~my prince~
<chapter 7>
It took shuu two minutes to realise his fault , his deadly sin , the unforgivable mistake he has done , he can't fix it now , he can never make kaneki forgive him , but he will try , he has to save kaneki , he has to stop and take off the ego which has blinded him , his sweet kaneki , his reason to live , he can't just let all this memories go , was confused by his emotions , the only way was for him to express his true emotions was when he was the gourmet , everything else was fake , so he didn't understand what he felt for kaneki at first , he thought he was the same as all of his meals , but .. this feeling that shuu felt were true , he knew they were true .
Ken..
He went back running , he didn't look at anything else than his kaneki , the beast was already about to kill him , but , it fell on the floor instead .. shuu pierced through it , the crowds were shocked , a woman was yelling at shuu , but he didn't hear or care for what she would say .
" ken .. " shuu started unable to finish , he doesn't know what to do or say
" stay away ! Don't come near me " kaneki panicked , the beast was gone but another one appeared .
" kaneki-kun , please calm down ! , I don't want to hurt you "
" no ! You lied to me , just like her ! ,you wanted to eat me, you and rize are the same .. " that's all kaneki said and looks like he was calming a bit down and started to breath steady .
" you are right.. . . , kaneki-kun , let me help you , don't be scared , please " even in his state kaneki can sense the how hurt tsukiyama was ..
Tsukiyama carried the boy up , and left the room with him , he watched as kaneki started to close his eyes , his eye patch was off , tsukiyama could see two eyes of two different worlds , now the secret of kaneki's interesting scent was in him being a hybrid , very interesting .. the angelic figure in his arms opened his eyes again , only to say one thing
" shuu ?" With that kaneki fell asleep peacefully .
This has taken shuu's heart , how he laid in his arms and peacefully as he said his name , making shuu wonder if kaneki forgot what he has done .
He brought kaneki back to his apartment , kaneki had the key in his pocket , he entered and laid ken on his bed , tsukiyama didn't want to be awkward but he stood a little watching him as he sleep , he looked more peaceful more innocent than he was already , he can't believe how blind was he , or how stupid to confuse as strong feeling like love for his gourmet hunger , this would have never happened only if he has known what his feelings were , he promised himself he would never make such mistake again , of only his kaneki would come back to him .
He left , and came back to the mansion instead , he didn't care how bloody his clothes were , he just needed a shower to clean all this blood off , he wishes if this warm water can clean his guilt as well .
He couldn't sleep , not after what he did , he kept punishing himself , then his worry about how kaneki would react took place ,he couldn't take it no more , Shuu stood in the room , looking for the book kaneki recommended for him anything to distract him , he read and read , but it didn't take the feeling of guilt away .. eventually he started to get sleepy , he closed his eyes ...
He hears someone screaming , screaming his name , he runs to the direction of sound , and suddenly he is back , in the ghoul restaurant , the place he spent most of his free time in , he hates this place now
The sound came again it was kaneki , that beast was about to kill him , tsukiyama run to save him , but he was too late ..
Shuu woke up sweating , his heart beating fast , and his vision started to blur , his eyes hurt , he felt something warm crossing his cheek , he got out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash his face .
It's going to be a long night for shuu , he came back from the bathroom , wondering if kaneki woke up yet , he will check on him in the morning , but he can't bring himself to sleep just yet if he can only touch his face like before or look at his eyes or the kiss his sweet lips again , just once , he knows this was unforgivable , he almost killed him , he almost lost the person he loved ... he lost him already ...he lost his trust , he lost his love ..
He couldn't take it no more , his pillow is wet with tears , he whispers apologise and asking him not to go , he calmed after minutes and tried to sleep again .
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Morning , at kaneki's apartment , he refused to leave his room , he promised hide to call but he didn't , had to go to work but didn't ,.. he was scared , he knew what he had experienced was true , he remembered everything , the last thing was tsukiyama's face , he remembered shuu looking at him apologetically , like tsukiyama didn't mean any of this , but he did it and kaneki fell for it , he almost killed him .
