CHAPTER TWENTY ONE- Just label me.
My whole world could be described in one simple word. Revision. Attending every single revision session there was during the lunch hour and staying up to all hours had been my life for the past week and it was all too familiar. This was like the whole of my teenage years in high school creeping back into one, I’d worked for my academic position, sleepless nights and algebra packed days I had probably at least opened every single text book there was out there.
Today, was no exception. Sitting at the back of Mr Lowry’s classroom I narrowed my eyes at the dust dancing around in the late summer sunlight that was peeking through the orange blinds that hadn’t been shut properly. The early 1800’s. He boomed in his bored and impassive tone that I had grown to hate as the seconds slipped by with such lack of haste it was surreal.
“Ashley!”
His deep voice brought me from my desolate thoughts of the way dust lingered in the air as everyone slowly turned their heads to look at me smirks rising on their lips as he crossed the aisle sauntering forwards to me his Corduroy trousers swishing together with each step.
“Would you like to head this lecture instead?”
Refraining an eye-roll I sat up in my seat straighter and poised my pen on my paper that was clearly displaying my brief notes that I suddenly felt defensive of. I knew this stuff anyway.
“No, sir.”
I echoed in another bored tone and he curtly nodded before spinning on his heel and sauntering back down the aisle having a wave of an affect as everyone slowly turned to face the front again.
“That’s what I thought. And if anyone else would like to drift off into dreamland then they can let me know and we can arrange for them to teach the class about the 1800’s instead. Do I make myself clear?”
He questioned getting a low murmur of ‘Yes sir’‘s and nods.
After about another ten minutes I was again, bored out of my mind and could not concentrate for my life. Tapping my pen on the wood of the desk I let my mind go elsewhere. I scolded myself as my eyes kept landing on the track on the other side of campus. It was barely visible from here, a blur of white lines dipping in and out around the red tarmac as a bob of heads covered the ground sprinting across. That used to be me. I kept on gazing down at my white lace up plimsolls and debating whether they’d be good enough to run in for a few minutes, I had this sudden urge, craving even, to run again. The feeling of the burning tarmac through the soles of my shoes and the sun splashing the athletics department heavily causing sweat to rise on your brow as you covered distance by the split second.
My prayers were answered as the bell rung and I swiftly scooped up my pencil case, ramming it into my bag and sauntering straight out and spilling into the busy halls. Giving a few people I merely knew the names of smiles I pushed my way through to the doors at the end of the corridor. It was then, that I saw her.
Sophie Arts.
And of course, right by her side, was Jasmine Fields. Jasmine and I, went back a few months before Sophie. Jasmine was a quiet girl, with bright red hair and geeky glasses that she had appeared to have ditched now, a porcelain complexion and a curvy frame she was needless to say, a pretty girl. Although, she was more cute, than anything. With her tiny button nose and other small features and little Alice bands. We had met at a photography class, I, as always, went on my own; it wasn’t that I didn’t have friends. It was just that sometimes, it’s nice to do things on your own, nobody to depend on or rather, nobody to depend on you. Jasmine, was on her own too, but clearly she was ready to change this. She seemed weary of me at first, I was the year above her and the ‘it’ girl if you please, Ellie had just made her breakthrough and was determined to bring me with her, I was unwilling amerced in her gleeful limelight and by then, word had spread. And I, gained the name of, That Dawson sister. I couldn’t say that it bothered me, it didn’t exactly intrigue me either, I never did crave fame, but I got it anyway. Marching right up to me, she gave me an un-even smile her shiny pink lip gloss glinting against the lights. “Hi.” She had said sticking out her hand for me to shake. “I’m Jasmine, Jasmine Fields, and you’re Ashley Dawson, right?” She wasn’t anything special, just another aspiring photographer that I was a little better off than, she wasn’t amazing, neither was she bad. To be fair.
Jasmine and I reached a friendship of understanding. We weren’t best friends but we were good friends, if you were supposed to class friends like this. I was kind of her ticket to places and people, all the high end photographers, the best mentors and the best cocktail parties. The friendship was going well and all, and that was until I met Sophie. Sophie was a tall and slender girl with long black hair and piercing grey eyes. At first, we highly dis-liked each other, everything was fine before she arrived and everyone knew their place, I was what you could call the head girl, everyone knew me, partially because of my sister, although, I didn’t go for the classic, the normal, I worked alone. I was at school to get an education, not to have a social gathering. Despite this, I still took the hand in friendship of many people but I always kept friendships at an arm’s length, and understanding of that we were close, while not being too far. Because in a society like this one, it’s always nice to have a few contacts and to get along with everyone really, it just makes everything a lot smoother.
