Michael's POV
This isn't the first time I've found Ashton like that. Covered in his own blood with his wrists gashed open from his own attack. This time was harder though. He was completely unconscious this time and I just knew I'd be attending a funeral in a few days instead of just fixing what's been broken. What Luke's mom did was completely unnecessary. Ashton isn't the kid in those police reports, he's a different person now.
I've watched him change into a better person since he moved in with me and since Luke. Ashton is definitely someone that runs away from things but I think all the running finally led him to something he needed. It's the best feeling to watch your best friend morph into a happier person but it's the worst feeling to find them clinging onto life in your bathtub.
I haven't been able to leave Ashton's side since he was put in this room and I have no intentions to leave. My mom left a few minutes ago to get coffee, leaving me with my unconscious best friend. Did he actually think I'd be better off without him? There's no way in hell I would be okay if Ashton was no longer in my life.
The doctors said he'd wake up on his own soon but I'm growing impatient. I want him awake so I know he's alive and still with me. His wrists are under thick bandages with stitches holding them together. They weren't as bad as initially thought but he lost a lot of blood. I hate that he did this and I hate that I didn't prevent it.
Crying is my least favorite thing to do in this whole world but seeing Ashton like this and knowing he will probably never be the same, is killing me. My hands furiously wipe away the tears but it's no use. I put my head against the mattress of this stupid hospital bed to catch a sob but I can't stop the shaking sobs that do escape. I hate him for this but I love him so damn much. He's like my fucking brother and without him I'm alone.
"You never were pretty when you cried Michael." A small voice sounded from above me and I snapped my tear stained face up to see an awake Ashton.
"Ash?" I tried to say but it came out more like a sob.
"What happened Mikey?" He asked and looked around the room. His face was pale and his eyes looked too big for his face. He looked exhausted.
"You-you uh..." I stammered and tried to wipe away the remaining tears.
"Oh no Mikey I'm so sorry." His voice cracked with emotion when he caught on.
"It's okay Ash, it's okay because you are going to be just fine." I said and scooted closer to him. I watched a tear slide down his cheek and he opened his arms for me. I obliged and rested my head against the older boys chest.
"I love you so much Mikey. I thought you didn't need me but I know in my heart you do. I was just so angry." His voice was again strangled by emotion. I let out a small sob.
"I love you too Ashton. You are my brother, of course I need you." I looked up to my teary eyed best friend.
"He hates me doesn't he." His face twisted into a pained expression at the mention of Luke.
"He doesn't hate you Ash." I said and looked towards the door. Luke has been sitting outside the door since last night. He had to come to the hospital to get his hand cleaned up and luckily the wound wasn't deep enough to need stitches. I told him he could come in once Ash was awake, if Ashton even wanted to see him.
"I messed everything up and I saw the hatred in his eyes Mikey." He said with his lip quivering.
"No, just hang on." I stood up and hurried over to the door to get Luke. The exhausted tear stained boy was sitting against the wall and I waved him into the room.
When he saw Ashton the tears were streaming again. Ashton looked the same at Luke but neither was saying a word.
Luke's POV
I've been siting against this walk for hours and my butt is beyond numb. I promised myself and Ashton that I wouldn't leave this spot until I saw him. I had to come have my hand checked out just as precaution but that didn't take nearly enough time.
What if I lost him? What if Ashton was gone and the last thing I said to him was hateful? I told him to go and I didn't even mean it I was just overwhelmed. I couldn't even face my mom anymore because of what she did. That's not Ashton not the Ashton I've fallen in love with.
The door clicked open revealing a drained looking Michael. He waved me into the room and I followed until I saw Ashton. He was pale and hooked up to wires with his wrists bandaged up. I couldn't stop the tears that were coming now and I moved slowly towards the bed.
"Luke." Ashton said then tried to stop a sob. He looked so sad and so tired but I wanted to touch his hands. The hands that I always played with and held mine so tightly.
"Ash." I sniffled.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered. It wasn't his fault. All anger towards him disappeared when I realized that's not who he is and he has every right to not want that stuff in his life anymore.
"No I'm the one that should be sorry Ash, I never should have told you to go." I said and took a seat next to the bed, taking his hand in mine. The other wounded hand reached up to cup my cheek. His thumb attempted to wipe away a tear but he winced at the pain. His palm remained against my cheek and his hazel eyes burned into my blue ones.
"I love you Luke Hemmings. I've loved you since the first time you told me my voice sounded funny. I've been falling in love with you more and more everyday and that terrifies me. I'm not good enough for you and how could you ever love someone like me? I should've told you everything and I will one day but none of that mattered anymore because I had you. I couldn't have left you even though I tried. You are the one thing I can't run away from." Ashton confessed and I reached up to wipe away some tears.
"I love you too Ashton." I managed to say before a sob caught up to me. Ashton pulled me into his chest and I know my tears were soaking his hospital gown but neither of us could let go now. The morning sun was shining through the blinds and Sunday was upon us.
"Can I call wake you up on a Sunday." Ashton sang in a whispering voice and I let out a small laugh.
There's just some people you can't be without.
...
2 days later.
"Mom have you seen my new guitar picks?" Michael shouted on his way up the stairs.
Ashton was able to come home from the hospital yesterday but unfortunately the rest of us had to go back to school. Michael, Calum and I nearly killed one another getting home yesterday after school to get to Ashton. He's not going back to school until tomorrow but tomorrow night is our gig, which is why we are at Mikey's about to rehearse.
"Are you sure your wrists are up for this Ash?" I asked while I continued to tune my new electric guitar. The three of us went Sunday afternoon to pick out new equipment while Ashton rested.
He was still mopey and tired but he seems to get better everyday. I've been over nearly every second just making sure he's okay. My bosses at the movie theater gave me the week off because I told them I had a family emergency and Ashton's gave him the week off too to recover from his "illness."
"Yeah I'll be fine Lukey. I would hate to give up an opportunity to play on these babies." He smirked and gestured to the drum kit he was sitting at. I shook my head and tried to get everything in tune with Cal.
"Okay I found them, let's get going on this rehearsal guys." Michael came running back down the stairs and grabbed up his guitar.
"Out of My Limit?" Calum asked and we all nodded at him. I turned back to Ashton and he his his drumsticks together.
"1,2,3,4!" He shouted and we all began to play.
Every now and then I would look back to see Ashton playing his heart out. This is how he should be, happy. Not upset enough to kill himself. I am nothing without him.
"I love you." He mouthed quickly when he caught me staring. I rolled my eyes with a smirk and continued on with the song.
If he only knew how much I truly loved him. It's amazing to me how love can hit you like a freight train and there is no turning back.
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I cried writing this! But I promise the worst of the sadness is over
I really enjoy putting my heart into this story. It's so fun to write. I think I will try to write a double today just for you guys!
I love you all for reading this. Keep up the votes an comments
Until I update again :)