During the whole taxi ride, my head spins with scenarios, with questions and thoughts. I get anxious and I start shaking. This is driving me crazy. I don't know what I will do or what I will say to him. I don't even know how I feel towards him. It has been crazy between us lately, I have seemed to have lost myself during that time and I have been building myself back up with stronger foundation, my family, my friends, people that will never desert me. I wonder where Marcel fits in all of this. I just can't deny how strongly he gets me feeling everything.
The taxi drops me at the doors and they open automatically once I approach them. I head inside without doubting myself a second. I walk to the reception and ask for Marcel like I did the last time I was in this situation. This time, when the young receptionist calls, there's an answer at the other end of the line.
"Somebody is at the front desk for you. Should I tell your room number? Alright. Have yourself a good night, Sir. Thank you." The man hangs up and looks at me with a smile. "He shall meet you at his room."
He gives me the directions and I follow them with my usual lack of orientation. I get to walk again on the bright red carpet paving my way to his room. It's spongy and nice, but it doesn't keep the floor from squeaking under my weight on the old wooden floor under the carpet. I pace quickly through the maze of corridors, surprisingly finding my way to his door.
I hesitate to knock. I look down with a deep sigh and finally hit my knuckles gently on the door. I look up when he opens the door. He was expecting someone and I came here to see him, but somehow, we are both surprised. I dive into his eyes, they are cold and guarded, like they always have been. I feel instantly bad to have lost all the vulnerability he had earlier.
We both stand in silence, gazing at each other, as I don't know what to do or what to say. The only noise I seem to make is the loud pounding of my heart. He makes my body react so intensely towards him. That's something I will never be able to understand. I need to do something and my guts entirely guides me.
I look thoroughly at him before I say anything. His jaw is slightly clenched and beautifully defined. His nostrils widen to hint me he is pissed. Both of his scarred hands are hidden deeply in his pockets. His posture is straight and his shoulders are perfectly broad for the lean shape he has. I trail my eyes on his body a little longer, remembering his bare body an instant, the heat of his touch, until my eyes find his lips. A strong desire to kiss him invades completely my senses. The colour seems even more bright, it's a gorgeous shade of pink. He hasn't the pulpiest lips, but oh so wonderful. I look up into his eyes a second and my gaze drops back to his lips. I just want to see him smile again. I am a bit sad he doesn't welcome me more happily. He is angry... I shouldn't have expected anything else.
I smile gently at him and look down at my hand, taking back the letter, unfolding it with the other. I look up and notice his sight on my hands.
"I have read your letter. I wasn't going to, but something inside of me was screaming to be with you and not with any of them. I read it in the club and about maybe three more times on the taxi ride. Eddy told me I would find you here." I tell him a bit clumsily, without any true depth even though I mean it. I just don't know how to approach the situation, I can't read him.
"And now here you are." He only responds with the coldness he is shielding himself behind.
"Here I am. Will you let me in?" I ask him, staring at him directly into his dark green orbs. It has both a literal and personal meaning.
He doesn't respond, but he pushes his door wider to invite me in his room. His silence is killing me. I want to know what he thinks. Does he truly mean his words? This letter says everything I have ever wanted him to tell me. So why is he paralysed? He stands close by, but he feels so far. There's no way to hide now, it's just him and I. My eyes surely can't lie, I want him too. He doesn't know how strongly I have wished for him to let me in, just when I thought I never really was, I had been all along.
I walk to his bed and turn to face him once he has closed the door behind me. I need to let it out. I need to tell him how I feel. I just want a moment, that's all I ask of him. It will be disorganised and messy, but he at least needs to know what I think if he is going to stay silent.
"Your letter is the most beautiful thing I have ever read." I rush out my words, being overtaken by all the love and the passion I take from this 'token of love'. "I am sorry I did not let you explain yourself sooner. I truly am, but there's also a part of me, even though I feel intense feelings for you, that doesn't entirely trust you. Believe me when I say that I think about you all the time and I just want to know what you are thinking about and what questions are haunting your mind. I want to make you laugh and be the reason you are smiling. I want to ask you millions of questions, because you fascinate me in so many ways. I want to understand you, I don't ever want to change you. You are a mess, but I like it. You are a challenge, but you are my challenge."
I gasp for air as I have been talking really fast. I look at him, he doesn't move or say anything. He is staring at me blankly. I feel desperate, like I have been many times before when it comes to him. I step closer to him and my hands desire more than anything to touch him. I want to hold him, have a physical contact with him, because that is how we seem to unite. I plead him with my eyes and my whole body to let me in and I continue to tell him how I feel.
"I want to take a chance and follow my heart, but you have already walked out on me, what tells me you won't do it again? I honestly got heartbroken when you left me that night, that's how deep I was falling for you. I feel like, since I met you, I have a foot constantly pressing the brakes. At first, I was fearing what the next roadblock was going to be, but since the day you came here, I have been falling for you with every single ordinary detail that composes you. I stared way too long, but it got me way past an infatuation. I knew how it was already too late to stop myself from falling for you when we watched Titanic together after we danced at the club together. You drive me crazy in every way possible, I am crazy about you, that's why it has been such a long drop when you walked out on me. You left me broken. I never wanted to feel that way for you. You are arrogant and mean and way too in your head, but I do. I feel for you. You don't know what I would give to be with you. I missed you so much and I can't even understand why when all my friends hate you. But I don't have to prove to anyone that I am a strong woman, I know I am and that means making mistakes and learning from them. Opening my heart to you never was one of them."
I run a hand through my hair and compose myself, but I can't. I can't seem to control myself nor my feelings towards him. I step closer, I can't fight the dire need to touch him. I step even closer and grab his shirt. I am pleasantly surprised to notice he isn't wearing his usual cardigans. It's not that I don't like them, he just seems more relaxed without. God, he looks good. I surprise myself with how hard my heart is pounding in my chest to finally be close to him after these last few days apart. I put a hand more firmly on his chest and slide it upwards to his shoulder. My other hand joins the other nest to his neck and I slide them to take both of his hands in mine. The contact is warm and so soft.
I start to talk again, getting even more uncontrollable with desperation. I shouldn't have rejected him, but he just had to give me a moment. That's why I came back to his hotel room. I want him. I want to be with him. I guide his hands to my cheeks and hold them there as he is witnessing my circus of adoration for him.
"Call me masochistic because I am diving head first into whatever you are proposing me. I am just... crazy about you." I confess to him, still talking fast. In a short second, I look at him, he doesn't move nor say anything, so I go on at the same desperate pace. "You can stop me at any time, because I am making this monologue way longer than it is humanly possible without getting atrociously awkward and I am ruining that. So if you want to try to kiss me at any point, now would be a good time, I promise I won't slap you this time-"
"Grace?" Marcel takes the last short step keeping us apart, but his frown grows harder on me. "Shut up."
I frown back in response, but a smirk grows on his lips as I feel his hands taking a confident hold of my cheeks by themselves to finally give me what I asked for. He leans in with agility and I let go of him to loop my arms around his neck, pulling myself on the tip of my toes to bring us closer together. I let myself go in his arms just like I do when I go to bed. I sink into him, our bodies moulding together beautifully.
I didn't expect a soft and tender touch from his lips the way they kiss me gently, but Marcel just knows how to deepen all of my feelings and drown me into his sweet ecstasy. His tongue sways easily into my mouth to meet mine. His hold on my cheeks becomes stronger, hungrier. I barely can breathe anymore, but I don't struggle. He is the air in my lungs, the drug in my veins, the beating of my heart.
I loop my arms tighter around his neck and caress my way to his hair, grabbing him between my fingers, pulling him to me like he does with me. The passion fuels the tension between us. Our lips mould each other so perfectly to the rhythm he sets and I submit to him entirely. The desire builds up quickly between us, like it always does when we are together, but then I remember it's more than that. He loves me.
The sparks inside me feel different. It tickles my loins to my core in a very exciting way that isn't driven by lust. I feel it inside of me, the spark that could too easily burn into a wild and raging fire of love for him. I can't lie about the way I feel for him, but it isn't love yet, not after what he has done. But I am willing to risk everything to get to feel that love with him. He loves me.
I kiss him instantly differently. I am carried by this will to love him back. I want to love him and I am dangerously heading that way. I have never felt like this before. Marcel ignites me like fuel to a flame. I can't stop hearing it back in my head, when he said he loved me. I wish I would have looked at him. I wish I could have changed that moment to make it perfect, but I don't at the same time. This moment, right now, is worth it. It's better than everything I have ever felt in my entire life.
Marcel steps back from the kiss and I open my eyes quickly, wanting to have this moment last forever. But I get pleased to see the bright colour of his swollen lips. God, he is gorgeous!
"You are such a dork." He stares at me still in complete bliss, and chuckles with a smirk on his lips. He kisses me briefly before he speaks again. "But that's a part of what I love about you."
"You really do?"
"I have nothing to compare it to, but this is the closest to what I have always imagined it would be like." He slides his hands from my cheeks to the base of my neck.
"You must be wondering why it finally happens and with me of all people..." I lean my head back against his hands as mine slide to his chest to grab his shirt.
"Not at all. I have never been more sure in my life." He whispers slowly, his eyes dive deep into mine, he is talking to my soul.
"Of what are you sure?" I want to hear him say it, because I don't want to doubt him.
He slides back his hands on my cheeks to hold me strongly, it makes our gaze sink more deeply into each other's eyes. My heart starts to race with the proximity we share, I take excitedly a hold of his waist and slide my hands to his bum, pulling us closer together.