Sophie, was not having this, she had been the ‘head girl’ at her school, although she was a lot bitchier than me. Transferring from Sussex she was adamant that everything and everyone should adapt to make her London experience the same if not similar to her Sussex life. She crashed in breaching all social barriers and immediately making it clear that she was not be messed with, she was the one who messed things up, not anyone else, she was the one who dished out the dirt and never took any herself. It was clear we clashed too; she was sporting a red and black pleated mini with black platforms and a white lacy blouse. Whereas I, was in my standard light wash jeans, pumps, Abercrombie t-shirt and navy Zara blazer. My blonde curls reached my waist and my make-up was noticeable yet natural, my nails painted a sweet coral colour. I remember the day so clearly it’s surreal. Her dark hair was piled into a very high pony-tail not a strand out of place and her eye-liner was thick underneath her eyes and her mascara was slightly clumpy, light bronzer was more than a dusting over her olive skin tone and her jewellery was chunky and big and her nails a sheer black.
It was a collage visit day that she first made her appearance. I remember walking down the crème and red halls and watching as everyone silenced themselves as she burst through the doors a snapback on her head that she placed on some geeky guy’s head with a smirk as her heels clacked against the tiles. She had her gaze locked with mine, her expression set in cool, hard and impassive. I remember how everyone slowly turned to look at me, eyes widening as they watched before their very eyes the clashing of the head girls. The football players were rowdy a few blocks behind me and I knew that Luke was with them and it was his whisper last that spoke as everything fell into an eerie silence. As she got closer, it seemed so did Luke and his mates, a football between his forearm and hip he bit his lip as he made his way up behind me but I kept my back to him and my expression bitchy at Sophie as she hastily reduced distance.
It was weird, what had happened back then and it was filled with so much bitchiness it was almost surreal how in the midst of it all, we became friends. I expected it to be how my in-school friendships always were, at an understanding and kept at arm’s length or sometimes even further. But Sophie had other ideas. She wanted to do everything together, the real best friends’ thing, I had Faye for that though, Faye, never did like Sophie and looking back maybe I can see why. I had other friends, why I didn’t walk away when I saw her true colours still perplexed me to this day but I suppose it always would, some things about myself, I never would understand and maybe that’s for the best. Of course, a year of friendship went straight down the plughole when a rumour sprouted that I had slept with her boyfriend, fat chance. I may have been head girl but that definitely didn’t mean I was a whore. No, I wasn’t. In fact I was far from it, I was well raised in a good family and taught right from wrong, I never touched drugs, had a drag from a cigarette and most definitely, did not sleep around, or slept with at anyone at all.
Now, I was truly shocked to see her face again after so many years of believing the same high school bullshit. Her signature platforms were still present the click-clacking beginning to silence the halls as Jasmine walked beside her, they were both looking at me and I got a sense of déjà vu of the day I met Sophie. It was if everything was repeating itself, folding itself back into one as some high school re-run reunion. The crowds slowly split and before I knew it I was left in the middle and Sophie had a clear catwalk towards me. I hadn’t heard much about her since we stopped being ‘friends’ but I assumed she was surprised by what I had become; I guess everyone was, including me.
I just looked at her, daring her to say something, take a blow, a word, a punch, just hit me. Because now, I wasn’t scared. She didn’t scare me, I had dealt with many cold faced bitches in the past year and she wasn’t even the worst.
“Bitch.”
She hissed as she passed bumping my shoulder as she did so. I almost smirked at that, that this was all she was going to say, bitch. Pathetic. I decided the only way to make this seemingly entertaining for myself was to sink to her level so I turned around, a hundred pairs of eyes watching me as I came square with her again. My binder hugged to my chest I licked my lower lip before taking in her appearance.
“Whore.”
I fired dismissively and I heard a low ripple of oooh’s surge through the sea of students. This was so high school times, you wouldn’t believe this was a high class London collage.
“What did you just say, Ashley?”
Sophie took a step closer as Jasmine just stood there, flustered by the whole ordeal.
“I said,” I smirked in an impassive and calm tone. “If I’m a bitch, then you’re a whore.”
For a moment she was silent, clearly dumbfounded by my retort, I never used to do this.
