Chuck has been gone for what seems like hours as I stare out the wooden window and struggle to try and keep the vivid images and horrid questions out of my mind, but nothing works. They always push through the wall I build in my mind and the images seem to seep through every crack that I fail to seal, leaving me with barred fangs laced with a crimson red as it paints a picture across my vision.
Shaking my head slightly, I push the evil image away and try to focus on anything but fangs covered in blood and slitted eyes as I stare at the small chip that has been knocked into the wood wall that holds the large wooden window. I study the small knick but I know I'm looking for nothing. I know I'm just looking for a distraction to push the vivid images and ruthless questions away, so that's why it doesn't work. That's why questions start to enter my thoughts. "whose Thomas?" they hiss like devilish snakes trying to strangle an innocent mouse for lunch. "what if Thomas doesn't like you? You know nobody likes you. What if he sends you back to live with-"
I cut my own thought off when I feel my heart begin to race at the evil questions that keep slithering their way into my mind. I can feel my heart constrict to the point it makes my whole inside hurt at the thought of reliving the memory I'm so desperately trying to forget. I can feel the wound on my neck protest with my heart and begin to throb. I can feel the breeze brushing against my skin from the wooden window, sending shivers down my entire body as if I'm back reliving every scary moment that I can possibly remember.
This is why I ran away. I wanted to escape these memories and the people who created them but it was foolish of me to think that if I just crossed over the line that separated my territory from another territory my memories would stay locked away behind the invisible fence. It was stupid of me to think they would all disappear like they weren't even there or to think I could out run the problems that keep wanting to trap me like a lion surrounding it's prey.
I can feel tears start to sting my eyes at the thoughts that keep entering my mind and tormenting me with their evil words. Usually, I would hold them back. I would keep them from falling and I would bite my lip to the point where it bled because tears in my old pack was seen as weak and vulnerable but this time I let them fall because maybe that was the problem. Maybe holding back my tears was like holding in my memories, maybe if I don't hold them back they will wash away the hurt and the memories that seem to stick to me like tree sap on a leaf. Or At least that's what I tell myself as I pull my legs up to my chest and begin to cry into my knees.
I cry for what seems like hours until I hear the wooden door creak in protest as someone begins to gently push it open. Startled, I quickly take the back of my hands and rub them against my eyes, Wiping away every unfallen tear that still pools there before Pulling my hands away from my eyes to see a tall, muscular, alpha standing near the now shut door. Shocked, I take a shaky breath as my heart begins to race only to instantly calm when the alphas scent begins to fill the room.
His scent is almost intoxicating as it enters my lungs. Usually werewolves, well, the one's in my old pack anyway, smelt like wet-dog and burnt rubber But he smelt entirely different. He consisted of a scent that represented freshly cut timber, like the damp forest after a rainy day; he smelt heavenly, like fresh-scented pine and honey and I'm pretty sure his scent would have been intoxicating if his dark brown eyes wasn't there to keep me grounded. It was almost stunning how perfect the alpha looked with his brown hair slightly ruffled and sticking up in strange places as he runs his hand through it, or the way his freckles contrast perfectly with his sun-kissed skin like they were put there by perfection itself.
"you know he won't like you." my thought echoes, breaking me out of my short-lived trance. "you know he was right. You know what he said was true." the evil words whisper. "Besides an alpha that looks like that could find an omega way better than you, if he doesn't already have one that is." a pang of sadness washes over me at the harsh words but I know there true. Why would an alpha like that want me? I think to myself as tears start to pickle my eyes as I stare at the alpha. He would never love me. It was stupid of me to even consider it. He was right, I am a stupid, good for nothing, omega.
Crying, I turn my head away from the alpha as tears begin to fall from my eyes and run down my cheeks, leaving small warm trails down my face until they fall onto the blanket that's covering my legs. I know I can't let the alpha see me cry even though I know he can sense it, I don't want to be punished by the alpha that I fell in love even if it was only for a small time but I wait patiently as I hear the alpha move. I listen to every floor board that squeaks as if it's warning me to run before he gets to me but my body refuses to move at the thought of leaving the alpha. I don't want to leave this alpha even if he does punish me.
Breaking out of my thoughts when I hear the bed squeak. I screw my eyes shut as I wait for the alpha to inflict his decided punishment. I hate waiting for punishments to happen. I hate the suspense that I'm held in and how anxious it makes me. I would rather be told when it was going to happen and for how long, but instead, I wait patiently for the pain that is yet to come, but it never does. Instead, a pair of strong arms wrap themselves around me, enclosing me in a comforting embrace.
