"They all cheat at cards, the checkers are lost, my cellmate's a killer, they make me do push-ups in drag. But nobody cares if you're losing yourself... Am I losing myself?! Well, I miss my mom. Will they give me the chair, or lethal injection, or swing from a rope if you dare? Oh, nobody knows all the trouble I've seen!" --- You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison
---
Shock Therapy
Party's P.O.V.
Paranoia's screams reverberate around the room, making my ears ring. I'm still on the floor and can't get to her before she collapses onto the carpet that doesn't serve as much of a cushion. "Paranoia!" I gasp, rushing toward her at the same instant as Ghoul and Jet. They're on their feet and closer to her body, but I'm more desperate to get to her, leading me to reaching her first.
Her body is limp in my arms as I pull her into my lap. Too many times, I think to myself. I've been in this position too many times. I can't do it anymore.
"What the hell just happened?" Ghoul asks in a hushed voice. I feel like we've been asking that question too many times as of late. "She just...fell."
Jet crouches down beside me. I'm suddenly reminded of being in this exact same situation after the bomb blew and she was unconscious. Jet wanted to help and I almost wouldn't let him touch her... But I'm more than willing to pass her over now. I just want her better. I want her back to normal. "It was the memories," Jet says in his doctor voice. "Kobra mentioned it was how to break her out of whatever influence she's under. I didn't realize it would be this painful for her."
"No shit," Ghoul replies, sitting down on my other side. "What do we do now?"
The elevator door slides open before I can come up with an acceptable answer. "Party Poison," Vengeance Fire croaks, stumbling out of the elevator with one hand pressed to his abdomen.
Immediately, I'm on my feet. Paranoia would have fallen off my lap had she not been in Jet's arms. "What the hell are you doing out of bed?" I snap. "You're still wounded!"
"Better off than most," he answers darkly, leaning one shoulder against the wall to support himself. He coughs a bit. I see a speck of red on his hand before he hastily wipes it away. His brown eyes leave my face and narrow in Paranoia's direction. Instinctively, I take a small step closer to her, putting myself between the two of them. "What happened to her?" Vengeance asks, not looking away from her pained face.
Ghoul stands beside me, creating a mostly-effective two-man shield. "We're healing her," he says coolly. His normally dark eyes seem even darker in the shadows of his face. "What exactly do you want?" His tone is demanding.
Vengeance doesn't flinch. "I want her taken care of."
"We are - "
"No." He cuts Ghoul off before he can say more. "I want her gone. Dead. The rest of the city wants the same."
A growl escapes my throat before I even notice it. "You're not going to touch her," I say with a firm voice. "We are fixing her. She's under the influence of some drug Korse gave her. She didn't intend to do anything wrong."
Vengeance looks murderous. "She slaughtered our Killjoys! This cannot go unpunished!"
"We're not killing her." Ghoul nods in agreement and clenches his fists. My gaze is deadly as I stare him down. I know I have superiority over him. Everyone knows it. It comes with being the leader of the Fabulous Killjoys. "And, so long as I'm alive, you will never lay a hand on her."
Vengeance lifts his chin a little before coughing into his elbow. "It's not your decision, Party. This city is a democracy now, or have you forgotten?" My face pales a little. If they vote to kill her...
"We're not making any decisions right now," Jet says from behind Ghoul and me. A quick glance over my shoulder shows me he's still on the floor with Paranoia. "As the lead physician in the hospital, it is my job to make sure that all of my patients are treated to the best of our ability before they are allowed to do anything more. That includes trials and death sentences."
I almost cry in relief when Vengeance's face takes on an assenting expression. "Fine," he snaps. "She's safe for now. Do what you can with her, but after that, it's up to the people." He turns around and stumbles back into the elevator, still clutching his side. His cold glare is trained on me until the doors finally slide shut.
Ghoul lets out a breath I didn't know he was holding. "What do we do now?" he asks, his eyes looking sad when he turns his gaze to me.
"We fix her," Jet says. "We'll have to do it quickly, though. I don't know how much longer my authority is going to be enough to control the protesters."
I run a hand through my red hair. "What do you suggest?"
He presses his lips together for a moment. "I do have one idea, but it's old fashioned and sort of unorthodox. Nobody's done it in several years."
"I'm willing to try anything," I reply honestly.
"It's not been proved that it actually helps," he continues uneasily.
I shake my head and give him a pleading look. "We have to try. You know we do."
His brown eyes are pained. "You're not going to like it, Party."
I grab a fistful of the front of his shirt. "Dammit, I don't care! Whatever it is, we're doing it!"
Jet sighs. "I was hoping you wouldn't say that."
***
Ghoul stands protectively in front of me, one palm on my chest to keep me back against the wall. My hands are clenched into fists at my sides, my eyes trained on the two way glass in front of us. On our side it's just a plain window, but on the opposite side it appears as though it's a mirror. That's the side Paranoia is seated on, strapped to a metal chair with rusted legs. Thick silver cuffs keep her restrained to the chair by her ankles, wrists, and forehead. Coiled wires trail down to the floor from each cuff, the thin lines running along the tile until they reach the box in the corner.
Jet fiddles with the controls a few feet ahead of Ghoul and me, his tongue just barely protruding from between his teeth as he concentrates. There's so many dials and buttons that are covered in dust and display worn labels. We didn't build the prison or sanitarium levels beneath the main part of the building; we discovered them in the rubble of Better Living Industries, which explains why this room appears as though it hasn't been touched in years. Jet was correct in saying it was old fashioned.
"What exactly did they use this room for, Jet?" Ghoul asks tentatively. I strain a little against his hold, but he just presses his palm more firmly against my jacket. His touch is the only thing keeping me on my feet.
Jet blows the dust off what looks to be a microphone. He pauses before he answers, focusing all of his attention on Ghoul and not daring to look me in the eyes. "Torture, I'm assuming. But the books I read before the world went to shit told about using this method to cure mental illnesses. It was a long, long time ago that they did it, and it was never confirmed if it worked at all, but right now it's our best shot. We don't have any medications to give her to stop whatever Korse gave her because I don't know what it's based on."
I swallow the foul taste forming in my mouth and cringe. "What is this supposed to do to her? Just shock her a bit?"
"More than 'a bit', depending on the setting I use," Jet answers. "Hopefully we won't have to use a high amount on her."
I chew my bottom lip and look away from him and from the controls, looking instead at Paranoia, still unconscious in the chair. I had to wait in this room while Jet and Ghoul strapped her in because I couldn't bear to do it myself. Jet had tried to explain everything to me, and had done his best to assure me that she wouldn't suffer any permanent damage, but it hasn't calmed my nerves any. Keep her safe, I plead to whoever is listening. Just keep her safe.
"What's the result we're expecting from this?" Ghoul asks next. "Kobra said that memories are the trigger, and we just proved that a little while ago. What's shocking her going to accomplish?"
Jet exhales slowly. "I'm hoping that we can remind her of her past and snap her out of this without having to shock her at all," he answers. "But if she doesn't respond like we want, we're going to shock her a bit and try it again, increasing the power each time." Ghoul nods and says nothing more; it's suddenly hard for me to breathe.
On the other side of the glass Paranoia slowly opens her eyes. She struggles against the cuffs for a brief moment before settling down again, opting to look around with just her eyes instead. I can only see her profile, as her chair is facing the door on the wall adjacent to the window, but I notice her blue eyes looking in our direction. And, for just a moment, I swear she sees me. But that's ridiculous; her side of the glass is a mirror. She's only seeing herself.
"I'm going to set it on five, just to see if the machine is actually working," Jet says quietly. Slowly, Ghoul and I nod. Jet twists one of the dials and the meter on the box makes its way toward the fifth tick mark. The coils of wire start to glow a dull red color as they warm up. Paranoia's eyes close like she's knows what's coming; my breath catches in my throat. Jet presses the button beside the dial and sits back.
Paranoia's body convulses. Had Ghoul not placed his other hand on me, I would have burst through the glass upon seeing it. A sharp cry slips past her lips and her eyes fly open. Immediately, they seek out the window. "What the hell was that for?" she wheezes. Her voice is sharp, her eyes cold.
Jet presses the button beneath the microphone and leans forward until his lips are centimeters away from it. "Do you remember when you first arrived at Battery City after the bomb incident?" Paranoia's eyes narrow; he has her attention. "Ghoul and I cried when we saw you. It'd been several months since I'd seen you, and knowing that you were on your own out in the Zones was almost unbearable. I knew you were one of my best friends, Paranoia, and it killed me knowing we couldn't take you with us. It was my fault, of course; I was afraid moving you would injure you more. I was so stupid back then. I didn't know how to do my job half as well as I know now. And now, seeing you sitting there, influenced by Korse, the very man you thought you'd killed, it hurts to know that you don't think there's anything that I can do to help you."
Something shifts in her eyes for a brief moment, and I think I see tears glisten for a fraction of a second. But then she blinks and the traces of emotion disappear. "I don't give a shit how you feel, Jet Star. Now get me out of this stupid chair."
A sad look comes over Jet's face and he looks down for a minute. "I'm going to try five again," he says in a low voice. He doesn't wait for a response before he presses the button again.
Paranoia again convulses in her chair. My lungs burn from the breath I've been holding; the air explodes from my mouth in one gush, making my chest throb. I can't handle five. What'll happen when the amount increases?
Ghoul gives me a look. "Are you okay?" he whispers. I shake my head. "You can leave. Nothing's keeping you here."
I shake my head again. "She is."
He presses his lips together and nods. "Can I let you go now?" I look down at our shoes and nod. He draws one hand back to his side and sets the other on my shoulder. "Hey, Party," he says in the same quiet voice as before. I look up. "She'll be fine. Jet knows how much her body can withstand. She'll pull through. We'll all pull through."
I sigh. "I know we will."
"Good." He smiles, then glances over his shoulder at Jet. "Can I speak with her?"
Jet shrugs. "Go for it. If she doesn't respond like we want, twist the dial up to ten volts."
"Is this safe?" I ask, the question just now occurring to me as Ghoul settles in front of the microphone. "These dosages, are they small enough to not do any damage?" I know what Ghoul said, but I want to hear Jet say it.
Jet nods. "It's perfectly safe. The average human can withstand up to one hundred volts at one tenth of an ampere before death."
I have no idea what any of that means, but it sounds scientific, so I'm going to assume he's correct.
"Hi, Paranoia," Ghoul says into the microphone, cutting off our conversation. "How're you doing?"
She rolls her blue eyes. "What the hell do you want?"
He smiles faintly. "I want you to remember. Is that too much to ask?" She snorts. "You know, I used to be in love with you."
He laughs a bit at my perturbed expression. I knew he had a crush on her in the beginning. I wasn't aware it went any further than that. Paranoia looks just as shocked, surprisingly enough. "Yeah, that's right. I told Party I had a crush on you for the first month or so that I knew you, but as soon as he started showing interest in you I lied and said I got over it. In truth, it carried on a lot longer than that." He smiles. "Remember when I took you to see Dr. Death Defying, Missile Kid, and Show Pony?"
I've never heard this story before. I assumed she'd just run into them throughout the building somewhere. I didn't know Ghoul personally showed her their locations. "We were in that elevator for so long just talking. And we hugged, and made fat jokes, and it was the happiest I'd been in months. I missed you so badly. I could have kissed you in the middle of that elevator, but you were already confused about what'd happened in your absence, so I didn't. I knew you weren't interested in me anyway."