“You slept with my boyfriend, cow. I have every right to call you a bitch.”
“Awh are you still crying over that now? You see, it’s funny because in all of this, I still win because you’re the naïve one for believing that. I didn’t sleep with your boyfriend Sophie. But you can believe what you want, call me what you want. Because now, however far up the social ladder you think you are, I’m always one step higher. Because I’m not naïve.”
She just stared at me and Jasmine was now chewing on her nails, not even backing Sophie up as she stood there and watched this scene play out in front of her.
“That’s…Pathetic Ashley.”
“At least Ashley’s not a naïve whore who still believes high school bull shit. Somebody shoved your tampon up a little bit too far aye Sophie?!”
Someone shouted from the crows. The air seemed to get a little bit denser, tainted with tension and embarrassment Sophie’s cheeks heated up and after one more scowl in my direction she turned on her heel, motioning for Jasmine to come with her. I just stood there, watching her slender frame stumble away and around the corner as everyone began to subside back into their groups, going back to their everyday business, knowing that this few minutes that Sophie and I had hurtled bitter and short retorts at each other, would be the talk for the next few days.
Satisfied with this I hugged my binder against my chest more as I made my way to the end of the corridor and onto the courtyard. I could see Sophie and Jasmine on the bench where I used to sit with Sophie and rolled my eyes as I set myself down on the concrete the bricks warm against my back. I spread my legs out in front of me and brought my packet of dried apricots from my bag. I sucked in some air as I ripped the packet open shoving the tasteless fruit in-between my lips as I watched everyone around me. I chewed for a while before swallowing it down and moving onto the next one. After three whole ones I was growing sick of it and un-capped my Vitamin water taking a long gulp. Apparently I need it, vitamin water, this, is recommendations from Niall, if I can’t bring myself to eat anything fat bearing then I should at least take some vitamins to keep me balanced until we’re together again and he can monitor me and my habit’s properly. I wasn’t looking forward to this, there were certain things that I would prefer to keep to myself, I know what works and what doesn’t for me and explaining that to someone else is painful in more ways than one. But for lucky for him, I like vitamin water, it’s actually nice.
Concluding I could take no more of this fresh fruity alternative I brought my math textbook from my bag and began flicking through the Calculus section. Never, had I and good old Calculus got along.
Calculus is a branch of mathematics focused on limits, functions, derivatives, integrals, and infinite series. This subject constitutes a major part of modern mathematics education. It has two major branches, differential calculus and integral calculus, which are related by the fundamental theorem of calculus-
Fun.
Thankfully I did not have to find myself an excuse to not read this two page spread as my phone began blaring Niall’s ringtone.
“Hello?”
I smiled pressing the phone to my ear keen to hear Niall’s voice.
“Iya’ suga, how’s it hanging love?”
“Very funny.”
I mused rolling my eyes a smile playing on my lips.
“I know, I’m hilarious. What are you doing right now?”
“I’m at school, Nialler. Where else?”
“What…You’re on your phone during a class? Naughty-“
“It’s lunch, idiot.”
“Oh, well I do apologise that I don’t have your timetable. Who are you with?”
“What is this, 20 questions?”
“Yup.”
I nodded, although he couldn’t see me.
“Nobody. I’m revising for my math exam tomorrow.”
I informed him and there was a silence followed by a few muffled voices in the background and a door shutting.
“Oh, well good luck loner.”
“Shut up. You’d be on your own if you were trying to decipher Calculus.”
“What’s calculus?”
He questioned and I was a little taken aback.
“You don’t know what Calculus is?”
“Oh come on Ash, it’s not like I liked Math.”
He chuckled.
“Calculus is a branch of mathematics focused on limits, functions, derivatives, integrals, and infinite series. This subject constitutes a major part of modern mathematics education. It has two major branches, differential calculus and-“
I recited from my textbook before he cut me off.
“Yeah okay, I totally get it…Now I’m officially jealous, you’re way too smart.”
“You really think I said that off the top of my head? Niall I’m reading it out of the text book you plonker.”
“Oh…Well I wouldn’t be surprised if you weren’t.”
“Shut up.”
“You see, right now, I would say make me, but I can’t until next week.”
“I know.”
“I miss you.”
He breathed and I smiled. At this point the bell rung out signalling the beginning of seventh period and I watched as Sophie and Jasmine rose from their bench and made their way to the science block sending me daggers as they did so. I smirked shaking my head as I pulled my gaze away and back to my nails examining them for any chips.