My brain tells me to run, fight and try to get away as that alpha tightens his grip on me and pulls me closer towards his chest, but my heart tells me it's okay, everything is okay. But I'm not sure who to believe. I've never been approached by an alpha other than to be punished or attacked, but then again, why would my heart lie? I know my brain lies, I can feel it. I know it tells me things that aren't true and paints vivid images across my vision even though I beg it not to. I've never known my heart to lie to me so why would it start now?
Reluctantly, against my brains vivid warnings, I lean into the embrace as he pulls me closer to his chest, wrapping me in a warm hug as I bury my face into his neck and breath in his scent, Helping me to calm my racing heart and pestering brain.
"Your beautiful." Is the only thing he says after several moments of silence but it's the only thing I need to hear to break me out of my thoughts.
Beautiful? Why would he say that? I'm not beautiful. I'm stupid and ugly.
Whimpering, I bury my face deeper into his neck as I try and hide from the alpha. "no, ugly." I whisper back but it comes out as more of a distorted muffle due to the alphas shirt.
This causes another long pause for a few minutes that leads me to believe that the alpha didn't understand what i said or the more obvious answer which my brain keeps coming up with is that he agrees, so I guess we are both shocked when the alpha finally speaks.
"you're not ugly or stupid," he reassures. " your none of those things you said you are. Your beautiful and very smart. Your not just a dump omega and I would like to deal with who ever said that, personally." he growls, almost protectively at the last word he speaks.
Whimpering, I pull closer to him when his growl rings through my ears. Even though I know it isn't directed towards me, it's directed towards the people that made me this way but it still frightens me. It frightens me to think that if I do something wrong I might be at the end of that growl or the alpha look he possesses but hasn't shown.
I can feel my throat start to constrict with sobs at the thought of this alpha turning on me. I feel my eyes start to sting for the millionth time in just 2hrs at the thought of him not being different or me not being good enough.
I bite my tongue, trying to hold the tears that threatened to leave my eyes. And that's when I can't hold them back. First, one small crystal bead escapes from my right eye. I can feel the warmth, sliding down my cheek, and rolling off my chin. Then another. And another. Until my eyes flood with them, coming like a rainfall. Sniffing every ten seconds, they fall and fall, and I let them. I let the alphas shirt collar get soaked with my tears because I can't hold them back anymore. I don't want to hold them back anymore. I just want to be free from everything that's happened and forget it all.
He must sense me crying or sense my hurt as he pulls me closer and kisses the top of my head. Sending tendrils of electric through my entire body. I never been loved (or at least that's what I think it is) by an alpha. Actually, I've never been anything to an alpha other that somebody to push around and attack, but unlike that, this feels amazing. This feels right as I sit in his arms and he holds me. Whispering sweet nothings as he tries to will my tears away.
"you can tell me what's wrong." he says, his voice so full of compassion and love it makes my heart hurt. "i promise I won't tell anyone. You shouldn't have to cry because somebody was mean to you. You're to beautiful for that. You're perfect."
Perfect. I've heard this word before but It was never used in terms of me. Doesn't he know I'm not perfect? Does he know what it means? Perfect, it means to have all the desirable elements and To do nothing wrong. This isn't me. This isn't what anyone sees me as but I know he isn't lying because if he was I could sense it. So why does he see me differently?
"no, I-I 'm not." I stutter out as I try to hold back more tears. I can't lead this alpha on to believe something I'm not. For him to think that I'm perfect or beautiful would be wrong when he is everything those words mean and more. But he doesn't agree as he pulls me away from his chest and kisses me gently on the lips.
Everything in my mind that was racing instantly stops but my heart decides that it will take over as it begins to race. It's not a scared race though. It's one I've never felt before as my lips move in sync with his. It's one that sends tendrils of electric through you but it's pleasurable instead of painful. It's one that makes you forget everything and anything that happened or will happen, and that I'm grateful for, even if it only last a few seconds before he pulls away, breaking the kiss.
"I think I'm getting distracted," he whispers as he pushes his forehead against mine before leaning away and then getting off the bed. "my name is thomas and I probably should have told you that sooner." He says, which makes me chuckle slightly. "also, I was supposed to be coming in here to welcome you and show you around but again, I got distracted by perfection. "this time he chuckles as he puts his hand out for mine. "and if you don't mind, lovely omega, I would love for you to join me." he smiles like it's a joke, but his eyes house nothing but love and affection.
Returning his smile (just slightly though) I take his hand as he pulls me off the bed and towards the door before opening the door with his free hand.
I hope you enjoyed this ridiculously long chapter and I hope you enjoyed the little pieces of newts background I sprinkled in there 😁
Sorry it took so long for me to update!
Don't forget to vote and comment if you enjoyed! I always like seeing your feed back and feel free to put constructive criticism in the comments as well if you think something should have changed! ❤️
I'll be pack soon! (I swear, I am working on a new outro...) XD