"That I want you to be all mine. That I want to see you more often. That I get incredibly out of control when I think about you."
He spoke his mind so clearly and openly that I get weak in the knees hearing him say that. He tells me everything I have ever wanted to hear. I get enormously happy, but there's still a shadow of a doubt inside of me, but I push it aside. I can't hide the overjoyed grin on my face overtaking all of my lips.
"We got that in common." I giggle in happiness as I pull him the closest that I can against me.
"Good." He smirks seductively, digging the dimple that drives me crazy.
"Finally something we can both agree on." I wink at him and get on the tip of my toes a second to peck his lips before I let him go of my embrace and run to jump on his bed. I take a comfortable seat at the edge to look at him.
The mood suddenly changes. He looks at me and I him. He joins me slowly to the bed, but there is nothing sexual about it. I open my legs and reach out for his hands. I pull him in front of me and hug his hips to my face with both of my arms resting on the bump of his bottom. I sigh deeply, feeling this profound comfort. I look up at him and then at his arms doing nothing, resting awkwardly on his sides. It makes me smile softly and I look up to his traits. Something is on his mind.
"What are you thinking about?" I murmur in a sudden loss of voice.
He doesn't answer and looks away. He sighs a conflicted response.
"You don't want to know."
It gets me frowning and I sigh as well. I need to know to solve what might be wrong between us already.
"I do, Marcel. When something is on your mind, I want to know. You can tell me anything. I want to be there for you." I plead softly, looking at him as he seems to be so far away.
He sighs again and looks down at me.
"You know how hard it is for me to open up and you totally ignored my feelings." Marcel looks away, turning his back entirely to me, communicating his mixed anger and pain through his hands and voice. But I'm happy he reacts that way. It proves he genuinely cares. And it definitely tells me he is being vulnerable again to share that with me. It comforts me. I take it as a small victory. But I need to make him see things my way as well...
"You ignored mine right after I had given myself to you." I get up and rush myself to him, stopping him from walking away from me.
He shoots me an annoyed glance and rips his arm away from between my hands.
"It was just sex."
"It isn't just sex when I'm with you." I step back, insulted we seem to be back to square one. I don't know if it's still a small victory after all... He is making me regret it.
He looks at me and he changes his attitude to a surprising deep concern. He rushes to my side and takes a hold of my hand. It's clumsy and impersonal, but I am so surprised it makes me look at him.
"And it isn't for me too."
"But you just said-" I frown and roll my eyes quickly, shaking my head in disbelief of hearing him contradict himself all the time. How should I know what to believe now?
"Forget what I just said... You were digging too deep inside of me that night and I flipped. I'm sorry."
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"
"I did." I get terribly defensive as he says that, because I know it's not true.
"No, you didn't. It would have saved us a lot of time and energy."
"I just knew I wanted you to myself when I saw you at the show with that drummer. "
I look at him and sigh, finally feeling we are getting somewhere. He is speaking his mind and I don't want to waste time being angry at him because he doesn't know how to express himself. I want to make things clear to him, so I take his hands in mine and tell him what's on my heart so that he can do the same.
"That's all I've ever wanted, to be yours."
"Why haven't you said something?"
"I did in so many ways, Mace. But I just wanted you to label us to know where I stand. I know you hate the preconceptions of the world, but just tell me what you want disregarding of expectations. I want to make you happy, not anyone else. It sounds selfish, but you know what I mean." I look at him and hear myself imploring him desperately.
I straighten myself. I need to look into his eyes. I need to know how he feels. I need him to make me his. But he doesn't say anything. He just looks at me. It makes me sad and I panic a bit. Why doesn't he do something?
"Nobody calls me Mace."
"OK?" I frown and hesitantly respond, a bit relieved that is what he has on his mind.
"I love it." He sighs looking down and takes a step my way, tightening the gap between us. It intensifies the tension building higher and higher. He murmurs, almost a whisper, freeing the truth from his mind. "You make it hard for me to control how I feel about you.
"Is that such a bad thing?" I smile slightly to myself, in awe of how wonderfully his mind works from how he expresses himself.
"I don't know..."
His breath lingers on the skin of my face as I feel his gaze on my every traits. His fingers soon trail their way from my cheeks to my lips. I close my eyes and let myself go to feel everything, from his touch to his love. I let go. I get in a sort of trance, a cloud on which I float. It seems like the purest bliss, until his voice brings me back to him.
"Will you be mine, Grace?"
I open my eyes. My heart seems to stop for a second and I hear nothing, not even the sound of my heart racing back to life. I feel his gaze diving into mine and I seem to feel his thoughts. I feel loved and cherished and I feel all of his insecurities imploring me to give him a chance. It might not be love yet, but I know that he makes me feel deeper emotions than I have ever felt before. It's something greater than I have ever experienced. I would be foolish to pass on that, even if it breaks me. He is worth it.