“I miss you too. Only six more days.”
I reminded him attempting to sound chirpy as I packed my ‘lunch’ into my handbag and watched the crowds flooding the courtyard a burst of noise as they looked at me, saying nothing but smiling and then swiftly moved on inside and I was alone again.
“Six days too many.”
Niall moaned and I chewed on my lower lip keeping my phone pressed in-between my ear and shoulder as I stood up the bricks warm against my back as I slung my bag over my shoulder and made my way up the stairs to the English department.
“I know, it’ll be okay though. Look I’ve gotta go. I’ll text you later?”
I asked as I rounded the corner to the second floor and leant against the wall outside my classroom.
“Video call with me?”
He pleaded and I bit my lip as I re-ran my whole schedule for tonight in my head.
“I suppose I can fit with you in.”
I giggled.
“Awh cheers en’ babe.”
He chuckled and I smiled rolling my eyes playfully.
“No problem.”
“I’m gonna call you at half five tomorrow.”
He announced proudly and I dropped my smile.
“No you’re not. Why?”
“Because, to wish you good luck for you exams. Time zones love.”
“Oh so Ashley’s sleep gets sacrificed and yours doesn’t? Okay.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “You’ll be up anyway, we both know that. You’ll be up all night revising and then you’ll fall asleep for an hour and then you’ll wake up and start stressing out.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know you and you get stressed before well…everything.”
“Shut up. Look I’ve really gotta go now. I’ll text you later.”
“Do you really?”
He whined and I could picture him pouting.
“Yes, I really do.”
“…Okay,” He sighed. “Have a good time at school love. I love you.”
“I love you too.. Speak to you later.”
I replied and then cut off the call before he could ask any more questions or make any more remarks.
-
Later that night, I was in full on revision mode. My desk was cluttered with open textbooks, bottles of vitamin water, and un-readable notes scribbled onto crumpled paper that got more and more smeared and messy as the hours droned on and reserved fatigue began to take over my body. Every action seemed like a two hour run, gruelling exercise was just sitting here, forcing my eyes to read the text before in detail and cringe at the multiple Calculus problems occupying two and a half pages.
As if all this wasn’t enough company for my tired and fed up self my sister decided to enter and she was happy. Smiling she plonked herself down onto my bed crossing her legs as she smiled at me.
“How’s it going?”
She questioned. I lifted my head from the desk and stared at her tiredly.
“Fucking brilliant.”
I mumbled and she frowned a fraction.
“Oh. Well why don’t you take a break? Come down and have some tea or something…There’s some leftovers in the fridge for you, Pork Chops…Your favourite.”
“I don’t like them anymore.”
I murmured and she dropped her smile uneasily shifting in her space on the covers as she dragged her gaze around my room inspecting everything in great detail finally bringing her gaze back to mine.
“Ashley…”
She started and I snapped my gaze to her’s giving her a questioning look.
“What?”
“You have to eat.”
“I will soon.”
“When?”
She pushed and I refrained an eye-roll. I hate talking about this; it just aids a bitchy attitude and makes me full of snippy retorts.
“I don’t know! When my exams are over, when everything finally goes back to normal? I don’t know.”
She just looked at me taking in my recent snap and looking up at her and the tears gathering in her glassy green eyes almost made me snap. But I just couldn’t handle this, people being so on my case about it. I hadn’t eaten since the dried fruit I shoved down at lunch and now, I genuinely wasn’t hungry, I didn’t believe I should eat if I wasn’t hungry, that’s just not morally right, right? I don’t even know anymore. I just don’t think I should be forced to eat if I don’t feel hungry. And I’m drawing a line there.
“Ashley Why?”
Why. Exactly the same question Niall had asked a few weeks ago. Asking me why I did something. Like I had a reason for everything, my brain works like clockwork, logical, at least that’s what everyone thinks. But in reality, some things, I do without really thinking, like breaking up with Niall last year, of course I didn’t think ahead when I did that, it was a heat of the moment thing, I got mad about seeing him and Chelsea and the anger just overpowered thinking logically and weighing out if I’d really be able to handle it without him or not. Insanity. Since then, I’ve been no stranger to that, I lost all senses of sanity without him and only now am I beginning to regain them, now that I’m back with him. The thing is though, I’m expected to have a reason for everything, but in all reality, I really don’t.
