It's been a while I haven't see my friends, well not awhile, maybe for to long.
11th, July
I'm waiting for a train to pass, so I can continue my walk. When the train was completely gone. I see at the other side a beautiful girl holding a lot of books.
My eyes didn't release from her charming points, I was just staring at her, while she quickly run to cross the road before a train pass again.
When she's completely gone, I notice that she dropped a hot pink colored notebook. I grab it fro the floor and it is actually a diary. It's rude, but I start to read the page that I opened.
Some moments become more vivid with the passage of time
Yesterday's many encounters and goodbyes existed for this moment
Every alley and crossroad I walked through were all meant to lead me to this very place
That kind of moment is what I mean
What is written in that diary reminds me the days I was with my friends: Min Yoongi, Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook.
Even if we stopped talking to each other, I know what happened to them.
Jungkook got into a car accident and end up in a coma, in a hospital, for months. Yoongi burn down the place he lives, he wanted to kill himself, but someone saved him and also ended up in the hospital, the same one as Jungkook's his best friend.
Taehyung got into jail for the death of his dad, I mean his father. He wanted to see his best friend for that last time before he is going to be behind the bars; but Namjoon was moving out of town to live in poverty, he lived inside of a container I think, and Namjoon ended up blaming himself for not making his best friend's wish come true.
Hoseok got into the hospital after he fainted, he ended having a memory lost, so he doesn't remember us. While Jimin, who decided to stop drowning himself for his depression lives with him at someone's house.
As days pass, I continue to read what was written inside the journal.
The sound of cicadas that shirred like showers end in an instant
In the abrupt silence, I realize life's immense beauty
Just the fact that you are in it makes all the difference
Even if this were a dream, this is where I choose to be
That passage of the diary reminded me when our group of friends were called by our leader, Kim Namjoon, to go hang out and it was also our last encounter.
At that time, we taught it was just for fun. We didn't know that Taehyung killed his dad.
I arrived at the place that Namjoon called us where to meet. Taehyung was already there, he was on a mattress just lying down, maybe thinking about something.
I start filming everything with my camera when the others arrived.
We were just having fun inside of an abandoned empty pool. It was fun watching them having fun while I am filming with my camera and taking pictures with my baby pink colored Polaroid of them.
During the night, we went at Namjoon's house, well not exactly, it's where he made a house with an abandoned container.
We were outside, in front of Namjoon's house with a projectile projecting a movie on the wall of the containers and we were around a fire that we created.
We were eating, laughing and drinking together. When I took out a picture taken from a Polaroid from my pocket.
"Should we go there?" I ask Hoseok first, he look at the image and said: "Yeah." Then I showed it to the others who also accept.
And so, the next day, I drove my 4X4 with everyone to the place I showed them with my picture. The youngters, Jimin, Taehyung and Jungkook were outside at the back of the car laughing with the wind passing trough them. While the others were also having fun inside the car. I had fun driving on a deserted place, where their's only sand and water.
I took a break from driving, also to let everybody enjoy the beach. I start filming and taking pictures of them having fun again.
During night, I arrived at a gas station to filled up the gas of the car. Well, the gas station is where Namjoon works so I will certainly having a discount or something.
"Let me take a picture of you two." Namjoon said to Yoongi and me.
I let him take my Polaroid camera and pose for the picture. After taking it, Namjoon comes back in and shows us the result.
When everybody is inside the car, I continue to drive to our destination.
The next day, we finally arrived at our final destination, I decided to sleep in the car to gain some energy.
When Yoongi and Jungkook calls us, we all wake up to look at the view of the sea together. Since the view was beautiful, I start filming everything again.
I notice that Taehyung is not beside me anymore, he actually climbed a metallic tower that has a platform. Next, everybody noticed him and start to tell him to come back down.
Taehyung didn't listen and jumped into the water.
I continued reading the diary, when I noticed their's the number of the owner.
"I think I should contact her." I thought to myself.
And so I called her, she thanks me and ask me out.
30th, August
I closed the book, where I was currently reading a page about a flower called smeraldo.
I'm in front of the mirror of my room, picking up an outfit for my date.
I just pick some tops and look at myself with the shirt placing in front of me. When I tried a light gray sweater, I noticed that I bumped onto my flower vase.
At the end, I decided to wear a white blouse with a gray blazer on it and I separated my bangs from the middle.
Since I notice the page about the smeraldo, I called to a flower shop to give me the flower at the streets where my date and I will meet.
When I drove to the destination where I could met her, I remembered a quote in her diary when I looked at the Polaroid picture of my friends and I hanging inside of my car.
Looking back, I had known all along that underneath the glittering world before my eyes lay my deception that everything was to collapse with a breath of wind
I turned away, sidestepped, simply closed my eyes
Afraid I was, afraid to be loved for who I am
I just drove and remembered all their suffering when we were hanging out together. I start to feel unwell and my head started to turn.
I finally arrived on the street where the girl said to meet, I when to pick up the flowers where the delivery truck is park in front of mine and went away.
When I noticed my date at the other side of the road, I waved at her and she waved back at me. Then, she starts to run towards me only looking at me, but a car bumped onto her, I was just staring at the scene.
I was just reading the diary.
If we could turn back the clock, where should we go back to?
Once we reach that place, can all our mistakes and errors be undone?
Will happiness be ours to stay?
I put the diary on the table and almost dropping my flower vase, but I was able to stop it from falling.
I just look at myself in the mirror, I removed my sweatshirt and wore a black cap. Then, I just walked away.
Thought many seasons pass, there are places that cannot be reached
Yet another storm to be faced and the weathered head-on
Loving without fear
Hesitating and parting
Merely living as the person I am
Maybe we were all going into sadness, because we didn't know how to love ourselves.