"It didn't stop Kobra," she snaps back. My face turns a deep shade of red when I remember him coming to my office and confessing that he'd kissed my girlfriend. Then I press a hand to my forehead. I'd beaten him to a pulp and I hadn't cared. I used to be so messed up. Maybe I still am.
Regardless of her sharp tongue and biting words, there's a glimmer of astonishment and amazement on her face, something I'm pleased to see. But then it's gone, replaced by anger and irritation once more. "Do you really think I care if you used to like me, Ghoul? Because I don't."
Ghoul looks to Jet like he's seeking his permission. Jet nods, so Ghoul twists the dial up to ten and presses the button. The pain is visible on Paranoia's face when she gets shocked again, even if the dose is for less than a second. She's panting when her body stops twitching, but that look of defiance is still there in her eyes. "Sorry," she says coolly. "Try again."
"I never got to finish my story," Ghoul says, never one to be deterred. Paranoia sighs and closes her eyes. "Why do you think I took those pills for you when we got thrown in prison? It wasn't just because we were friends. It was because I loved you and I wanted to be your knight in shining armor." He chuckles a little. "And then Kobra swooped in and got us out, and I started to get off the high from the pills. And it was in Stage Two, that delusion of being normal again, I knew I'd lost you to Kobra."
Paranoia's eyes open and she almost looks curious. "Yeah?" she asks. "How'd you figure that one out?"
"I didn't know he'd kissed you the night you were sentenced, but I knew something big had happened. And it wasn't like I'd never noticed the way he only talked to you or smiled when you were around. I didn't miss the glares he'd send me when I made an inappropriate joke at your expense. The fact that he was always wherever you were was my first clue." He takes a deep breath and looks down, not meeting my questioning eyes. "The kiss at the hideout was my second."
I feel as though the air's been knocked out of my lungs at his words. So Kobra had kissed her again, even after I'd warned him against ever doing anything of the sort again. Looks like the beating didn't pound the threat into his head well enough. The kicker is that Jet doesn't even look surprised by this latest revelation - he knew as well. I clench my fists and round on Ghoul, snapping, "So you back off when my brother kisses my girlfriend but not when I do?"
"Shut up, Party," he says with a small grin. "I'm telling a story."
"You knew," Paranoia almost gasps. "Jet told you."
Ghoul shakes his head. "No, I saw." Her eyes widen substantially. "Don't act so frightened, Paranoia. I'll make sure Party understands that it was just to prove a point. I saw the whole thing, you see. Everyone was asleep when it happened, including Jet, which gave me the opportunity to sneak off and find you. Mere hours off the pills and I was already feeling loads better." He laughs. "Anyway, I know that he only did it to convince you that you were still in love with Party. It was so sweet how you said Party's name after Kobra pulled away from you." He smiles in my direction and, surprisingly, I return it.
"Stop talking about it," she hisses.
"I knew I'd lost you when I heard you say Party's name. And I knew Kobra felt something for you as well, because I'd never seen him be so forward with a person before. I caught him as soon as he left you standing there and confronted him about it." Ghoul gives me a sad smile now. "He told me everything."
Paranoia's eyes grow hard. "I'm done listening to this. Just shock me again and get it over with."
Jet comes over and turns the dial up to twenty before pressing the button. Paranoia shrieks this time, jerking around in the chair that groans on its rusty legs. I step forward now. "My turn," I say quietly, taking over the microphone. Ghoul and Jet nod together and retreat to stand with their backs against the wall. "Paranoia?"
"Oh, great," she groans. "It's you."
"Do you know what happened after the four of us were shot in BLI?" I've never told her this story, but I'm not sure if anyone else has either. Judging by her silence, I choose to assume that she doesn't know. "Korse had us chained to hospital beds in a room full of other Killjoys that'd been captured. We all had scorch marks on us wherever the blasts had hit us, the only way that we knew that those events had really happened. Korse came along and drugged us up before putting us in separate rooms. The drugs led us to speaking whatever was on our mind, each and every time we thought of something. And do you know what most of my thoughts were of?" Just her eyes are pointed in my direction. She's silent. "You."
She rolls her eyes. "This sounds like the setup to some shitty romance movie."
"I knew I was in love with you from the night we danced around the diner. It ripped me apart knowing I'd left you all alone, and at that point I wasn't even sure if you were still alive. You weren't locked up in the main room with us, and that was the only hope I had that you weren't dead after all. And each and every time Korse came by and dosed me with another round of drugs, the first thing I'd ask was 'Where is Paranoia? Is she okay?' And Korse could never tell me the answer because he didn't know." I shake my head. "And then I'd launch into a montage of 'I need her' and 'I miss her' and 'I love her'. I was surprised Korse didn't just shoot my brains out right then. I'm pretty sure I was the most annoying, and Ghoul was captured too."
"Excuse me, bitch," Ghoul says from behind me.
I laugh. "The point is that you were always on my mind. Every waking thought was about you, and on the rare occasions when I got to sleep, all my dreams were of you talking, laughing, and smiling. They were of your face, your eyes, your lips. I never wanted to wake up because I was afraid that opening my eyes would permanently banish the image of you from my mind. You were the only thing that kept me sane throughout the whole ordeal, although most of the time I was sure I was going crazy."
Paranoia's expression is pained. And, to my astonishment, tears actually threaten to spill over onto her cheeks. "Stop," she begs softly.
"Shock her," Jet says. I nod and reach for the button, but not before he cuts me off. "No, turn it up to fifty. One last blast should work." I do as he says and twist the dial until the meter hits fifty. Then I press the button.
Paranoia's scream rips through me, nearly shattering my eardrums. The door to the little room the three of us are seated in flies open and Kobra dashes in, wearing the most dangerous look I've ever seen on him. It only takes one hand and half of a second for him to shove me so far aside that I hit the wall with my shoulder. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he shouts. "You're going to kill her!"
Jet holds up his hands. "Fifty volts is perfectly fine. It's only half the amount it takes to kill a person. She's not even close to being in danger."
Kobra grabs the front of Jet's shirt and yanks him forward until they're nose to nose. "She's weak," he snaps. "Do you know the last time she's eaten? No? Because I don't either. She's skinny, she's dehydrated, and you are literally pushing her toward her death right now."
"Kobra, please, calm down," Jet says in a warning tone. "Don't do anything you'll regret."
His hazel eyes that nearly match mine suddenly fill with the deepest amount of sadness I've ever seen in a person. "I already have," he says. His voice cracks.
He lets go of Jet and pushes him roughly aside, accidentally knocking him into the controls. And, by some crazy stroke of misfortune, the button gets pressed again and Paranoia screams as fifty more volts shock her body. The second passes and she starts to cry. "I'm sorry," she sobs. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do it. I didn't mean to do any of it."
Kobra is gone in a flash and in front of her within the same second it seems, kneeling down in front of her and trying to undo the cuffs around her ankles before moving on to her wrists and forehead. "Shut the damn machine off," he snaps at us from the other side of the glass. "I don't want it turned on again."
Jet rushes to turn off the box as Ghoul and I stand helplessly by, watching all the commotion with wide eyes. I know I should go and help Paranoia, but I'm rooted to the spot I'm standing on. I could have killed her. That's the very thing I'm trying to prevent, and yet I almost did.
Kobra is successful in freeing Paranoia, and he doesn't waste a moment pulling her out of the chair and into his arms, picking her up bridal style to carry her back into the room the rest of us are in. "I'm sorry," he says to her. "I'm so sorry for what I did."
I don't know what he's referring to, as it wasn't his fault that any of this shock therapy happened to her, but she's nodding and accepting his apology right in front of my eyes. She knows what he's referring to, even if I don't. But my mind is only consumed with one thought: We cured her.
We cured her.