"Yes."
It seems like I have lost all breath when I answer him, but he doesn't care. He seems to ignite entirely as he hears my answer. I have never seen him so genuinely happy and carefree. He is out of his head and he now acts on desire more than logic.
He steps quickly my way, too close, pushing me to the edge of the bed on which I fall. He immediate straddles me and rests both of his hands on the sides of my face. He dives his face on mine for our lips to brush. It's subtle, but not chaste. He takes his lips away to lay completely on top of me. I ravish under his weight as I hug him closer to me.
His lips find mine again. They caress mine with hunger and deep passion. It flows through my bones like blood through my veins. It electrifies my entire body. His tongue owns my every senses to make me more addicted to him. He creates burning flames to the fire I have tried to tame since I met him. I have never imagined love could feel like that. I feel like it controls me. I had brakes towards my feelings for him before because I was scared he wasn't ready to try. But he showed me more than trying, he fell in love with me.
I feel his hips digging their way against mine, grinding hard my core, absentmindedly, as his kiss overtakes the both of us. It takes us to the most delightful erotic fantasy I could ever imagine. My hands had let go of his body to rest against his on my cheeks. Marcel takes them in between his, intertwining our fingers as he pushes them on each side of my head to hold himself over me strongly. My body reacts by opening my legs wider to grant him more access against me. He keeps on working his hips against my sex and every thrust is crying of desperation for our bodies to unite.
He kisses my tongue, sways his and completely owns me. He liberates my hands from over my head and I rush them around his neck as my legs circles his waist to lock myself against him tighter.
He gets himself away from me with impatience and a loud growl. I look at him in surprise. I have never seen someone so eager to have me naked. He almost rips my jeans open as he tugs them with all of his strength. He doesn't care about my top for one second, he is already back on top of me, making every of his kisses louder and messier as his passion is the most erotic and adorable thing about him.
He excites me just by the look of him, his face, his undeniable desire to love my body. I feel the same need to feel his skin. I pull his shirt over his head and he quickly takes it off. He reconnects without wasting a second our lips together. I unbutton his trousers as well as reach inside of his briefs for his burning hardness. He gasps slightly against my lips. I grab him harder and pump him a little before I guide him to my wet slit. I play with myself a little as I pull him closer to my kiss with my other hand, both gasping in each other's mouth as I guide him directly inside of me. I let go of him to grab a hold of his bum.
The strength of his thrust reeks of desperation and desire. It has never been this messy between us, but it has never been this loving either. I have never felt more complete, more understood, more desired, in my life.
He pants loudly over me and I breath him in, pulling him down on me a couple of times for a kiss, but I let him concentrate on making love to me instead. His rhythm is hurried, but slower to the last time we had sex. But by the way he makes love to me, I know it's different. He is different. He is a man, entirely.
He rocks his hips to mine. I spread my legs as wide as I can, but his strength pushes our bodies higher on the bed. He is giving it all of his strength but I want more. He makes me feel so good, I am becoming weak. The sheets are falling as we move and I need to put my hands over my head to not hit the headboard as he hits the right spot inside of me again and again. There's no denying that what builds inside of me is an orgasm. I feel hot, I pant endlessly, I feel like a volcano about to erupt as he kisses me devilishly quickly. He hovers higher over me as he takes literally the headboard to ride harder inside of me, his face already in such bliss.
"You need to come, Grace. You need to come now!" He asks of me as I see his struggle to hold himself.
I lift my shirt and caress my exposed breasts as he thrusts harder inside of me, desperation screaming through every ounce of his body. I hold my breath as I ravish to this sight of him and how good I make him feel, too good as he didn't hold as long as usually.
"Grace!" He grunts in a hurry as I hold him closer to me, ready to explode.
"Come for me, baby!" I moan to his ear as I have both my arms circling tightly his shoulders, my hips meeting his erection in overdrive to make me come. "Ahhh-ah!"
I cry in his ear already feeling a quake of spasms through my whole body, starting at my sex. I can't move, I can't think anything other than panting as he is giving his last thrusts, erupting massively inside of me.
"Christ, Grace! Ah-grhh!" He groans very low, with a voice coming from deep inside of his throat. It's the most arousing sound I have ever heard.
He lays on top of me, like he did the first time, but it's entirely different. His cock pulsates inside of my womb. Our skins are sweating and sticking against each other. I am playing absentmindedly in his hair. But nothing is the same. He loves me.
No words are needed. When I am with him, I enjoy the silence. I find comfort in it. Some say it's overrated, but I love the sound of our brains working. It's peaceful and calm.
He raises his head slowly and I instantly run a hand through his hair to comb it back to the cute quiff he always does in his hair. He looks at me without saying a word, so I return his gaze silently, just looking at him. He smiles gently and looks to the side of my head, clearly caught in his thoughts. I run my hand in his hair again, but quickly draw my attention back on his traits. His mouth moves slightly, chewing the inside of his cheek or something, but I am found wrong when the most genuine and wide smile starts from the left corner of his lips. He looks back at me and it spreads all across his face to dig his beautiful dimples, raising all of his features upwards to make his eyes smile to me as well. It brightens up all of his gorgeous face.
He doesn't need to say a word. I understand it all. I see him. I see his mind through his face, which he never has before. He lets all of his walls down and he lets his eyes be the open doors to his soul. He is letting me in, being naked emotionally for the first time without reservation.
I mirror him with all that I am and slide my hands back on his cheeks to bring his lips to mine. I kiss him with the love from which I am falling into. He is making it so easy for me. But it's not only about how he is, it's about how he makes me feel and how we understand each other. We are not that different at all.
"I have never felt like that before in my life." He murmurs as his eyes are deep into mine.
My heart races to hear him say out loud how he feels. Even though it has been on and off between us for far too long, I feel like, this time, we are committed to each other. I feel like he wants to be with me. I have been so insecure about us, but I don't anymore. He loves me, there's nothing more to say.... I still can't quite believe it myself.
"Me neither." I caress his face and reach to kiss tenderly his lips.
I pull back from him and look at his angelic and handsome face. I notice his frown getting bigger in front of me and I mirror him in fear we might take another step back, that it was too good to be true and something is wrong.
"How come haven't you felt that before? Didn't you love Steeve?" He asks me bluntly.
"I did. At least, I thought I did. But never to this extent, as I do with you. This is more than a school fling. I am attracted to you because I feel intellectually challenged, I feel emotionally connected to you and simply just understood. I don't have to play games. I can be who I am, you have seen me at my highest and even at my lowest. I value that. I wasn't looking to love anyone else after Steeve. I think I was looking to find myself again and that's when you saw me. You know my fantasies, my insecurities, my fears, you have read them all in my book. That's the real me."
"Would you say that you love me as well, then?" He looks at me, being completely forward and oblivious. It shocks me a little.
"I don't know. I haven't asked myself that question."
"Why not?" He steps back and seems to grow angry. He rolls off me and sits at the edge of the bed, looking at me from the side.
"Because... A few hours ago, I thought we were done. I thought you didn't want anything to do with me. I was angry at the way you handled everything. I was very hurt. So, no, I wouldn't ask myself that the second you come back."
"But I love you."
"Loving somebody doesn't make them love you back, Marcel. This isn't how it works."
"Then tell me how I could make you fall in love with me." His attitude changes and he seems receptive. He has this spark in his eyes and that is enough to change the entire mood of this conversation. It makes me smile.
"Be patient. That's all you need to do. Be yourself and let me in. I promise you I won't leave you like everyone else in your life did if you do take your walls down. Talk to me. Share some of your past with me. Kiss me. Touch me. Make me yours in front of everybody. Do anything you want with me, Mace. That's all that matters to me." I smile to him as I sneak my way closer to him. I sit and snuggle to his chest, straddling him to dive my eyes into his. My hands run to his neck, they cup slowly his cheeks. My thumbs caress gently his lips as I smile brightly back at him. "There's something about you that makes it so easy for me to fall hard for you."
He listens to me with great attention and executes himself on what I just told him. He pulls me harder to him, caressing my skin. It's rough at the beginning, but it gets sweeter as his hands explore my bare body.
"You called me 'baby' earlier... Is that the kind of pet names you wish for me to use as well?"
"I didn't think of it actually. It kind of came out. Did it bother you?" I frown slightly, being very concerned that these are the kind of labelled expectations or whatever that he might hate, but I find a gorgeous dimpled smile.
He pulls me harder to him and he kisses me with strength. He has a giggle stuck in his throat as his lips are on me. It makes me vibrate to his laugh and it makes me smile as well.
"It was cute. But don't expect me to call you the same."
"Doing what is expected is not something I would ever believe you would do." I grin at him as he leans again for a kiss, but I don't let him have it. I whisper against his lips instead, looking at him straight into his green gaze. "That's why you are so exciting."
I am the one leaning in to take my kiss, but he's the one denying me access now. I love this game he is playing right now.
"Good girl." He murmurs, gazing back seductively at me.
Chills run through my body as my sex is suddenly taken by spasms from these two wonderfully exciting and triggering words. It ignites my body like a key to a car. My whole body quivers in his arms and it only makes him smirk wider. He knows.
I feel his hand leaving my back to caress its way down on my body. I understand its journey and what he is planning to do. He wants to pleasure me again, I feel it. He has that aroused glance in his eyes. His smile hides his horniness. Unfortunately for him, I am not ready for part two quite yet... I want to get to know him. I want to talk. So I need to change the subject before I succumb to his charm like I too easily do.