Kaneki heard a knock on the door ... he won't see who it was , probably shuu , but he wasn't ready to see him yet , after few minutes he stoped and called kaneki
Kaneki watched his phone ringing but didn't pick up he will never do it , he will never get played again
Not long until he received a text message , curiously kaneki picked his phone up
Kaneki-kun , please tell me you are alright
I can explain ... please don't ignore me
Ken ?
Kaneki didn't text back , he will never ..
He sat there on the bed , doesn't feel like getting up , he feels betrayed and heartbroken , the only person he loved , sold him off to a restaurant full of ghouls .. his eyes get warmer and the pain of betrayal hurt much , he doesn't remember when he started crying .. his phone rang , fortunately it was hide , kaneki answered .
" kaneki ? What is wrong ? , why is your voice like that ? "
" I'm okay .. it's just " here kaneki can't hold himself , he cried his heart out on the phone , hide didn't say anything .
" I'm coming over " with that , hide hang up
Kaneki didn't wait long , hide was here in no time , he sat down with kaneki , ken has already calmed down put no word was said ..
" it is him , isn't it ? " that's all hide said
Ken just nodes
" are you going to talk about it ? "
" no, .. "
" how about .. you sleepover in my house tonight ? I have all the videogames to fix the broken , come on ! , you don't have to bring anything with you "
" okay .. " that was all what kaneki said
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"No ! , I'm going to die ! .. agh .. I'm dead .. " hide said , he was the one playing videogames , kaneki sat there watching with a book in his hand .
" dude ! Can't you quit studying ? , you are making feel guilty about my homework "
" I'm not studying .. just reading "
" a new book I see ... "
" yeah ... "
" he got you this book didn't he ? "
" .. . Yes , he got me more .. "
" .. did he try to ... do something .. hmm .. you know .. "
" no , he didn't "
" then what did he do ? "
" I .. I don't know if he did it on purpose or didn't mean to .. "
" what did he do ? "
" he did nothing , hide .. he just broke my heart "
"The basterd , did he want to test me ? , I will kill him "
" don't say something like that "
" you still love him , don't you ? .. listen .. I know love can be misleading , you can ask me as an expert , and kaneki .. Something as sensitive as love can be needs gentle hand to hold it , if his hand weren't gentle then he can't hold your love , first you need to make sure if he did or didn't do it .. whatever it is on purpose , second , you make a decision you can live with , that's all , don't just cry , he might be waiting for you to answer- wah wait .. did he call you? "
" yeah, several times"
" what did he do when you didn't answer ? "
" at first he was knocking at my door then called me , then he sent me text messages "
" let me see ! " hide took the phone and read the messages , ken took the phone back
" I guess .. he seems like he doesn't want to lose you .. "
" .. I miss him .. . Only if I can trust him again , I would hug him tightly .."
" okay , kaneki .. just clam down man , don't cry now , or wait ! They say crying makes you feel better so , go ahead I won't judge"
" darn it hide , you make me wanna laugh as much as I want to cry "
" you're welcome" hide laughed and continued playing
Kaneki went to sleep , he feels safer sleeping here , he used to feel the same when shuu was with him , now .. he can't trust him no more .
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In the morning , kaneki went back to his apartment , he sat in the living room , just staring at the television , it was muted ..
Ken can hear someone knocking on the door , it was tsukiyama , he didn't knock for long , he texted kaneki
Kaneki's phone received a message
Just give me a sign that you are alright and I promise to never let you see my face again .. ever If you wanted ..
The last message got through kaneki he felt pain in these words , he didn't want to show it .. he stood up and stood in front of the door ..... wondering if he was being played again .. if he might lose his life this time .. .
" I'm alright " he simply says behind the door
" oh god , kaneki-kun , I'm glad you're alright "
Ken heard a broken voice not the prideful tsukiyama .. did he mean those words ?
" now , you can leave as you promised " kaneki said .. he heard no words after , only a gasp of shock ..
" kaneki-kun .. ? Is that final ? " he asked totally afraid of the answer , his voice was weak like if he was trying to keep himself calm .