“Just…I’m busy right now. I’m sorry Ellie.”
I reasoned leaning back in my desk chair and observing the mess in front of me.
“That makes no change then.”
She mumbled and I looked back up at her.
“What?”
I asked a fraction softer this time.
“You’re always busy Ashley. Always doing something, going somewhere, you always have someone or something more important to intend to than me. I just feel like I don’t even know you anymore. You’re just always so busy.”
I just looked at her. Taking this in. At the same time, this made all the sense, and no sense. Sure, I am busy all the time, I made it like this a while ago because I needed to, it was my way to deal with the heartbreak from not having Niall anymore. To engross myself in work to eliminate time to ponder over mine and Niall’s absence of…everything. I am always busy, I’ll give her that. But I also got a little sense of her being a bit of hypocrite, I mean she’s always busy too; all my life I’ve spent amending my life to fit her lifestyle. There were times where I wouldn’t see my own sister for months because she was so busy. I spent sixteen years fixing my life and changing my life and adapting to fit to her, dealing with not knowing who she was or what she was even doing anymore and here she was complaining that I was too busy now, and she’d only been doing it for a year. Maybe if she had been doing it for fifteen more I would be a bit more sympathetic but it wasn’t. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been busy too.
“Do you think it is or ever has been any different for me? Think about you, Ellie. You’ve always been busy, your whole life, there were times when I hardly ever saw you and I had to deal with that too, but I did it in silence. I spent my whole life living in your shadow, Oh look at Ellie she’s such a teen pop sensation blah blah blah, and now, I get a break of the fast and hectic lifestyle and yes, I’m busy, I’m away from home and living in New York. Maybe now, you know what I’ve felt like my whole life. Not fun, is it El?”
I vented and this silenced her. In fact it silenced the whole room and the only thing that was audible was the ticking of the wall clock by the window. I seemed too loud as I shifted in my chair making it creak a bit in the un-reserved silence we were sharing at this moment. Somewhere outside I could hear the distant and frequent sound of some sirens and some cats were screaming a fight somewhere near but everything seemed so tense and silent these sounds didn’t even register.
“Are you saying this is my fault? What are you trying to say Ashley? That I’m a hypocrite?”
I shrugged slamming the Calculus textbook in front of me shut, hiding all the problems I couldn’t solve, but those were math problems, not as important as real ones, yet easier to conceal. To dissolve for another day.
“Everyone’s a hypocrite Ellie. Even I am, I’m not having a go at you. I’m just saying that you’re not always the victim. It’s a two way street.”
“Ashley it’s not only me you’re hurting. You’re hurting yourself; look at what you’re doing to yourself. I’m sorry Ashley, you can tell me now that I don’t understand because I know I don’t, but how can you know you’re doing something wrong, something that’s seriously hurting you and then continue? I just don’t understand, I’m sorry, Ashley. But how can you do that?”
“It’s…It’s not that simple. But what am I doing Ellie? Exactly, what. What do you want to call it? What do you call me?”
I challenged and she was a little taken aback by my sudden proposition for her to do the thing that built me up to this in the first place, to label me, take a long hard shot at what I should be called. What I am to everyone else, to just say the word.
“Ashley I’m not going to label you like that. You’re my sister.”
“Exactly. So that’s why I want to know. I’m sorry for being blunt El, but you imply stuff but you never actually say it. What are you trying to say?”
I pushed biting my tongue to stop me from melting down right there and then.
“I…”
I raised my eye-brows and she bit her lip looking at her lap.
“I’m saying that you have an eating dis-order.”
She mumbled still looking at her lap and I didn’t say anything. Her words were barely audible but I heard them loud and clear and I didn’t like it. I’d asked her to say this and now I was willing that those words would swallow themselves into nothing again. I wasn’t comfortable with having them in the air, lingering like a bad smell. Un-easy and desolate, arid like they had no meaning when in fact they had the most meaning in the world.
“Ash…Did you hear me?”
She questioned, now getting up from her space on the bed she moved towards me placing a hand on my shoulder, when I flinched she pulled it away just leaning over me looking at me, waiting for me to say or do something. But I just sat there, with my head in my hands willing myself to not let any tears fall.
“Ashley…Do you believe me? Please tell me you realise this too?”
She pleaded; her tone was tainted with urgency as she spoke these words. Her voice cracking at each syllable she choked out.
“No,” I murmured silently, barely a whisper. “No!”