"What about Michelangelo? Who's feeding him when you are not at your flat?" I let out, genuinely caring, and the change of subject is surprising him with a loud and gorgeous laugh.
"I'm not leaving him for a week." He steps back and answers me with a large grin.
"What about your routine?"
"I'll get back to it when I come back tomorrow. And that's when I'll feed him again."
"Where will I fit in all of this?"
"Wherever you want to. Let's start with working on your book, finalising your story. It reminds me to book a shooting for your picture on the back cover. I'll make an appointment for when it will be revised for the last time."
"Who will be the last person to revise it? Since you are the editor shouldn't it be all up to you when it is all done?" I ask him and snuggle more comfortably inside the bed to keep me warm.
"Fuck, that's true. But I guess I want Mum's final approval. Not as an editor, but... You know?"
I smile to the realisation that he still looks actively for his mum's approval. He is maybe not as selfish as he claims to be.
"I do. But whatever we do, I will be happy with the result. No matter what anybody else thinks."
I was being genuine and true, looking at him directly into his eyes. He has done a phenomenal job on my story. I loved working with him. It almost makes me sad that it's almost over.
"We'll have to meet the board to discuss the marketing plans for your book. We have contracts with associated libraries in the UK and in the US, but I really want to reach as many people as possible. Your story has a wide range of readers. It can please, generally, the women from 16 to 34. I'm sure it can go wider than that, but those are the public we aim for. So I have been trying to break to the board an online alternative that would reach and appeal to the 16-24 demographic more. This is to be discussed." He talks passionately, letting his back collapse on the mattress to look at the ceiling to think about this subject more thoroughly. He is gorgeous to see, but this is so not what I would rather talk about.
"Mace? Let's not talk about work right now..." I whine softly as I snuggle to him and hook a leg in between his.
"What would you rather be doing?" He looks down at me, sex clearly still on his mind.
"I want to learn more about you."
"Me? It seems to be all we talk about..." He rolls his eyes and brings his arms over his head, letting them collapse on the mattress.
"I love hearing what you have experienced. You seem to have learned so much. You have been to Hong Kong! What was it like?"
"Solitary."
"I thought that's something you liked..."
"I do. I did. It was all about me, really. I didn't care about any of the culture most of the time. I had my nose in my books."
"That seems rather lonely."
"I never felt lonely. I didn't quite know what it was. I had always enjoyed, more preferred, to be on my own."
"And now you know what it feels like?" I ask softly, not trying to 'therapise' him so much. He nods. "What has changed?"
He chuckles and looks away from me, escaping the question. I look at him and wait. I see the grin on his lips hinting me his tactic to 'duck and dive' as he called it to not answer my question.
"You will never make me forget your curiosity..."
"I still got promised my questions answered."
"Will you ever let that go? That was for a single use only."
"Too late, you didn't mention an expiration date on your promise."
"You will never let me forget how stubborn you are either." He mumbles and rolls his eyes and it charms me that he does the same habit as me. I love seeing him squirm, but playing along.
"Never. Now, talk."
"Hell, Grace! Don't make me say it. It couldn't be more obvious."
"It's a reason more for you to tell me, if it's that obvious. I probably already know."
"Because of you. OK?!" He answers quickly and sighs deeply after. I know I need to keep silent to not push him too far and make him walk away from me again. He straightens himself on the bed and sits like that other night, but, this time, I stay laid on the bed and look at him. His back faces me and I get to stare at the beautiful dark and folded wings tattooed on his back.
"Why?"
"You told me how sleeping with Ashley made you realise that there was something else in this world than what you were used to with Steeve, mainly. For me, it was your story, Grace. It showed me that it was possible for a woman to be kind and gentle and understanding and calm and selfless and brave and incredibly sexy to a man as cold and guarded as me. I was so used to be selfish, so to be confronted with a character that wasn't made me open my eyes to the world again. It's like I was seeing a glimpse of the world through your eyes and I love feeling this naive and excited. You made me embrace a part of me I had shut down and buried deep inside of me since I had joined the RAF. That's why I love the story so much. It spoke to me." He ends his speech almost whispering and then turns his head to look at me. "That's why I was so surprised to see you in our first meeting. I desperately wanted to get the red haired girl out of my head. I wanted you to be an old and wrinkled lady remembering her younger days, not the spit image of her own character. And that's why, when I'm not with you, I feel lonely. And that's how I knew I had fallen in love with you..."
I look at the ceiling, searching for the right words to say and decide to keep silent. My heart is big in my chest and I feel a glimpse of what it would feel like to love him. I never expected that kind of revelation. I never thought about the reason it might have spoken to him enough to be that passionate about my story.