" you promised not to show your face if I told you I was alright , so go ahead , unless this was a lie as well "
"No .. I didn't lie , and I never lied to you .. just yesterday..and I will leave . .. but at least listen to me "
" no , I have more important things to do "
" kaneki-kun wait ! , listen please .. I didn't know what I wanted , I didn't know I truly loved you till I realized I don't want to lose you , i'm stupid , I confused love for hunger , I never wish to hurt you kaneki-kun , all I want is for you to forgive me , I know I'm asking for too much , but it hurts ... it hurts to never be with you again .. so I wish if you can take some of the pain and say that you forgave me , .. when I leave ken , I don't want you to remember me with only what happened yesterday, but the sweet moments we had ... forgive me .. .. kaneki-kun ? .. " tsukiyama was trying to breath normally but he couldn't , he leans against the door , crying .
He knew he couldn't make kaneki love him again ..
It's over ...
....
.
.
.
.
Kaneki opened the door , tsukiyama fell flat on the face , kaneki laughed , and tried to help him stand
" kaneki-kun .. I was going to leave .. I'm sorry .. "
" don't .. come on let's wash your face .."
" kaneki-kun ? What are you doing ? "
" what dose it look like I'm doing ? "
" you let me in .. "
" yeah , you aren't the only one who can play people "
" so .. y-you didn't mean it ? "
" yes , shuu .. I trust you and you saved me .. well after putting me in danger but still .. "
" I will never do such thing , it was a mistake , I promise "
" okay okay , calm down , you big baby " kaneki smirked
" and here I thought you were an angel " shuu smirked as well
They both laughed and sat on kaneki's sofa .. tsukiyama was smiling wide he never felt better in his life , kaneki asked If shuu wanted to have something to drink , shuu wanted a glass of water , ken brought one for him .
" oh , and I love you too " kaneki said it when shuu was drinking , the shocked tsukiyama and made him choke on water as well
" are you trying to kill me ?" He said smiling
" no .. that's a bit of pay back "
" did you forgive me , kaneki-kun ? "
" I forgave you , shuu .. well .. i'm not sure myself , I know that I can never hate you " kaneki said as he got closer to shuu and kissed him softly , his face was red actually both their faces , shuu pulled kaneki in a tight hug .
" what did you do to me , ken ? , you can make me both saddest and happiest man alive "
Ken blushed and hugged him back , they were cuddling and watching the television together , tsukiyama complained how small it was , kaneki called him a spoiled brat
" I might be , but you , mon cher , I will make sure to spoil you rotten "
" you don't have to , you know , and I can take care of myself "
" yes , love , but I can't leave my cute baby boyfriend to do all this work by himself " he said kissing kaneki's cheek , his face is so red .
" don't say that ! I'm not that cute "
" awwww " shuu cupped his cheeks
" stop that ! , I'm not cute "
" but , ken , you're so dulce i could eat you .. ah .. I guess .. I should know not to joke like that .. " tsukiyama said feeling uneasy
" well .. no harm done "
" then , mon cher , let me continue telling you how cute you are~" tsukiyama said while trying to kiss kaneki on the cheek but he didn't let him
" if you say another word I will be the one leaving ! "
" no , mon amour ! "
" okay , now you really have to translate some of these words from time to time "
" oh , gladly , mon amour , means : my love in French " shuu smirked
Kaneki's flushed red again
" okay .. maybe that's enough for today.."
Tsukiyama kept his eyes on him ..
" ken .. "
" yeah ? "
" do you know that you look cute all the time ? Is it natural or did you take time to master it ? "
" I'm leaving "
" mon amour! , nooo ! "
They stared at each other then laughed , it feels so good not to be all alone again , kaneki thought these days won't come back , and he was wrong , but he loved how wrong he was ..
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So , did you enjoy it ? , if not then you can stop reading now , I didn't write half of it yet , yup .. it's a loong story :)
You are very very welcome to give any ideas , I need them pretty bad .
See ya 😆