a bloody train wreck. My eyes looked red and puffy, my hair was a mess and my lips were swollen. What really shocked me though was the amount of love bites around my neck and above the swell of my breasts. How the hell was I going to explain that Macy?
I dropped the blanket and saw that I even had love bites on the inside of my thighs. Like holy shit, what the hell did Xavier and I get up to. Had I really lost my virginity to my best friends older brother. I found my watch sitting on the sink and saw that I had at least twenty minutes before Macy arrived so I had to get myself cleaned up. I think I was going to have a harder time trying to cover up the evidence that Xavier left from last night.
******
I had just finished blow drying my hair when Macy burst into my room with a brown bag and two large cups of hot chocolate.
"Hangover cure for last night girl," Macy said in a singsong voice placing the bag and cups of hot chocolate on my dresser.
I turned around to face her and her eyes zeroed in on my neck which I never got around to cover and her eyes almost fell out of their sockets.
"Oh my god Harper, what's that on your neck?" She asked already approaching trying to pry my hands out of the way.
"I tripped and hit my neck?" I answered making it sounded more like a question than an answer.
"You tripped. Come on Harper, you're killing me here. Did you meet someone last night?" She said getting excited and jumping up and down.
I looked down, "I slept with Xavier," I mumbled quickly.
"What, who did you sleep with?"
"I slept with Xavier," I mumbled a little louder.
"Wait...did you just say you slept with Xavier?"
I just nodded my head and waited for her reaction.
"Shit Harper, I told you there was something going on between the both of you. Are you alright? He was good to you? If he wasn't I swear to god I'll castrate him, brother or not!"
I couldn't help but laugh at Macy and how loyal she was.
"Calm down Macy, he was good and let's not talk about it because I'm still trying to get over it myself. Who knew that in less than a week I'd have my first kiss and first everything. But let's just leave it for now and get my things in the car because the agent should be waiting at the apartment now with the keys."
"Okay, but you better fill me in before the end of the day Harp."
"Yea, yea, now let's get a move on."