"It's as if you knew me already. You didn't and yet you had figured me out pretty closely with Harry, your character. It intrigued me and scared me at the same time. But now, I know I have nothing to be scared about..."
I feel him move on the bed and, then, I feel his gaze, it burns on me and I feel it carve into my head to know my thoughts. But even I don't know what I think about it. I feel happy and extraordinarily cherished. I feel giddy, but I don't know what to say to him to ease his mind. So, I straighten myself and mould my body against his back. He looks at me as I wrap my arms around his shoulders and drop a few long and meaningful kisses on his warm skin.
His eyes are running wild on me, analysing my every movements as if I was the subject of his research. I feel as if he wants to know my every truths. And just as I wonder what to say to him, I know exactly what would be perfect. A smirk sparks on my lips and it spreads through all of my features. Marcel frowns a second but can't help himself but to mirror me.
"Tu es la plus splendide créature que j'ai rencontrée dans ma vie." I whisper sensually to his ear.
His surprise is evident and very immediate. I was looking at him so intently that I literally noticed his pupils dilate. He inhales deeply and leans in a hurry, his hand reaching for my cheek to guide his face to meet mine gently. Our lips collide effortlessly in an inevitable attraction. I feel like a piece of metal to a magnet. He is the drug in my veins, getting me addicted to him more and more as I get to see glimpses of him.
He makes me feel confident and incredibly excited. It makes me want to try to own everything he makes desire. And that's something I love about him.
I slide both my hands on his cheeks and pull him to me, but I actually mould my body to his. I kiss him with the same delightful passion he is giving me. The flame is being reignited. I break the kiss to look at him for half a second and get off the bed. It's time to get our bodies properly naked. He looks at me without saying a word, he just observes with a smirk growing on his delicious lips as I get his pants and underpants off. He slides closer to the edge when I'm done to make obvious his need to have me as naked as him.
He rushes his hungry mouth on my breasts, nibbling every sensible parts until I'm growing desperate to feel him. I loop his neck with my arms and kneel on each side of his legs to straddle him. His eyes are on me and his hands rest on my hips, holding me on place. My stare sinks deeply into his, drowning me into his soul.
"You speak French?"
"Oui."
I lean quickly and reconnect our lips together. I shiver to the gentle caress of his tongue when it finds mine. Harder chills meet my whole body when I feel his arms embrace my chest to press on his. Our warmth meet, but he tears away from the kiss to whisper the most erotic and desired words I ever wanted to hear.
"Ride me, Grace."
I freeze a second, but to be gaining all the confidence in the world in the next second. I smirk and lean back to have enough place to sneak my hand between our bodies. I reach for his erection, but gently rub his testicules in my hands before. His reaction is immediate and it sparks my lust for him to be even greater. I hear him gasp, so I look up to his bliss and smirk harder. His eyes are staring hard at me, his pupils very dilated with pure desire.
I leave his balls to grip his hardness. I run my hands over his entire length and slide him against my wetness. It feels good. It seems like all my senses are heightened or I might just be so much more sensible.
I slowly sit on him and get this pleasuring full feeling I get every time he enters me. I always thought size didn't matter, but damn it does! But the size that matters most right now is how big he opened his heart for me from how much he loves me.
I circle his neck with my arms and look at him, right into his mesmerising lustful green gaze darkening to the movement of my hips. I bite my lip and slowly sway my body from front to back. My fingers tangle themselves absentmindedly in his hair, gripping me strongly to him as he forces my hips to thrust him quicker.
I drop my mouth open from how great I feel from the depth he gets inside of me. I get caught in my own pleasure building until I hear him moan softly. I rush my kiss on his lips to have his pleasure echoing inside of me. It does, it vibrates my soul, but I want more. I bite his lip and hold it gently between my teeth until I'm rocking my body too wildly against him and I lose control on my breath. I gasp and hold him closer against my body. I pant to his ear, working very hard to keep up the pace with my bad cardio. It makes me want to work out only to ride him better next time. But it doesn't change how good it makes me feel, just how long my stamina will last.
I start to lose all sense of everything around me. There's only me and him and the loud breathless gasps we make sharing the same air. I work my hips in circular and desperate motion now. Fuck, this feels great!
"Fuck, Grace!" He growls from the back of his throat. It arouses me deep into my core.
"Make me come, Mace." I order him, a smirk playing on my lips, which he questions, but understands exactly what I am talking about.
It takes a few second where I bounce on him like an animal to build my high. It starts to tickle, so I know it will come. At the sight of his eyes darkening to the blackest shade it has ever been, he grabs my hair and yanks it behind me. My body leans back with his strength and his mouth attacks my neck now fully exposed. He bites, sucks and kisses my skin all the way to my chest. My breasts are already hard and awaiting his harsh and yet so desired touch.
I groan back in response to his rough but delightfully exciting behaviour. His mouth leaves his assault on me to look at me.
