After our group stop to have some meet up, I stopped drowning myself in the bath tub of my house; I keep failing in each of the attempts.
My best friend, Jung Hoseok, lost his memory when he was walking on a bridge.
Hoseok and I meet in a hospital when we were little, I was suffering from depression while he was suffering from Munchausen Syndrome.
31st, May
Currently, Hoseok doesn't remember me nor our groups of friends. We are also currently staying at a dancing studio of a girl that Hoseok meet, well the girl is actually his savior, she is the one the found Hoseok lying on the ground beside a route. The girl is generous and pretty.
Hoseok seem to be so energetic when dancing, his energy always reminds me of back in the days when we were sharing a room at the hospital.
"Hoseok~ah!" I scream at my best friend.
"Jimin~ah!" He screamed back to me.
We were having a pillow fight, the feathers of the pillows were flying everywhere. When it ended Hoseok and I lay down on the floor to enjoy the feathers as our bed; we were so tired from the pillow fight, but Hoseok seem to still have energy to continue.
I look at my friend while filming him with my cellphone, he is practicing his dance that the girl taught him. Hoseok seem to really like the girl, but I also do like her.
A moment after, she arrives with a cake in her hands to celebrate Hoseok's birthday who was happy and surprise. At that moment, I start to film her beautiful face. When she notice me, I quickly stop filming.
"Jimin, come here. Let's celebrate Hoseok's birthday!"
Everyday seems to be like the same day, I only watch them practice their duel dance, I only film their dancing, sometimes I only film the beautiful girl with a smile when she dance with my best friend.
"Jimin~ah! Do you want to learn this dance?" Hoseok ask me.
"Are you sure? I'm not great." I answer.
"Don't worry, with lots of practice you will be able to nail the routine. Plus if you completely nailed it, you can dance with me." The girl encourage me.
"Then I'll learn it." I smiled.
And so, I learn the dance from Hoseok.
At night, when Hoseok and the owner of the dance studio are asleep. I will be at the practice room dancing to their duel, well practicing Hoseok's part, I always fail the most complicated part.
I'm such a perfectionist, I just want it to be perfect when I'll be dancing with her. I also was a perfectionist about how I wanted to drown myself.
I'm in the bath tub, I've decided to burn a letter and drown myself to death.
"Okay, Jimin. Let's see what you got." Hoseok starts.
"I still think I need more practice." I replied.
"Come on, think of it as a practice, but this time with a partner." Hoseok encourage me.
"Shall we start?" My partner ask.
"Yeah." I finally say.
When the music start, my body start to move to the music, my partner was also doing the same. Until I bump onto her, making us fall on the ground, the fall also made my right arm hurt. Hoseok and I were shock when we realize she was bleeding when I tried to help her.
The first thing that Hoseok did was taking her to the hospital, ignoring me.
When they are gone, I went to the bathroom to wash the blood of her of from my hands while crying for my dump actions. Even though, there's no more blood on my arms, I just keep washing my arms, the water just keep going, making the bathroom sink full of water and the element of human was running to the ground.
The water and the sound of thunder only reminds me of my past days; when I tried to drown myself in a bath tub.
"Why can't I just die?" I ask myself, still in the bathtub with my clothes on crying.
I walk out of the bath tub and sat next to it, I was cold, my whole body is wet and the water keeps running, making the bathroom floor submerge with water.
I decided to walk toward the hospital with an umbrella.
Arrived at the entrance of the hospital, it started to rain, I used the umbrella to make the water stop dropping on me and I decided to go back to the studio. I should just leave, I should just continue to drown myself, I should just take my life away.
I've realize that the people I love the most always go away.
*******
As I said in the previous chapter, Jung Hoseok's birthday is the 18th February not 31st May. Jimin is a perfectionist, but he is not really bad at dancing.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter.