Zoey
I winced the bruise from last night was told against my ribs, I sighed remembering how Bri kicked me in the ribs because I fell asleep during her favorite move.
She knew I hated horror but forced me to watch it, I tried to break up with her but she knew how to mentally hurt me enough to allow her to stay. I was almost finished college I took an extra year to put some good things on my resume, Bri never went to college.
Bri never even finished high school, she had no money and didn't have a job so she clinged to me like life support. If you would've asked me at 16 if I loved her, I would've told you with all my heart but now if you asked me at 23 with scars permanently etched to my body if I gave a damn about the girl sleeping in my bed I'd tell you no.
She always ended back here in my bed, using my money and my clothes. I pitied her, I hated her, I feared her and she was the reason for my insecurities and fears and self hatred for myself. She knew I was too weak, she knew I'd give in and I proved it to her every single fucking time she came back to me crying. She was a drugged up addict who needed somebody to cling too and I was her solution.
I quickly showered and changed, I wasn't the dress up type of girl anymore. I was now so self cautious and insecure about myself and my body that I couldn't even wear a dress without bawling my eyes out infront of the mirror. I hated everything about my skin, I hated how my breast were shaped and how my thighs touched.
I sighed at my outfit, I didn't have much to wear since I hadn't did laundry today. I could already hear what Bri had to say about my outfit, these tights were to tight and I didn't have the ass for them. My shirt was to baggy so I look homeless but if it was too tight I was a slut looking for outside attention.
I felt the need to cry, I hated how she had imprinted these insecurities inside my brain and now I don't enjoy anything I wear. I'm so worn and broken, and she feasts on it like a wolf till I'm nothing but bones on her plate. I quickly throw my hair in a bun and then leave the bathroom, I noticed Bri sitting on the kitchen stool in very tight shorts and a tank top with her boobs pushed up too the wind.
"Good morning babe." I whispered, she turned to me with a smile.
"Good morning beautiful." She responded, my heart stopped in my chest.
There was something wrong, something was absolutely wrong. She never complimented me, she never called me beautiful. Why was she acting like this, what did I do? What did she do. Is she hiding something from me, is there something going on.
"How do I look?" I asked waiting for the harsh comments to hit me in the face like knives.
"Gorgeous as usual why?" She spoke softly, I felt the need to scream.
There was no snide comment on my flat ass, or the fact you could see my arms. She didn't comment on my oversized shirt, she said I looked gorgoeus. I saw this look in her eye as she hoped I would think nothing of it, the obvious change in her routine. I placed a bright smile on my lips as she looked at me, my heart slamming in my chest at this new fear overwhelmed me constricting my chest until it was almost impossible to breath.
"Thank you babe." I said sweetly, I acted like I usually did.
I made her breakfast then I made her coffee, I walked into the bedroom and tore off the sheets like I always did every single day. I changed them into this peach shade that I loved dearly but Bri hated and she told me I did an amazing job and them kissed my cheek and told me to have a good day.
I walked out the building and walked to my car, every step felt like a huge weight on me and I couldn't breath. I got into the car and drove to a coffee shop, I wasn't going to school today and I called all my professors about it. They were very understanding and always set me what I missed to my email. Before my father died he had put allot of money it renovating and improving the school so they basically treated me slightly better and at times like this is truly came in handy.
I sat at the coffee shop with my laptop and got some work done, the feeling of weight on my chest never got lighter. I only drank water cause I knew something was different, Bri had never treated me like that and I was missing something huge. She was dressed nicer today, she had her makeup done and her nails which I never paid for and I knew she had no qualifications for a job.
I got most of my school work done at the coffee shop, my thoughts were slamming around my head like a basketball game. I started watching videos on YouTube, I really liked to watch comedy videos but I wasn't really one to laugh. I sighed as I looked at the clock and realized it was no where close to the time I should be home.
I saw a hair salon across the street and looked at my pale boring blone hair, I smiled widely and decided to pack up and head across the street. I felt this wave of uncomfort hit me as I walked inside, this wasn't me yet I felt like I deserved it. I had so many of Bri's words beating me around inside my head, yet I was fighting.
"What can I get you darling?" A older women said, her eyes held so much light.
"I don't really know." I whispered, I felt so insecure and out of place.
"I understand darling, let an old lady do her magic." She said, I saw understanding in her eyes.
I didn't know what she knew when she looked at me, yet I trusted her completely. I sat in the hair salon chair as she touched my hair, I couldn't look in a mirror as I felt her began her process. I told her to dye it, I didn't know what and I didn't even know why I was here yet I felt so terrified inside.
I felt scared, I felt worried, I felt lost, I felt alone. Bri had tore me down so low I didn't even know who I was or what I wanted for myself because she had put down everything I was. I relaxed for once, my tense muscles became jello as she dyed my hair and for once I felt safe.
"You'll figure it out darling." The lady said, I jumped slightly at her caring tone.
"What do you mean?" I asked kindly, she chuckled.
"I can see the gears working in your head, I remember the behaviour and trust me darling you'll figure it all out." She said confidently, I believed her.
"You really think so?" I asked, she turned me toward her and smiled.
"I know so darling, you have a strong soul but your mind has become weak and there's nothing wrong with being weak because of somebody you thought loved you but sometimes it's time to let go of those who cause more pain then good." She said, I felt like somebody actually was helping.
I didn't have a mother, I didn't have friends or somebody who I could talk too. I didn't have somebody to help, and everyone frowned on me being in this relationship expessially the people who caught her abuse on the street or the neighbors in the complex yet how can you get out without help? How can you leave when you've been torn down to nothing and you believe they are the only ones who can love you.
"Thank you." I whispered, as she we waited for the timer to go off.
"Somebody will love you darling, it might take years or it could take weeks but you won't find it if you stay." She said as the timer went of, making me realize we had been talking for almost 40 minutes.
She washed my hair and then blow dried it, I felt this rush of excitement I had never felt before. I sat in the salon chair and I couldn't keep still, she looked at with a bright smile as she turned me around and my eyes went wide as I saw pale pink hair shining back at me.
It was like a beautiful color, almost blonde still but still pink. It was soft and warm, my eyes popped against it in contrast and I felt my heart hurt in happiness. I felt lighter, excited and less insecure for the first time since I was 16.
"Thank you!" I squeal, she laughed.
"Your welcome." She said, I felt so excited.
I paid for her service and I sped home, a part of me wanted to show Bri and the other part didn't. She was the only person in my life and I knew she was the only one I could show, yet I knew deep inside me there would be only bad comments about it. I felt insecurities fighting to be freed yet the excitement bubbled around my skin and I couldn't feel the fears inside me anymore.
I unlocked the door quietly, I was so excited that I didn't realize how early I actually was to be home. It wasn't until I heard the loud moans of Bri that the excitement melted off me like sweat pooling to the floor with a thus that only I could hear.
It wasn't until I could hear Bri's screams from an orgasm that I didn't give her, or the females name that came off her tongue that wasn't mine. I felt tears well up in my eyes, we weren't in love anymore and I knew that but the hurt of being cheated on weighed heavily inside my chest and I knew it was time.
I walked straight to my bedroom door where she was commiting her crime, slamming the door open as it hit the bedroom wall with a loud thud and the two bodies jumped high in the air naked wrapped in the pink covers I used to love so deeply.
The light pink shade wrapped around my soon ex girlfriend, and another girl who looked like a model walking of the cover of a magazine. Their sweat covered bodies as Bri looked me with wide eyes, the shock of my hair or me being home evident on her face as her eyes darted from me, the clock and the girl she was in bed with but there was no emotion swirling around them.
"OUT." I said, my voice was loud and clear.
"Wait Zoey it's not what it looks like!" Bri exclaimed, but I looked at her.
"It's over Brianna." I said, her eyes widened at her full name.
"Zoey.."She whispered, the taste of guilt hiring my chest.
"I'm done Brianna, it's over." I said once again my voice louder, angrier.
"No!" She said, it was desperate and scared.
"The abuse, the name calling, the lies, and now cheating? How long!" I yelled as she flinched, her eyes filled with tears.
"4 months." She whispered, I felt my chest constrict in pain.
"Get out." I said one last time, my voice shook.
"Please." She whispered, reaching to touch me as the girl beside her rushed to get her clothes on.
"Pack all your stuff and leave NOW." I yelled and she flinched, fear exploded behind her eyes.
I walked out to the kitchen and poured myself some wine, the wine I had stored for Bri had became mine.
"What do I bring?" Her voice wavered, she looked like a mouse.
"Everything you bought for yourself, that I bought for you except the alcohol that's MINE." I growled out, she nodded.
I could hear the sound of packing, I sat on the couch and watched the bag on the bed being filled with her things. She didn't have much, it was like she barely existed in this apartment. I stopped giving her things when I realized she sold them for pills but then she stopped taking them when I threaten to leave her, she did stop but that was because she realized hitting me was a better addiction.
I watched tears pour down her cheeks, as the girl she cheated on me with offered her a place to stay but shuffled side to side clearly feeling that awkward air suffocating everyone inside the apartment as tears poured down my face and the wine left a bitter taste in my throat.
"I'm done." She said, I shrugged.
"Bye, leave the key on the coffee table." I said coldly, I heard a cling of a key being placed.
Then I felt her hard hand on my wrist tightly grabbing it in anger, I could feel her angry leaving her in waves as I looked into her eyes. Yet her face looked like one of pain, the perfect mask to show the world yet she couldn't fool me.
"Don't do this." She said, I could hear the double meaning.
"Fuck off." I said slamming my fist in her face, as she fell to the ground
She clutched her nose in agony, looking up at me in pure fear and shock. I had never stood up for myself, I had never hurt her back and now she knew it was over. She knew I was done, she picked herself up the blood still on the floor as she ran out the building.
Then I collasped into a bawl, crying the last of my tears and taking a big gulp of the wine that took away the ache in my chest. I was finally free, I was finally safe and I could finally heal.
VOTE & COMMENT 💕
HOLY SHIT EH? I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS CHAPTER, I HOPE IT SOUNDS OKAY.
I FINALLY HAVE INSPIRATION GUYS! I ACTUALLY HAVE IDEAS AND THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH MY BRAIN LIKE OMG.
See you in Chapter 3
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