"Come for me, Grace." He whispers like a chant of pure eroticism.
He spanks my bum hard and I let out a cry of surprise and softly smile afterwards. He hits me again due to my reaction and lays back on the bed. I immediately put both hands on his chest and fuck him like a wild beast. I am breathless and I am rocking my hips to a desperate rhythm until I get to the edge of my orgasm and I can barely let out a coherent word.
"Choke me." I demand him and can see the spark he gets in his eyes.
His hand flies directly to my throat and holds me tight, but not enough to hurt me, just to make it hard enough for me to breath to heighten every other of my senses as his other hand pressures his erection deeper inside of me on my hip.
I come right then, in his hand, on his body, swaying now long strokes until the spasms of my sex gets less intense and I catch the breath he stole from me. From this same hand around my throat, he pulls me down to lay on him as he makes my lips meet his in an eager and hungry kiss. It lifts my bum in the air a bit so he is the one working his hips to make himself cum. It doesn't take too long that I hear his growls in my mouth and I feel his jet stream deep inside of me. His body shakes and I feel him quaking under me as his thick penis recklessly spews inside of my womb for a second time. I move my hips on top of him slowly and kiss him harder, both hands on his cheeks, giving him the only piece of love I can give him yet.
The whole room fills with the loud pounding of our hearts as only sound. I kiss him again, lazily, completely knackered, very little energy left in me. I open my eyes to see him, blissful, his eyes still shut as he catches back his breath. He is so beautiful! And he is all mine.
It's as if he feels my stare on him and puts his kind eyes on me. He smiles brightly back at me, but tiredly closes his eyes again. It's my turn to be giddy and blissful. I lean over him and peck his smooth skin gently. I feel his body giggle and suddenly his arms embrace me romantically. He moans against my lips and I thrust him one last time. I wiggle my bum gently and slide him out of me.
Marcel doesn't waste a second once I lay my body entirely on his to roll on top of me. He crashes his kiss on my lips and moans before murmuring against my mouth.
"You drive me fucking crazy. Do you know that?"
I smirk and snuggle under him, it has the effect to make me purr like a cat. I may be driving him crazy, but he doesn't know just how he owns me completely. He doesn't have to ask anything of me, I just give him on a silver platter every time.
I don't know if it was a question I needed to answer. I don't say a word, until a question is the only thing I can respond back to him.
"How do I?"
I look up at him as he kisses me hard one last time and gets off me to bring us upper on the bed and under the sheets. I snuggle to his sweaty chest and trail my fingers on his skin, his neck, travelling to his shoulders to doodle blankly as he looks at my every move.
"You just do.... By your moans, the soft caress of your fingers always trailing on me, your scent.... You have the most beautiful eyes and the most delicious taste. I don't know, but with you, all these little things seems heightened. I have never felt that with anyone else ever. You turn me on so fucking much." He looks at me and tucks a brand of my hair behind my ear as I gaze intently and romantically at him.
"I love that you really try to open up for me."
"Well, I'm a well-oiled machine after everything you made me admit tonight." He smirks and it makes me laugh.
"I love your smile." I admit, looking at his tender lips as my fingers trail back to them. "I never had that before... Steeve was a wall with sex and muscles on his mind. He was always at the gym, so I hid myself in my stories, inventing what my fantasy relationship would be like. I created a man that would be a challenge, but only to make me better in the end. I never expected to find a man even more wonderful than the one I had created. I truly don't believe it..."
"I'm really not that great..."
"You are to me. I don't care if you have issues or struggle with being affectionate or to share things.... I am here to listen to you and care for you. I told you, you are not alone anymore."
He turns his head and looks away. I don't questions how he reacts. I let him be in his own mind. I let him question everything I said, he will finally believe I mean everything I say once he realises how many times I have told him that. But with his love, I don't think he will run anymore. I think I finally have him for good.
I mould my body closer to his chest my head against his neck where the warmth of his skin invites my lips to kiss him. He deeply sighs of comfort and wraps my body with his arm. I haven't felt that good and safe in a long time. It's a bit too hot, but I don't mind it at all, I enjoy myself way too much right now.
"You mentioned the RAF earlier... Did you mean that you were in the Royal Air Force?" I ask him curiously, leaning my head back to have a better look at him.
I find him with his eyes closed, breathing at a soft and steady pace, his lips beautifully pouted. He fell asleep. I smile to this gorgeous sight and take his glasses off to put them away on the bed, the farthest I can reach without waking him.
I give him back my entire attention and look at him. He looks so peaceful and calm, completely relaxed. It makes me think about everything that happened tonight and the smile drops from my lips gradually. I hated his guts a couple of hours ago. Should I have stayed mad at him? Or did I make the right move?
I followed my heart... But should I have had followed my head instead?
.