Silence. The word itself is vacuum of emotions either at the verge of breaking out or becoming nonexistent.
The trip back home was a blur. I didn't want to cry anymore. I just felt numb. I didn't feel like talking to anyone about this. Not to Andrea or anyone else. I just wanted some inner peace.
Finally, I unzipped my bag and started putting all my toiletries and other clothes back in their place. I took a shower and changed into my grey tank top and shorts, since my hair was still wet I just let it loose and decided to make a sandwich.
What I wasn't expecting was to find Adrian in the kitchen fixing himself something to eat. I cascaded my eyes downward, trying my best to avoid all kinds of communication with him, I was beyond mad at him, not for not giving me a chance to speak and then assuming the worst outcome from it.
The irony of the situation was that he had continued his relationship as well and I had said nothing about it, I had never intended to even mind whether he dated someone other despite being married to me, I was downright furious now. All his words came thrashing at me, making me feel nauseous and violated.
"You could have asked me!!"
Adrian looked up from his laptop that he had kept beside his plate. "Ailey"
" No ! Adrian I can't believe you wouldn't trust me you would just throw a tantrum without believing me? And then to top it off you had the audacity to call me a girl with no moral when you have been dating Evelyn all along and then you got all irrational just because one of your friends was a jerk".
I was seething now, but when the look in Adrian's eyes darkened, I knew I was in for big.
He turned towards the laptop, "Mr. Drew we will carry on with this in my office tomorrow, my wife needs her pills again".
The nerve of him. Wait, was he on call with someone oh dear.
Before I could ponder more on what I had done. I was pulled towards something or more like someone Adrian. "You wanna talk about what happened, fine let's talk, first of all Axcel was and never will be my friend. Second of all, how many times do I have to make it clear to you to stop meddlin— what happened to your arm? Did he do this to you?"
As much as I wanted to cry and tell him 'yes' that it was his rival who had violated me, my ego didn't allow me to show him my vulnerability, so I did the next most smartest thing I could have thought of, "Nothing happened, I walked into the wall and bruised myself, that doesn't concern you, you are right Adrian". I said, pushing his arms away, "I shouldn't meddle in your life".
"Ailey get the fu*k back here".
"No".
That was it I walked back into my room leaving him there, he can be grumpy all he wants, what happened back in Scotland can't come out in the open, you see something had happened back in Scotland.
~Flashback: Scotland~
"Axcel please don't do this, I am your friend's wife".
"Friend..." he spitted it out as if that word was venomous, the look in his eyes was horrifying, filled with disgust, "That man ruined my life Ailey, that man you call your husband, he is a tyrant, he is going to scar you like he scarred me, got so petty after losing his little baby sister, huh, no matter how much of a cold demeanor he may put he is and will always be a weakling".
His grip on my hand was making me cry tears of agony, the pain was too much, "You are not half the man he is and you never will be one". I replied struggling to get free, Axcel angrily looked at something behind me or at someone, then a devilish glint shown in his eyes and he tried to kiss me, but before that he whispered, if you try to scream, I will do exactly the same what happened to your auntie dearest.
That had made me pause, " What do you mean?"
He smiled his eyes showing all signs of insanity, "It's easy to pull off the plug of a ventilator, especially when you own the damn hospital, did I mention, your father in law, isn't well nowadays, wouldn't want him to suffer an anonymous medical reaction, that may cause an uncertain cardiac arrest would we now?"
Tears welled in my eyes, "Why are you doing this YOU SICK MONSTER!!!"
"That's what you get for breaking my dear half sister's heart, you shameless gold digger!"
"Sister ? I don't even know your sister".
" You broke her in pieces when you married Adrian, the poor girl couldn't focus on anything, my little baby sister was broken, so now you both will pay".
Now I knew he was crazy, I pushed him back with all the force I had and ran as fast as I could, behind me I could hear his words " You can run all you want Ailey, but remember one word to Adrian and you will be attending that old man's funeral, before you can even run to save him".
~End of Flashback~
What could I possibly do, if I just went to Adrian, he wouldn't trust me. And I couldn't go to Adrian regardless, what if he confronted Axcel, Mr. Vittorio wasn't out of the hospital yet, I can't bear to lose another father figure in my life. No, I had to do something, if that meant breaking my heart in the process, I would have to just be strong, I had to protect Adrian and his family, looking at the time I realized it had been an hour since I had sat there bawling my eyes out like a baby, how had I ended up in a situation like this was still beyond me.
"Ailey?"
Hearing his voice from the other side of the door broke me more, it wasn't the dark domineering voice anymore, it was the soft, calm voice, as if he had been defeated in all ways and was desperate for some kind of comfort.
"Ailey... I know you are awake. Just open the door, I..."
I wanted to open the door, I wanted to run in his arms, I wanted him to hug me, pull me close in his warm, safe embrace, but it felt like my feet were jammed to where I was standing. I turned towards the door and opened it, trying to hide my tears.
Before I could say anything, he pulled me into his embrace, that is when I realized he was reeking of alcohol, he was no doubt drunk, he held on to me tightly, his warm hands, slowly coming around me tightly, as he ran his long fingers in my hair and for once I couldn't hold it in, big, tears started falling from my eyes as I clung to his shirt. He held me close trying to save me from all the bad and that made me cry even harder.
"Ailey... shh... stop crying". He shushed me, as I pushed myself a little back and looked straight in his eyes.
He cupped my face, wiping away a traitorous tear that had slipped from my eyes. Kissing my forehead, he started talking, his voice all heavy, "You have me so confused, Ailey Vittorio, I always pegged you for the innocent girl, when Evelyn used to say you were a devil, I used to disagree, somehow even when we got married, I was cruel to you, but my heart was telling me that I did something wrong, I was hurting you, I was hurting this beautiful rose with an enormous heart, this beautiful rose, that has been, making me run in circles, round and round again, I don't know what to do, Ailey, it's like I am being drowned in quicksand and only you can save me, but on the other hand its like you are the one who also pushed me in. I don't know what to do anymore".
I was stunned, there was nothing that I had to say, nothing that could make this situation we were in better, oh Adrian if only you knew the truth, if only you knew that I was drowning in that quicksand as well, if only you knew, that I was indeed trying to save you, things would be hell lot easier.
Suddenly, he pushed me away, his eyes all red bloodshot, a bit disoriented he tried to walk but stumbled on his way, and before he could fall I steadied him, making him fall in my arms, more like crowding me as I was almost squished under his strong frame. Putting one of his arm around my neck I helped him to my bed, helping him sit down, I took off his shoes, then tucked him in bed.
Before I could walk out, to sleep on the couch, he immediately grabbed my hand, "Stay with me tonight, I may be drunk, but I know I need you tonight, I promise, I won't...." His eyes kept on drooping close, I sat down beside him, as he slept, once I was sure he was sound a sleep I kissed his forehead laid my head on his chest, hearing his soft heartbeat and then with a heavy heart I grabbed an extra blanket and a pillow. "Oh Adrian, if only you knew, you forget every rose has its thorns, I maybe your rose but I rather wither than scar you with my thorns".
With that said, I walked out of the room, unknown of what is to come next in my life.