chapter eighteen - in goddess we trust
song of the chapter ; another sad love song - khalid
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ALL FARAH EVER wanted was to be loved. She had received it in her childhood and early teenage years, growing up under the tender care of her Mother, but all of that changed when they moved from Natchitoches, Louisiana all the way to Seattle in Washington. The journey was fun enough, though, and had been Farah's first experience on an airplane. She had spent the entire flight with her face pressed against the window, eyes wide and excited as she gazed at the landscape below.
It all went downhill after she turned fifteen. Her mother had remarried and moved on, bringing a step-father into the family. She remembered it clearly, it was a rainy day in Magnolia, Seattle, the clouds spitting their fury down on the paved streets of the city. She had been cozied up on her couch, tired after a long day of school and ready to watch television and relax. Her eyes had just been closing when the doorbell rang.
Her eyebrows had furrowed, wondering who it would be because her mom wasn't supposed to be home until five. Her feet hit the carpeted floor as she walked towards the front door and swung it open, not bothering to look through the peephole. At first, the only person she saw was her mom, to which she welcomed inside with curiosity. And then, in he followed. A man, tall and light-skinned was holding the hand of her mom.
"Uh... okay?" She trailed off, staring at the man and her mom holding hands. "Who's this?"
Her mom had been wearing a bright smile, "This is Christopher."
"Okay," Farah said slowly.
Her mom's grin did not falter, "We're dating!" The words were like a smack to the face. "A couple months ago, Father David introduced him to me, he was new at our church!"
If only I had known, Farah cursed herself, nearly tripping over a stone. She should've warned her mother the moment Christopher left, the moment she saw his snarky smirk directed right at her. But instead, she suffered in silence, allowing the man to manipulate the mind of her mother and turn her against her own daughter. Allowing him to dictate the household.
But now wasn't the time for reminiscing. She had to be smart and keep track of her surroundings. Unfortunately for her, the area surrounding Israfil's pack was all forest which meant she had to navigate her way through it all to make it towards the nearest city or small town or village. Sounded easy enough, with the nearest civilization being a tiny village no more than three miles east. Maybe she could even hitch a couple rides to Nevada.
All she knew is that she had to go far from here.
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Skin drummed against the steering wheel of Israfil's convertible, platinum band rings fitted on his fingers clanking against the vinyl material. The drive towards his west border where his territory met Alpha Mitropoulos' was slow and silent. The radio wasn't on like it normally was when Farah was present. The wind blew back his hair, black strands flying away from their usual position on his forehead. He wanted to curse the sunny weather of California- the state was almost always extremely hot and unrelenting, even when he wished there was rain to match his shitty mood.
When he reached the border, he spotted the silhouette of a short alpha female and the tall and broad alpha male. Israfil put his car in park, putting the handbrake in place before getting out and slammed it shut and walking towards Alexander and Lacey.
"Hey, thanks for-"
A squeal cut him short of his sentence, "Isra! I haven't seen you in so long!" Lacey had a bright grin and was about to reach in to hug him when she was pulled back from her glaring mate.
"Hey, Lace." He could barely muster a smile. "Alexander," He acknowledged, his tone much more serious.
"I assumed she headed west, towards your territory." Israfil began. "There's a good ten miles between where my pack is settled, and where yours is. I've taken her to the coast pretty often, so I think she could be closer to L.A."
Alexander's jaw tightened, "I asked my border patrols, they didn't see anything. There's a chance she could already be in Los Angeles, so we can check there too. If she isn't there, she sure as hell isn't in my territory. I asked all of my deltas assigned the rest of my Californian territory, and they said they didn't see anything yet either."
There was that panic again, making Israfil's hands clammy. "Alright, let's go."
--
"Fuck!" Israfil shouted. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" After days of scouring the entire west coast of California from Marina to San Diego, they came up empty-handed. She didn't leave a trace behind, no pointers to where she was going or what she was going to do.
Lacey frowned, feeling sympathetic for him. "It's okay, we'll find her-"
"No, we fucking won't! She could be in the goddamned rogue territory! Do you know what they'll fucking do to her?! She still had Noah's scent on her and they know that he's dead. They'll retaliate by fucking killing her because they'll think that she had something to do with it." Exasperation and anger coated his voice. He had briefly explained who Noah was, how he was an abusive boyfriend, a piece of shit hellbent on ruining the lives of others. He was careful to exclude the details, only giving the basic idea of what he was like.
"Isra, she'll be okay, don't worry-"
"I will fucking worry!" He yelled. "She can't fucking protect herself, Lacey, don't you get it? Everyone she's ever met has tried to take advantage of her, tried to hurt her. She's all alone out there, searching for goddess knows what, all by herself."
Alexander caught onto Lacey's silence, picking up on her hurt expression from Israfil's outburst. "Okay man, I get it, but you need to chill out." As a cautionary and protective action, he placed hands on Israfil's shoulders and moved him back. "Don't yell at her like that."
Israfil's once silvery white eyes were now identical to the color of his pupils, completely shaded black. His hands moved out of anger, reaching up and shoving Alexander hard and callously, causing a slight stumble backward. "Fuck you, don't put your damn hands on me."
Alexander's temper raised, "I'll do what I fucking want, asshole. You can't talk to her like that."
Sensing an oncoming fight, Lacey let out a nervous laugh and inched her way between the two alphas that were measuring each other up, chest to chest, their height matching and dominant. "Okay, see, this is what we're not gonna do." With strong hands, she placed her fingers on Alexander's body and inched him further away from Israfil. But Alexander's eyes remained burning into Israfil's face with fiery scrutiny and fury.
"You try that shit again, and I'm done." He snarled.
"Alexander," Lacey hissed. "Nows not the time for your goddamned pride. Stop being ridiculous, he has every right to be angry, his mate is gone." She reasoned, "He needs to let his anger out, so stop being a dick and let him. He took out his emotions on the first available person, okay? That's okay. He's just scared."
Alexander's eyes narrowed at Israfil.
"Fine. I meant what I said, though." Alexander stated.
She gave him a scolding look but didn't say anything, opting to turn towards Israfil instead.
His eyes had returned to normal, but his entire body was still shaking. But he was still a whirlwind of passion, a tornado of anger, shame and dejection and he was on the verge of ruining everything around him. The word panic wasn't enough to describe his current state, it was something more along the lines of crazed hysteria, enough to make his body convulse with chagrin. "Sorry, Lacey." Israfil murmured, his mind still running in tireless circles.
"That's okay. I meant what I said, though, we'll find her."
But Israfil didn't know if that was true. It had now been two days of searching for Farah, staying in different motels and eating fast food continuously, all for nothing. If she wasn't here, she could technically be anywhere. She could've hitched a ride or flown to Arizona, Nevada or goddamn Washington. He couldn't protect her if she wasn't in his territory, all he could do was pray to goddess that he would find her before someone took advantage or did something irreversible.
What would he do, now that she was gone? All he could do was busy himself with work and make as many calls as possible to other Alphas in surrounding states to keep a lookout for her. If even the slightest hint on where she went arose, he would travel as quickly as possible to catch onto it before it left.
"Thanks." He tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace. "We'll find her." He said out loud, a promise to himself and Farah. He couldn't give up, he couldn't afford to.
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this chap sucked ass and i wanted to write more but i need to keep yall on edge ya know
-s