I repeated louder this time as I jerked my head up from the desk and urgently pushed back the chair I was sitting on. I pushed past her and out of my own room. I didn’t know what I was doing, I had no clue. I again, was not thinking logically, doing things in the heat of the moment.
Before any second thoughts could tamper with my hasty choice I was thrusting open the front door ignoring the weird looks from my Mother and Father as I slammed it behind me and then shoved my hands deep into the pockets of the blazer I had on as I entered the cool night air.
As I ventured further from the quiet lanes that surrounded my house and towards the town the blur of lights crossing the bridge that arced over the Thames became clearer in the distance. But I veered off to the left down a quiet-at-this-time industrial estate. I chewed on my lip not even feeling the slightest bit cold. I was just numb, and I didn’t know what with. Fear, insanity, absence from Niall? I had no idea, I just kept walking. I didn’t even have a valuable reason to be up and out at this time. I mentally slapped myself remembering I was meant to video call with Niall tonight but there was no way I was going back to Ellie just yet. It wasn’t even her fault, I just couldn’t bear to look at her and act like nothing had happened when she had told me to my face that she thinks I have an eating dis-order. I told her to, I told her to tell me what she thinks and that’s what she did. So I’m not exactly mad at her, just un-comfortable, I guess I wasn’t as ready as I thought.
To my right, light was spilling from a large garage door of many that was three quarters of the way open and there were a few men passing boxes into some crates that were being transferred into the back of a lorry. I just watched them for a moment, how everything worked so smoothly and even at three in the morning, in the cold and dark of the night, they were laughing and smiling while doing a boring and repetitive job. Maybe, it just goes to show that even the simplest activates in life, can be the most enjoyable with the right people, even at the wrong time, and in the wrong state in everyone else’s eyes. You can learn to enjoy.
One looked over at me giving me a smile. They were all wearing orange boiler suits and red snapbacks with white gloves. I almost smiled at that, uniform. The days when I had to wear it.
“Alright there love? It’s late you know. Do you work around here?”
He shouted and soon they all stopped laughing and turned to look at me. They weren’t looking down at me in anyway, they weren’t ganging up, just making conversation, waiting for an answer, like so many other people in my life, they were waiting on me, waiting for me to give them something or other or do something.
“No,” I replied a little shakily. “Just passing through.”
He nodded.
“Ah, didn’t think we’d be lucky enough to have a pretty young lady like you working with us did we boys?”
He nudged the one next to him and they all chuckled sending me waves as they got on with passing boxes between them again. I just smiled waving back as I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets and got on my way through passing through the estate.
Half an hour later and after passing through the ‘rough’ area and dropping some change into a few hats I was approaching the place I grew up. It was only now that the tears began to form properly, gone. The frame still stood tall and strong, but maybe like me, it was just good at hiding things. What was left of the windows was boarded up and there wasn’t even a door. It was all taped off with that yellow and black POLICE tape but I curled my fingers over it and lifted it up as I slid underneath. Brushing my fingers over the plastic sign I sighed inwardly as a few tears spilled down my cheeks invading my make-up.
Property of Ashley Dawson.
Was in bold on the white plastic sign that occupied the space where the door used to be. My heart sped up as I read the messy text that had been scrawled in marker pen underneath.
Not for long…
The words went in but they had no effect. Maybe I was just so used to so much drama I wasn’t even fazed anymore. But still, as I slid down the wooden wall and onto the ground I couldn’t help but feel uneasy, as if even now, in this silence, someone was watching me.
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A/N.
even the sun sets in paradise(:
omg today in tutor we had to look through all these picutres from year 6/7. Fucking cringey. I looked so different fml. so bloody embarrasing.
right literally in lessons all we're doing is watching DVDS. Food tech today we watched that disney film with the rats and bin music we watched Grease, History we weatched titanic, english we watched a modern version of MacBeth and in German we watched the german version of spongebob:s
but guys it's all gonna be okay because on my english exam I did a few weeks ago I got 44/46 marks so I should be in topset again this year as other people got between 10-30(;
omfg it's my last day of school tomorrow(y)
and when the bell goes at the end of the day we're all gonna scream and go "School's out for Summerrr!" and have a water fight(Y)
cool kids.
okay then see you tomorrow my lovelies, but I might not be uploading since I am un-decided about whether to go the end of year party that we're all having okay haha everyone's gonna be pissed and I'm gonna be there like sober is cool guys
right byee.
-Emily.